JannaS
June '05'
Hello....a little bit about me. Well, Im 27 born and raised here in beautiful SanDiego, California. Graduated from ElCajon Valley High School and a graduate from Valley Career College; Nationally Certified Medical Assistant. I have one son who's 4. I've always been a big girl since kindergarten. Always the tallest and the biggest. Junior high was rough of course because of the kids making jokes and laughing at me. Doing mean things. Luckily I had a pretty good sense of humor and most of the time I'd laugh with them. Not in agreeance of course but, just the "kill 'em' with kindness" routine. I remember asking my mother if High school would be as bad. She said "No, the kids are older and more mature." Wrong, mom! LoL. Well, it wasn't quite as bad as Jr. high but, it wasn't great either. I had lots of friends in High school so that probably made it easier. I really never let my weight problem affect my ability to do things that other kids my age did. Maybe not as good physically or as fast but, I did them. I had to do the dreaded "Fun Run Friday's," you know the mile, just like everyone else. Again not in 4 & 5 minutes but, in 15. I went to school dances. Pretty much my whole life people including my family said "You have such a pretty face if you can only loose weight." Well, I guess that brings me here. I am now feeling my weight. All 436 pounds of me. Im getting older and the weight has finally slowed me down. I cant walk up stairs as easy or run fast or even get out of my car very well anymore. Im ready to be the biggest looser. I cant wait to shed all of this weight and really enjoy life. I do deserve it. I own it and want it. Lord please help me. I believe in you please help me father. So this is it. Im a couple days away from my surgery date and Im very excited and a little scared. I hope Im making the right decision. I cant just keep getting bigger. So, here goes. I don't want to be the girl with just the pretty face but, the girl with a pretty body too. Thank-You so much for reading and please pray for me. Especially around May 27th about 12 noon. HaHaHeHe
June '05'
OK, today is the 29th and I <<<<<>>>>>> chickened out. I couldn't do it!!!! I just couldn't do it. The night before I tossed and turned couldn't sleep a wink. I just kept thinking am I doing the right thing??? Have I tried all that was possible before this "no going back decision"? I prayed and prayed please Lord let the answer hit me in the face. He knows how I have to get the answer's sometimes. LOL Pretty much I came up with he will support me in whatever my decision is. But, there has to be something done. I cannot continue this out of control behavior. Im getting older now and it must stop. I have made a Dr.'s apt. with my primary to see what is also out there. Maybe even the lap band. I haven't really researched that yet. So I will keep posting about my journey.
