jazzette0504
On June 30, 2005, I weighed 503.9 pounds. When I got off the scale, bawling my eyes out, I thought at the time that it was the worst day of my life. Amazingly enough, it has turned out to be the best day of my life, because that was the day that I became willing to change my eating and my lifestyle.
I was trapped in a prison made of fat. I could barely hobble and barely breathe. I could not stand up from a seated position without having two strong people pull me up. Standing was so painful, I could only do it for about one minute. Plagued by depression, I had spent the last two years in bed, basically trying to eat and drink myself to death. But I didn't die. It made me so angry at God -- because I truly believed that I wanted (and needed) to die.
I had lost everything that ever meant anything to me. I had lost my job. My marriage had sustained irreparable damage. My husband and I were still living together, but only because we couldn't afford not to. None of my friends bothered to call anymore, because I had isolated myself totally from them. I was physically very weak from being bedridden so long. It sucked to be me, and it sucked to be around me.
I was not only addicted to food, but to alcohol as well. I sought help from a 12-step group to deal with my food and alcohol problems. Before I could deal with my food addiction, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic and get sober. After being sober just over a year, I began the process of getting accepted as a patient of Dr. David Voellinger in Charlotte, NC. It was at my first appointment with a dietician that she put me on the scale and I discovered to my horror that I weighed over 500 pounds.
It had been a couple years since I had previously been weighed -- 486 pounds. Looking back, I don't know why I thought that weighing 486 wasn't so bad. My thinking was all screwed up. But once I hit the 500 mark , that was the last straw. My world came crashing down around me. I cried out to God for help, but didn't really believe I would get it. Today I am grateful that the One who created me can fix me!
Weighing 503 pounds, though horribly painful, was a gift for me. It was a gift because it made me determined that I was going to do whatever it took for me to lose weight. I wanted to be free of my fat prison. I wanted to have a body that was fit and healthy and appropriate for me, and I deserve it!!!
Today, I am so so so so glad that God interrupted my death, and has helped me to find a new, healthy way of life.
After consulting with Dr. Voellinger and my family (two of my siblings are physicians) I decided that I wanted to have gastric bypass done in two stages. On June 19, 2006, I had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy.
My current weight is 381, and I am going back to see Dr. Voellinger this week to see if he thinks it is time for me to have stage II which completes the gastric bypass process for me.
