I went shopping yesterday.  I have been buying 2 pairs of pants in the next size down when I start wearing a size.  Then I found myself in that no mans land where the 16w are too big and the 18 are too tight so have put off getting new pants for work.  Imagine my surprise when I tried on a regular 16 and they fit!  Whohoo!  I had hit the clearance rack and found some knit tops in the womans section for $3.  So I thought to myself, I wonder if they have these in the Misses section also.  Whooohooo!  I was a happy girl.    I am still trying to get my head around the fact that I have dropped 3 shirt sizes and 7 pants sizes and only 3/4 to my first goal.I can't believe that I am shopping in the Misses department.  WOW!  I say first goal as I don't really know where I will end up.  I set a number that is still considered "overweight" but no longer "obese" and am now reconsidering that number.  If I change it, it will be after I have reached it, tho.  As Charlie Sheen would say...."Winner!"

I have been travelling this journey for 4 plus months now and am one happy camper.  I have lost 73 lbs, and total of 47 3/4". OMG  That is two little grandchildren people or seven 10 lb packages of sugar.  I have lost 6 sizes in pants, and 2 in tops.  This is great as i needed to lose in my behind more than my top half.  One thing tho.  I am starting to have symptons of B12 deficiency.  I go to the Dr. next week on Tuesday and bloodwork this week so will confirm or deny my suspicions. 

I had to laugh.  My husband works out of town during the week.  He came home on Friday and I rushed up to him and said, "Feel this.  Feel this!"  He said, "What????""  I pointed to my hip and said, "This is a hip bone."  Surprise.

I didn't make it two weeks and am at a plateau.  How could this be?  I am following the plan.  I added soup for lunch and dinner 4 days ago and haven't lost a pound since. Why soup?  It is what they gave me in the hospital.  I believe that I got too much sodium and that stopped me.  However, I am following the plan and it should be coming off again soon.  (fingers crossed.)

I had these grand plans about getting back to work and showing everyone my astounding weight loss.  Ha.  Joke is on me. 

I need to keep my head in it and keep up with the plan.  It will come off.

Reached a milestone.  30 lbs since I decided to take this tool into my life.  30 lbs....wow.  I am blown away.  It is harder than I thought and I thought that I had read and researched it all. 

I feel like I am having hunger but everything I read says that should not be there.  So, what is it?  I am trying to get everything in, liquids, protiens, vitamins.  I have had a couple of bites of mashed potatos a couple of times.  I am getting all the grams of each that I am suppose to get.  But I don't think I am getting enough calories so am tired and weak alot.

Anybody out there feeling the same?

Well, it's been five days since my surgery.  Four of those were spent in the hospital. Six IV's and high blood pressure kept me in.  So, yesterday I got to come home.  I played it safe and just had water but am wondering how I will be able to go on.  Panic is setting in when I realize that this is it.  There is no going back. 

But wait.  I remember.  This is for me.  This is for my health.  This is for my husband.  This is for my kids, and this is for my grandkids. 

Yes, each day is getting better.  I will survive this and it will be exceptional.  I can do this.

Still excited but starting to get anxious.  All the what if's are starting to mess up my head and the gremlins with my scale. I have followed Dr.'s instructions but have managed to put on 3 lbs.  

However,  I have faith in my surgeon and myself and MY GOD.  I am trusting in that. 

I keep telling myself that this is going to be so good for me.  My health, my body, my husband, my children, my grandchildren.  Ok, so who can it possibly not be good for?

Hmmm   short list.  Only those who wish they could be doing what I have decided to do.

So, that being the case....WHOHOOOO.  I am running with the skid slide to my surgery appointment tomorrow @ 5 AM.

See  ya on the slide down.

Last night I met up with friends that I worked with 10 years ago.  When we worked together, we sat and ate lunch every day, five days a week.  We shared our lives, our hurts, our goals, and our families each and every day for 12 years.

We met up at a Mexican restaurant for dinner and drinks.  We laughed, and shared old stories that we had told in the past but they sounded new again.

Did I tell them about my surgery on Tuesday?  NO!  I tell myself that it wasn't the place and that is partially true.  What is also true is that I no longer know how they would react and I chickened out. 

So here's the plan.  I will sit down and write them each a note on Monday.  It will be the same type that I wrote for those that I work with.  I will tell them, then ask for their prayers and support and then move on.

In reality, this isn't about them.  This is about me.  MY LIFE.  MY HEALTH! And, in all reality, I have made my descision and do not plan to change my mind.  I need this for ME!

Allow Your Own Inner Light to Guide You

There comes a time when you must stand alone.

You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.

You must be willing to make sacrifices.

You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.

Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.

There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.

Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.

Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.

Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.

Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.

I have been out and about getting last minute stuff, shampoo, toothpaste, etc. to take with me to the hospital.  I am still so excited I want to tell everyone.  I am also concerned that meeting someone during my day who is sick and gives me a cold will pospone my big day.  So, hand santizer by the gallons for the next few days.

First cashier I get to sneezes into her hand then continues our transaction.  Do I say anything?  HELL YES.  I told her she needs to sneeze into her elbow.  She didn't understand so I spelled it out to her.  Do I regret it.  Not a chance.

We all need to be aware how our actions affect someone else and be more diligent in keeping our germs to ourselves. 

Happiness is a choice, love is a chance, and life is a dream.. so make the choice, take a chance and live in your dreams. ~T. Welch~

As most of you know, this is a long process from decision to day of surgery.  Along this road, you are probed and prodded and poked and squeezed and then you have to see of you are crazy or not.  (Poke me again and see, Doc.)

Two years ago I had back surgery and have been recently having more and more pain again.  This is one part of my decision along with regaining my health. 

I didn't want to tell people at work until I left the day before as I thought that they could get all the chatter out while I was gone.  What I didn't expect was the number of coworkers who asked me what I was having surgery for.  Was it my back again?

I decided to draft a letter to send out to a select group at the same time.  That way, everyone gets the same information.  However, HR was not so sure about this idea.  They came over to my side after reading it.

Every day since almost from the first day I started my position, I have sent out a positive Thought of the Day. I started my email with the posting below which ends with Today's thought.  Today was no different.  However, today's thought was just for me.

The rest is my email and attached letter to my coworkers.  Enjoy!

All,
About my surgery, A lot of you asked so thought I would share my thoughts.  Please see attached and wish me well. With that, I want to leave you with today’s thought again…
 “Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
- Mahatma Gandhi

Now the attached letter
As most of you know, I am going out for surgery next week. What you may not know is that I will be having weight loss and gall bladder surgery. I have been having troubles with my back again along with some other things. I am reasonably sure that the excess weight that I carry contributes to my back problems. I have researched, consulted with doctors, and studied the various options and have decided that this is a tool that I need to jump start the rest of a healthy life. I have spent the last 3 months getting probed and prodded and am now ready to take this step. In addition, I have been checked out and certified to be reasonably sane (at least during the time I saw the psychiatrist.)  Over time, medicine has advanced by leaps and bounds in this field of medicine and I am convinced by using this tool, along with diet and exercise, I will be successful. I appreciate your prayers and support . Thanks,