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Boy I havent been on in a long time!!! Lots has happened . I adopted a little boy he's 1 now and I am 5 months pregnant and found out last week its a girl, so excited. Not so excited about some of the weight Ive gained since being pregnant. I need to really start counting calories again and writing it down and try to get back to walking. It's been really hard walking since I've been pregnant though because of the cramping I get and the Dr. says I am high risk because I am 41 years old andsome of the medical things I have gone through. 

 I feel lazy and like a couch potatoe at night of course thats after the baby has been put to bed). Duriing the day my head spins round and round with all that is going on but boy I always make an effort to eat.

 I want that energy back and the pretty feeling I once had. I was so excited thinking when I  got pregnant my sag from my stomach would lift up.. boy was I wrong, its still a sag (yeah...not) Oh well I am just glad I didnt get plastic surgery when I wanted to. I would have really blown that especially how this wasnt a planned pregnancy. Don't get me wrong I am thrilled about the new upcoming baby but just didnt think to hard about the changes that are happening right in front of me with my body day by day. I sat in a lawnchair tonight and my legs and thighs hit the sides again UUUUUGGGHHHHHHHH! No I dont want that! Well the joys of pregnancy!

Well its 2 years out of surgery now and

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!!!!!!

Went to my Dr.'s and i look like I'm at were my body is going to stay. I was 195 pounds but the dietician said she could easily say I have 20 pounds of skin. I would love to get that off so bad but of course I do not want the surgery and the pain involved with it. Oh, well .

I was right. I got weighed on the same scale yesterday at the Dr's office and it read 192. I knew the weight of 189 was because I was sick and got rid of a lot of water weight. But, I'm still happy with 192 (I wish it was 150)Oh well. Happy Thanksgiving everyone and remember stay on track and plan.

I can't believe it !!! I was sick with the flu over the weekend and had to go in for my physical on Monday and the Dr's office weighted me in at 189 pounds!!!!! I cant believe I'm in the 180's. I kept saying "Are you sure the scale isn't wrong. So  this is what I'm hoping, that  it wasn't a false reading because I got rid of half my body fluids when I was sick. So if I start eating normal again will it be right back.

I"m just so happy to see that number on the scale.

Lost 224 pounds.

I must be dreaming!

Hi All!
Just a quick update I would like to share with you, the hospital that I had my weight loss surgery at, Beth Isreal Deaconess Hospital in Boston had its annual weight loss reunion on my daughters 14th birthday, October 2, 2008 and I was asked to speak. I think it went really well. I had lots of people coming up to me after that had almost had the same experience and was so happy I was able to sharemy story. I saw some people crying and just really paying attention to me talk, while others wanted me to "shut up".
But I just love sharing my story because I am so proud and happy at  what a difference it has made in my life! I am living life now and I just want to shout it from the roof top!!!!

Beth Isreal did a little peice on the reunion for their employee newsletter and the women that interviewed me e-mailed me with what she wrote. I thought I would share it with you...

Weight Loss Surgery Patients Gain Friendship,
Self-esteem
By Morag MacLachlan

 

Joanne Shepard remembers walking down the hall of her high school to the jeers of students yelling “Earthquake!” as they pretended to be "moved" by her size. On diets since the fourth grade, Shepard admits she was more than 420 pounds at her heaviest. With her health deteriorating and dependent on a wheelchair, Shepard decided to undergo Roux-en Y Gastric Bypass (RYBG) surgery at BIDMC nearly two years ago. Now the 39-year-old wife and mother doesn’t shy away from public places. “I live life now. I feel free,” she said

Shepard joined 125 patients who attended the third annual Weight Loss Surgery Reunion held in the Shapiro Lobby on Thursday evening, Oct. 2. She was one offour key speakers who decided to share her story with the crowd, eliciting nods of understanding from many and a round of applause from everyone when she announced she shed 217 pounds. “I’m just starting to feel like I fit in,” Shepard said. “I’m not an oddity. I’m not the big girl. People no longer look at me in disgust. I blend in when I enter a room and I love it.”

Hi everyone!
I have been really focusing on exercising and logging everything in my food diary. My daily calories are any where from 1100 to 1300 a day. But I will admit some days I am hungrier than others it just depends on how much exercise I do.

Sorry I havent written for a long while. I had some extra time so though it was a good day to write. Yesterday I am offically out of surgery 18 months and I find it a lot harder because I am able to hold a lot more food. I also find myself wanting big portions (the feeling if you know what I mean). The guilt is with me all the time. I feel like I am crazy and all alone in this challenge. Like no one can understand or help me. I wake up feeling like a failure even though I am not. How can I be I lost 215 pounds! But what rings through my head is "you are never going to reach your goal". Maybe I did a wrong thing by desiring a goal of 150 pounds. Maybe it is unattanible? Maybe my body is done loosing?
 
I started yesterday tracking my calories just to see how much I really am consuming. I always track my protein and water but was curious how many calories I was eating. I know my dietician said dont count calories but at one point she said that once you are out a while you have to watch your calories. I'm just a little confused. At a meeting I asked her again "how many calories was I supposed to be consuming" and she said she wont anwser that because "you know you have to count proteins". Maybe I am consuming too many calories and thats why my weight loss is so slow Or maybe my body is done and this is the weight I will be at forever.I DONT WANT THAT!!! I want more weight off so I can feel and look normal.

It's funny you are different than everyone else when you are heavy and you feel really self consious, but when you loose weight a whole nother problem takes play, you get loose skin that you have to cover up and hide and you feel like "if people only could see whats under these clothes" maybe they wouldnt be so nice?  and you still feel differnt. I know, I know.  I am so hard on myself Im my worst critic. Like I said maybe I'm going crazy? (I hope not) or maybe I just think to far into things. Does anyone else feel like this?

Just wanted to update everyone on Harvard went.

 I felt like I was on a talk show. 2 chairs were in the front and, I sat in one and the Dean of Harvard sat in the other. He interviewed me and asked me a bunch of baseline questions like, " Are your parents obese, Your siblings obese,  Why do think you were heavier than your other siblings, How old were you when you noticed you were obese, When did you start dieting, Did you have any co-morbity illnesses, Did you have a difficult pregnancy, Why did you do the bypass, What was it like, Did you have any complications immediately after surgery, How much have you lost so far, How is life now?"

There were about 40 interns in the audience that were very attentive to me talking and sharing my story. After the interview there was a time for questions and after that lots of people came up to me to talk. The Dean said He would like to have me back next year for a progress report and interview.

It felt really good to be able to get this opportunity and I am greatful maybe my story can make a differnce.

I am so thrilled! Last night I got a call from a wife of a Dr.'s wife that is the Dean of Harvard Medical School. He got my name from my bypass Dr. and heard that I would be willing to share my story and journey about my bypass even though in my eyes my journey is still happening ( 60 something more pounds to go).  Me speaking at HARVARD MEDICAL, can you believe it? Never even though it was a possibility. What next tea with Miffy and Bif. (LOL) 

Anyway, I will be going to "Harvard" this Friday 3/7/08 to speak and be interviewed in front of 30 medical students. I guess I really will be able to say "I parked my car in Harvard yard", of course with my "Boston "accent. 

No really, I hope that I do really well and don't get nervous, after all I just have to remember their people too.