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 Another big chunk of time  has gone by since I posted. I remember how I depended on this site, every day to help me prepare for surgery. I remember how I would look at before/after pictures and try to picture myself as one. Now, even though I don't  have the pictures to prove it (on this site), I feel like a before/after girl. It is a miracle to me. I still have a few pounds to loose. I know why it's still there, too. I eat too much. Yes, you can eat too much after this surgery. If I didn't run, I would weight more. I know it's my problem to face. This surgery is just a tool. When people ask me how I lost all this weight, and they do several times a week, I feel obligated to tell them I had RNY because I don't take credit for this. I do tell them about the running, but I still think if I hadn't had this surgery, even with running, I would be heavy. On the other  hand, I couln't /wouldn't run with all that extra weight. So, it's partly due to my efforts but I feel it's mostly due to surgery. I do not want to go back where I was, so I am working on my eating...refining it..making it healthier but not  so rigid that I do not eat normally. There's always work to do on this project...

So, I accomplished one of my summer time goals...I went to the local water park and went down ALL the water slides. Let me tell you. It was scarey!! 45 year old women should not be trajectories down water slides...even if you are 100 pounds lighter! I was determined to experience all the slides, so I did them and then detemined I was finished with that goal. Now, it's the lazy river and wave pool for me. :)  I still need to go to an amusement park and ride some roller coasters. I'm afraid it might be the same experience though....

Another month has gone by. This past month I've been able to accomplish some things I didn't picture myself doing. I am following a training schedule for the half marathon and I ran 7 miles this past weekend. So far, that's my longest run. This is very doable for anybody who is patient enough to go through the steps. I started by following a schedule to run a 5k (3 miles). After that, I felt I really wanted to do more; I got the "running bug". This current schedule will take me up to November when the marathon takes place; so it's a slow process. I absolutely love it. Because of the running, I can wear a smaller size with little weight loss between sizes. I still have 10 pounds to my goal and I will need to make a strong effort to watch what I eat to get there. But, only having 10 pounds to worry about is so much better than 100! My goal is 100 pounds from my top weight. So, for other things that have changed; I fit into seating situations with no problems (airplanes, armed chairs, movie theatre seating, etc. I can wear the sizes I wore in high school again....I can shop for clothes where ever misses sizes are sold...a HUGE rush! I have so much more self confidence. I used to feel so self conscious around thin people. Now, even though I am not "thin" I feel I am "average" which has made a big difference in how I feel in social situations. I think I am more outgoing, too. I am definetly soft hearted towards others who carry a lot of extra weight. I hope I never forget how it was, AND I hope I never have to feel those feelings again. I am able to overeat at times, which is scarey. I still have things to work out. But, overall, life is a lot more fulfilling. I plan on going to an amusement park and a water park this summer; the amusement park to experience how it feels to be confident you won't fall out because you weigh too much, and the water park because now I am under the weight limit to get on the water slides like the kids. :) My body is a bit saggy and baggy but I'm okay with that. I try to wear clothes that accentuate the positives. :) The right clothes do wonders!

Where has the time gone. I have seriously been delinquent in writting. It's been 8 months since surgery. I have been very pleased with the results. I am close to my goal weight. My current pictures aren't posted, but I do look different. I am grateful that I have not, so far, had any major health problems since surgery. The time has come when weight loss is very slow, but that's okay. Up to this point, as of a month or so ago, the weight came off pretty easily. Now, I have to work at it, meaning it's easier to eat more and I can tolerate more kinds of food, so despite exercising, I still need to watch what I eat. One can stop losing or gain weight back if they don't change their habits. I am at that point of coming to terms with this truth. When I first had my surgery I couldn't stand to watch people eat because it seemed like so much food to me and it made me quesey. Now, I, too, can eat more, not as much as preop, but more than post op. So, now, more than ever, the need to really focus on what I'm doing is important. I didn't want to think of ever going on a diet again after surgery. I don't plan on dieting at this point, but the fact that I can physically eat more food scares me to the point of realizing that I will probably be able to eat even more as time continues to pass, SO, I need to pay better attention to old habits that come up and take care of them. One by one, they need to go bye bye. Sianara. Adios. etc.

Okay. I have been avoiding writting on this forum because I am embarassed. The truth is I need support. I thought I was doing so good, and I was, but I was doing it without help from others who have gone this way before. Recently, I have developed more and more fear that I haven't really changed. I want to eat more food now, I can eat more food now and I am afraid the same fear of food will come back in full force as it was before surgery. Preop, I had a lot of fear about food. I didn't trust myself either. I felt powerless. I felt defeated. I felt deperate. I had worried, prayed, planned, and read over and over through the years about how to stop overeating. I know many people use eating as a way to cope, relax, stay awake...there must be a million reasons why we eat. I felt I was just unable to stop for any length of time or permanetly. So, in final desperation...I looked into this surgery. My whole life was spent afraid of my weight and wishing I didn't have to eat at all...and I thought this surgery would end all that. For a time it has. I have lost a good amount of my excess weight. I get lots of compliments, too. But in MY HEAD are the voices I heard before surgery. I am afraid of eating myself back. I am afraid of not getting to my goal....sort of. I am afraid that once I loose the weight I will be one of those people who gains it back. I don't want to go back to that life. I know I was so unhappy. So, the sobering truth is.....it's not over. I still have to work at this emotionally, spiritually and physically. This surgery really only is a tool.......there is work to be done now and in the future. I am not a doomed failure. Thanks for reading. Thanks for posting me back if you do. I just needed to write this all out.

So, now it's February. In Louisiana it's cold one day and warm and muggy the next. I'm anxious for Spring. I have been working on this journey since August. It's been a journey. I am happy with my weight loss and the strength/endurance I have gained from exercising. I love wearing cuter clothes. I still get lots of compliments, which I also like. I have 27 pounds more till goal. As time goes by I am more and more aware that I need to keep working on lifestyle changes. You really can eat more and tolerate more as time go on. So, being responsible with your choices is a life long journey. Losing the weight is just the begining. Still, this was a good choice for me to get a great start towards the healthier person I want to be. Every person is subject to the results of how they treat their body. Some time, some day, it will catch up with you. WLS is a great tool for those who need it. I'm grateful for a husband who supported me to go that direction.

Hello everyone. It's been a month since I updated. Life is going well post WLS. I have lost 70 pounds. I am working on a training program for the first 10K. Today I ran 4 miles and I loved it!! Weight loss is slowing down this month, but as long as it keeps going, I'm happy. I have 30 more to go till I reach 100, and that should be good. Anything more after 100 pds. is gravey....low fat gravey of course. I feel better emotionally and physically. I am comfortable in my own skin....even though some of it needs to go...that's another story. :) It's been five months now. I hope to be at go by my birthday in June. Hope all of my OH friends are doing well and enjoying your new life!!

Time sure flies when you're busy. I thought I'd better update since it's been awhile. It has been about 16 weeks now...four months...since my RNY. I have lost 60 pounds and feel much thinner and happy with the results. My youngest daughter participated with me in another 5k last night. We both did much better than our first. Today I am really tired....actually, I'm tired most of the time. I continue to adjust daily and weekly to this new life. Watching how much other people can eat is a trip!! Sometimes, it just gags me. :( Happy Holidays to all of you. I'm going to try to not over extend myself and get totally worn down...hope you all have a wonderful season. Judi

So, this is my 12 week post op. I feel really good. I am still learning how to eat properly so I don't back up or overfill. It's a learning process. I still get a little upset when I can't eat as much as I used to. Yes, I do still want to EAT more than I need (at times), but I can't. When I eat too fast it hurts, too. Usually, I don't want to overeat, but when I'm really hungry, I feel like it. I have lost 50 pounds now. I am up to 2.5 miles of jogging 3x week. By the end of November I will be up to 3 miles (5k). I decided to keep jogging and work up to a 1/2 marathon for next year. It feels good to be able to do something I had always wanted to do. It still amazes me how much my eating has changed; mostly amounts. I get satisfied on so much less. Some foods don't go down well at all, so I have let go of some favorites, but it's all worth it in the end. For the first time, my husband knows exactly how much I weight, and I don't feel ashamed. I have a poster in my bathroom that I keep track of my weight on once a week, so he knows and my daughter knows. I can admit that I used to weight 262.5 and now I weight 212.5 It's a freeing experience. I've packed up a big box of clothes that are way too big. I do wear some clothes that are too big because I don't want to get rid of everything right now. I am excited about the holidays. This will be a real change; not focusing on food; eating and eating.... because I just can't and usually don't want to. I am looking forward to the new year when I plan on reaching my goal weight. I am almost half way there, now. So, for those who are just starting this process, keep going. Thanks to all of you for your support as well.

Hi all, It's been awhile since I updated. Last weekend I participated in my first 5k with my daughter. We did a combo of walking/jogging. When we crossed the finish line jogging, I was grinning from ear to ear and for quite awhile afterwards...so proud of myself!! My daughter called my "jogging" more like "trotting"....:) I told her that's what I can do now, and it will get better. I plan on particpating in my first full out 5k in December with plans to jog the whole way. I am about 5 weeks into my 9 week training. It's something I've always wanted to do and I have fond memories of jogging when I was younger...even though it was sporadic. Of course, my feet are sore and my right hip is arthritic, but I keep "jogging".

Okay, it's time to release the tension. I just read something one of my OH friends wrote and it inspired me to do the same. Thank you again, Tanya. :) Latley, I have been confused and fearful about some of the posts I read here on OH. The message that came to me was that one needs to be so very careful about everything the eat: protein grams, ounces of water, eating only three times a day, eating 5-6 times a day, eating only 2 ounces of food at a time, etc. You know, we are not all the same and this process does not revolve around absolutes. I spoke with my surgeon about this yesterday only because he called me to see how I was doing. I expressed the building anxiety I was having from reading so many posts that came across as a militant approach to post WLS life. He has never advised such a program post op for his patients. I was at first troubled by that, because I know many MD's are very adamant about protein, water, etc....down to the bite. My MD is not. He gives us a guideline of amounts to eat, what to eat, which includes permission to eat just about anything that does not make us sick, miserable or cause dumping syndrome. So, naturally, you eat less and eat better. He does highly encourage exercise. I have found that I am a much more relaxed eater when I focus on basics; nutrition, hydration in moderation, exercise in moderation and gradual behaviour modification. Also, some people loose weight much faster than others, especially if you have a higher starting weight. Comparing weight loss time tables is dangerous!!! Some people will feel like failures if they don't meet everyone elses goals, schedules and follow the same rules. I am one of those people, so this post is really to allow me to vent, refocus on MY plan and get off the scale. I have fallen into the weigh every day habit and it gets frustrating when your loss slows down. I am still so thankful for how far I've come and I am so appreciative to my family, friends and co-workers who notice the loss and tell me about it. This is a long process and I appreciate all the encouragement I receive. Love to you all. Judi