julanie
I was always overweight. No one noticed, or cared back then. Childhood obesity wasn't a hot topic. I was never skinny . . . then my parents divorced.
I'm not going to blame anyone for my weight. But I was raised in a house that you didn't leave until the plate was clean. Ever. Sleep at the table if you have to, you are going to eat it all. Even in high school, when I was out with friends, I remember being the last one with food on my plate and feeling like I had to eat it all . . . and one of my friends told me I didn't have to. We still laugh about that moment.
After my parents divorced, my mother went back to school. We lived with my grandparents, who are serious food hoarders. While my mom was away, I'd help myself to anything I wanted. Maybe it was emotional, maybe it was just a case of being a kid in a candy store. My grandmother had a basement full of food (think Depression Granny - never going to be hungry like that again is her personal quote).
I joined weight watchers with my aunt in junior high, lost a little, gained it back. I tried atkins, south beach, no fat. No good. Eventually went back to weight watchers, did better. Had a back injury and it all came back on with a few friends. I gave up.
Then my daugher got her first bike. Riding down the sidewalk, having fun, she almost went out into the street. I tried to run after her, and I couldn't. I realize just how bad it was. I stopped taking her out front unless someone else was with me. I still don't really.
Had a lapband placed in 2008, and it failed. Big time. First, the surgeon used a 14cc band, but didn't note my chart. I went for 10 months of fills, still feeling hungry, before someone noticed that it was impossible for me to eat that much and be that full. We ordered my hospital chart and found out I had a 14cc band instead of a 10cc band. I had lost 50lbs or so my starving myself. Finally filled at 10.4cc, I started to lose more until I got pregnant (YAY!) and two months later had to remove 2cc to eat and deal with morning sickness.
I went back once, had 1cc put in, and then decided to wait to do more until I was done nursing. When I went back in, I figured I was at 9.4, I only needed to get 1cc more to feel full and get going. When they checked my fluid, I was down to 7. They gave me 2 and had me come back. When I went back, I was down to 5. I had a leak.
Fat and fed up with devices that fail, diets that fail and human error, I flip flopped from sleeve to DS several times before going for DS. I can't do a sleeve and fail, then move to a DS. I won't fail again, this time is do or die.
