justfornow
I don't want to say too much about my story. It's the same as many other people's I'm sure. I was always a chubby person. My family has a tendancy to hold on to a bit of extra weight. My older sister was always slim. I was always bigger. I was mocked horribly in elementary school. I yo-yo'd my weight up and down as I was athletic, but also had injuries that put all activity to a halt.
I never managed to keep weight off, and over the years, I have slowly put weight on. When I had my second daughter, two years ago now, instead of losing the 'baby fat', I think I put even more on.
That and I've never been so out of shape in my adult life. I love exercising-walking, rinning, skiing, dancing, riding-and now I find it hard to stand on my feet too long even. I have terrible lower back issues, and my body is simply beginning to rebel from holding all of the excess.
I've always had terribly low self esteem. I have always beleived that my size determined my quality as a human being. As a result I've always made poor choices in terms of my health, my relationships, my diet, and my lifestyle. But with the addition of my daughter to my life, I feel I cannot live with those same standards anymore. I joined an eating disorder program when I was still pregnant, and I 've made huge strides towards making myself and our home a joyful highly esteemed place to exist.
I wish to continue these changes and need to make some of them more permanent.
This is one of those 'permanent' changes I will be making.
