Kari_K

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OMG: Has it really been over a year since I last posted???? Unbelievable !  Well, hello and stop for stopping by.  I have been busy over the past year.  First, let me start by saying that I have lost and kept off about 140lbs... yeah for me.  I feel great... my high blood pressure is gone, along with my diabetes & snoring (husband's grateful for that) along with all of the associated medications that went with those conditions.  I have had iron deficient anemia (which I had prior to surgery) thanks to heavier than normal periods... thanks Mother Nature .  I haven't been able to go to the gym due to this as my heart rate would go into outer space  within a few minutes due to the lack of oxygen and my resting heart rate was in the low 100s.  After working out for a meer 3 minutes, it would be 160 !  Ouch !  I finally got my primary doc to give me a referral to a hematologist.  This was after much discussion and having her talk with my surgeon.  It is so frustrating trying to educate my primary doc on the special needs of the post bariatric surgical patient.  I will be looking for a new one soon... I am tired of being the guinea pig.  Anyways, after finally going to the hematologist, she scheduled me 3 days later for an iron transfusion.  Man, talk about energy.  The next day my resting heart rate was in the 50s... amazing what a little thing called oxygen can do for you.  I put together 2 5-shelf bookcases, a 4-shelf one.. etc.. my husband said that I am like a woman possessed.  No, it is a woman who finally is not extremely exhausted due to the lack of circulating oxygen.  The people at work have actually asked me if I have been going to a tanning booth... no, I just finally have some color to my face.  The hematologist said that she has quite a few bariatric patients that get iron transfusions.  Treated it like no big deal.. you would have thought that I was asking my primary doc for her first born child.  She said that she needed my surgeon to write it in his office note from my yearly post op appt... don't understand that.  She is the gatekeeper for my HMO.  If she is in over her head in managing me, then she should be able to send me to someone who is an expert.  Weird.. I am sure that it is driven by the almighty dollar, though.  Anyway, I will start at the gym again on Friday.  I have changed from 12 hour shifts in the busy ER/trauma center where I work, to 8 hour shifts.  While it is easier on the old body only working 8 hours at a time, I am there 5 days/wk vs 3days/wk as before.  I have had some struggles in trying to keep old habits from returning and have stood in front of the cupboard looking for something to eat when I wasn't hungry... just upset.  I am so thankful for my tool that I was given.  I am still very conscious about what I eat and try to have everything be nutritious.  I will not lie and say everything has been, because I have slipped.  But, when I weigh myself and I notice that I have gone up a couple of lbs 2 wks in a row, then I start re-measuring and re-visiting my diet and see where I am messing up and correct it.  It is so funny that 2-3lbs can make a difference in how clothes fit now.  Before the surgery, i wouln't have noticed that little bit of a weight gain.  Geez, it seemed like I would have that much weight shift with just my fluid retention... LOL.  I can now do so many things that I was unable to do before.  I can play with my son, who is now 6.  I can go places confidently and know that if I am being stared at - it is a good thing (most times anyway)  And, it is amazing how differently people treat you once you lose the weight... suddenly you are visible to sales clerks, waitresses, etc.  People seem to be interested in what you have to say.  Seem to take you more seriously.  Maybe some of it is solely my perception, but I believe much of it is dead-on accurate.
     Well I hope to be more consistent in my blogging.  I have been away too long... I need this for my sanity and self assurance.  There are good days and bad, but is never centered around my weight as much of the pre - surgery seemed to be centered around or driven by my need to stay home and not having anything to wear.  Thanks for coming and visiting and be well.... K

Let me start by saying "Oh My God.. how time flies "  last time I blogged was in the summer??? how bad am I???  BAAAD, that is what makes me so gooood !! hahahaha... anyway, where to start?  In September I made contact with my birth mother's family.  Unfortunately, she is no longer alive, but her sister is, and both of her surviving husbands (ex and widower).  I drove down to Santa Barbara to meet my birth aunt and we hit it off immediately.  She said that I look alot like my mother and act alot like her... same laugh, mannerisms, tastes, etc.  Got pix and family history dating back to the civil war and beyond.. seems that I am a direct descendant of some famous historical people.. who woulda thunk it???  Anyway, also found out that depression runs big in the family.. surprise !!! But, everyone lives to be a ripe old age, unless at their own hands... I then came home and met her widower who is very sweet and obviously loved her alot... gave me alot of pix of her and some belongings... seems that according to both, she regretted giving me up.. but hindsight being what it is and all... Jacob, my youngest son, turned 5 on October 1st.  We had a great time on Halloween.. Had a great time at Thanksgiving.. great not having to worry about feeling bloated going into the holidays.. Christmas I had to work, but it was enjoyable anyway... At the beginning of Dec, I flew my oldest son and his family out here and spent 8 glorious days with him, his fiance and my grandson, who is 4mos younger than Jacob... yes, you read it right... And then I had to work New Year's Day... I have been plugging away during the month of January.. Planning on a 4night/5day trip to Las Vegas in February,, they will certainly make their money on me if I eat at the buffet... hahahahaha
     Now, onto the weight issue... I have lost a total of 130lbs !!!! WOW !!! I am currently wearing a 13/14 and it is getting baggy, but I can't get into a smaller size due to the excess skin left on my belly.  I will be taking there of that probably this coming winter (2008-2009)  It feels wonderful, I now wear a large scrub pant (flare leg) med regular and medium tops... yes the girls have gone south.. I plan to get that rectified when i have my body lift done.  I went from a DD cup to a B+/C... but I would rather have them small along with the rest of my body.  Now while it is great to look great, and I must say at the chance of soundy snobby... I do look great... the best part is that I feel great, I have alot of energy, can do anything that I want to do and ALL of my co-morbidities are resolved.  No more diabetes, high blood pressure, periods are lighter, no more sleep apnea, and the only time that I have swelling in my ankles and lower legs is when I have been neglecting my protein.  Once, I get back on track, within a couple of days, this clears up as well.  I have to have my hubby take some more recent pix so that I can load them in the computer... take care and thanks for stopping by to hear the dribblings from my head... Peace and Love... Kari

Hi all.... thanks for stopping by... coffee (water), or whatever is on... sit down and visit a spell.... I can't believe it has been almost 1 month since I last journaled on here.  I am really slacking on that. First let me start by saying that I am on a total "scale plateau".  I am at 214lb and that makes 103# total weight loss.  I have been here for about 4-6 wks.  But the odd thing is even though I have not been exercising like I should (bad girl) I am still shrinking slowly, but surely.  I went out and bought new scrubs and I am now the proud owner of no scrub pant larger than a large.  Yeah!!!.  The tops range anywhere from a medium - XL, mostly large, though... Yeah again... I have been getting beau-coup compliments about how I am still getting smaller.  No one can believe that I am over the 200lb mark.  I received the best compliment last week from a patient that I was walking back to her room.  I was charge nurse that night, which is alot like being an air traffic controller.. making sure the ER runs smoothly, keeping the flow going, being laison between mgmt, staff, doctors, etc.. sometimes being parent, confidante, boss, sister, etc.. you get the idea.  Anyway, when I do this there is an incredible amount of walking around.  Well, as I was saying, I was rooming this patient and she commented about how she had seen me everywhere and she commented about how busy that I looked.  she said, "I wish that I had your energy.  That must be how you stay so slim"  EEEEEEEk (airbrakes !!!!) I wanted to run to my purse for my camera phone and have her repeat that while I taped her on the video option of the phone.... Would that have been bad form???  Can you please repeat that and I will pay you to follow me around and repeat that to me on command... LOL... I made my year.  I swear that I was walking a little taller and I don't know if my feet touched the ground again that shift.  Everyone has been very supportive and making comments about how great I look.  I thank them and tell them that the best part is how I feel.  These are the things that I can now do...
(1) I can walk without getting sweaty or winded.
(2) I can job a little without feeling like I am going to have a heart attack.
(3) I can now find clothes in the regular section and actually have them look ok.  
(4) I can now fit into and look good in a number of outfits and, in fact, have to sort through them before going to check out as I can't afford all of them. (wow moment)
(5) Not embarrassed to go out in public, walk across the street, etc.
(6) Can go on all of the rides at the amusement parks.
(7) Can no longer wear my wedding ring (it falls off)
(8) Can wear jewelry again (smaller necklaces, bracelets, etc)
(9) Can go to work meetings, etc and sit in the school desks with the fold down desk (wow moment)
(10) Get admiring looks vs staring looks (you all know what I mean)
(11) Feel so good and healthy
(12) Finally have a short haircut and it looks good (will have to load a new pix)
(13) My high blood pressure, diabetes, sleep apnea and problems with my period (heavy flow) are a thing of the past
     So I am truly grateful daily about how far I have come and my only regret throughout this whole process is that I didn't have the surgery sooner.
     Well take care and thanks for stopping by.  Write to me and tell me how you are doing and if there is anything that I can do or help any of you with... just say the word and I will do my best... thanks... God Bless... Kari

I received a message today thanking me for blogging on my OH site.  So I thought that I would pass on that Thanks to everyone else on this site.  Because, like this person, when I am feeling down and want to go somewhere that I feel that I can be truly understood and "talk" with people who have walked the same road as I have and am, I come to this site.  Nowhere else can you come and know that you will be accepted uncondiitionally and have unconditional support.  Also where else can you go to get the real deal answers... that someone can tell you like it is and take those self-placed blinders off that you have put on yourself?  I have so much comfort, encouragement and inspiration on this site with not only the people on my "friends list" but in just browsing the site.  I thank God for the man that first started this site, I don't think he truly realizes how many people he has helped.  And thanks to everyone that helped him and continues to help him run this site.
     I love it that we can come to this site and see the inspirational stories and be inspired to go back to our lives and continue down the "healthy" path that we have chosen.  I love it that the people I write to know what it is like to feel fat, feel like the biggest & ugliest person in a crowd of people and feel like every eye is one you ... and it usually isn't in admiration.  I love that I can speak with people that know how discouraging it is to go into a clothes store and be limited to one small section of the store and have so many limited selections.  And, while it looked great on the hanger, somehow when it got on your body, it changed and didn't look like it did before.  
     I am so grateful for the following things:
1. this site and the support that everyone has given me
2. not being what I consider "fat" any longer (still pudgy, but I am finally comfortable in my own skin !!!
3. being able to walk across the room, down the hall at work, across the parking lot, etc and not be short of breath, sweating and having leg cramps.  I love being able to walk at a brisk pace and not have joint/back pain, shortness of breath, etc.
4. I love being able to chase after my 4 year old and not feel like I am going to have a heart attack right there on the spot.
5. Being able to walk up stairs and not be short of breath
6. Being able to walk into almost any store out there and be confident that if I wanted, I could walk out with as many bags of clothes as my checking account would allow... LOL
7. Being able to go out to dinner with my husband and know that the glances that I am now getting are not ones of OMG look at her... ugh.. now I think they may be WOW, look at her !
8. being able to tell who my friends are as they are still the ones who loved me when I was fat and still love me now.  And, also the ones that I wasn't even on the radar that suddenly they are paying attention to me... just one word for them... SHALLOW !!!
9. Being able to sit with my husband and talk without being self conscious.
10. Being able to comfortably make love to my husband.  
11. For the first time in our relationship, that I weigh less than my husband and his clothes are too big for me... they were always too long as he is 6'4"
12. Being healthy, off all of my medications, including my antidepressant.. just vitamins now ... thank you very much !!!
13. Having confidence in the knowledge that I am not shortening my life any longer and doing everything that I can to stick around this earth so that I can be there for my kids and husband, not just to support them, but to bug the crap out of them too.... LOL
14. Having had a job that had the insurance to pay for the surgery
15. Having had the courage to finally go through with the surgery
16. Having a family that loved me even when I didn't love myself and was doing everything short of drugs and alcohol and smoking to slowly kill myself with my self-hate
17.  Feeling happy for the first time in a very, very, very long time
18.  Feeling hopeful and....
14. Feeling for the first time that I can take a compliment without being self conscious and simply say thank you... 

     One last thing is that  I hope for myself and everyone else on this site is for the ability to remember what it felt like when we were miserable.... not only to keep us from going backwards and going back to that uncomfortably, unhealthy time in our lives... but maybe, more importantly that we can be a comfort or at least be charitable with our words and actions towards people who are still at that stage.  While remembering how miserable we all felt and be kind.  We all know there is so much unkindly behavior and spiteful behavior both in words and actions towards people that are not today's societal beautiful persona.... 
     Well, I think that I am done, but if I keep going, I am going to ramble more than I am doing now and it won't be pretty ... LOL ... so my friends, visitors, family, etc... be well, have faith and peace.....Hugs... Kari

Had some more "WOW moments" yesterday.  I was a chaperone with my son's preschool when we went to Gilroy Gardens, formerly Bonfonte Gardens.  A theme park which is geared to toddlers and smaller schoolage children and their parents.  It has gardens, flowers, grafted trees and topiaries while there are kids' rides to keep the little ones occupied.  Anyway, my WOW moments were being able to get on the kiddie rides with them and sit in the seats and have the seatbelts go around me and fasten.  I didn't feel like everyone was "staring at me"  you all know what I am talking about.  I felt if they were looking, they were simply looking, not gawking.  I was able to walk fast and jog sometimes to keep up with the kids and have fun with them and play with them.  Not a small feat when you are talking 4 year olds.  I was not sweating and uncomfortable.  It was warm, but I was not over-heated, and we all know how uncomfortable that is.  I saw many people who were where I used to be... I felt both overwhelming sadness as what they could have and feel and extreme gratefullness that I was no longer there.  I am finally starting to get comfortable in my new skin.. sagging though it may be... LOL.  I went and bought my second pair of size 15/16 pants and had them fit perfectly.  Size 14 here I come...   Well I just had to check in with my "other family" and let you know how I was doing.  I have been keeping track of "my friends" and have been proud of them all.. they are all doing great ... at least the ones that have blogged recently... hint, hint for those of you that haven't.... LOL... you know who you are.... well take care and thanks for stopping by... Kari

It was official this am.. I hit the 217lb mark !!!! That makes 100lbs gone and as long as I can say anything about it.. gone forever.  As a celebratory thing.. I went out and bought some new tops, new workout shoes and socks.  It feels soooo good to look on the L/XL racks now... I can finally bypass the "Women's/Plus size section"  Yippppeee for me !!!!!  50-60 more to go and then I will buy my motorcycle.  I am tempted to do it now and ride it for the summer, but I will withhold this reward until I truly earn it and that will be getting a minimum of another 50lbs off.  Anything worth having is worth working for... so leathers here I come !!!!! 

Well, I stepped on the scale the other day, and frankly, had to do a double take... it read 225lbs.  That is 92lbs lost !!!! 8 more lbs to the triple digit mark !!!.  I am so thankful so far.  I went clothes shopping and bought my first pair of size 16 jeans in quite a long while.  They fit great.  I am also fitting in more of the 'large sizes' vs the XL and 1X is finally too big !!!  I bought some cute PJs that are capri pants and button up shirt that is a size large.  I held them up and thought, if I don't fit into them now, then I will wait for another month.  But that night, I was able to put them on with some room to spare.  I also bought a lacy baby doll to help celebrate my 5th wedding anniversary, even though it didn't stay on too long... oooo lala !!!  And I am finally able to wear thong underwear again.  Maybe TMI, but hey if I can't say it here, where can I say it?!!
     I haven't been able to exercise like normal and feel that the slow weight loss has something to do with that.  It started out with sciatic pain shortly after receiving a massage.  After my butt cheek was done doing the rumba one night (fasciculating [spasming]) then the muscles in the back of my leg started getting tight like just prior to a full-blown charlie horse.  Just sitting here now, I can feel my hamstring muscle tightening and releasing... very weird... also my calf muscle is tight causing me to slightly limp at times due to the muscle not releasing when I go to push off with that foot.  I tried to stretch it out one night at work, only to have the muscle ask my brain, "Is she sure that she really wants to do that, cuz I will tighten up and cause some major pain in a few more stretches?"  Well, my brain screamed "Warning, warning, warning - impending charlie horse approaching - abort stretching immediately"  LOL... anyway, you get the idea.  I stopped and intermittently limped throughout the night.  I have tried eating some bananas thinking that maybe it was lack of K+ and doubled up on my calcium, but I am still waiting... so I don't know.  So that has put a damper on my walking, swimming etc.... hopefully I will be able to start again.  I hate paying for a gym membership and not use it... I thought about going and just soaking in the jacuzzi, which I still may do, or go in the steam room.  We will see if that helps... any way,. thanks for stopping by.. bye for now...

Body Part	Measurement 10/30/06	Measurement 4/13/07	Inches Lost
Neck Upper Arm - Right Upper Arm - Left  Forearm - Right Forearm - Left Wrist - Right Wrist - Left Chest - Under Arms Chest - Breast Chest - Under Breast Waist Abdomen - Lower Hips - Under Pannis Thigh - Right Upper Thigh - Left Upper Thigh - R - Above Knee Thigh - L - Above Knee Calf - Right Calf - Left Ankle - Right Ankle - Left _____________ Total Inches Lost   _____________ Weight _____________ Blouse Size T-Shirt Size Pants Size Scrub Top Size Scrub Bottom Size	16 ½ inches 16 ¼ inches (11/28/06) 16 ¼ inches (11/28/06) 12 ½ inches 12 ¼ inches 7 inches 7 inches 46 inches 53 inches 47 inches 53 inches 59 inches 53 inches 33 inches 33 inches 22 ½ inches 23 inches 20 inches 20 ½ inches 12 inches 12 ¾ inches _____________     _____________ 314 pounds _____________ 24/26 3X 24/26 or 3X 3X 3X	15 inches 16 inches 16 inches 11 1/8 inches 11 1/8 inches 6 ¾ inches 6 ½ inches 43 ½ inches 47 7/8 inches 40 ¼ inches 43 7/8 inches 47 ½ inches 44 ½ inches 27 ¼ inches 27 inches 23 inches 22 inches 18 1/8 inches 18 inches 11 inches 11 1/8 inches _____________     _____________ 234 _____________ 18/20 L / XL 18 / XL L / XL XL	1 ½ inches ¼ inch ¼ inch 1 3/8 inches 1 3/8 inches ¼ inch ½ inch 2 ½ inches 5 1/8 inches 6 ¾ inches 9 1/8 inches 11 ½ inches 8 ½ inches 5 ¾ inches 6 inches ½ inch 1 inch 1 7/8 inches 2 ½ inches 1 inch 1 5/8 inches _____________ 67 inches (5 feet, 7 inches) _____________ 80 pounds lost _____________ 6 sizes 3 sizes 6 sizes / 3 sizes 2 - 3 sizes 2 sizes

 

 

 
Well as you can see above I am half way there.  Someday, I will be able to wear a bikini too, but just around the house... LOL  I feel great, still have to do the measurements, but need help in some of the areas that I am measuring, so I will have to wait on the hub to help.  Anyway, just thought that I would check in with my little Hawaiian cutie...LOL  bye for now.....

Well, it is official.. I have a waist and a small butt... yahoo!!!!  I have to do the measurements later and compare them to my preop ones, I will let you know.  I am joining a gym later today in my area.  I feel that I can finally be seen in spandex and not make others sick.. .. LOL  I think that I will take up swimming again, as I love to do that and don't feel embarassed to be in a swimsuit now.  I have started taking my son to the park daily and running with him and getting him more active.  I heard something on the TV when I turned it on (makes you wonder about divine intervention) that said this is the first generation whose life expectancy is shorter than that of their parents.  All do to childhood obesity.  He is not obese, overweight, etc.  But, he could be more active.  He doesn't eat junk food, but I don't forbid him to have it either.  I don't want to treat it like the forbidden fruit so that when he does have the opportunity when I am not around that he would go crazy with it.  And, I certainly don't use food as a reward, nor do I allow my husband or my mother to do it.  I recently took him for his immunizations for preK and my mother asked me later that day if I had taken him out for an ice cream cone like she used to do with me after I got a shot.  I told her "no" and that I didn't want him getting in the habit of running to food for comfort or incorporating it into a reward system.  Some people would say that I am over-reacting, but I think that most of the people on this site would agree that I am not.... having lived in a fat suit for so long.  
     I finally am having to take new photos for my IDs.  The other day, the teller at the credit union was examining my photo hard and then kept looking at me.  I took a new photo at work and have to wait for the software update at HR to get it, but it will be coming next week.  The first nice picture that I have taken in years.  I asked her if there were some way that I could have a copy so that I could give it to the DMV for my license and the bank for my bank card.  She laughed ... I wasn't kidding... LOL
     Well I am determined to hit ONE-deland by 4/25 for my 6mo post op appt with Dr Sanchez.  I am very excited.  Well gotta go join that gym... take care, hugs and thanks for stopping by...