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I had my RNY on August 4, 2009 and for the most part, I am LOVING IT!!!

Notice I said "for the most part".  Unlike some blogs you will find on OH, my goal is to have one that is honest and real.  Let me start off by saying I would do this surgery again in a heartbeat, and I am not going to fail.  I didn't say "I don't want to fail"...I said "I am NOT GOING TO FAIL."  This surgery is going to help me get me the life I have always wanted, and after lots and lots of self-introspection and research on the matter, the decision to go through with it is one of the best ones I have ever made.

However, anyone who knows me in real life knows that I don't sugar coat anything and frankly, this surgery isn't all peaches and cream.  I am learning very rapidly that some parts of this surgery do indeed suck.  I think it is grossly unfair that everyday foods that most people can eat, like BBQ sauce, for example, can't be consumed.  I do feel kind of shafted that I can't ever have a milkshake from Chik-Fil-A again because it will make me deathly ill.  Eating vitamins the size of my head is a real pain in the ass, especially since I have to split them with a pill splitter to keep them from getting stuck.  And no matter how skinny I get, I still believe, and always will, that some things do taste better than thin feels.  Red velvet cake is a perfect example.

However, when I decided to have this surgery, I knew those things had to go.  And for all good things come sacrifice.  And while sacrifice SUCKS THE BIG ONE, the end result is usually well worth it.

My backstory?  I'm a fat girl.  I want be a skinnier girl.  I'm 38 and know I will never look like a model.  I have battled my weight my whole life.  I don't ever remember NOT having a weight problem.  In high school, I lost around 70 pounds using a low-fat, low calorie doctor prescribed diet with vigorous aerobic exercise 6-7 days a week.  The minute I dropped back on the exercising when I went to college, I gained 50 pounds back.  I always hung around 230-240 pounds most of my adult life, but after I had my daughter I went up to nearly 300 pounds.  Using Herbalife's weight management program, I managed to drop almost 100 pounds, but when ephedra was made illegal in 2004, I gained 40 pounds and locked myself right back in at 240 or so. 

In the past 3 years, I have fluctuated between 220 and 250, and started to seriously consider gastric bypass in early 2007 because being 5'1 and 230 pounds is not a good thing...EVER .  I have read everything on the subject (I own tons of books), spent hours scouring the internet for information on the procedure and the life-long changes after it is done, went back and forth between the LapBand and the RNY.  I met with 4 separate doctors and sat through 4 different information sessions and really battled with surgery as my last resort. 

One of my biggest questions I had for myself was "Have I really tried *EVERYTHING* to get this weight off?"  Many people on OH claim to have a food addiction.  I don't have a food addiction.  I have always eaten pretty healthy for the most part.  I mean, I have the occasional bad day or whathaveyou, where I grab McDonald's instead of coming home and grilling chicken, but that is how 90% of America lives anyway.  My issue is not the misuse and abuse of food.  My problem has always been a hatred of exercise.  I have an exercise aversion like no one can imagine.  Once I got a handle on that part of me, I knew that gastric bypass was the way to go.  It also helped that I found out I was diabetic about 2 weeks before surgery. 

I won't say I didn't waiver though.  The day of the surgery, I sat in the pre-op room telling myself I needed to get off the table and GO HOME.  I was terrified.  But before I could get up the guts to CHICKEN OUT AGAIN, they gave me some good stuff in my IV and the next thing I knew, it was over.

So, after a two and a half year journey of trying to figure out if this was the right thing for me, I went through with the surgery with Dr. Brian Boe at Barix Clinics in Langhorne, PA. and I am so so glad I did. After years of  yo-yo-ing too much and having a baby, I truly believe this procedure is the only thing I could do to really get the weight off and keep it off.  I just don't want to die too young from diabetes or a heart attack or cancer.

that's all.

4 more days.  i am scared shitless, but i keep telling myself that it will all be ok.


that's about it.

I am a smidge behind, but I am busy busy busy!

First of all, I am currently taking phenteramine and have lost almost 35 pounds since Thanksgiving.  

The other news on the "do it myself" weight loss front is that I saw an endocrinologist on March 3 and she is pretty sure that if I am not already diabetic, I am pretty insulin resistant.  I am getting the bloodwork done on Tuesday (life has been upside down with both grandfathers and my boyfriend being hospitalized in the past 6 weeks) and we'll know better after those results are in.  In the meantime, she has prescribed me some heavy duty glucophage-type med that is a brand-name and we are going to start that as soon as she sees the results of my bloodwork.

I had my meeting wtih Dr. Kirkland on Jan 28, and he was very positive about my surgery.  He answered the questions that I had, and told me that I am a solid candidate for the RnY or the lapband, whichever I prefer.  He gave me the run down on what the post-op protocol is for both, and I am now in a quandry.  I like the idea of the permanence of the RnY, but the fact that the band is less invasive is a positive too.  

I'm still trying to figure that out.

The dietician, Jim Henry, was wonderful.  He went over my food log, explained my pre-op and post-op diets to me, answered my concerns and questions, and was really positive.

I think my biggest issue now is which surgery do I want???

I don't like the idea of a port for the lap band, or the fact that they can slip.  I don't like the idea of dumping and had some birthday cake and ice cream the other day (measured out, of course, since I am a diet nazi) and all I could think was "Is this the last birthday cake and ice cream I will ever have?"  I am NOT a food addict at all....I am fat because I loathe exercise and don't burn off what I eat.   I just really THOUGHT of the permanence of "I can't ever have cake and ice cream again" and was like "WOW?  FOREVER??"

Anyhow, if that is what I have to do, I am willing to do it so I don't die before I am 50 from diabetes or a heart attack.,...but yuck.  It seems somewhat unfair on some level that I have to go without all the little joys of life, like birthday cake, because of genetics and a metabolism like CHEESE. 

I am sure I will iron this stuff out on Wedneday when I see the psychologist/psychiatrist for my pre-op eval.  And I am hitting the support group meeting one night this week too, so I will only have one other one to do.  

I have completed thus far:

Intro meeting at Penn
Meeting with Dr. Kirkland
Approval of PCP
Approval of BS
Approval of Endocrinologist
Psych Eval scheduled- Wed March 19
Support group meeting- This coming week sometime

I don't have my paperwork here with me at my boyfriend's house (he had surgery today and I am taking care of him), but if I remember correctly, I think  medically all I have left is to have my EKG and my upper GI, my pre-op meeting with the dietician, and my support group meeting at Penn.  And I have to fax the Highmark BC/BS rider to Kirkland's office.

I am hoping for a week of May 20 surgery date. 


Ok, gotta take myself to bed!  More soon, I promise!

I had my information session at Pennsylvania Hospital with the baratric surgery staff on December 5 and it was great.  The next day I set up an appointment with Dr. Kirkland for January 28.  

My only thing concern and issue I am mulling over is that he only does Open RnY and I was hoping to have the surgery laproscopically.  His scar is only about 4 inches long...but still..it is a 4 inch scar down the center of my stomach versus five or six 1/2 inch scars here and there.   Kind of a quandry.  The thing is though, I know I have a gall stone as it showed up in an MRI I had in November 06...so he is definitely going to want to remove it.

If I decide to go lapro, I will have to switch over to another doctor, and Dr. Kirkland's reputation is out of this world.  So I dunno.  I have to look into it a little further.

I also have an appointment on January 18 with an endocrinologist to discuss the hormonal issues and rule out thyroid, so those test will be run and done hopefully before I get to my appointment with Dr. Kirkland.


It's starting to happen!  I am excited!