kathpf
I was always a chubby kid, I'm a fat adult. I hate to admit I'm fat. I hate that I realize that my weight is keeping me from doing things. I find myself making excuses for not doing the things I used to. I'm 5'3", 230 lbs, I've got fibromyalgia, hpb, possible sleep apenea, artheritis, depression and stress incontinence. I've shown horses for the past 20 years and I've had to change the events I show in. I didn't want to be the fat girl on the western pleasure horse, or worse the REALLY fat girl in the english clothes. I've come to realize that food was always my friend, just not a good friend. When I was younger food was a reward for being good. I see that has followed me into my adult life. I also know that I eat for comfort, which started when I was young. I tend not to think of myself as fat and I hate that word, it's so ugly to me. I hate shopping because so many places don't have the clothes that I want to wear in my size, I wind up in tears. My husband is great and supportive and I know he'll be at my side through this journey.
