kbowman2

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Hi everyone! It's been a while but I guess we've all been off living our new lives! I just wanted to share my progress and thank you for the continued inspiration, help, support and just general love you've all given me over the years. I am two years, two months out and I've never felt better in my life. My diabetes is gone. My high blood pressure is gone. My back pain is still present but has alleviated IMMENSELY due to getting all that weight off. I just cannot thank God, my surgeon Dr. Michael Peters and the entire OH community for all the support you've given me to help me in this new life. I've been reborn into the person I always was on the inside and now that person reflects on the outside. Here's a recent pic of me. My doctor/my goal was 165 to be at a BMI of 25 but to be honest, I am sooo happy where I am. I went from a 5X shirt to a L shirt. I went from a size 34 pants to a 12/14 pants. I have a ton of excess skin that I could get removed one day but right now I'm enjoying life too much and I have a partner that loves my wrinkles no matter what so...who cares? I look good in my clothes. LOL I can go up stairs easily. I can walk easily. I can bend easily. I used to feel like a had a refrigerator on my back and that every step was this humongous effort. People...you have no idea if you haven't lost the weight yet, what this truly feels like. Any clothes I want (that cover my arms and legs) done, any booths I want to sit in, done. Anything I want I can do it, get it, have it and my weight no longer holds me back from anything. It is amazing. The diet is strict. I watch every single thing I put in my mouth. Not saying I never treat myself but most days I am a very good girl. I will NEVER let myself go back to that old me. I don't even recognize who that was. I have learned so much on this journey and I am an open book. Please feel free to ask me any questions or advice. Whatever I can do to help you achieve your goals, I'm here for you. I love my OH community and I am a life long member. God bless each and every one of you. And always remember it's just a tool. Use your tool well, it will serve you well. Abuse your tool and it will abuse you back. Love, kisses and well wishes, Kim

Hi all!
Just wanted to update you...as of today (15 months out) I finally reached onederland at 197 and that also means that I have reached a MAJOR goal of 200 pounds lost!!!!  I am speechless I made it this far.  I have 32 pounds to go for my medical goal but I'm wondering how much of that is skin (cause I have an awful lot) LOL.  Here is an older side by side pic of me at 152 pounds lost and below it is the most recent pic I have where I was down about 189 pounds.  I will post an updated side by side soon, promise!
Thank you for all of your support and outpouring of love.  I love my RNY!!!!!  I love not having diabetes or high blood pressure anymore.  I also love not being in pain all the time.  

Keep rockin your tools everyone!  It works and I'm living proof!

With love,
Kim

152 Pounds Lost Side by Side


More recent pic about a month ago and about 189 pounds lost.

Hi y'all it's been a while since I've been on here.  Why? I don't know, I just haven't come here except to record weight loss on my tracker.  Everything has been fine.  Labs are good, still counting my protien, watching my carbs and fats, etc.  I hope all of my friends on here are doing well.  I am 203 now.  Four pounds away from onederland...which I never thought I'd get to and 6 pounds away from 200 lost.  I can't even fathom that I lost this much.  I'm a size 16 now, maybe a 14 for some manufacturers.  Can't believe that either.  I'm just in awe.  I want to get to goal but now I'm starting to become afraid I'll look funny at goal without plastics.  I mean, I already look funny naked in fact, that's really been messing with my mind lately.  You can see some wrinkles in my upper arms that hangs out of t-shirts which come to the elbow.  My bermuda shorts also tell small traces of my upper thigh wrinkles.  I love the weight loss.  I love how I look in clothes but summer makes you realize that you want to wear tanks and shorts and bathing suits....I feel totally uncomfortable in all of them.  I've been asked several times by children what was wrong with my arms (and believe me, I cover as best as possible).  The more time that passes the more I want plastics but I have no way to pay for them.  I am hopin my rash stories will be enough to cover what I need but at this point I need upper arms, upper thighs, boobs and my entire stomach/butt/back.  I need a full overhaul...I know I should be happy with how far I"ve come and I am but this excess skin gives me major confidence issues that I wouldn't have without it.  I'm also getting to a point where clothes that should fit me don't because of my excess skin...any thoughts you'd like to share, I'd love.
Thanks and love to you all!  I'd love to hear from all of you.

Okay, I know to some that seems like a lot but already shedding 182 pounds, that seems like it's within reach somehow...  We shall see.  Just gotta keep working out and watching my intake. I'm feeling good though.

Hello my OH family,
You all have been so supportive throughout this journey.  Thank you so much to everyone on here.  I don't know how I would have made it without you.
I lost 30 before surgery and 145 since.  My one year anniversary is tomorrow.
I feel and look so much better.  From 397 to 222.  From 34 pants and 5X shirt to 18 (sometimes 16) pants and 2X shirts.  From having diabetes and high blood pressure to NADA.  From not being able to sit in a chair for more then five minutes and having to lay down from such severe back pain to being able to (did this today) bike 35 minutes on my stationary (8 miles), do my bowflex workout (8 exercises).  From hating life to loving it.  My only regret.......I wish I did this sooner.
God Bless All Of You....

Yup so I gave myself a good dose of shut up and do it.  Then I went on to exercise three days this past week.  Yeah, crazy, right?  I am so proud of myself for getting back up on the horse after falling off for 4 and 1/2 months.  I started with my recumbant stationary bike at 30 mins. and 8 exercises on my Bowflex.  
If I can keep this up I will be so happy with myself.  Side note, I took myself off of my anti-depressant meds.  Yeah, not good, I know but I couldn't take that Venalafaxine any more.  It was tearing up my stomach something awful.  I think I'll see how I make out in the next few weeks and if I feel I need something I'll ask my doc to put me back on Lexapro (which I took years prior to surgery and have also found a few folks on OH that take it and it doesn't bother their tummies).
Fingers crossed I am back on the road again.  I was always there in the eating department...now I had to add the exercise back in to really get the numbers moving again.
I also decided as a test to myself to not weight myself for a week.  My last weigh in was Wednesday and I was 225.  I am scared to see the number this coming Wednesday but I'm holding out.  I realize that I am building some muscle with the Bowflex so I may go up a pound or two.  I don't want to see that but I realize it may be reality.  That's okay because at least I know if I do go up it's muscle gain and not fat gain!  Additionally once I gain some more muscle it will help to burn that fat off.
Now other things on my mind...PLASTICS.  Anyone who is reading this... Did you get them?  Are you going to get them?  Details, thoughts, etc.  I know I want to wait at least a year from my lowest weight (which I hope will be 165) before I even consider taking the plunge but I am terrified.  Or am I more terrified of living with this hanging skin that won't budge for the rest of my life?  I want to wear a tank top and not feel humiliated...maybe just PS on the arms???  Who knows.

Why can't I just be one of those people who WANTS to exercise?  I was not born with this gene.  To make matters worse, when in school I was always picked last in gym, I was always last in the stupid Presidental fitness crap, I was always made fun of and I think this developed into a loathing for exercise.  I want to be healthy.  I want to lose this extra 60 pounds I have left.  I just HATE exercise.
I also hate to complain...but here I am.  I am at a moment where I either need to sh@t or get off the pot.  I can talk about how much I hate it all day.  I can find 10,000 excuses not to do it.  Why can't I just get up off my @ss and do it?  Grrrr.  I hate my scale.  It hasn't moved in sooooo long.  Gee, maybe it wants me to exercise.  Grrrr.
Okay, I'm done ranting....I'm just frustrated.

So, I made a commitment to myself, and I am continuing this commitment in the logging food and eating department...however I put my back out so my exercise went to the waist side again.  I absolutely hate working out...any ideas on how I can get off my butt???

Lately I'm hitting a wall with the number 235.  For 23 days I waited for that number to move and it did to 232 for 1 freakin day.  Got my period and bam...236.  Now, period almost gone...235.  It's been over a month at the same number.  I'm not used to this.  My minimum monthly loss since surgery was 4 pounds...not nothing.  This is so frustrating.
My partner thinks I'm not grateful enough.  She thinks I should be happy with how far I've come, count my blessings and just be happy.  What she doesn't realize is that after 1 year out from surgery you really struggle to lose weight.  I try to educate her but she just doesn't understand...as hard as she tries.  I am grateful....so grateful.  Grateful to the point of tears, relearning to relive the life I never had.  It's just that I don't want to stop.  I want to see how far I can go.  I want to see if this body that has always been heavy can really get to a normal BMI.  I want to get on the scale and see 165 and have my doctor say, yep, you are the right size for your height.  Just for one freakin time in my life.  Does anyone understand this?  If I don't push now I know it won't happen.  This is my one shot at this and if I stay this weight I know I will slowly gain back a little more ( because it seems to happen to everyone) and I will never ever reach goal.
Add to the top of this "sundae" that a "friend" tells me it's time to take out my facial piercings cause I'm starting to look "hard".  She said, I was where you were and I know what you are going through (she had bypass and facial piercings).  She says she got the piercings to draw attention away from her weight...wow, really?  That's not why I got them.  I got them to adorn my face...I like them or at least did until she opened her mouth.
Anyway, I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP DARNIT!  I HAVE COME SO FAR...165 LOST AND I'M NOT GIVING IN!  I want to see where I can go with this surgery.  I got my fat @ss up today and back on my bike.  Only 20 minutes but it's a start.  I will start working out again.  I will continue to count every single morsel that goes into my mouth and I will not be a slave to other people's comments!  I must do this for me!
GOD help me.

Yes, FINALLY!  When I begrudging got on the scale this morning I expected to see the same number I've seen for almost a month. 235.  Nearing my 10 month anniversary and only losing 6 pounds last month my hopes started to diminish a bit.  The guilt I feel isn't because I'm eating bad, not counting what goes in but because I haven't been exercising.  I am hoping to find some motivation somewhere inside of me to start again but...that later.
So, yes.  Today.  I get on the scale and finally the number moved!  232.  I was sooooo relieved.  I know stalls are normal but until you're in one again you forget how bad they SUCK.  What's funny is I think I ate more yesterday then I've eaten in weeks.  I was depressed and overate a bit.  All healthy stuff, but just more then I would normally ever eat.  I probably went over my usual 900-1200 cals by about 500 or so.  As soon as I said, screw it, I'm gonna eat tonight what I want to eat and bam...stall over.  Connection?  I have no idea.  I am still learning about this tool in my belly...
All I care is that I am over that hump!  Here's hoping more comes off so February will be a productive month in my weight loss.  And yes, I need to move this butt of mine...geez, I hate exercise....wish they had a "tool" for that.  LOL
Thanks for reading.