keyzyleek
Look who's back!
May 08, 2009
Thankfully, I have found a good surgeon who actually listens to me (see my comments under "My Surgeon") and I had my lapband removed. I am now scheduled to have the gastric bypass surgery on May 27, 2009. It seems like I have been down so many wrong paths that I am very gun-shy now. I can only pray that this path is finally the path that will lead me to where I want to be.
Right now, I need to get all my vitamins and supplements together to prepare for surgery. Thankfully I have this site and some great friends to help and support me.
Good Things Come to Those Who Wait . . .
Jul 01, 2007
Yep. My last fill did it. I am at 8ccs right now and I have lost 42lbs. Reading my prior blogs made me realize that I was wanting to wake up thin. That wasn't optimism - that was what we call "trippin". I knew getting the lap band meant slower weight loss but what I didn't realize is that it takes a few fills to get you to the point where you will start to lose weight. It wasn't until some friends on OH helped me realize this that it hit home. When I got this last fill a month ago, I could really feel the restriction. I can't glup water. I can't eat anything fast. All the things I have been teaching myself have all been challenged lately and I know now why my doctor, dietician, and OH friends were saying what they were saying. I have had to relearn how to eat but it's not bad at all. I am dealing with it well. I am exercising regularly to help tone things up and I am feeling great. I am getting compliments that are unsolicited which makes me very happy that I didn't advertise to the world that I had this surgery. Now, when people compliment me on how good I look, I know they are sincere and not just saying thing because they know I had the surgery. I have inspired my husband to get into shape and we work out together. I am loving this. I can't believe I was so down on myself earlier. I have clothes that I can't wear anymore and it feels so good. I have 90lbs to go and I am looking forward to every pound. I am sore as hell right now from all the working out I have been doing but every second of pain I feel reminds me that this is what I need to get to where I need to be. I get another fill on Tuesday but I think I may just ask for a 1/2cc fill. I could stand to still eat a little less and I am feeling hungry a lot during the day. Keeping busy at work and at home has helped me stay on track. But, if I want something sweet, salty, fried - I can have it. I just pay for it in the gym and that's the type of self accountability I was looking for. At least I can have it - freedom of choice and enjoying life. I just can't over do it.
Enough rambling - see ya in a few more pounds.
<SIGH>
May 02, 2007
I'm back and things are not going too good. I have had 6 fills so far and I am still not losing weight. I have restriction and definitely am not eating nearly as much as I used to but I am still hungry and am eating more than I thought I would.
I thought I had 8ccs in my band going into my dr appt yesterday but then Dr. Pitt aspirated my band and discovered I only had about 5ccs in there. How can that be? I have been keeping track of my fills each time I have gone in and I had me at 8ccs. So, he gave me a 2cc fill and took me up to 7ccs. I still feel like I will need to get another fill soon. It's so strange and I have to admit I am getting upset. Is this just too good to be true for me? Such is my life.
I have been exercising when I can but time is still an issue. I will keep trying and see what happens. I am sure I will get motivated again once the weightloss starts up but I honestly thought I would have lost a lot more than I have. 27 lbs isn't bad but DAMN.
Oh well. I guess we'll have to see what happens. Feeling very discouraged right now.
My Progress since Surgery . . .
Mar 15, 2007
I lost 16lb pre-op with that liquid diet. Thank GOD that is over.
I lost an additional 14lbs after surgery. They did not put any fills in my band because the stomach swelling after surgery gave me enough restriction at the time. I was able to eat very small portions. Unfortunately, the hunger slowly started to creep back. This made temptation harder to refuse and I did not follow my post-op diet like I should have. But, my dietician said that the main goal of the post-op diet was to make sure nothing I ate made me sick and NOTHING I ate made me sick. I could eat any and everything and nothing bad happened. Sometimes I feared that I messed something up but so far, I have been assurred that everything is good.
As the swelling went down, the hunger grew. I went back to eating portions about 3/4 the amount I was eating before this whole process started. Two weeks post-op, I went for my follow-up and, not trying to be full of the wrong excuses but I think my new scale was wrong, I gained weight. Dr.'s scale read 279 which was 9lbs off from my scale at home. I got a 1cc fill because it was so early into it. That did nothing at all for me. So, 2 weeks later, I gained 2lbs so I got another 3ccs. Still nothing. I got sick with a bad stomach virus for 4-5 days and after that went away, strangely enough, I started feeling restriction. I think it is because I wasn't able to eat when I was sick. So, 2 weeks after my last fill (3/13/07), I go back and find I gained another 2lbs. Talk about frustration!!!!!! So, Dr. Pitt gives me 3 more ccs to take me up to 7ccs of fluid in my band. Now, I can feel the restriction. I would say I am eating about 1/2 of what I was able to eat before this fill - which is pretty good. I think after 1 more fill, I will be in a ideal area to lose weight.
I have realized I cannot eat rice like I used to but it doesn't bother me as much. Sometimes things feel like they get stuck and it hurts for a few seconds and then passes. I am eating slower now and only taking sips of water while I eat. I haven't been able to let that go all the way yet. Everything is a learning experience.
I have started to walk everyday for at least 30 minutes and soon expect to be hitting the gym to start working on toning.
Right now, I am 2 months post-op and have lost 19lbs total. Not as much as I had hoped when I went into this but I knew it was not an overnight process. With my new fill and the next one coming, I am sure my next progress update will be more inspirational.
LORD I PRAY FOR YOUR HELP AND GUIDANCE.
Surgery was a SUCCESS!
Mar 15, 2007
Surgery went well. That patch you put behind your ear that prevents nausea and the 24-hr pain med I took before-hand really had me out of it. I was asleep before I even went into the OR. I woke up to see my gorgeous husband sitting at my bedside. I got up immediately and started doing everything they told me to do so I could get up outta there. I was home at like 3:30pm.
The main pain I felt was a really sore muscle kind of feeling in my stomach. It really only bothered me when I stood up. Once I was up, I was good. I did feel that gas pain though. I took everyone's advice and had some Gas-X strips on hand which helped a lot. I was back to work that following Monday.
In short, surgery was a piece of cake . . . .
The Night before Surgery . . .
Jan 16, 2007
I will take my pre-op photo in the morning before I go. I will like to say that even though the risks are small, there is still a chance for something to go awry. Everyone who knows me knows that my kids would be happiest with Don and that is where they should stay. I have no money or assets that would be of benefit to anyone right now so no issues there. Don you better take good care of my Sweetie Kane and treat him like my child, because that is what he is - my baby. I love everyone and have no regrets about anything whatsoever about my life. If there comes a time to decide what to do, remember, if there is a small percentage I will make it and be functional in life - give me the chance to find a way back to my kids. I will find it.
Enough of the seriousness and onward towards a happier life! See you on the losing side real soon!
2 more days to go . . .
Jan 14, 2007
I read all the supporting comments left on my surgery support page and it was such a nice surprise. It is a great feeling knowing that people on OH are so supportive of me and my well being. I can't really say the same about other people. I've been ditched for lunch, ignored, and too many other things I shouldn't say right now because I am bitter because I AM SO HUNGRY. Oh, well. I am sure I am just feeling sorry for myself. I don't think I could excpect someone to support me 100% when it mean they actually have to sacrifice too - OK, I'll stop.
2 more days. . . . Lisa - when you read this later - PLEASE be laughing and thinking that all this torchure was SO worth it in the end. Later.
This Damn Liquid Diet!
Jan 10, 2007
That's all I can think about is food. I have even started a list of things I want to taste again once I get the opportunity. I made steak, mashed potatoes/gravy and green beans for my family on day 2 and amazingly it didn't bother me to cook. BUT, as I was sitting at the table sipping on my chicken broth, I turn and look at my son who has a 1/2 plate full of mashed potatoes/gravy - his favorite. He looks and me and smiles. Takes big, heaping bits of potatoes and licks his spoon making a "this tastes so good" look on his face. I was like - OK - and I got up and grabbed sugar-free popsicle and did the same thing to him. He was like, "Aw that's not fair! Can I have one." " NOPE!" :) Oh well. It's day 4 now and my body is so tired of being hungry I don't even feel hungry anymore. I know I am SO tired of chicken broth. Just the thought of it makes me want to throw up. My girl, Lucretia, made me a basket filled with all the things I can have on my liquid diet. Included were some cans of roasted garlic chicken broth. Now, I love me some garlic so I warmed some up. OMG. There were chunks of garlic in it and it was so overpowering I couldn't get passed the 2nd sip. Hot sauce couldn't even make that taste better. Ever since then, I am done with chicken broth. I heard at a support group meeting that the broth from Ramen noodles did well for this girl. So, I tried and THANK YOU JESUS it was so good. I now feel like I just may survive these 10-days! I have lost 14 lbs so far - Dr. Pitt said it was more than they would have expected but it's OK and it will shrink my liver in preparations for surgery. I was really hoping he would say I can ditch the diet, eat a big fat greasy cheeseburger that night and just start it back up a day or two before surgery - but he didn't.
By the way, I have been telling people more willingly now and surprisingly enough - they have been supportive. I was shocked but happy at the same time. I have been having second thoughts about surgery though. This diet - boy, boy, boy - when the hunger does strike that is when I am at my weakest. That's when I starting thinking it's not going to be worth it. Then, I talk to some friends and come back to my senses and realize I am just having cold feet and am pissed over this diet. I am sure I will be much happier afterwards with no regrets.
2 weeks to go!!
Jan 04, 2007
Just had my pre-op visit with Sylvia, Dr. Pitt's nurse, and Jennifer, the dietician. I start my 10-day liquid diet on Sunday, the 7th, which is days away and I am getting anxious over that. But, it looks like I can have juices that I like and the Unjury protien samples Jennifer gave me taste pretty good - better than the Amplify and Isopure Sarah and I tried - YUCK! I am happy that I can have pudding and oatmeal after surgery during the first two weeks. I thought it was going to be all clear liquids. Sylvia went over what to expect before, during and after surgery so I feel prepared. She even gave me a little sippy cup and a baby spoon as a gift from the hospital - how sweet! What I liked is that she also gave me a "patient identification card" that I will carry with me as long as I have the band. It will notify those who need to know that I have the band (ER doctors, etc). If I show it to restaurants, it may also allow me to order off the kids' or senior's menus or weigh my food vs paying full price at buffets. I thought that was convenient.
Today I went to the admission's desk at the hospital and got my blood work, EKG and chest Xrays out of the way. Don came with me and we ate lunch together at Okii Mama - my favorite Chinese joint. I had to have it one more time before the restricted diet started. He has been very supportive of me by going with me to all my appointments. I don't think I would be as calm without him. He's my baby - aww. He said he is going to do the 10-day liquid diet with me because he thinks it will support me and help him lose some. But, I don't think the kids will like both of us being on edge due to the caloric deprivation so I have convinced him to just substitute a meal or two with a protein shake and eat a nice dinner. I know he will keep me motivated and help me exercise. Which, I have started to walk with my Sweetie Kane 30 minutes a day to help prepare me for surgery. AND! I am down to 298 as per my visit with Sylvia so I am already on my way!! :)
Enough for now, I will check back in after my visit with Dr. Pitt on Jan 9th. 2 weeks to go!!
Poem
Dec 29, 2006
Here is a poem that I wrote for Sarah just after we were both approved for surgery. I am a little proud of myself for how well it turned out and thought I would add it to my profile so it can be apart of my story. For those who read it, I also think it will apply to all us as we support one another during our journey.
It's been a hard, long road for both of us
The stares, the comments . . . makes you wanna cuss.
Being uncomfortable and feeling so blah
We would do our best to keep up with all the hooplah.
God saw the common thread and brought us together
So we can be friends and support each other forever.
We did our research and came up with a plan
Even though some things took more coaxing and holding of hands.
We paid the money and attended the meetings
Expecting to have results come the end of Season's Greetings.
We fill out our journals and walked our hearts away
Well OK you did the walking but who's counting anyway?
Again, God smiled upon us and found a new way
Insurance moved up the date but that's OK
We met all the requirements and filled out the papers
We were approved in 2 weeks without any capers.
Even though we originally wanted to take the same route
Unfortunately we had to change the way things will work out.
We understand we are different from our head to our toes
But our hearts are the same and so are our goals.
So now our dates are set and our hopes are high
That finally our time has come to see less of our thighs.
Not only our thighs but also our butts
And do I even need to mention our guts?
When I look to the future and think of some words
To help me describe the feelings we deserve,
I think of happiness, health, and higher self esteem,
And courage to do things we've only done in a dream.
I thank God for this chance to live life to it's fullest
Sure we are thankful for our kids but this miracle's the newest.
Our old lives are ending and soon our new life begins
But I can't think of anyone else I would share it with, my friend.
Love,
Lisa
