The Scales

Jan 15, 2010

There is a definite relationship that we all have with food. We love it. We abuse it. We crave it. We abhor it (think about the first time you had a food that got stuck or caused you to dump after surgery - did you say "I'll never eat xyz again!!"). Regardless of your relatationship status with food at the current moment - you're fully involved. Why?? Because you have to eat to stay alive.

Well what about your scales? Mine are a fairly simple digital set that I paid about $40 for a the local Kmart. They have been "the" major indicator of my success along this journey. But why? My measuring tape shows remarkable progress as well. But the tape doesn't move as rapidly. Isn't it amazing how we've become so conditioned to wanting (read as demanding) instant results.

When my scales stopped moving last year (really late spring or early summer) I figured it was just the normal plateau and nothing to really worry about. Sure I moaned about it but I really didn't do anything about it. I realize now that it was probably the point in my journey where the honeymoon phase was coming to a close and that I would be responsible for working the tool and my knowledge. I also realize that during that honeymoon I had relied almost entirely on the surgery to do the work for me. Where would I be if I had worked with my tool? A teamwork approach so to speak rather than reying 100% on the surgery.

Just before Christmas I noticed that I wasn't weighing in as "obsessively" as I once had. I had made it a point to weigh in every Friday morning. I logged in on my OH Blog under the August 2008 heading. It was a weekly progress. I was very proud of it. But once the scale quit moving - I felt embarrassed and frustrated. If the scale wasn't going to move so I could note my "success" why bother? I became complacent. I accepted this as my body wanting to be where it was at. DUH'!?!? Once again I was setting myself up to not finish what I had started.

January is always a good time for goal setting. I decided not to focus as much on goal setting for future goals as much as examining previous unmet goals and committing to finish and fulfill those. It has been a true eye opener. I realize that while I have set some very reaisitc and attainable goals - I stop before I complete them. Often it's once those goals are in sight. Apparently I like the process of setting the goals and "settle" for just knowing that I could finish them.

So what does all of this have to do with my scales? They're a part of one of my biggest unmet "goals". Since I have a  goal weight in mind I need them to measure my progress and not my success. They're just a part of the plan - they are not the entire gauge. I'd gotten that confused in the past 6 months. Once I dusted them off and put them where I wanted them to be - they're become like more of a piece of the puzzle (equal to a piece of exercise equipment) and less of a shrine.

It's complicated. But what relationship isn't? Compared to how they read 2 years ago - I LOVE THEM!! Compare them using the info that they showed a weight gain over the Holidays - I LOATHE THEM!! It's all good though because they're a great reminder that I'm alive and well and in a deeply committed relationship with life.

- Iris

 

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