kims2mnz

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Well finally my husband has settled down. Its a good thing I understand him and love him. Men are like children sometimes. Well actually people are like children I know I have been childish before also. Anyway, I went to see the Doctor, nut and exercise specialist on Thursday and they all agreed with on thing I need to exercise. Start walking so my new goal is to start walking. I am doing great they all agreed but will be doing better in the long run if i start walking. They asked what type exercise I have been doing I said painting my home. no not good enough. I don't completely understand the painting makes my heart race and makes me sweat so I think it is a form of exercise. Anyway, I feel fabulous. Energetic and I want to complete everything all at once. I hope this feeling doesn't go away. I have gotten so much done and have so much to do. I am down to 235 and am totally pumped for my new life.

I made it thru surgery and believe me I was scared.  The night before my husband was so irate with me and had me in tears I truly hoped I would be OK. Then the morning of he was still made and angry. I was so happy when they called my name so I could get away from his negativity . I began to cry the nurse thought I was crying out of fear of the surgery I couldn't tell her no it was because my husband was being heartless and cruel. I don't even remember why he was fighting with me. Then I met a nice nurse Karen. She helped me calm down until it was time for my shot. In which my i v was stuck in me.  Next came all the Dr and residents that where going to be there introducing themselves. I remember asking for some thing to calm me down because I was getting so nervous. I almost took my I v out and left. so the gave me something. I felt like my skeleton wanted to leave my body. . After they gave me something to calm me down I got to give my family some hugs and kisses. My husband didn't come it thankfully.  I soon woke up and think I was in my room I found My morphine pump and pushed it ans was out again . In and out all day.  Well I got to come home on Wednesday and went lay on the couch well actually set up in the recliner.

            well today my husband is at it again because he is sick he is being totally mean and cruel. I think this is getting very tiresome. I still feel like my bones are going to leave my body because of all the stress.But God willing after I can drive I will feel better.

            
                                              These are the reasons I keep going. All I do is for them. My oldest daughter is outgoing and I think she is going to be a Journalist or talk show host. She never meets a stranger. The youngest is very into books and learning she I believe will be an artist. 
                                     Anyway this journey is not about them completely. It is about me. I have as many of us have been heavy forever. I had a lap band surgery Dec 28Th 2005 and I thought it was the best thing since chocolate was invented. I went from 289 lbs to 155 lbs. I was so happy.  Yet I have had a very stressful last 7 years and my body inside I guess tightens up when I get stressed. Who knew? My band kept getting to tight, so i would purge and this would inflame the band and it got so tight to the point that I couldn't eat , and barely could keep water down even with all the fluid was gone. I was down for 5 weeks. It slipped Feb 9 2008. I wanted to give up. I felt like I lost my best friend. No one understood this so I felt very Isolated. People just kept telling me eat like when you had the lap band. Yeah right. Your tummy goes back to the same insane hunger as before.  Well it is December 18 and I now weigh 250 lbs. I have lost 15 since my pre op liquid diet. so I gained 115 lbs in less them 1 year.  My surgery date is Dec 22ND and I truly cannot wait. I am very nervous about altering my body inside but I have to. I am confident about my Dr.s ability to preform  surgery. Now God willing I will come out OK and start my journey over.  I wish you all well on your journeys and hope to be on the losers bench once again.