Kristy A.

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gtube came out today. no big deal at all.  it felt weird, but it was quick and didn't hurt at all.  now i feel weird having a hole in my belly though.  :P

i'm down 25lbs and my clothes are starting to fit funny.  i haven't been able to walk lately because of my crazy schedul at school, but i'm hoping to get back into the swing of things next week. 

So I'm on the mushy food diet for real now.  Today for lunch I had an ounce of rotisserie chicken deli meat and an ounce  of soft cheese, and i was full.  ridiculous.  i think it's awesome.  it was weird sitting down to eat with my friend who'd brought chicken and rice from home, and i looked at her container and thought, holy crap, that's a lot of food.  and i had to remind myself that not too long ago i would've ate the same amount.

i've been trying to remain focused on eating protein first, but with mushy food diet, it's a little difficult.  fish isn't my fav and it hard to eat if it is a little fishy tasting.  so i've been eating a lot of eggs.  one at a time of course.  i am afraid that i'm eating too fast.  it takes me about 25 min to eat one egg, and I read somewhere that it was taking someone else 45 min to eat one egg.  

i also finally get my gtube taken out next week.  i can't wait.  i was on campus for school yesterday, and the cap to my tube popped out and my stomach bile (i guess) came spilling out all over my clothes.  it smelled awful, and it looked like i had peed myself.  thank goodness i had my workout clothes in my car to change into.  but it's just another example of how old this thing is.  if anyone's had a gtube and you know how taking it out goes, please let me know b/c i don't remember. 

I had fish for dinner last night.  I'm not technically supposed to be switching to mushy foods until Wednesday, but Lord am I tired of chicken broth.  I started slow with some mashed potatoes a few days ago, and I had tilapia last night, which falls apart easily.  I'm not a big fish eater, mostly because I hate that "fishy" taste, but it was a nice change.  What amazed me was how little I ate.  And those tiny bites!!  I will have to get used to this.  I miss taking huge bites and eating tons of food.  But this will be better and I will get used to it.  What was funny is that my husband did the cooking, and when I went into the kitchen to help out, he had four tilapia filets out.  When I asked if he was that hungry, he's like nope, 2 for you and 2 for me (keep in mind my husband is a whopping 155lbs).  I laughed and told him that I doubted I would finish half of one let alone 2.  I ended up being right.  I ate less than half of one filet.  It's a new process, this eating thing.  Tiny bites, chew chew chew, wait, and start again.  And I'm really having to pay attention to my body and it saying that it's full.  The good thing is that once I've realized I'm full, it hasn't been a big deal to put the food down.  I'm going to try a scrambled egg for breakfast today.  I hope that goes well.  I need to go grocery shopping to get some food in the house.  Bananas, deli meat, fish, oh my! 

 I'm one week away from being able to eat soft foods, and I feel miserable.  I'm hungry!!  I want some mashed potatoes.  Just something really soft.  I think I'mgoing to take a chance tonight with this one b/c I don't know if I can take another bowl of chicken broth.  I've been having quite a bit of pain now that I'm back in school.  Sitting in chairs doesn't allow me much room to adjust tthe way I'm sitting.

I hit the 20llb mark last night and was really excited to have lost that much in3 weeks, but I woke up this morning having gained 3 lbs in my sleep.  Weird.  I also didn't walked today.  I was really crampy after sitting in chairs for 4 hours.

I know that this will all get better.  I don't want to whine too much b/c I am very grateful to have been able to get this surgery.  I can feel myself being more concious of my diet (or my future diet rather),  and the amount of exercise I'm getting.  And I am NOT craving anything sweet, which is so awesome b/c sweets made up 50% of my diet prior to surgery.  I just have to keep these things in mind while dealing with the harder stuff.

Nothing exciting to report.  I'm still walking about a 1.5 miles.  I'm going to shoot for 6 days a week with a break on Saturdays.  I've just got to find a good schedule for this because I just started back as a full-time student and my schedule is hectic right now.  

I've lost 16lbs at this point, so I'm very happy about that.  AND I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with this full liquid diet.  Eggs, fish, potatoes, etc starting next Wednesday!!  I can actually go to the grocery store this weekend and buy something other than applesauce and chicken broth.  :)

I also get my g-tube removed in 2 weeks, so the next few weeks bring a lot of positive changes.  Whenever my mom gets back from her trip I'm hoping to take up some fun aerobics classes with her to change up the workout routine.  She can get pushy, though, so I have to avoid walking with her.  She'll want to walk 5 miles at once, and I'm just now getting ok with pushing myself up to 2 miles at a time. 

in a topic that might be unrelated, i've been having serious lower back pain the past two days.  i only bring it up b/c my back pain makes me want to lean forward to stretch it out, but my gtube pain makes me want to lean back to take the pressure off.  it's a dilemma.

It's 5 am and I was rudely awaken by my dogs about 45 minutes ago.  After calming them down, I realized I was all wet.  Turns out, the blue cap in my g-tube had come out during the night.  As wet as I was, it must have been out for quite some time, an hour or two.  So  flushed the tube with some water and recapped it.  As soon as I layed back down, the cap popped out again and I got soaked.  When I held the tube over the sink, 2 small clots of blood came out.  I haven't seen blood in myb tube since the first day after surgery.  Worried as I am, I flush, recap, lay back down, and it happens again.  So now I'm wide awake, sitting up, and worried.  I know it's probably nothing, but I really haven't seen any blood in my tube in weeks, so now I'm going to have to stay awake until the doctor's office opens at 8:30.  Just keeping my fingers crossed. 

I walked about 1.25 miles today with my  best friend.  It hurt, but she was talking the whole time so it wasn't too bad.  I'm glad I did it.  I don't want to just sit around and wait to lose weight.  I want to help it along.  I couldn't talk very well while walking, so I know we were keeping up a good pace, for me anyway.  My friend had no trouble talking.  :)  I think I'll add another lap to the walk tomorrow.  

I also called Dr. Juwad's office.  They said that the pain I'm in is normal since I have scar tissue forming, and the balloon on my g-tube will sometimes bump things, so they just refilled my lortab and informed me that I can crush up tylenol so that I can dull the pain and still be able to drive.

I feel pretty good today.  I'm still having a hard time getting in all of my liquids and protein.  I need to make a more concious effort to do so. 

I'm am officially two weeks out from surgery.  For the most part, I'm doing great.  I'm pretty much resigned to my diet.  I still miss regular food, but I can't eat any of it.  I've cheated a little bit.  My hubs made some amazing crusted fish the other day, so I chewed a piece and spit it out.  I just wanted to get the flavor of it.  I don't even like fish.  I think since I'm being denied my favorite foods, that I'm opening up to new possibilities.  The good thing is that I'm even excited about eating health food.  So I guess this current diet is a good thing.  I still can't wait to eat eggs in two weeks, though.

I am trying to get in touch with Dr. Juwad's office today, though.  The site of g-tube has been bothering me for days.  As long as I'm sitting, I'm ok, but once I stand up or lay down, it hurts.  When I stand up, I feel like I can't stand up straight because I'm stretching it out, and it pulls.  It's a weird pain.  When I lay down, I can't get a deep breathe in because when I try, it feels like something is pushing on my lungs.  Ugh.  The worst part is that today marks the day that my prescription for Lortab runs out.  

On one hand, it occurs to me that for two weeks I've been taking Lortab every 3-4 hours almost like clockwork.  That can't be good for my body.  On the other hand, I went 6 hours without taking any on Monday b/c I was out and about, and when I got home, my side was killing me.  So hopefully the doctor's office will call me back soon and tell me something that will be like a revelation.

 well it's been an uneventful week.  my gtube is bothering my quite a bit.  it's not really that bad having it.  i've gotten used to, the pain/discomfort is the only frustrating part.  plus, i will be out of pain meds in a day or two.  and i highly doubt they will refill me.  :(

i went to a restaurant for the first time since surgery tonight thinking i could order some soup and be good to go, but it  was more difficult than i thought it would be watching other people eat my fav. foods.    it's frustrating.  i realizee that i will have to learn to control my cravings even when i can eat regular foods,  but at least i will feel satisfied b/c lord knows there's a difference between full and satisfied.  

i can't wait to eat eggs and fish, that's for sure.

I woke up today feeling pretty good.  I'm finally sleeping through the night without having any crazt lortab dreams.  due to some work related thigns for my husband, we got last minute notice that people would be coming to visit our home this afternoon who had never been here, and I felt good enough to actually clean up!  The house looks great, and I feel bteter.  The hubs even helped clean!  Today is also the first day since surgery that I put makeup on and did something besides pull my hair back in a pony tail.  :)  Granted, I didn't do my whole thing b/c after cleaning the whole house, I think I really would've been worn out, but it's a step.  I'm still hungry, and not enjoying my diet.  I wish I could just wipe that out of my mind completely.