Disappearing Diva

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WOW...I had no idea what an emotional rollercoaster ride I was in for.  I mean, I knew I would be in some pain, however I had no idea how intense the pain was.  I had the surgery 11 days ago.  At first I was a disaster.  I couldn't stop crying and I kept saying that I regret the surgery even though I knew the pain would not last forever.  Now, down 25lbs I am of course NOT regretting the surgery. I had to tell myself that I did this for a reason and although I am having mixed emotions right now, I know deep down inside that I needed the surgery in order to live a healthy, happy, and more prosperous life.   

Thank God for the surgery because I now eat to live, not live to eat!

In about 10 hours I will be at the hospital and ready for surgery.  I am sooo scared, but I have a lot of support to keep me from freaking out.  Wish me luck!!

The surgery is Monday.  I went for my pre-op class this past Thursday and was told I gained too much weight and I need to be on a liquid diest until my suregry.  It is so hard.  I am so scared I may have to push the surgery back or they may have to do the surgery OPEN.  I am just freaked out bad.  Everyone keeps telling me I will be ok, but I just can't seem to get past my anxiety. 

I just realized I am 5 days away from surgery.  I have my pre-admission testing on Thiursday at 10:30am and pre-op class at 2:30pm.  WOW am I nervous.  I have nbever had surgery before and I am really scared.  I am trying to think posityive but my anxiety has taken over.  Hopefully everything goes well.

So tomorrow is my best friend's surgery.  She has to be at the hospital at 7:00am...Unfortunately I can't be there with her, however I will be there as soon as I get out of work.  I am nervous for her and for myself.  Now that her surgery day has come, mine is just around the corner... exactly one month and three days until I go in.  Wow, this is starting to feel like a dream...I almost can't believe it!!!  Well I am off to bed to dream about how much my life is going to change.

I finally scheduled my surgery date...February 18, 2008...YAY!!!! I am excited and scared...I have never had sugery before, so you can probably imagine how scared I am.  I'm sure I will be fine and I have the support of my family and friends which makes things a bit easier.