luperion
All the unknowns...
Jan 31, 2010
Well i joined here a few weeks ago, and really haven't had anything to post, but i think i should get into the habit here now. I have insurance through CareSource, and I'm told that they will cover it all for a lap band, i went to the first seminar, and did all the paperwork they wanted, now I'm told that i need to do a mandatory 9 month diet before they will cover the surgery. In alto of ways, I understand this, but 9 months seems so long. (ask any pregnant woman, lol) Its like i spent allot of time thinking of doing this, an working it out mentally, and when i finally say OK, i can do this, I'm told, nope, wait over half a year, and we'll see. bummer.
I have an appointment next week with my endocrinologist to see about the diet plan, and set up weigh ins. my problem isn't so much the food anymore, i have been diabetic for a long time now and understand the diet, its the excessive that gets me. I'm a whopping 460 lbs, we think, the scales only accurate to 400. if i stand for more than 1-2 minutes, my lower back seizes up, like a bag of concrete hardening, and the pain takes my breath away, it then travels to my hip, and down my thigh. I know there are many great things i can do from just sitting, but i don't know them, i hope i can reach someone with this and they can point me in the right direction. no matter how little i eat, the calories wont burn off if i just sit. **sigh**
I wonder how much I'm in denial? How much do I delude myself and those around me? I hate the life of seclusion I lead. I go grocery shopping once a month, to the docs, and the church. that's it. other than that I'm home, home, home. I have no vehicle, no job, trying to get ssi, live in government housing, and have a loving and awesome wife and 3 kids. what sort of role model do i set for them?..............I need help. I hope this is it. i wasn't like this always. 15 years ago, i was a muscular 185, rock climbed, hiked, did all the rugged outdoorsy stuff. now, I'm out of breath getting out of a chair. well, this wasn't supposed to be a "poor me" post, UT i needed to say it , for me to read, if no one else. thanks!
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I have an appointment next week with my endocrinologist to see about the diet plan, and set up weigh ins. my problem isn't so much the food anymore, i have been diabetic for a long time now and understand the diet, its the excessive that gets me. I'm a whopping 460 lbs, we think, the scales only accurate to 400. if i stand for more than 1-2 minutes, my lower back seizes up, like a bag of concrete hardening, and the pain takes my breath away, it then travels to my hip, and down my thigh. I know there are many great things i can do from just sitting, but i don't know them, i hope i can reach someone with this and they can point me in the right direction. no matter how little i eat, the calories wont burn off if i just sit. **sigh**
I wonder how much I'm in denial? How much do I delude myself and those around me? I hate the life of seclusion I lead. I go grocery shopping once a month, to the docs, and the church. that's it. other than that I'm home, home, home. I have no vehicle, no job, trying to get ssi, live in government housing, and have a loving and awesome wife and 3 kids. what sort of role model do i set for them?..............I need help. I hope this is it. i wasn't like this always. 15 years ago, i was a muscular 185, rock climbed, hiked, did all the rugged outdoorsy stuff. now, I'm out of breath getting out of a chair. well, this wasn't supposed to be a "poor me" post, UT i needed to say it , for me to read, if no one else. thanks!
