magicbluefairy

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I posted this on the two forums I post on (Ontario and DS) and I sort of got "told".... this made me feel terrible, so I deleted it quickly, but then someone asked what they had missed... so here it is... don't get offended... you were the one who came here to find this!!

"Shit List". Enjoy!
> >
> > Ghost Poop = You know you've pooped. There's poop on the toilet paper, but no poop in the bowl.
> >
> >Teflon Coated Poop = Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of poop on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it!
> >
> >Gooey Poop = This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your butt 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This poop leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
> >
> >Second Thought Poop = You're all done wiping your butt and you're about to stand up when you realize it...you've got some more.
> >
> >Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poop = This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
> >
> >Bali Belly Poop = You poop so much you lose 5 kilos.
> >
> >Right Now Poop = You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.
> >
> >King Kong or Commode Choker Poop = This poop is so big that you know it wont go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of poop usually happens at someone else's house.
> >
Wet Cheeks Poop = This poop hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your butt wet.
> >
> >Wish Poop = You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poop!
> >
> >Cement Block or Oh God Poop = You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.
> >
> >Snake Poop = This poop is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.
> >
> >Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) = Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This poop usually
happens at someone else's house.
> >
> >Mexican Food Poop (also called Screamers) = You'll know it's alright to eat again when your butthole stops burning.
> >
> >Beer Drunk Poop = This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poop doesn't smell too bad, but this poop is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of poop also usually happens at someone else's house.
> >
> >The Frightened Turtle = The kind of poop that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in.
> >
> >The Bungee Poop = The kind of poop that just hangs off your butt before it falls into the water.
> >
> >The Ring of Fire Poop = The kind of poop where you eat really spicy food and your butthole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.
> >
> >The Crippler = The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.
> >
> >The Big Bobber = The kind of poop that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.
> >
> >The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang = The kind of poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.
> >
> >The Incredible Hulk Poop = The king of poop that sits in the toilet
> >overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.
> >
> >Jack the Ripper Poop = The kind of poop that yanks out your butthair as it pushes its way out.
> >
> >The Party Pooper = The giant poop you take at a party. And when you flush he toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.
> >
> >The Toxic Gas Poop = The kind of poop that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.
> >
> >Dirty Bowl Poop = The kind of poop that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and
splatters all over the toilet bowl.
> >
> >The Windy City Poop = When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a poop.

"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them,  at least don't hurt them."

                                                             ~Dalai Lama

I am feeling a little sad. I know that this is a public forum, and it is not designed as a place to make deep and meaningful friendships, but at times, I feel like people here dislike me. My threads often don't get many responses, and when I post on someone else's thread, my comments get skipped over. Sure doesn't make a girl feel very good about herself. 

Let me share something. It is something that I am pretty open about - but only when people ask me questions. I suffer from mental illness - and yes, the word "suffer" is appropriate. I do not enjoy one second of this. I actually have a few diagnoses attached to my name and they all pretty much interfere with my ability to relate to people properly. I also take a lot of psychiatric medication, and impaired memory is a side effect, so it is common for me to say and do things that I don't remember a day later. I've been in therapy for about 4 and a half years and I've been hospitalized four times in the last two years. I also tried a day hospital program, but I was not a good match for it, and I dropped out three weeks into it.

So should I be sorry? I'm not sure. I mean, I am just being myself. I realize that I can be outspoken and negative, but when I get fired up about something, I don't let go easily. I try very hard to offer positive comments and support and while I understand that I am strange, I do not think I am mean. 

I have realized too, that nobody seems to request MY friendship - I'm always doing the asking. Does this say something bad about me? When people see my profile or even just my avatar, does something turn people off? 

Maybe I am just having a pity party. Like I said, I know that OH wasn't really meant for fostering close, personal friendships. Of course it is nice when it happens, but I certainly didn't join for that reason. And maybe the fact that I am not having surgery right now is part of it. 

I will state right here and now, that if I offend someone, or say something that is strange or bothersome, please PM me, and tell me. Because chances are, I had no clue what I was doing or saying. And even if you don't PM me, know that my mind works in bizzare ways. I take full responsibility for my actions and words, but I can't always control them.

So, with that, I leave this first blog post... I hope that people reading this will understand that I truly mean no harm, and I am really looking to make friends here. 

~♥~