mamamc
Update
May 07, 2006
may 8 06
Been really blue so haven't done any up dating hate to sound depressed and when I'm doing ok,don't have the time....
Its been a month or so since I've been on and wow whata change..
I've lost more wt but really don't care one way or the other My mental stuff is what I'm really worried about....
I applied for disability
selling my house, my house is a mess have so much jusnk to get rid of.... old old memory stuff I jsut hang on to, where ever I go I'm pretty sure won't have the room...
Tooooo tired to have a yard sale.. son won't do it or help so its just money down the drain... I want to just stay in bed and sleep roll over and sleep my back pain makes me soooo tired...And now the depression has taken a good hold of my life... I feel like I'm just on cruise control....
I'm down in the wt department but I don't even care... just means more clothes to sort through and throw away... I have yet to figure out the new stuff to find the new fourms... saw it was new to tired to think... I'm going to bed if I can sleep some now I know I'll feel better fresh new start to a new day right blessings to all..
Wendy
worried about whats going to happen next....
Been really blue so haven't done any up dating hate to sound depressed and when I'm doing ok,don't have the time....
Its been a month or so since I've been on and wow whata change..
I've lost more wt but really don't care one way or the other My mental stuff is what I'm really worried about....
I applied for disability
selling my house, my house is a mess have so much jusnk to get rid of.... old old memory stuff I jsut hang on to, where ever I go I'm pretty sure won't have the room...
Tooooo tired to have a yard sale.. son won't do it or help so its just money down the drain... I want to just stay in bed and sleep roll over and sleep my back pain makes me soooo tired...And now the depression has taken a good hold of my life... I feel like I'm just on cruise control....
I'm down in the wt department but I don't even care... just means more clothes to sort through and throw away... I have yet to figure out the new stuff to find the new fourms... saw it was new to tired to think... I'm going to bed if I can sleep some now I know I'll feel better fresh new start to a new day right blessings to all..
Wendy
worried about whats going to happen next....
Update
Feb 16, 2006
2-17-06
wow its been qyite a while I've been working and been really tired buts thats normal with my kind a job the physical job can get you tired...my lower back is doing great and my arms are ok while I'm standing isn't that weird when I'm laying down they go numb..need to stay at work for a whole month or I'll lose my insurance...so I just keep taking the pain pills and rest as much as I can... working second shift has really been great I can sllep as much as I need too.. Eating has been going great I haven't lost any more wt but I'm just worried about staying healthy... wish everyone who reads the the best ..
wow its been qyite a while I've been working and been really tired buts thats normal with my kind a job the physical job can get you tired...my lower back is doing great and my arms are ok while I'm standing isn't that weird when I'm laying down they go numb..need to stay at work for a whole month or I'll lose my insurance...so I just keep taking the pain pills and rest as much as I can... working second shift has really been great I can sllep as much as I need too.. Eating has been going great I haven't lost any more wt but I'm just worried about staying healthy... wish everyone who reads the the best ..
Update
Jan 20, 2006
1-21-06
UP DATE my daughter just walked in the house she lives in Okanawa havent seen her in 2 yrs she just walked in I thought it was my son Jonathan...I couldn't speak..after I got my voice back I called my son and told him he needed to get home NOW..He was worried but came home when He walked in the house I ordered him to his room he said why I just said get in there..Amanda jumped out at him.. bless his heart he almost wet his pants...I had put the car she was driving at the neightbors... Then we went to surprise their daddy he was asleep so it took a while Jonathan acted like he was drunk and Amanda popped out at him..when he came out side to check on him. My daughter and I had a few ups and down conversations ones this week I think having to do with jealously.. My son does get more than she did..and is able to do more.. But I won't go into all that..
My guts are still giving me fits I get so excited I can eat meat its been yrs.. I don't even try pot or rice I lived on them for 4 yrs.. I drink a profect ever day... and I go to the gym everyday sometimes 2 times ...I getting used to the pain Its not really going away...But my goal is to get back to work as of Jan 19 I can do 8 lbs over head 20 times Its got to be ten..So I'm very tossed as to go this coming week or not..Do I take the chance of hurting my back?? Also I do have the problem of not being able to get off the line to go to the bathroom when I want... So eating is going to be very tricky..I work second shift... I heard we are short on workers which means over work and more underpay...Gotta have chickens..
Made the discission I'm going to work.. So gotta get all my junk togethter quick we have to wear so much junk I don't think anyof you would believe it....Wish me luck
UP DATE my daughter just walked in the house she lives in Okanawa havent seen her in 2 yrs she just walked in I thought it was my son Jonathan...I couldn't speak..after I got my voice back I called my son and told him he needed to get home NOW..He was worried but came home when He walked in the house I ordered him to his room he said why I just said get in there..Amanda jumped out at him.. bless his heart he almost wet his pants...I had put the car she was driving at the neightbors... Then we went to surprise their daddy he was asleep so it took a while Jonathan acted like he was drunk and Amanda popped out at him..when he came out side to check on him. My daughter and I had a few ups and down conversations ones this week I think having to do with jealously.. My son does get more than she did..and is able to do more.. But I won't go into all that..
My guts are still giving me fits I get so excited I can eat meat its been yrs.. I don't even try pot or rice I lived on them for 4 yrs.. I drink a profect ever day... and I go to the gym everyday sometimes 2 times ...I getting used to the pain Its not really going away...But my goal is to get back to work as of Jan 19 I can do 8 lbs over head 20 times Its got to be ten..So I'm very tossed as to go this coming week or not..Do I take the chance of hurting my back?? Also I do have the problem of not being able to get off the line to go to the bathroom when I want... So eating is going to be very tricky..I work second shift... I heard we are short on workers which means over work and more underpay...Gotta have chickens..
Made the discission I'm going to work.. So gotta get all my junk togethter quick we have to wear so much junk I don't think anyof you would believe it....Wish me luck
Another trip to the Dr.
Dec 29, 2005
I've been going early morning and late afternoon to the exersice I can barely do 5 lbs over my head only 5 times which means I can't go back to work I lift chickens off the line one handed 4-10 lb chickens average of 300 a day but can be up to 700 so I called the doctor after going in the morning to exersice. He gave me off 1 more day I have to see him monday..It really upsets me I have to pay 35 dollars everytime I see him and now all he will do is talk to me and hopefully extend my off time till I get to the hold the proper wt hold over my head..This is 35 dollars I could be using to buy groceries.. ughhhhhhhhhhhh
back to work for me
Dec 29, 2005
12-30-05 I have a date set to go back to work this friday I'm really happy I have tried to get on the machines at the exersice place. My arms are shakey but maybe in 5 days that will be gone and I will build the strength...
Christmas is coming
Dec 16, 2005
12-17-05 Several days before Christmas haven't put up my tree.That really makes me sad its my memories..I have ornaments for every yr since 1973. I have things about the ornaments I can't remember but I have them written down, they are all glass mostly crystal oranments, Everyone every yr got one..including the pets... I was crying and my son saw me he got so upset he and the BF put up the tree.. Then we each took out our ornament put them on the tree and after ours were up took turns putting up the ones from the past...I was so happy..
Since I'm out of work it was a light Christmas..We son, BF, myself each got a few gifts..I got chair for my computor..(which is my sons 8 yrs old computor. He got a new one from his daddy he will be taking more college classes off of the computor this semester....
I have been going to the pool to do exersice in the water doctor says maybe soon you can go to work..yahoo I hope so My job isn't the best but its ok pay and has good insurance..Blessings to all
Since I'm out of work it was a light Christmas..We son, BF, myself each got a few gifts..I got chair for my computor..(which is my sons 8 yrs old computor. He got a new one from his daddy he will be taking more college classes off of the computor this semester....
I have been going to the pool to do exersice in the water doctor says maybe soon you can go to work..yahoo I hope so My job isn't the best but its ok pay and has good insurance..Blessings to all
Why am I having trouble?
Dec 14, 2005
What a moment I applied for food stamp and was denied..My son worked extra hours to buy things for Christmas and pay for personal things so were over the limit allowed..The foodstamp place does not take into consideration medical bills..I pay 53 a week for medical insurance...I work with women that are illegal work at my job under a fake name and have given birth to several kids so they get food stamps.The have no fear of signing a paper saying if they are lying they would go to jail...They also live with a man so the house hold income is very high..They drive around in 35,000 trucks..I was given a paper that said I could go to the salvation army and get some groceries ..I got 6 dented cans of veg..A couple boxes of pasta stuff (you have to add meat to.have no meat) three bags of candy...yes thats right candy..rice, beans and 2 cans of fruit 1 dented...So now I have the government plan down pat..if you have savings don't have it in the bank if you get into any situtation out of work ..empty the account right away..I gave a large amount to Katrina.. besides doing fund raisers ever week for weeks..If I had saved that amount I gave and sold all the things I donated..I would never had had to ask for a hand out from the government.. Lesson learned...enough said..
Does it ever end?
Nov 30, 2005
12-1 -05 I now have back problems well actually I had them before but the pain meds hid the problem as of 12-15-05 still not back to work..I had 2 epidurals in the last 2 weeks and my back is better I'm eating well now I still have a hard time getting in enough protein I can't drink stuff with aspertene..but I can eat most meats fruits and veggies..I do get gasy which is uncomfortable..but walking help so much with that...I hope everyone that read this makes sure they don't miss taking their vit and iron and protein..It drains you and doesn't show up till you start having real problems..
Things to be thankful for
Nov 04, 2005
I was blessed not to have gain the wt back over all these yrs.
My surgeon in 83 was no longer alive and I hadn't really talk to a doctor that does wls since 86.I didn't even think wls .When they (new doctor) finally figured out what was wrong.why I was throwing up everyday vomiting in my sleep acid coming out of my nose.My doctors in my home town said you need to find a doctor that fixes damage insides..one that does repairs.. I was sent by my insurance company to Emory hospital I had to find a Dr in a big enough hospital that could handle the possible complacations since they weren't sure of what would happen in surgery..Dr Finley was one of the names my insurance company gave me I called around the hospital and talked with a few employees He sounded great then called his office they gave me an appointment then asked that I get the past doctors reports sent to him. By this time I had collected reports from every doctor I had ever seen. (Which by the way is something everyone should do)..So that was no problem .He did the test (looked in my stomach) said I'm closed off by scar tissue food had now where to go but back up out of my mouth By this time I was living on milk shakes, He explained a couple possibilities of what he could do and possibles of what could happen.Nothing was set in stone he was hoping to do it lap but if the tissue in my stomach was to wornout he they would have to open me up..I could also lose my whole stomach end up with a feeding tube..With good luck he could give me back a pouch called some letters I couldn't remember .. So now I had 36 hours to drive home 4 1/2 hrs.. get my life in order to have a surgery done that had an outcome of nobody knew.On the way home from Atlanta I got lost, asked a lady for help she said just follow me I'll get you to 75- 85 south well thats what I did.. I was crying ..scared for, well just everything. The lady took me to the interstate and I followed her, well the police pulled me over and I got a ticket and I didn't even know for what, later I found out I was in a lane for people with more than one person in the car..Never heard of such a thing.. the police being the understand sort just said tell it to the judge..Well I couldn't even think that far as to going to court in another state..So I got home and the next day called found out how much the ticket was and paid it..I had to make arrangements with my job.. pay my bills try to get as much of my life fixed as I could in a few hours..I believe my son didn't believe what danger I was in I had been the diehard mom I could do anything ..and my BF well because were are just friends of the immediate time wasn't sure how he had a deal with this. So now I figured I didn't even have a ride to the hospital..BF seeing me cry uncontrolably took off of work and stayed with me in the hospital..He had never been in a hospital.. Had to be at the hospital at 6:30 am (4 1/2 hr drive) We left at midnite I was scared of the traffic and what ever else could happen.. We got there at 4:30 am the security let us in and we tried to sleep in the couches in the lobby...BF doesn't have a DL..But we figured if we got pulled over on the way home we'd be covered since its my car.. They called me in and had to stick me 6 times for the IV.. (I was dehydraded) I kept getting strange looks I found out later it was because of the way I was labeled for surgery..possible RNY with several other thing added on..Scared to death of dying but not wanting to live with a feeding tube..I just kept crying evertime someone would talk to me..So a clergy person asked if I wanted to pray I said "No" I just couldn't handle anymore.I have prayed for the last 2 days every spare minute.. God knew what I wanted, Its up to him to lead the hands of the surgeon..The surgeons came in all 4 and talked with me assured me they would do what they could..Then I did my last bid for my stomach if possible please give me a pouch..I had had one for 23 yrs..I really didn't want to die a fat women..They all just smiled and said well try to rig up something..The skilled hands of Dr Finley and the others did it they replumbed my insides I had a pouch . I woke up with a RNY..I was in so much pain I was screaming..It took several shots to get it under control..not just 2 or 3 either..The nurses were having problems no pain pumps no rooms to send myself and several other to and I was shaking and crying about the pain ..It was worse than I could ever imagine..I asked what they(doctors) did.. the nurse just said you won't remember if I tell you.. I just said you tell me your name I bet I remember that..She said they did a RNY.. I asked.. do I have stomach with a pouch She said yes that was all I needed to know.I thank her..The nurse that took me from the recoverey was not happy with me I wanted to know where my button was.She said it would be in the room it wasn't there..Not a good start .I stayed on the call button till I got one and then the one I got was broke .The nurses weren't mean but they didn't know my hystory so didn't understand why I was a RNY patient...My morphine button didn't work it was smashed on one side..They wouldn't get it fixed..I got up and walked that very nite. My son came to visit.. you don't look to bad mom you can go home in 2 days they said so I don't need to come up again right YES son.He and BF went out to eat... my BP dropped out so they stood me on my head...Then my IV crapped out they tried to restick me..In all I was stick 15 times .. nite nurse on Thursday asked me to watch the IV. Well I fell asleep and then that IV was dead so I pulled it out and drank my way to have enough fluids..The doctor came in and checked on me and said I could go home.I just need to talk with the nut..so she came gave me a few papers and said to call her if i had any problems.. Needless to say all things and ideas from the first surgery in 83 didn't apply to this one. And I never drank protein or diet drinks (I'm not saying this is good its just the way it was) and didn't know what dumping was.. . Everything I have learn about the RNY has come from this board..And I'm not a pc person at all..I didn't even have a electric typerwriter in high school. And never had time or need to learn the pc because I work at a chicken plant the last 12 yrs..And as I said before retention of somethings just don't stick.Learned a few things from my son (his 19) yahooing..I keep in touch with my daugther she lives in Okanawa for the last 5 yrs. I lose more things into the deep hole of this box never to be gotten back.. if the things I have lost were sweets my pc would need wls..When I was home for a few days and called the doctors office I was in way to much pain (I thought) got a call back thats normal they called me in some more pain meds I'm 50 and feel like 80 being so sick this past yr has really been shitty The doctors office was no help when I needed more help with my diet..their nut never called me and the hospitals nut just gave me 2 sheets of general information BF not understanding this surgery really thought after 6 weeks I should be up and running... In the old days (as I call them) last yr I could out dance his lean musclar body any nite of the week..Boy do I want that back... Not being able to eat before the surgery 10-5- 05 robbed my body muscles and bones supply So I have bone and muscle pain and was as weak as a baby, (Better now) still haven't been able to return to work as of 11-25-05... And I have been told I might never get back to where I was physically.. I plan to make that statment wrong.... I ask for many prayers from all my new friends, because family for me is in very very short supply..
My surgeon in 83 was no longer alive and I hadn't really talk to a doctor that does wls since 86.I didn't even think wls .When they (new doctor) finally figured out what was wrong.why I was throwing up everyday vomiting in my sleep acid coming out of my nose.My doctors in my home town said you need to find a doctor that fixes damage insides..one that does repairs.. I was sent by my insurance company to Emory hospital I had to find a Dr in a big enough hospital that could handle the possible complacations since they weren't sure of what would happen in surgery..Dr Finley was one of the names my insurance company gave me I called around the hospital and talked with a few employees He sounded great then called his office they gave me an appointment then asked that I get the past doctors reports sent to him. By this time I had collected reports from every doctor I had ever seen. (Which by the way is something everyone should do)..So that was no problem .He did the test (looked in my stomach) said I'm closed off by scar tissue food had now where to go but back up out of my mouth By this time I was living on milk shakes, He explained a couple possibilities of what he could do and possibles of what could happen.Nothing was set in stone he was hoping to do it lap but if the tissue in my stomach was to wornout he they would have to open me up..I could also lose my whole stomach end up with a feeding tube..With good luck he could give me back a pouch called some letters I couldn't remember .. So now I had 36 hours to drive home 4 1/2 hrs.. get my life in order to have a surgery done that had an outcome of nobody knew.On the way home from Atlanta I got lost, asked a lady for help she said just follow me I'll get you to 75- 85 south well thats what I did.. I was crying ..scared for, well just everything. The lady took me to the interstate and I followed her, well the police pulled me over and I got a ticket and I didn't even know for what, later I found out I was in a lane for people with more than one person in the car..Never heard of such a thing.. the police being the understand sort just said tell it to the judge..Well I couldn't even think that far as to going to court in another state..So I got home and the next day called found out how much the ticket was and paid it..I had to make arrangements with my job.. pay my bills try to get as much of my life fixed as I could in a few hours..I believe my son didn't believe what danger I was in I had been the diehard mom I could do anything ..and my BF well because were are just friends of the immediate time wasn't sure how he had a deal with this. So now I figured I didn't even have a ride to the hospital..BF seeing me cry uncontrolably took off of work and stayed with me in the hospital..He had never been in a hospital.. Had to be at the hospital at 6:30 am (4 1/2 hr drive) We left at midnite I was scared of the traffic and what ever else could happen.. We got there at 4:30 am the security let us in and we tried to sleep in the couches in the lobby...BF doesn't have a DL..But we figured if we got pulled over on the way home we'd be covered since its my car.. They called me in and had to stick me 6 times for the IV.. (I was dehydraded) I kept getting strange looks I found out later it was because of the way I was labeled for surgery..possible RNY with several other thing added on..Scared to death of dying but not wanting to live with a feeding tube..I just kept crying evertime someone would talk to me..So a clergy person asked if I wanted to pray I said "No" I just couldn't handle anymore.I have prayed for the last 2 days every spare minute.. God knew what I wanted, Its up to him to lead the hands of the surgeon..The surgeons came in all 4 and talked with me assured me they would do what they could..Then I did my last bid for my stomach if possible please give me a pouch..I had had one for 23 yrs..I really didn't want to die a fat women..They all just smiled and said well try to rig up something..The skilled hands of Dr Finley and the others did it they replumbed my insides I had a pouch . I woke up with a RNY..I was in so much pain I was screaming..It took several shots to get it under control..not just 2 or 3 either..The nurses were having problems no pain pumps no rooms to send myself and several other to and I was shaking and crying about the pain ..It was worse than I could ever imagine..I asked what they(doctors) did.. the nurse just said you won't remember if I tell you.. I just said you tell me your name I bet I remember that..She said they did a RNY.. I asked.. do I have stomach with a pouch She said yes that was all I needed to know.I thank her..The nurse that took me from the recoverey was not happy with me I wanted to know where my button was.She said it would be in the room it wasn't there..Not a good start .I stayed on the call button till I got one and then the one I got was broke .The nurses weren't mean but they didn't know my hystory so didn't understand why I was a RNY patient...My morphine button didn't work it was smashed on one side..They wouldn't get it fixed..I got up and walked that very nite. My son came to visit.. you don't look to bad mom you can go home in 2 days they said so I don't need to come up again right YES son.He and BF went out to eat... my BP dropped out so they stood me on my head...Then my IV crapped out they tried to restick me..In all I was stick 15 times .. nite nurse on Thursday asked me to watch the IV. Well I fell asleep and then that IV was dead so I pulled it out and drank my way to have enough fluids..The doctor came in and checked on me and said I could go home.I just need to talk with the nut..so she came gave me a few papers and said to call her if i had any problems.. Needless to say all things and ideas from the first surgery in 83 didn't apply to this one. And I never drank protein or diet drinks (I'm not saying this is good its just the way it was) and didn't know what dumping was.. . Everything I have learn about the RNY has come from this board..And I'm not a pc person at all..I didn't even have a electric typerwriter in high school. And never had time or need to learn the pc because I work at a chicken plant the last 12 yrs..And as I said before retention of somethings just don't stick.Learned a few things from my son (his 19) yahooing..I keep in touch with my daugther she lives in Okanawa for the last 5 yrs. I lose more things into the deep hole of this box never to be gotten back.. if the things I have lost were sweets my pc would need wls..When I was home for a few days and called the doctors office I was in way to much pain (I thought) got a call back thats normal they called me in some more pain meds I'm 50 and feel like 80 being so sick this past yr has really been shitty The doctors office was no help when I needed more help with my diet..their nut never called me and the hospitals nut just gave me 2 sheets of general information BF not understanding this surgery really thought after 6 weeks I should be up and running... In the old days (as I call them) last yr I could out dance his lean musclar body any nite of the week..Boy do I want that back... Not being able to eat before the surgery 10-5- 05 robbed my body muscles and bones supply So I have bone and muscle pain and was as weak as a baby, (Better now) still haven't been able to return to work as of 11-25-05... And I have been told I might never get back to where I was physically.. I plan to make that statment wrong.... I ask for many prayers from all my new friends, because family for me is in very very short supply..
Don't give up on me....
Oct 31, 2005
2004 I was vomiting every day and the doctors around where i lived were giving up on me they said there was nothing left to stretch..My stomach pain and scar tissue increased as the vomiting increased..I could vomit standing straight up ..the food would go down my throat sit in my stomach till felt like it rotted then I'd throw it up...I was having muscle problems besides that so I had to deal with the worst problem first..They found muscle neoropathy in my foot ..my toes were hammering..Had one hammer toe fixed and then the big toe they found that the nerve in it was 10 time its correct size..after 2 surgerys they had to remove the nerve..TUMOR At least it wasn't cancerous...
Along the way my brother had a motor cycle accident he lived in a non responsesive state for 8 yrs..It tore my parents apart Grandparents died and favorite aunts and uncles.died I did the big D..I had to stop carrying the guilt of my drinking husband on my back...Then my parents died ..father from cancer kidney..and my mom a stroke 1 yr later.
My one sisiter that I believe is bi-polar said she was going to divorced everyone in the family which she seems to have done she lives in the state where I grew up...shes not had contact with myself or oldest sister or distant cousins...my son is her God child and hes tried to contact her..Nothing..She used to get very stressed and yell at me on the phone... Oh how I pray she will just call me a yell and swear I just want to know shes alive and ok..the last 3 yrs I tried to round up my life dispite all the tramas just kept plugging away at life..
Along the way my brother had a motor cycle accident he lived in a non responsesive state for 8 yrs..It tore my parents apart Grandparents died and favorite aunts and uncles.died I did the big D..I had to stop carrying the guilt of my drinking husband on my back...Then my parents died ..father from cancer kidney..and my mom a stroke 1 yr later.
My one sisiter that I believe is bi-polar said she was going to divorced everyone in the family which she seems to have done she lives in the state where I grew up...shes not had contact with myself or oldest sister or distant cousins...my son is her God child and hes tried to contact her..Nothing..She used to get very stressed and yell at me on the phone... Oh how I pray she will just call me a yell and swear I just want to know shes alive and ok..the last 3 yrs I tried to round up my life dispite all the tramas just kept plugging away at life..
