Marangelli O.

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Happy to report my stall is moved and have lost another 5 pounds!  YAY!  I was soo frustrated there for a while not seeing that scale move.  I decided to change things up 3 days ago and began a food journal through MyFitnessPal which helps tremendously.  I also am timing myself between meals and water with my Android. I am also using MyDietCoach app.   Im using my phone a lot now!  lol But its working!  I am measuring things and maintaining the limits as much I can.  I also am drinking more water.  The timer on MyDietCoach app is great in reminding me.  AND I removed all fatty foods and snacks out and replaced with healthy snacks.  I was eating too much chips and sugary crap!  It doesn't help that my pouch is strong and it tolerates stuff like that, but its all about WILL POWER!  I went ahead and weighed all my healthy snacks into proper portions and placed em in separate bags and cut out the nutrition info so its always on the bag.  I added in beef jerkey too for snacks and now I can actually tolerate em which I could not before.  The MyFitnessPal app has a great barcode scanner function which I absolutely love.  It fascilitates journaling food greatly.  Next week is gonna be a busy week with School resuming the following week and kids physicals and dental appointments, but I am praying that God help me to get in time to working out at the YMCA finally at least 2 days.  When school actually begins for kids, its gonna be a daily workout routine!  Can't wait! :)  Sooooo happy right now!

Just wanna share to whoever ever reads this that I did it!  I finally after so much trepidation enrolled in the YMCA and am scheduled for my orientation tomorrow morning.  Following the orientation I plan to take a Yoga stretch class and muscular streghthening class as well.  Later next week, I hope to work the courage to take water aerobics! 

The only person that can limit you is YOU!  So keep moving forward and take it one day at a time!

Im keeping this on my calendar board:  SOLUTION: hardwork + good choices + wise decisions = SUCCESS!
 

Today I feel good all around to see my weight steady at 270. I need to still get the motivation to get up and work out.  I was reading someones post about mindless eating recently and it really hit home to me.  I have always had terrible eating habits.  The biggest one is that I seldom ate throughout the day.  I would get up and do other stuff but eating was never a focus until dinner and then at that point I was able to get a second and sometimes even a third helping.  I am so glad to not be there although weirdly at times I get frustrated because I want to enjoy something I made that seems delicious but my pouch says enough. And... if I do dare and eat that one last bite, oh boy do I pay for it! 

Im noticing that my puking has really decreased and I really think its cuz I am actually paying attention to when to stop.  Why the heck did it take me so long to get it together?  I guess its cuz I just couldnt fathom me only eating a little bit, especially after so many years of sitting down and eating a lot!  lol  My mind needed to connect!  I still have to work on eating more frequently though.  I still tend to only eat once or twice and I know thats a NO NO! 

Today, I baked some turkey peperoni slices for snacking.  I have been snacking on potato chips A LOT lately!!!  TOO MUCH! The hubby has come into the wagon of also losing weight and getting healthy, now I can really eliminate all these fattening snacks and bring in more healthy stuff.  I have been finding myself researching more and more about bariatric friendly recipes and have found some cool stuff.  I am a very good cook and my kids and hubby absolutely love my cooking and I am an expert in seasoning and making food taste good.  I just need to learn what are the better healthier alternatives that dont compromise flavor which is big in my family.

Since the beginning after my RNY, I have been able to tolerate sugar well and oh boy was that trouble for me.  I was never a big sugar freak but do love my hard candy and chocolate especially at night.  I MUST learn to portion!  I dont want to eliminate things that I enjoy altogether because eventually I know me, I will end up binging!  So, its about managing it wisely.  So, things to work on this week is: Decrease fattening snacks and add in healthy ones, get up and moving, eat more frequently (set up some sort of schedule and stick to it). 

Wish me luck!  I can do this!  I WILL DO THIS!!

HUGS

Firstly let me apologize for how long it has taken me to follow up with an update on my situation.  I had a successful non invasive RNY on February 23rd of this year with no incident.  As a matter of fact, I did so well, I was let out a day early.  My day before surgery weigh is was at 343 from 395 that I was on March of 2011!  However when I got out of the hospital and I weighed I had gained to 349.6.  I believe that gain was related to the entire surgery swelling and natural water retention.  My weight loss has been somewhat sporadic I'd say since there are weeks that the scale sits completely still, which is quite frustrating and others where the weight seems to disappear quickly.  Weird! :/

By March 23rd I had lost almost 30 pounds and I thought I was in heaven!  But the weight loss has slowed down although my body still is still shrinking.  I didnt have much difficulty with my eating mostly I believe because I was on liquids.  As I began ingesting actual food, it has been an issue for me as I tend to puke a lot.  That is mostly contributed to my own stupidity and stubborness though which has come to some sort of control now thankfully.

I am not puking much these days but I know my protein intake is not to par.  I loooove the bariatric smoothie from Smoothie King with 45g of protein but am unable to have it everyday.  I purchased the actual powder but it doesnt come out as good as they make it! :(  lol I am silly but its true!  he he

So far I have lost a total of 74 pounds since that 349# weigh in AFTER the surgery.  I believe I would be losing more if I were more mobile, BUT I am so thankful because I have gained A LOT more mobility since the surgery.  I used to still use my motorized wheelchair at the house and now I do not use it at all.  I am mostly on the rollator which is a HUGE difference from a year ago. 

Im trying so hard to not compare myself to others as every situation is different but I honestly am struggling with that.  I was going to attend my first support group meeting and was unable to do that.  Now I have to wait another month for a gathering!  Thats why I decided to update here in hopes to obtain the support that I need.

I will be 5 months out 2 days from now and feel demotivated!  I have the ability to join the local YMCA completely free cost to me since my insurance paysr it and I still have not done it!  I feel so guilty to go ahead and join without my children since I cannot afford to pay for a membership for them. :(

My insurance has assigned me a personal case manager and she has been wonderful and instrumental in me getting out of the shell and coming here to express my current struggles.  I think I am beginning to move in the direction of going to the YMCA though because I NEED to take care of me and maximise this tool!

Why do I feel so guilty though?  I need help seriously! 

Sorry I'm writing so much.  I guess I should do this more often as it is a good way to release although there is much reluctance on my part to do it.  (BREATHE)  I know it can only get better as I get more active and mobile!  I REALLwant to get on an elliptical (my favorite machine to workout), swim in a real pool and lift some much needed weights for this flab!!

Ok so finally, I was wearing a tight 5x in shirts and 32W in past March of last year and now I am at...... (DRUM ROLL) a 2x in shirts and dresses (which I am actually wearing again!  Its been years)  lol and a size 20 in pants and sometimes some 18W!  Prior to surgery I was at a 4x in shirts and 28 in pants and it was feeling tight! 

So when I see those number, I feel good!  I am a bit unhappy about the weight loss in particular but the inches are coming off and at the end of the day I think that is way more important! 

Thanks to whoever does manage to read this!  I' try to  update sooner next time!  SMOOCHES!

Well I was supposed to be going under the knife today and that did not happen.   I went to see my doctor on Thursday and lo and behold he feels I was not "ready" for surgery.  This is now my third delay.  The first was because the Phsychological Evaluation was outdated and the second was because they had not really received my insurance's approval.  The fist news I get when I got to the office was, "Hey we got your approval".  I was so excited until I stepped on their scale.  I GAINED weight instead of losing and boy I knew what that could mean.  I appreciate what my doctor is doing for me, don't misunderstand me please, its just I was really looking forward to this finally.  But oh well, I guess now I really gotta really get with it! 

Whats most frustrating is that I asked him time and time again if he wanted me to lose any weight and he wanted me on any special diet pre-op and he just kept telling me not to worry about that and now THIS!!!  My God could he have not just told me that 2 weeks ago and I would have literally tried to lose the weight.  Instead my dumb butt decided to splurge on those things I knew and know I wont be having anymore.  Go figure.  How far can my old habits hinder me?  Well I say no more! Enough is enough!

Far too long I have allowed food to control me.  Let's face it I do love food!  Its funny because when he told me "You have an eating disorder and you don't want to face that" it actually ticked me off for a moment.  Quickly after I laughed though knowing that in many respects he was right.  He actually told me to go home and place a sign on my refrigerator that reads "I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER".  My husband and I looked at each other and chuckled at that suggestion but I am actually considering it.  The only thing is that I seldom find myself opening it.  My problem is and has always been that I do not eat at regular intervals or the 3 meals a normal individual is supposedly required, but when I do sit down and eat I eat big portions, I guess trying to to make up for what I did not eat the entire day.  In any respect, I understand this to be my major hinderance and I am determined now more than ever to break this unhealthy cycle that has plagued my 35 years of existence.  I have a month to change these habits and consequently shed some pounds.  My goal is 20 pounds and I know its extreme but I feel I GOTTA do this to prove to him I mean business here.

I know that all things work for our good and I take this as yet another great lesson in life.  I will up my activity level too and I am also keeping a food journal.  I am trying to eat between 1200 to 1500 calories a day that is also low fat, low sugar and low carb.  I CAN DO THIS!!!  I WILL DO THIS!!!

Initially my surgery date was for 6/23/09 but it has been rescheduled to July 6!  There was some problem with my Phsychological report last year and I just had to get a new one.  Just did that today and this doc was sooo much more pleasant to deal with.   Of course I am much happier these days than the last time I underwent the other evaluation.  Regardless, he told me he was very much excited for me to undergo this surgery and is giving me full clearance.  My hubby and I were ecstatic to hear that.  Now all I have to wait is for the girls to get all that paperwork together.  I will be on their butts next week about that.

Sooooo...  the journey will begin for me if God permits all to go through, JULY 6th!  I thank God soo much for getting me to this point and thank Him now for his strength throughout my journey.  I know that I will succeed!!  I am soo excited and my kids are anxious too.

I have purchased a lot of the liquid stuff I will be needing to survive for the first 4-6 weeks.  My hubby bought me a recumbent bycicle and a yoga ball as soon as we got the clearance and I am gonna start doing all that tonight!  Now more than ever this seems soo very real.  I am looking forward to seeing all my buds on that losers bench.

 

I am happy to report that I have just spent 2 days in all those pre-op tests.  I think this is it now.  The one I had to day (EGD) was the worst.  Ughhhhhhh  It was not completely awful but definitely something I do not look forward to getting done again (hopefully). 

Anywho, my next appointment with the doctor is next Thursday and thats when we review all the test results.  I did do the sleep study about a month ago and it turned out I have Sleep Apnea, not at all a surprise.  I just did the second portion of that test last week where they determine the pressure of the CPAP I need.  We shall see what the doc says about that.  So far, so good.  I will keep posting as I can.

Sorry it has been so long since I have updated this.  The past months have involved many changes for me.  Although I had not been actively in the process for several months, I am happy to report that I am back on schedule with things.  I have met all the requirements and just went through the sleep study last Monday.  Unfortunately I have been found with Sleep Apnea and am scheduled for another study a month from now, although I do see the surgeon for the first time on April 30th.  I am not sure if I have to wait for the second portion of the sleep study or what, but I guess I will find that out soon.  From the last time I posted I did gain some weight back that I had lost - about 5 pounds according to the scale, but I am not exactly sure about it because I FEEL much bigger!!  Anywho, I just wanted to get back on track in journaling my story since I am quite excited to be back in the process.  I am happy to see all the progress I am seeing from many of you and cannot wait to join you all in the success stories.  Take care all and will keep you all posted.  Please keep me in your prayers as you are always in mine.  God bless you all dearly!

Mari

Hey ALL!! 

Just got back from my 2nd visit with the nutritionist and boy was she impressed.  In three weeks I have lost over 13 pounds!!! 
My weight today was 344 with my boot and leg brace and without 338!  I began at 357.7!!!  Boy am I excited, I don't know what to do with myself.  I knew I was losing because a lot of my pants were beginning to feel lose.  The thing is that they have not received the Psychological Evaluation or my PCP clearance form yet so I gotta call them tomorrow to find out whats holding that.  After they receive that paperwork, she said they will call me to come and meet with the doctor and begin pre-op testing.  If all goes well, I could be having this surgery as soon as in 3 weeks!

Here I thought it would be a much longer process but I am thankful that it has been a smooth ride this far.  I am going to continue what I am doing because it would be great if I could lose another 18 pounds before the actual surgery takes place.  All in all, I feel great.  I have been feeling very tired lately though and I am not sure why since I am taking all my vitamins and stuff.  I gotta see what my results were from the blood tests.  The biopsy was normal thank God so I am no longer stressed about that.

Well friends, thanks for being such great support.  I will keep you posted!

Lots of Love,

Mari

Thank you to those who provided some very much needed guidance and wisdom regarding the Psychological Evaluation.  I am glad you guys and gals shed some light upon my misunderstanding. 

I know that the Psychologist meant well and I did tell her that I wanted to see her again because I wanted to suceed and not fail, and if she thought I would benefit from further sessions, I would definitely comply.  I guess I never thought of food being my addiction.  Bill and Maria really put things into perspective for me and I am clearer than ever on what I need to do and that is to continue moving forward ensuring I prepare myself in order to prevent any further addictions from occurring when the food addiction is cured.

I am well on my way though.  Today while grocery shopping, all I purchased was either fat free or reduced or whole organic foods.  I especially stocked up on veggies and fruit and have been doing so for the past 2 weeks.  I like these new changes because I feel that I am doing my children and husband some good and they seem to be responding very positively to the changes.  At some point I thought that I would have to purchase items only for me and buy regular stuff for them, but that has not been the case.  They have been so adaptable and I love them so much for it!

I know I could benefit greatly from further Psychological sessions and I will be calling this week to set something up.  After reviewing things with my husband, we both agree that RNY is the best option for me at this time.  We already have a daily regime of taking vitamins along with my medicines so taking vitamins will not be nothing new for me since I have already been doing it.

I know that along the road will be many hurdles to jump but I thank God that he always makes a way for me and gives me strength and wisdom to overcome.

Well thats all for now, thanks for reading...

: )