mariainctlfla
I am less than two months from my sleeve gastrectomy surgery. I have been overweight for about 23 years. At 48, I no longer want to lose weight for vanity reasons, but I am much more focused on health. Thinking about it I have always had the tendency to gain weight. In elementary school I went through a "baby fat" phase but it really didn't linger long. But I always felt overweight. As I look back at photos now I don't get it. My high school pictures were resurrected by my Dad a couple of months ago who thought I might enjoy seeing them. I really look TOO thin. And yet, I remember being very self concious about my weight. I was really active when I was young. As a child I was a tomboy, riding bikes, playing tag football and basketball with my brother and his friends. At about 12, I discovered boys and my exercise became dancing and roller skating, swimming and running. When I went away to college, I couldn't afford a car at first so in addition to the dancing and running, I rode a bike or walked absolutely everywhere. (Effectively burning off all those beer calories!) Once "real life" began, an apartment, live in boyfriend, a job and cooking dinner every night I had a revelation of food freedom. My parents were always afraid I was gaining weight and they really never kept snacks or sweets at home. They would be sure to say something if they saw me eating bread or anything they perceived as "fattening", so any overeating I did, I did outside my home. Now that I was doing my own food shopping and cooking I remember being in the supermarket and saying, "I can buy anything I want." Oh, oh... At the same time, Now I had a car and drove everywhere, was in a relationship so wasn't out dancing with the girls at night. My boyfriend wasn't physically active so neither was I. I really didn't see it sneaking up on me until he made a comment (which by now I have blessedly forgotten). That drove me to weight watchers. At the time I needed to lose eight pounds according to their charts. It seemed like a lot to me. I joined WW and went down the street to join a gym. The guy that signed me up made a snide comment about me needing it because I weighed 126 lbs. and boy were my thighs big! Can you believe that? But I did... I gained slowly year over year, but no doubt about it, size 8 this year was size 10 next year and size 12 the year after. At that point I got into a car accident and it required some time to recuperate at home. By this time I had found a great guy and he took great care of me. He cooked and helped around the house and loved me how I was. When I married him in 1984 I was a 16/18 and weighed 182 lbs. I was so self conscious at my own wedding. In Alcapulco when we wanted to go parasailing the guy who ran the concession said he thought I might be too big to go on. (I went anyway). How humiliating was that? On our return I went on diets in earnest: Weight Watchers, Richard Simmons, Mayo Clinic, Diet Center. I was on Diet Center and had gotten down to 169 when I found out we were pregnant which was the best possible news. I became a health freak. My OBGYN was very focused on how much weight his patients gained and had instructed me that 20-30 lbs was the desirable amount. I gained 28 lbs. and after delivering a beautiful, healthy baby girl, by the time I left the hospital I had lost 13 of those pounds. I knocked off another 10 lbs over the next 6 weeks. But then something happened. My daughter settled in to a routine, the colic was gone and she started almost sleeping through the night. She would nap from 10-12 then again from 2-4 and then go to bed from 10-6. I was actually bored! So I became a very creative cook. I would make my husband nice breakfasts before he went off to work, would snack throughout the day and everynight he came home to a gourmet meal. (Which of course I nibble on and tasted the entire time I was cooking). My husband was in wine sales and restaurant openings and tastings became a regular part of our lives and I continued to pack on the pounds. At this point I was back into the 180s. I continued to try different diets: Optifast, Weight Watchers (again) LA Weight Loss, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, Lean Cuisine, Slim Fast, Richard Simmons (again), Mediterranean Diet. My marriage was in turmoil (for reasons unrelated to my weight) and my husband and I seperated for 3 and 1/2 years at which time, I slipped into the 190's. We gave our relationship another try for 6 more stressful years before separating again. At this point I had thrown myself into being the best mom I could be and into my career which was on a upward trajectory. I was successful, and competent and in control, in everything except my weight. 20 more lbs came on during my protracted divorce, and I'm still climbing the career ladder and concentrating on my high school aged daughter and her needs. Soon I was an all time high of 270 lbs and I went to Jenny Craig (once more). I had a phenominal counselor and really committed to the program. From July to the end of December I managed to get down to 230, I had hired a personal trainer (a woman who had lost over 100 lbs on JC and had become a trainer) and was exercising and losing 1-2 lbs. per week. I felt great about my progress, and at this point my employer offered me a huge promotion which came with a move to Orlando. I was leaving my home of 18 years, my town of 26 years and all my friends. My daughter had gone away to college... Lots of change. I moved to my new town and settled into my new job which required a tremendous amount of travel. I immediately went to sign into the Jenny Craig in Orlando and found the closest center was 15 miles from my home! The counselers were very new and I was not able to "click" with any of them. No more personal trainer. I spent the better parts of my week on planes and in hotels eating restaurant food and restaurant portions. You know the drill...I gained back all but five pounds. Back in Ft. Lauderdale, one of my employees had undergone gastric bypass very successfully by Dr. Robert Marema. Coincidentally, Bob Marema's daughter and my daughter had known each other since they were 4 years old and we had met at parties. I knew he was a highly regarded surgeon who had gone through the surgery himself. I was tempted at the time, but my daughter had begged me not to, thinking the operation too risky and I put it out of my mind. In Orlando, my assistant revealed to me that she was a gastric bypass patient and she looked fabulous. Now the bug was in my ear again. On a business trip to Atlantic City, I spent time with one of our sales managers who was awaiting a lapband surgery date. I had never heard of lapband so I started hitting the computer to learn as much as I could. At this time I received a letter from my insurance company (I had applied for additional life insurance) and was told that they would be unable to insure me as my weight put me at too high a risk. This stopped me cold. This meant that an actuary would have actually done the math and determined that the odds were great that I would die. Then Dr. Oz said on Oprah that a woman who was 100 lbs. overweight had the same risk of dying as a woman with breast cancer. That was the final straw. I didn't think I could go back and forth to Ft. Lauderdale to have Dr. Marema do this, but I found out he had opened a second office here in Celebration, FL. I went to an information meeting and heard about the sleeve gastrectomy. This seemed like the perfect operation for me. I actually had gone in for the LapBand but determined that to be too invasive for me. I have at this point gone through all health clearances and am scheduled for my surgery on the 15th of October. I know this will be life changing. I have a list of so many things I want to do, and don't we all. And while I have not become a hermit because I'm fat, it does restrict a number of things I'd like to do. I'm looking forward to it. I want more time in this world with my wonderful daughter, her future kids, my family and friends. I have plans for the last half of my life and now I know I have a fighting chance.
