Deborah P.
Hi,
My name is Deborah. I go by maternalone, because that is what my daughter dubbed me, many years ago and it's stuck. My story is not unlike many others. As a young woman, I never struggled with my weight. I was young and active and food was not really a priority. I can almost pinpoint when I started using food to sooth my soul. It was in January 1978, the day after the "blizzard of 78", our house caught on fire and everything just seemed to change from that point on. Fortunately, no one was hurt. But there was significant smoke damage and we scattered to live with relatives. I had just started going to college in NYC and discovered Zarro's bakery as a way to relieve my stress and comfort me. I lived with my Aunt and Uncle along with my brother and my parents and my other brother lived with my Dad's parents. We basically all lived together, and upstairs/downstairs situation, but yet I felt very invisible. My mother was struggling to live with my grandparents. My two brothers, being younger were still very much involved in the daily life and I felt a bit left out. I was going to school and working part time, so I rarely was involved in family dinners, etc. Not being in my own environment was hard (brushing your teeth in the bathroom with the kitty litter box, was not great). I remember then I started to put on a few pounds. I was going to be getting married in September of that year to my high school sweetheart and still current husband.....will be 30 years in September this year. There were lots of things going on and food became a source of comfort. We married, I was still cooking like I lived at home with four other people, and consquently we ate, like we were a combination of 5 people. He gained some weight, I started gaining weight and then I got pregnant! Now I could really eat! Gained sixty pounds during my pregnancy, much to the chagrin of my OB . Lost it all within a few months of delivery to a beautiful baby girl. But then stress of new motherhood, husband working two jobs, money problems, lonliness, frustration, lack of sleep, you name it and food became a comfort. No major weight gains over the last 28 years, just a few pounds here and there, a new season, new clothes, a few more pounds, and the cycle continues. Diets tried and failed. Lost 10, gained fifteen. You know how it goes, and so here I am, in my thirtieth year of marriage and 176 heavier than when I started. I joke with my husband, that I am twice the woman he married. Not really that funny when you think about it. So after a bout with cancer in 2006/2007, I have decided, that this is it for me. I need to take control and I need help! Lap band is my tool and determination to keep on living is my motivation. If my cancer returns and it very well can, co-morbidities will become an even more major, major issue. So "I do not intend to tiptoe through life to arrive safely at death". I'm going for it and am fully aware of the lifestyle changes I need to make and have been working on doing so already. I should be having my procedure in March. I'll keep you posted.
March came and went, and a few struggles with insurance and doctors talking to doctors and I finally had my surgery Tuesday, July 29th! Yeah.
