Mia1307
True Goaaaaal!!!!
May 12, 2009
My thanks comes first to my family especially, Margarita, Radu, Helen, Alex and sweet Irina, without their presence in April 2008 I simply could not have done this. Second to my wonderful parents who without them the surgery simply would not have been possible.
How has my life changed? Wow, where do I begin? Well I have more skin, which bugs me, but not as bad as I thought or what you see on TV.. Apart from the obvious physical changes, the emotional ones have been fundamental and I think the most important. For the first 9 months on this journey the rage was surreal and powerful. I simply didn't realize just how much I was stuffing and holding onto it through excessive eating. Now that it has come out, with therapy and living I am free of it I feel whole for the first time in my life. Some may dispute that there is an addiction to food, I beg to differ, I lived it. The utter lack of self worth, constant torture and emotional pain associated with over eating and thinking that I was going to die, both physically and emotionally without food was extremely powerful and heartbreaking.
The amount of emotional pain I was carrying around was simply indescribable, how could a human being put themselves through such misery? I did and I am living proof that through surgery (I believe the only method for me) I kicked it. I remember being in a fetus position in November 2007 screaming because I couldn't cope anymore with anger, self loathing and fear. What would I do? Hit the mashed potatoes and anything else I could get my hands on simply not to feel, the more I stuffed the more it hurt. I remember eating so much that I would be in physical pain, let it subside and start again, that pain was better than the emotional pain, but really the only person suffering was me. It's a horrendous vicious cycle of self loathing and punishment for not being good enough.
One of the most liberating moments for me finally occurred in February of this year; I woke up one morning and literally "felt" the parasitic twin I had been carrying all these years "fall" off. It was the strangest and one of the most freeing experiences I have ever felt. A lightness of being was taking over and was overwhelming, Dr. H you did it!!! You helped me get my life back when it was hanging in the balance and in your hands, I will be forever grateful to you for helping me get my life back.
Many wonderful things have happened during the course of this journey, even though I will always be an addict, the need to eat (10% of the time) has been replaced with exercise, laughter, new meaningful friendships, animals and a renewal of spirit. In 2009 however things are different and I have been tested and continue to be, the death of my beloved dogs, loss of job, chaos and fear. I sometimes fall into the trap of wanting and trying to eat to comfort myself, but find that I cannot without feeling physically ill, instead I focus on spirit and all the positive things that I have happened and no doubt will continue to happen. Tout passe....It's weird but I now that I am thin and the dysmorphia has gone, I feel more European than American... Could this be that as a general rule we are less obese?
I am so happy not to be "invisible" any longer it forces me to be accountable for my actions and behaviours little scary, but hey I will take that any day. Upward and onward, I am looking for a job, but also taking time to re-group and focus on calmness tranquility and a straight path, to prepare me better for my next employer, who ever that may be.
I am going to stay in the health care field, and have applied to the local hospital which we sarcastically call " Saint Victims" (st. Vincent's really)!! That and shopping my resume around to the various employment agencies. At the same time feeling much more peaceful... Thank God for unemployment benefits, they should kick in, in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime I am dog sitting 2 dogs for 5 weeks not a bad way to get a bit of money and enough to pay bills etc etc. I think if I say anymore it will be redundant and the pics speak for themselves.
GOOAAALLLLL!!!!!!
Feb 22, 2009
Hi Everyone,
Well as of this morning’s weigh in I am sitting at 153.4bs = 11 stone = 69.6 Kilos. Size 12/10 in US sizes, (closer to a 10) that is very exciting.
.... I may lose more weight but right now seem to be in the maintaining phase. My stomach has expanded nicely, which is good, I don't think I was eating quite enough before. I am learning to accept myself and my body at this size, it's still weird but I am proud of myself up to a point. For some reason I don't feel liberated as I thought I would, the "parasitic" twins I always talk about are finally gone and lying at the door step of you know who(s). It's liberating in one way but very uncomfortable in another. I am so used to lugging these 2 people around and being emotionally abused by them, that not having that crutch is odd. It forces me to be accountable for my own emotional make up and stop blaming them for my emotional well being, feels very raw because I can no longer pacify myself with food or stuffing my emotions. It's rather interesting to be described as skinny! Very odd...but over time I am getting used to it, the brain is catching up, now if only my clothes would fit properly!!
Some of my friends have noticed that I have been a bit more volatile and vacillate more often since my surgery. I have noticed it too and it disturbs me, I accept it as being completely normal since I don't have my crutch. I have to face my emotions head on and sometimes it's very painful, but it's great to get the feelings out..... I will send pics in a few days; I am not in the mood right now.
This goal is a bitter sweet moment. As some of you know, my lovely, special Pixie died, and then my new dog at the time
Willow
Shogi!
3:00am and I can't sleep for the life of me! More changes, of course lots more energy, I am now walking about 1/2 to a mile a day with the dogs. It's lovely to be out in the fresh air under our beautiful blue skies and stars at night. I can see Venus clearly every night from my living room, and when out the Milky Way and I think Orion. It's nice and peaceful and surprisingly silent. I also continue to swim, and go on little excursions. It's good for the soul and uplifts my spirits when I am feeling down.
Well it’s a beautiful Sunday morning with not a cloud in the sky, I feel more peaceful. All is calm and yes bright. Just went for a lovely long walks with my two companions, the funniest was meeting the neighbours’ horse… She bent down really low and tried to nibble Shogi, it was actually very sweet.
Well I don’t have anything very interesting to say at all so I will end here, and send pics another time…
Love,.
Mia
Woo Hoo… Second to last update can you believe this!!?? I can’
Dec 26, 2008
Hello Everyone!
Unfortunately the gurglies and I have become best friends, every time I have finished eating or drinking they start!! Sometimes I can be heard across the room, it can be quite comical when they do not occur at a most inappropriate time!!!! I can now eat practically everything and do, however fruits and veggies still scare the system a bit. When the weight loss slows down a bit I up the fat intake and the next week I experience a whoosh in weight loss! I love this surgery!! Sometimes when I eat too many crackers or have too much sugar ( not very often) I get a stomach ache and feel sick, it is after all a “side effect” which I asked for and I am happy my body works that way.
The major things I have noticed are that people and perfect strangers are so much friendlier and outgoing towards me. Now that I am this weight I feel I am truly part of the world and society. My fear of going to new places and meeting new people has completely vanished, I know now I won’t be judged nor looked at with pity. Someone told me last week-end that when I was so obese I looked as though I were in my fifties and now I look so much younger… I tend to agree. What is fun is that I compare pictures of my sisters and I and I finally look like them again…. I thank my mother for the high cheekbones…
Emotionally this surgery has completely changed me; I am so much stronger and healthier. I look at the world through different eyes, and don’t see myself as huge… Well most days anyway. It’s fun to hold up jeans and realize just how “small” I have become. Physically, there is no comparison, I am energetic, there is a spring in my step, and I can run!! I don’t huff and puff, I am no longer in pain of any sort. Sometime stairs bother me but other wise no obesity related problems… The most fun at the moment is to be able to buy clothes right off the rack and they FIT!!! I haven’t bought much, but a few things to carry me through the sizes. Another piece of excitement is that by Christmas day I will be in the 160’s!!!!
I can’t believe that this is the second to last update before I hit goal!! At that time I will post a bunch of pics in a series!!!! Some of you have asked me about skin issues, and I can say that it isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I obviously have loose stuff but on the whole I look good….. Though for the last 2 weeks I am struggling with my food addiction. I will always be an addict, but I am managing, some days are really hard, I want all the bad stuff!!! Sometimes I give in and other times not at all. The weight is still dropping at a slow steady pace.....
I am happy to be strong and healthy, I am so much happier in all aspects of my life and things are coming together nicely. The job is very stressful at the moment, we have enough funds for 6mths and then I don’t know what is going to happen, so in the meantime I live in the moment.
As some of you know our manager was fired and the position has been eliminated. SO…. As a result a lot has been piled on me and I have been given some of her responsibilities. Unfortunately the pay hasn’t gone up but what can we do in these rough economic times?!! I am just grateful to have a job, a great co-worker whom I just adore and the best boss I could ask for!
I hope you are all doing well and have a really Happy Christmas and Happy New year….
Lots, love,
October 18th 2008
Oct 18, 2008
Yipeeee
Oct 07, 2008
I weighed in this morning as I do every Sunday and hit another mile stone!!! 198.4! = 14.2 stones = 90 Kilos!! I have now officially joined the rest of the world in my head. It's always been a psychological thing with me, that being in the 200's I am always on the outside looking in and now I feel in the midst of the world....
Just wanted to share my success and I LOVE the DS!!!!!
92 LBS DOWN YIPEEE
Sep 21, 2008
Hello everyone,
Oh my God, oh my God.....Well, well, well. Where do I begin THIS time!!!!... 92.1bs down!!!! Which = 41.8 kilos. I am now at 202.6llbs = 14.5 stones = 91.2 Kilos. I am now firmly into a size US 16 and going down, I have 64lbs to go before I hit my goal weight!!!! I had all my blood work done and am in the normal range for everything including cholesterol. I nearly fell off the chair when I heard that one.. Who would have thought? I can scarcely believe it, and the pictures to me are a huge wow… I still see myself as 294 and unable to do very much due to incessant pain and fatigue. All of the Fibromyalgia is now gone we are all still stumped but I am not questioning it, hopefully it won’t come back, every once and a while I get stiff, but nothing more. I have a huge spring in my step and doing things I thought I would never do… I am going swimming without hiding behind weird strewn about objects and going for walks in the mountains, without dying of suffocation, haven’t given up on riding and found a stable, just need to get my behind in gear. I have finally hit the appropriate weight to not cause animal cruelty.
The sleep apnea is gone, I still have the pesky acid reflux which is truly annoying and painful when I forget to take my meds. I am on 2 meds now instead of 12!!! Did I mention I have a visible, collar bone, did I!? Did I???? I haven’t seen it for 11 years!!!!! Yippee…. Now that I am six months post op, I am incorporating more foods, such as fruit (some go down brilliantly others are the pits!), juice, coffee, tea (good Lord I have missed coffee and tea!), some vegetables and salad. Some days are better than others, sometimes I can eat like a horse, and other days I am a mere bird.... I think it might always be that way. I am now loving my surgery!! It's funny, I can eat the fat, the high protein, don't count calories, don't worry about over eating, I only keep a conscious track of what protein to carb ratio that goes into my mouth on a daily basis, my choice to keep the carbs around 23gr. People are amazed that I eat butter on nearly everything and the weight is coming off weekly... I can't do the sugar and hardly have any anymore unless it's found in veggies and fruit and two in my hot beverages. I am not eating processed foods anymore, I am much more conscious of that. I am amazed that I am one of the success stories, I was convinced I would fail with this surgery, I was so scared and worried. Now here I am 92.1lbs thinner, my heart is thankful and beating in a much healthier way. Friends have been telling me " You are not as big as you think you are". It may be true, but as some of you know, my brain hasn't caught up with the appearance of the body. Someone at work took a picture of me the other day and I was flabbergasted I simply couldn't fathom it... a negative on my journey, is that my hair started falling out in August, this is NORMAL, the body goes through an enormous adjustment. Now it seems to have slowed down and not doing much. I don't feel the food anymore, going down or feel the digestion, who ever told me that one morning I would wake up feeling completely normal, was so right, thanks!!! I think I will need plastic surgery at the end of this, how I am going to do it, I don't know, but right now it doesn't matter.
Emotionally? On top of the world, the depression has lifted significantly in the last few months, I look normal as it where. Someone called me skinny the other day and I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face for hours, I tell you it feels really good. I am still so grateful to my sisters and family for giving me this gift of a new life and I suspect will always be, Bunny you’re the best! We will be the skinny sisters!! Helen, me and you, Irina you don’t count you have always been skinny!!!!! You don’t forget that generosity and love when someone gives you a leg up and as a result your life changes in ways you never knew it would. I am determined not to ever forget the misery I got myself into, and what was unjustly handed to me, because of sheer emotional pain and baggage; I never want to be in that state again. It was pure torture.
I am very emotional this morning, it is a combination of sadness, joy and disbelief.... I feel as though I haven't quite joined the world yet.... I feel as though I have one foot firmly planted on the roof of the Grand Canyon and the other suspensed above the valley floor. I know that the faith I have will sustain me, I know I will be caught by spirit and that I won't fall to my death below. I cannot explain the torture that I felt. The parasitic twin is finally dying... I don't know how to explain the pain of emotional cruelty to those who haven't gone through it, but this is partly what obesity is about, regardless of how happy people insist they are. The ammount of freedom that I now feel is indescribable... I feel as though my heart is singing yet trepidatious.. At the momemt, I feel so close to Bumy and Helen and Irina, it's ridiculous. I will never forget the sacrifices they made for me......along with Alex and Radu.. I am sorry if this is mushy, but this goal has really hit me to the core....
However instead of carrying trunks of crap to fill the Titanic, each room now is becoming a place of joy. A lot of the baggage has now been replaced with happiness and a lightness of being that I haven’t felt in a long time. People who have had this surgery have a common thread and that is we develop “the anti BS gene”. Boy is that true, I am simply not putting up with any of it in my life, I have lost friends, because of this surgery and thrown a couple out of my life, because I am simply not willing to put up with shit from other people or their issues. On the other hand, I am also learning not to dish it out, and expect the same treatment from people that deem me to be BS’ing them!!!! There is a fine line with my issues and other peoples which I am walking, but I think you all understand where I am coming from…. As I mentioned above, there is a lightness of being to me now, that hasn't been there since my 20's. My 40's are fantastic ( though can be stressful at times) I wouldn't trade them for anything, I must say with honesty that this is my favourite time in my life. I have been trying to live by my motto " Live in Joy even though you know all the facts". It is proving to be an incredible lesson and every day is an opportunity to find a way to incorporate it. I have been studying that sentence, dissecting it in turn, to find out what exactly that means to me. It has changed my life, and continues to do so. Healthy boundaries are in place and I feel very powerful especially emotionally, which I thought I would never say in my life. Though sometimes I do doubt the decisions that I make. I suppose that is natural...
Ok time to admit it, me myself and I and I believe my new found inner freedom and confidence have attracted a lovely new love into my life…. His name is James and he is a doll… As you can imagine I am happy and it’s nice to have a companion. It’s all new, and I am not saying more for now!!! The job is going brilliantly and all is well, we are now attracting more patients from all over the world, for our Macular Degeneration treatment. So if you know of anyone who needs our help here is our website. www.reverseamd.com
Yes I know shameless plug, but that’s my job to drum up more business in the office so we all get paid. Sometimes I come home completely exhausted because I am on the go all day, so it's nice to have time away from the phone and listening to people. As you know sometimes I turn all of them off because I can't deal anymore. Now that I have lost weight we have a few of the patients who have become somewhat lecherous with me, which is rather disconcerting. It's a little new to me, and makes me feel very uncomfortable, but I am learning to deal with it, in a polite manner, though sometimes I truly want to throttle them. This doesn't happen every day but when it does, it's a complete pain.
Anyway that is all for now…
This comes with much love and gratefulness from your happy friend and sister.
Lots of love,
Mia xo
62.9 lbs GONE
Jul 06, 2008
Hello Everyone,
YESS.... The mile stone I have been longing for is here... I can't believe it. I feel so different and look different as you can see from the pictures. My nickname at work is the incredible shrinking woman, because every time the patients come back in for their follow up appointments I have shrunk again! I tried to put them side by side and for some reason I can't.
I have gone down 5 dress sizes and weigh 231.8 lbs = 105.1 kg = 16.6 stones. What is different? Well.... No more nausea, still feel rather odd at times but far and few between. I finally felt fully human and well at the beginning of last month it took a while for things to straighten out and they continue to do so. I still get weird feelings in the abdomen area which I think are normal. 2 liters of water a day is proving to be a challenge, so far I am hitting one and a half. I miss coffee the most and of course my afternoon tea, but I think I will start drinking that again!
The appetite isn't there and I truly find it a chore to eat, who would ever have thought I would say THAT!!. It's a bore to force myself to sit down for a meal, but I have to, some days go by and I have hardly eaten a thing, then the weight loss doesn't budge. I really have to work on that. The protein shakes are going down well, I finally found something that tastes good, thanks Dr. Husted!. Chicken is now off the menu, I have totally gone off it and never want to see it again! Loving ice which I didn't particularly care for prior to surgery, I put it in anything I can get my paws on.
The few major things I have noticed are that I have much more energy and am running around a lot without pain or limps. It's amazing to me to be pain free after 6 yrs of agony and misery. I am not getting the "pity" looks anymore from the average size person who sees me walking down the street. I am finding that people's energy towards me is much more friendly and open; they aren't going to catch the obesity disease. Chairs, booths, and stools are my friends! All that subconscious chatter of worrying about breaking furniture, fitting in places has gone, I simply don’t think about it anymore.
Once I weigh 200lbs I hit the pool and the horses! Can't wait for those as I love them both. I have started walking more and find that I am not out of breath anymore (well nearly as much). I definitely feel more alive, I truly believe that April 2nd was my rebirth I am no longer a walking corpse! I went from severely morbidly obese, to severely obese, I have 1 point to go before my BMI hits the obese category so it's very exciting.
Emotionally and psychologically my attachment to food has dissipated more than I can say I am no longer living to eat, but rather busy living. My depression is lifting significantly thanks to the medicine. So far it hasn’t affected the weight loss, but my Dr and I are keeping a close eye on it. I haven’t gone through all this, to gain weight or stall I am managing money much better too and feeling better about all that, I am finding much healthier ways of nurturing myself which is great. Again I firmly believe that the 62.9lbs is pure raw sewage that came from one major place. I don't deal with that issue anymore or that person and it is so incredibly liberating.
I can't believe that if I keep going at this rate (12 to 15 lbs a month) I could hit my goal weight of 140lbs by Christmas or early next year. I went to the Dr. and she told me I should weigh between 136 and 150lbs, for my height and bone density. I feel happy at 140. At that time I increase the carbs big time, long live pasta, bread and potatoes!! It's all about balance....
I hope all of you in the States had a happy 4th of July. I went on a picnic with my best friend and her family to the mountains in bigTesuque by the river in the forest and had a blast we lit sparklers and were generally silly!! Anyway that's all for now, more pics coming your way in 30lbs more, at another mile stone of 90lbs!!!!!
DS RULES
Jun 02, 2008
ll of us have been pre-ops, or maybe you still are now. We all have a million questions in the pre-op phase, but it's so easy to forget the answers once we've actually had our surgery. There are so many crazy and confusing things that happen to us after we get our DS's. Each of us have very different journey's, but in the beginning we all seem to have many of the same questions, concerns, and fears. I have started a list of frequently asked questions and have weighed in on each of them with my opinion. Please keep in mind that I'm not in the medical field and the following should not replace the advice of your surgeon or doctor...these are just the things I've learned along my journey by either reading or experiencing first hand.
Is my poop going to stink, and/or am I going to get gas with the DS?
Well, yes. We're human. Poop NEVER smells good, and we all get gas,I don't care who you are. I do believe that the smell changes after the DS, (as it does with ANY malabsorbtive procedure...just look at the RNY board or talk to an RNYer, they complain of this problem too) but it hasn't been something for me that has been uncontrollable.
Ways to control gas and smelly poo after your WLS
I have found an air freshener that clears any smells I can possibly make from Walmart. It is called Pure Citrus. In addition, I take one probiotic daily called Culturelle. It doesn't make my poop smell like roses, but it does seem to regulate things better. There are also internal deodorizers like Devrom, Innermint, and of course there is always Flagyll. We each have to find what works for us, no one person will be the same. In the end, the thing that works the VERY best is watching for the trigger foods that give you gas and avoiding them if you need to be somewhere that having a bout of gas would cause you problems. As a pre-op, beans, chili, and spicy foods gave me noxious gas. As a post-op, those still get me sometimes, and white flour is an additional gas maker for me as a DSer. I only eat it in the evening hours when I'm home for the night. Often it is rumored that DSers have diarrhea for life. This is *NOT* a normal condition after the DS and if you have diarrhea after the first few weeks post op, you should be talking to your surgeon ASAP about what to do. Dr. Hess suggests taking 1 -3 teaspoons of Metamucil to add bulk to your stools and help to cut back on the frequency of them. On the other side of the coin, if you find you lean toward constipation, there are things you can do for this as well. You can take the full dose of M.O.M before going to bed as a first resort. If this doesn't work, try upping your fat intake for the next couple of days. (Add extra butter to the things you're eating, Lil' Smokies, pulled pork, kielbasa, KFC chicken, crab legs dipped in butter, popcorn swimming in butter and so forth). Another remedy that people talk about using is Magnesium Oxide. You can take 1,000 mg at bedtime and see if that will work for you.
This hurts so much!!!!!
There is no doubt about it, this surgery hurts! You've just had your stomach cut open (whether you had your surgery open or lap, this is a big surgery) and it is definitely going to take you time to recover. I know that we all want to be normal quickly, but having a large portion of your stomach removed, your intestines rerouted, your gallbladder, AND your appendix removed. This is a HUGE GIGANTIC surgery! For sure! You are going to have pains, and you are going to have weird little "ghost type pains" that are all of your nerves reconnecting, and things are going to be hard for some time. Some of us heal more quickly than others, but we all take time. The best thing you can do is take plenty of naps, stay hydrated, take your vitamins as religiously as humanly possible while your stomach is still swollen, get in as much protein as you can, and take lots of little mini walks throughout the day. Walking is hard at first, but it does help us heal more quickly which is awesome!!!
***If you are having pain that concerns you, do not hesitate to contact your surgeon, night or day. They are not going to get mad at you, they want you to be safe too. If they didn't want middle of the night calls they could have been an accountant....it's their job and they're there for you when you need them, no matter how small the issue.
How will I break my carb addiction?
I think it's important before even having your DS to make a lifelong commitment to getting in your daily protein. Protein first is one of the most important rules with the DS. Sure, that bag of potato chips might be screaming your name much louder than your plateful of protein, but if you can't finish your protein, then you have to make yourself a promise that you won't touch the potato chips. (Or whatever carb is there screaming your name). Protein first is a *must* after you get the DS. If you can eat your protein and you then have room left over, it's okay to have the carb(s) that you want so bad. By the time you've eaten your protein there won't be a lot of room left for the junk anyway. Always try to only have a small portion of carbs while in your weight loss window and still trying to lose. Our chemistry is changed when we focus on protein in our diets. When you eat protein and fats, your body is satisfied longer...when you eat carbs your body craves food sooner and you'll typically crave another carby food because your chemistry is thrown off balance. The DS doesn't have to be a "diet" but you will have to make some sacrifices at times if you plan to reach your weight loss goal. Keeping your carbs low, and your protein and fat high will help the chemistry of your body to fight off carb cravings. It is better to stay away from carbs as much as possible during the weight loss phase of your journey. You've had this huge surgery to change your life, take every opportunity to make this work for you. It may be hard at times for some, but once you adjust to your new way of life, it becomes much easier. The weight loss phase isn't going to be your forever, but it *is* the key to whether you will reach your goal or not.
Stalls, weight bouncing back and forth and the such...
I've been a member on this board for almost a year and a half. I've seen JUST about every single person talk about or experience a stall. We all have different types of losses, but many of us seem to lose in "chunks." There were times when I would lose steadily throughout the month, and then there were times when my weight wouldn't change for three weeks. After those three weeks, a loss always came...and usually it came hard and fast! My losses each month always looked good in the end, no matter what pattern I lost the weight throughout the month. There were many times during those stalls that I'd look like I was actually gaining as the numbers would bounce between 6 pounds up and down, but like I said.....the stalls were always followed by a loss.
We all have things that work for us to break a stall. Val likes her Krispy Kremes and Caesar Salad to flush things through, Haley likes crab legs in tons of butter and then buttery popcorn, many are big fans of KFC fried chicken to get things moving. (I'm one of them). Another thing that breaks a stall for some is to have 2 or 3 high carb days to shake their body up and then they go back to low carb, high protein, high fat. Another thing that can really help is to up your fluids and really push them. Try to drink double what you normally do, water is an amazing thing!
I think as SMO and MO individuals that we are so used to having success with our weight loss only to gain back, that it has become a pattern that makes it impossible for our brains to process that we are going to succeed. Keep reminding yourself that you took the plunge and went for the strongest and best WLS available to us today, and believe that your DS *is* going to work. There is so much truth to the power of positive thinking. You've done your research and you chose this surgery because you felt it was the best fit for your life. If you hit a stall, drop your carbs to under 50 grams a day, up your protein and water, and watch the magic happen! Work the rules of the DS, and your DS will work for you!!!!
What are the rules of the DS?
In my opinion, there are very few rules to living with the DS. Here are the ones I live by...
#1 You must have your labwork done every 6 months or every year (each surgeon is different on this) for the rest of your life....NO MATTER WHAT!!! There is no way around this. Labs tell you and your surgeon or PCP where your vitamin levels are. With the degree of malabsorbtion that we have with the DS, this can mean the difference between life and death, losing body parts or keeping them. I'm not messing with having things go badly for me after doing something so drastic to have a normal life again! I want to live because life after the DS is sooo good. The DS has given me what genetics slighted me. My surgeon recommends yearly lab work, I'm choosing to go for my lab work every 6 months to always be on top of the game. In addition, I have started my own file for my own copies of my labs to watch my vitamin levels and the trends that my levels are following. Also, Gina has shared a wonderful spreadsheet with me that I will be able to plug my numbers right in and look at my results all in one place! Thanks Gina! You're awesome!
#2 Vitamins are a forever commitment after the DS. Each person has to decide what their own vitamin regime will be, and labs will dictate much of what you take over the years. You need to read and learn as much as you can about the vitamins that your body will need for optimal health, and you need to stay up on the latest information as we all figure things out. (One of my biggest reasons that I plan to hang on OH over the next, Oh, I don't know.....70 years!) I take my vitamins 5 times a day. Some think that this is not manageable, but for me it's a cinch! If I'm eating, I'm taking vitamins. If I'm taking vitamins, I'm eating. These two things go hand in hand. I take my pills at breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime, and I take vit C and my iron at 3 am when I'm ALWAYS awake to go pee. I have two pill reminders that I got at Walmart. They each have 28 compartments. 4 compartments for each day, and there are 7 days in each compartment. I have a tupperware container where I store all of my vitamins, and twice a month I fill both of my pill minders with everything I'm going to need for the next two weeks. When I run out of a vitamin, I set the empty bottle on my microwave as a reminder that I have two weeks to get those pills purchased at the store or online. When it is time to take pills, I just dump the compartment that it's time to take into my hand, and it's totally fool-proof. I typically grab my pill reminder anytime I walk out the door to make sure that if I'm gone longer than planned that i have my pills with me. I also carry a one week pill minder in my purse that has tons of calcium and multi's in it, just in case I didn't bring my big pill container. This is the system that works for me.
****Important**** THERE WILL NEVER BE A TIME IN YOUR LIFE AFTER YOUR DS THAT VITAMINS WILL NOT BE IMPORTANT. This truly is a matter of LIFE AND DEATH. Just because you THINK you're getting all you need from your foods because you maybe have the perfect diet, I promise you that it isn't so. I for one, like having all of my arms and legs, and all of my innards functioning correctly. I value my life and vitamins are not something that you can become lax on just because you don't feel like doing it anymore.
#3Protein, protein, protein! Protein is a building block for MANY functions of our bodies. After the DS we DO NOT absorb all of the protein we eat, so it's important to shoot for 100 grams of protein or more a day. Of course for many new-ops, that number is hard to hit. Some of us are able to do it, and some of us aren't. So long as you get 30 grams of protein by 30 days, 60 grams by 60 days and 90 grams by 90 days, you should be fine! Always STRIVE for more, but don't come down on yourself if you can't get more. It's okay to not be perfect in the beginning, you're starting out with a new life and it takes time to adjust. My suggestion is to find a protein drink you can tolerate and try to get two of them in everyday until you can eat the protein from all of your food. My favorite is Champion Nutrition Banana Scream. The New Whey vials are tolerable, but I don't recommend actually ever TASTING them. I plug my nose, drink it down, and follow it with something like a glass of milk and a couple of cubes of cheese...all the while still plugging my nose. If you really wanna taste the stuff, don't worry! You'll get a preview of it when you burp in a few minutes! Lol! Vitalady has lots of sample proteins on her website and I recommend having several already waiting for you when you get home from the hospital to try and see what suits you best. Don't spend a ton, just have enough to sample and get you through a week or two, and then when you find the one you like, order it pronto!
#4Low carbs. This one is most important during the weight loss phase of your journey. The DS really is an amazing surgery and works quite well for most of us. Carbs really are the nemesis during the weight loss phase of your journey. Keeping them low will get you to goal faster, and by keeping them low you're also keeping cravings at bay. Our chemistry changes when we keep our carbs low, and doing this after the DS is relatively easy. When you focus on getting in all of your protein, there is little room for much else for many, many months. If you start getting a taste of carbs early out, the carbo man or sugar slut can take hold of you and prevent you from getting to your goal. I haven't been perfect about avoiding carbs through my weight loss phase, but I've done pretty good. I stayed under 50 grams a day from day 1 through 2 months, I stayed below 75 grams of carbs from months 2-4, and I stayed below 100 from months 4-6. At 6 months out I could see that I needed to start upping my carbs to SLOW my loss, and I've been eating around 200-300 grams of carbs a day since then. This will vary for everyone....you have to find your own comfort zone. LadyDi made a comment to me when I was a pre-op that has always stayed with me. She said something like, "Make the commitment to stay as low carb as possible until you reach your goal. When you're at goal, you can start toying with carbs then. At that point you'll already be thin and you can watch your scale closely. If you see your weight creeping up, cut back on the carbs." It's that easy. The weight loss window is said to be between 18 months to three years. It's an easy commitment to make to have a lifelong freedom with eating. You can cut back on carbs, and doing so will help you to reach the goal we all so desire to be at.
I'm scared I will I lose my hair....
This one hits close to home for me. My hair thinned from about months three to five after my DS, and then I had to have a hernia repair during my fifth month post op. After the hernia repair, my thin hair started falling out in clumps instead of strands. The stress of 2 surgeries in 5 months time, in addition to a huge weight loss in a short amount of time did me no favors. If there was anyone that wasn't going to lose their hair...it was me! I was getting 90+ grams of protein by my 6th day out from surgery. By the end of week two, I rarely got below 100 grams of protein and never ever under 90 a day. I always got in my 64 oz of fluid from week 2 on, and I even took Biotin, Selenium and Zinc. I was doing everything the way I was supposed to, to avoid hair loss. But I still lost. Ten days out from my hernia surgery in Dec. I bought my first wig. I loved it! It didn't look perfect, but it looked better than staring at my practically bald scalp. If you'd like to know more about buying a wig, check the blog posted 2 below this one and I have info there. I wore my wig from Dec 14th until April 2nd when I went and got a very sassy and short do. It looks pretty okay too! Now that I have lost my hair, worn a wig for months, and now have had to have my hair cut extremely short, ask me if I'd do it all over again. Go ahead. HELL YES!!! I'd do this every single year of my life to be free from obesity. Hair is JUST hair and it's GOING to grow back eventually. Now I get to start over with a new crop of hair and I'm really enjoying it! The bonus is that I'm thin enough now to pull off a short hair cut for as long as I need to. I would've never done this at my highest weight!
What about loose skin? I don't wanna have loose skin........
Okay, chances are, if you are big enough to qualify for WLS, and you then have WLS, you're going to have some loose skin. It isn't normal for skin to stretch the way we've stretched it when we are MO or SMO, and it's impossible to think that you're going to have a perfect body without some type of plastic surgery in your future. Some of us have a lot of loose skin, some of us only have certain problem areas, and many go on to live a normal life with their loose skin without issue. I for one, would rather have loose skin and go on to live a long healthy life, than to have continued being MO and having skin that fits me perfectly, but dying young from my comorbidities. I've never heard of anyone dying from having loose skin. Believe me, it's WELL WORTH the trade off. Something that I'm doing until I'm able to have an abdomnioplasty is wearing Spanx. This is a hose-like undergarment that goes from just below my bra to the mid thigh. These are very comfortable, moveable and breathable...and it really helps to tame all of the loose skin in my mid-section. You can also get an identical product made by the same company as Spanx at Target. The line there is called Assets. These really help to slim me and feel confident with my excess skin issue. (I've gotten a tummy tuck since posting this in April. It's been the next best thing to the DS! My stomach was my main problem area, and now that I've had it tucked, I feel very comfortable in my skin. Sure I could use other work on my skin, but I'm really working on acceptance at this point).
Have I broken my DS?? I haven't lost weight in XX amount of time.
Refer to the stalling question above. And also, chances are that you're not going to be the person that breaks their DS. I know that we all feel insecure at different times in our journey's, but if you feel like things aren't going well with your DS, sit down and make a list with two columns. One side listing what you're doing right. The other side listing what you may be doing wrong. Then you need to re-evaluate what you're doing and figure out why things aren't working. If you're doing everything right and you're stall just won't end, have some patience. Chances are, if you're eating low carb, high protein, and high fat, you will eventually see progress. Be patient with your body, you're going through a lot. Your body is changing at a rate that it has probably never seen before.
Is this going to get better, EVER??
Yes, but not right away. You need to give yourself the gift of 4-6 weeks to recover. (This time varies by each person, and whether you have your DS laparascopically or open. Mine was open and I felt pretty good around 2 weeks, but I still needed time to adjust and get used to my new routine). Take care of yourself and take time to adjust to this new life you've been given. The DS is a blessing, and if you follow the simple rules it can set you free from your obesity. During your recovery you need to really focus on you. It's okay to not be a super-hero during this time, no one should expect you to be normal yet. My routine went something like this. Wake up around 8am. Take vitamins, eat protein rich breakfast, take a walk to get the food to move down, I would try to drink at least 12 oz of water during and after my breakfast, and do incentive spirometer. If I felt like taking a shower, I would do that. If not, it was back to the recliner in my bedroom for a nap. I set my alarm to make sure to wake up and get started all over again. I'd wake up, take vits, eat protein lunch, walk, do incentive spirometer, and try to drink 12 oz fluids. Sometimes I'd feel like hanging with the kids, sometimes I'd head back for another 1-2 hour nap. Then I would usually do a protein drink around 4 in the afternoon and take my vits. Back out for another walk, trying to get in 12 oz fluids and doing my incentive spirometer. I was usually ready to eat some more protein or another protein shake by 7 pm and would be trying to drink the remaining amount of my fluids through the evening hours. I would get in one more protein snack around 10 pm and then when that had digested I'd take my bedtime vits and head to bed. It *is* a full time job, but if I can do it, I promise anyone can!
If you feel like things are never going to get better, just come onto OH and look at all of the post ops that are living life to it's fullest. It *DOES* get better, just believe that it will....and in no time you'll be chugging along like the rest of us. There really is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it isn't shining brightly for you right now.
In closing....
Try to relax and enjoy this amazing ride! Try not to worry about every little thing that is happening, or not happening. You're going to have good days and bad days, some of us will get to goal and some of us won't, in the end we are all just striving to have healthier lives than we have/had as Morbidly or Super Morbidly obese people. I'm always happy to help anyone in any way that I can!
UPDATE III
May 27, 2008
Well 39.1 pounds down.... 254.6lbs Beginning to feel normal, "as it were". Can't remember being in the 250's since I don't know when.....
So... This is still a major learning curve. Everything that pertains to regular dieting needs to be thrown out the window. 2 weeks ago was a
downer for me, the weight was barely moving and I considered myself a failure. But with support from you all and information on the web, I
discovered the necessity to eat and drink more, 2 liters a day minimum, which I am building up to... . The scales responded and I am down another 4lbs in a week.
This surgery continues to teach me lessons in control, life and labels... Have you ever noticed that the lower the fat the higher the
carbs? Well I certainly have, carbs at the moment above 30mg are a huge NO NO... Hence I now have full fat everything, of course in moderation,
but I am not afraid of mayo, full milk etc. Last night I was reading my cook book ( specifically targeted to surgery patients) and realized, I
can eat a lot more variety, so that was encouraging.... No I won't have a repetition of Japanese knife dropping. The ankle is healing well though the scar is nasty. But it was suggested to me by my sister that I get a lovely tattoo to cover it!! Good idea, all in good time!
All of my cravings and the desperation for food have disappeared and have been replaced instead with the necessity to eat, simply because we
have to. I thought I would never say this, but I actually have to force myself to eat and drink.. Not good as a whole but hey every day is a new
day and a chance to learn something new.
The down side of all is a sensitive stomach and intestines especially when sleeping subconsciously on my tummy. Excessive gurgling of insides
when digesting certain foods.... I must say I do miss fruit and veggies plays havoc on the digestive system... I had wee piece of apple the
other day and it was heaven.. However watermelon is a dream.. The nausea is still present though not every day and not as severely. I am back to having a hard time with the vits making me feel quite sick.
I have a nasty feeling the fibro may be returning, but trying to banish the thought. Over the week-end I became very stiff again, which is a
tell tell sign, for short periods of time, still no pain. I am so happy to be off ALL pain meds that I hope it stays away or at least
"dormant"... Sitting for too long is troublesome.. But otherwise I am doing really well.
The most "interesting" thing I have found with this surgery is I can feel the whole digestive process. It feels weird, not painful, just odd rather amusing in a strange kind of way. I don't know how it's possible perhaps because it's still quite soon after surgery..
Anyway in conclusion at 8 weeks out, I am doing much better, my spirits are high and I finally feel my new life is beginning slowly... I will
send pics when I hit the 60lbs mark... yeah 21 pounds to go....
This was originally written May 6th.
May 26, 2008
