MissDani

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Ok  I have decided (again I know  ) that I am going to have get a lap band . I was apporved for surgey in July the problem I have now is that getting time off . Our time is off policy is frist come first serve basis. No PTO will be honored from Dec 10-Jan10. I dont see any areas on the calender that I can get a clear 2 weeks off without running into someone elses time. I dont know what else to do. I may have to wait unitl next year. I don't plan on telling antbody at work because of all the WLS bashers. Its going to be hard enough as it is without  other people negative energy.   I told my best friend that im having a lap band. She is not happy about it but I gotta do what I feel is best for me. She asked me am I ready  for sagging skin, eating small meals, vomitting, and diarrhea. I said  I'm tired of my  knees hurting everytime I wear heels, sweating without minminal effort, looking at all the clothes in my closet that I cant wear. Why is it that the negative stuff about WLS is talked about more than the positive. I dont understandit Everybody don't get sick from WLS.Are there side effects? Hell to yea. Anyway OH off to do more brainstorming . Unitl next time OH.

Ok I havent posted in a while and I got a lot on my mind. Ok I had a mamogramand and a ultra sound. Glory be to God that no lump was found but check this out My doctor wants a second opinion. Why? I didnt go to the appt I decided to be more aggressive about SBE. Ok I have been approved for  my Lap Band. But for some reason I wasn't excited about it at all I guess I expected to be deined . My best friend feels that I can lose the weight on my own because I have before. My new boyfriend feels the same way. I understand their point of view. I was encouaged try for another six months and if  I cant lose the weight then try surgery honestly The though of  another diet depresses me and In my mind I saying hell no. Haven't I suffeered enough! shit.I'm tired of walking like I'm 80 years old  and wearing plus size clothes  I realized that his surgery will be a lifesyle change but I need some help to lose this weight. I am a emotional eater. I have a tendency to eat my feelings away. I know that is something that I need to work on. I dont know how long a insurance approval lasts I definitly dont want to redo a nut/pysch visit I owe $600 now because insurance does not cover it.  Anyway I will continue to pray about it but leaning toward  December surgery date. so I can start off the new year right. Well unil next time OH.

Ok  I had to redo my nut and psyh visits so thats done.  The dietican wants me to start a diet before surgery  so that has been a struggle but I know I need to do it so I will get rid of all of the coke and bad foods  that I have  in the pantry. I had my well woman  exam yesterday and the doctor found a lump in my right breast. Well hopefully its nothing I have a mammogram scheduled tomorrow at  2PM.  Hopefully I can get everything  submitted this month for insurance approval.   The paln is to start changing my diet. The fat girl iinside is  not giving up without a fight. lol

Ok  I realized that I have spent so much time being obessed with having a man, getting married that I haven't been enjoying life as well as I should. So what if I'm 31 y/o with no man and no kids. I realized that  there is more to life than that.  My new life motto is to enjoy my life as it now  I am leaving my house more trying to expose myself to new views. I realized that I am all good all by myself and I don't need a man to validate me. My right knee is better the MRI showed fluid on the knee but no tears. My doctor did tell me that I needed to lose weight and what I was going to do about. I told him what I needed from him. So I  On the WLS front my mind is made up about the lap band the only way I wont have it is there is a medical conflict. I having issuse with acid reflux and concerned that the band may make it worse.  I just wish that people would stop trying to tell me that oh you just need to montior your portions and excercise if it were that easy there would be no obese people.  I messed up when I told one of my co workers that I was researching wls. I  hate when people that never had a weight problem tell that bullshit sit your skinny ass and shut the fuck up!  I don't like to be  rude to people but I about to go there with a few people that I told about my decision (emphasis on "my decision")  Ok  until next time OH.  

Ok  got my TSH done I will call DrSpegiel office so it can get submitted. I feel ready to do this I wish I had done this last year when I had everything done. Well that is water under the bridge.  I am realizing that I have a tendency(sp)  to people please at times a let people have their way in arguement becauase I don't like to argue and put up with b%llsh!t in realationships because i don't want to be alone. I feel that its okay to have my opinion and feelings. I done with holding on to bad realtionships. When meet a guy that the conversation not right I move on quick. Ok on to my right knee it has been bothering me for some time. I know that  my weight  289 is not helping.  so the x-ray says that me knee is ok. But when I walk it feels like it is popping in out of place So I
 will have a MRI this week. Im praying that  the tear in my menicus is minor and that no surgery is required. I have enough time up for my lap band surgery. This is my year to be healthier. and lose weight. I 'm claiming it!  Ok until next time OH

I went and saw Dr Spegiel.on Tuesday for a consult. I had my mind made up about the lap band. However Dr Spegiel recommended that I have a bypass instead of a band because I am 287  5"3  I should be 150 pounds so I would need to lose 130 pounds  I want to lose a100 lbs.  He said that with the band I am expected to lose 50% of my excess weight  with the bypass 80 % I would hate to have the band only to lose 50 pounds. I undestand that this is a major lifestyle change. What scares me about the bypass is the intestines are rerouted and the excess skin.The band  I'm nervous about erosions, slippage and possible replacement 5 or10 years.I don't like needles so those fills yikes. So now that I have that info from Dr Spegiel I need to figure out what to do. 
So i will more research on bypass. because I have done a lot research on the band already.  Ok I will keep posting unitl next time OH

Ok it has been a minute since I blogged I finished the 6 month diet and pysh and nut eval. I let people around me change my mind because of the complications of the surgery and fear of excess skin.I changed jobs and the job changed too had no insurance plus  I thought that I can lose the weight on my own I started a diet in january and lost 9 pounds.  I got sick and I broke up with my boyfriend plus other stressors I fell off the wagon then I realised that I'm tired of diet after diet.I tired of being tired. I have no energy at all. I came to the realization that I need and want help to lose this weight.  I have regrets about not  staying with the job a little longer to have the surgery. I could be much smaller now. Thursday I decided that I was going to do it for me I am the only one that has to live with the decision  I hope that the insurance covers it and that I don't have to redo the diet.  Well  until next time OH.

Ok  I try to be a positiv e person but this damn job whooooooooooosaaaaaaaaaaa! I just want to slap the fire out of somebody everytime I ask them to do something they want to ask why and challenge me? What the fu@#? I am the mf charge nurse and it my licsence you playing with.  Sit  down or lay down bitches.Ok  I'm trying to stay because I need the insurance to pay for this surgery. But I have no peace of mind when I work there. I hate being  going I used to like but not anymore. Anyway  I feel so close to my goal I that I  don't want to quit now. Ok here my other issue.   I completed my pysch evual and nut visit with the first surgeon that I had I thought that it would do but now my case worker at Dr Spegiel office say I have to do it over whattttttttttttt  the hell  It is not even a year old I think that is total bullschit. I schedueled those for 4/10/08 but it is going to cost me $250  Gosh damnit  Plus she wanted me to get my records from my pcp and hand deliver them to her   My PCP office charges $25 for those if I get but they fax them to any MD office for free. Gas is 3.15 The office is not next door  to my house. I am a single woman on one income. Is  this bitch is crazy I told her that I will get pcp office to fax them to her .I never had a problem with them faxing anything that I needed done. The case worker says that she will only try to get records from that office twice then after that it is up to me. What the hell? I know that my input is needed but this bitch needs to do her mf job and stop being lazy. Ok rant is over. I feel better now 6 more days unitl this diet is over.

OK I went to a seminar with Dr Spegiel. He is a very nice surgeon. I like that fact that he knew what he was talking about and was honest about the surgeries. Well he told me that I am healthly enough for the bypass or the band.  I understand that I will only be able to eat  small amounts of food. But with the band I will not be able to eat bread I am not a bread fanatic but I would like to be able to eat  a little. With the bypass I will be able to eats some bread and pasta.  So I am expericning a little indecision about band vs bypass. I am staying at my current job b/c  I need the insurance to pay for it. I want to leave the job after I have it done. So that is why I am leaning towards the bypass b/c I wont have to go in for fills. I learned something interesting during the seminar. Dr Spegiel said that  the excess skin depended on genetics not the surgery.   Well I will keep praying for a answer and keep reseaching .  Month 5  of diet will be over in 13 days. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS! 

 Okay here's the story. I go to see the dietitcan with Dr. Marvin. So I lost 4 more pounds yeah! Anyway she tells me that Dr. Marvin has left Obesity Surgery Specialist. So the new dr is Dr Nouzarian. I signed the paper to transfer my care to him but after a few days I just didn't feel right.  I'm sure he is a good surgeon but he may not be right for me. Well I have a consult to see Dr Spegiel. I have heard a lot of good things about him He has done 6000 bands wowwww. Okay I will update with my final decision. 
5 months down 1 more to go. I can't believe that I'm closer to getting by band.