mrsmac31796
My current truth.
Oct 22, 2009
Like it or not, I'm trapped. Physically and emotionally I am trapped in this body and for a very long time, I've not had the strength or courage to change that permanently. Have you ever KNOWN what you needed for yourself but felt it selfish to put it at the forefront because there were others whose needs you felt were more important?
If so, welcome to my world.
I am 62 days away from turning 40 and let me tell you, this year has been full of introspection. I have been living my life for the comfort of others and this year, I am finally waking up. I find that I am sometimes bitter and resentful because those that I have sacrificed myself for don't understand or acknowledge how much I have denied myself so that their needs could be met and desires could be realized. In the mean time, I took scraps...a little for myself here and there but never, and I really think I mean never, put myself first. An interesting observation for me because I have always considered myself sort of selfish. I want things when I want them, but generally what I want is for someone I love.
I have just recently come to the conclusion that I need to put myself first, and more importantly, that it isn't selfish for me to do so when it comes to my health.
I have a loving family. I have an amazing marriage of 13+ years. My husband knows about my intent to have WLS and is completely supportive. I hope he remains that way. In either case, I'm determined to stay the course and follow my journey wherever it leads.
I've told my husband and my mother about my intentions but haven't told anyone else. I really don't want to hear the opinions of those who haven't been in my situation. Not yet. My first appointment is the 12 of November. It's a group informational meeting and my husband will be attending with me.
I'll keep you posted. :)
0 comments
If so, welcome to my world.
I am 62 days away from turning 40 and let me tell you, this year has been full of introspection. I have been living my life for the comfort of others and this year, I am finally waking up. I find that I am sometimes bitter and resentful because those that I have sacrificed myself for don't understand or acknowledge how much I have denied myself so that their needs could be met and desires could be realized. In the mean time, I took scraps...a little for myself here and there but never, and I really think I mean never, put myself first. An interesting observation for me because I have always considered myself sort of selfish. I want things when I want them, but generally what I want is for someone I love.
I have just recently come to the conclusion that I need to put myself first, and more importantly, that it isn't selfish for me to do so when it comes to my health.
I have a loving family. I have an amazing marriage of 13+ years. My husband knows about my intent to have WLS and is completely supportive. I hope he remains that way. In either case, I'm determined to stay the course and follow my journey wherever it leads.
I've told my husband and my mother about my intentions but haven't told anyone else. I really don't want to hear the opinions of those who haven't been in my situation. Not yet. My first appointment is the 12 of November. It's a group informational meeting and my husband will be attending with me.
I'll keep you posted. :)
