mschelle73

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I have hesitated to get involved in discussion very much because I hadn't even gotten my surgery approved by BC/BS.  I got that approval on December 19th.  So, I am on my way.  I guess a little about me would be appropriate at this point.  I have been overweight since I was about 10 years old.  I have been considered morbidly obese since I was in the 7th grade.  Like most in similar situations, I felt like it was my own fault and I should be able to control it.  Additionally, others reinforced that idea.  We all know how it works.  In elementary school, other kids pick on you and make fun of you because you are bigger.  When you get in junior high and high school, if they don't make fun of you, they just ignore you.  Now fortunately, I had some good friends in high school.  I will tell you though, you do a lot of stupid things in your youth to try to sooth that hurt from being different.  Of course, I had the sister that was alway little, majorette, Miss Popularity.  Not that it was her fault either.  But if I had a nickel for every time I heard, "Why can't you be like your sister?"  I could afford this surgery and any necessary cosmetic surgery after the fact without insurance being involved!  So, you go through bad relationships because you think you can't do any better.  Until eventually, it's where you don't even care if you have a relationship.  I had my son at the age of 23.  The best thing that ever happened to me.  I'm not going to say that it stopped me from being stupid, that would be a total lie.  I had to go through a few more years of battling myself, along with everyone around me.  So, why now?  My son is 11 years old.  I don't want him to be embarrassed by me in a couple of years when he gets to be a teenager.  Now, he is a very sweet kid.  We are very close, because it's always been just he and I.  But I don't want to put unnecessary stress on him.  My dad's health has been an issue for at least the last 10 years, and I don't want my son to have to worry about me like we have had to worry about my dad.  Plus, I want to be a good example for him.  I don't want to be using a cane or walker at 40 because my joints can't take anymore.  I don't want to be taking 12 medications a day to control hypertension, cholesterol, depression, diabetes, arthritis, etc. etc.  I am at a place in my life where I have the support, even though not all of my family are supportive of my decision.  I have a boyfriend that supports me whether I have the surgery or not.  But, we agree that it's best for my health.  I have friends that support my decision.  As long as I have friends and my mother in my corner, I will be ok.  As I told my dad though, I am not looking for them to be as excited as I am.  I am asking for their support during a surgical procedure and for them to support my son, because I know he is going to be nervous.  I guess I have babbled on long enough.  So for now.......