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I am so glad I had this surgery!  I am becoming the old me again.  I am truly loving life.  Everyone thought I did before but they had no idea how much I was hurting on the inside.  It feels so good to be in control of me!   I'm at 197 now.  I haven't been out of the 200's in years.  I know I still have a ways to go but I do see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm still really tired but I've slowed things down and I'm trying to just take life easy. 

I am just exhausted!  I've been directing a musical and I am worn out.  It is a success.  We will complete the run this weekend and I am so ready to have it over with.  I've enjoyed it but mentally and physically my body is screaming at me!!!  It is all I can do to make myself go to work right now.  I miss not enjoying my job and right now I am too tired to.  I've been so busy I really haven't had time to exercise either.  I am looking forward to watching some t.v., getting my house back in order, cooking, exercising, playing with my son and enjoying my time with my husband too.  I'm so ready to have a life again.  I'm also excited to see how much the weight loss will pick up when I start exercising.  I am really getting lots of comments from people now and some people are almost not recognizing me!  It's fun.  I'm looking good in clothes again!!!  I'm almost out of clothes that fit or at least look good !  I've got to get to the consignment store so I can sell some of my fat clothes so I can be stylin again!

I read back over last months post and I just thought the weight loss was slowing down!  I have lost almost 20 more lbs!  I am down 46 lbs. now.  My goal was to lose 40 by the time I had to start back to work.  I beat that goal!  I now have a new goal.  I want to have lost 75 by Christmas!  It will be work but I know I can do it!  I have never had a day of regretting this or the blues.  Usually by the afternoon I am pretty tired though!  I started back to work last week and that has really wiped me out!  I am keeping up with the vitamins and I know that helps.  My main challenge will be getting the exercise in.  I am just going to have to wake up earlier in the morning.  It feels so wonderful to get the attention and compliments.  I love looking in the mirror and feeling proud of myself.  It is not an easy road but with the assistance of the surgery it will happen!

The weight loss has really slowed down.  I have fought to get 3 lbs off the past two weeks!  I didn't expect it to slow down this soon.  I am exercising and all that good stuff, I think my body is just going WTH is going on here!  I'm sure I will get on the scales one day and really dropped some poundage.  The day before we left for Ensenada my husband took pictures of me.  Since I am now a month out, we took pictures again last night!  It is amazing the difference 29 lbs. has made!  The pictures were very motivational.  I have lost 29 pounds dozens of times but this time it is different.  I am not suffering with hunger and cravings and I know I'm not fighting a losing battle.  I will continue to lose and beat this demon!  I am down 2 pant sizes so I know I am dropping the inches too.   I have been so fortunate to not have any complications whatsoever.  My husband was very against the surgery but he is now very impressed and optimistic.

1 week post op 12 lbs
2 weeks              18 lbs
3 weeks               26 lbs
4 weeks               29 lbs
8 weeks               44 lbs
16 weeks              62 lbs
18 weeks              67 lbs!!!!!  No longer in the 200's!!
6 1/2 months         85 lbs --weight loss has slowed down
                           but losing lots of inches

A Little Ensenada Info
I am feeling so fabulous!  In fact I will paste some
letters I sent to friends and family about all of my
adventures!  My surgery was open so the recovery time
for it is more difficult but my experience has been
fabulous.  Better than most.  There is not a dvd or
vcr player at the apt.  We brought a dvd and never
even watched it.  A LARGE majority of the tv is in
English.  And they have good cable movies.  At the
hospital the t.v. did have a vcr in it.  I was at the
hospital wishing I had a vcr tape or two because I got
so bored.  At the apt. I spent a lot of time emailing
people.  The apt.  needs scissors for changing
bandages but if you are flying you can't bring those
in a carry on.  We managed with a knife that was here.
People leave whatever drygoods they don't use so
there will be some of that still here.  A grocery
store is only about 4 blocks away.  Ask Bambi to show
you where it is.  He is wonderful.  There are plenty
of towels, blankets, hairdryer, shampoo, soap, etc.
here.  It is very nice.  In the closet there are lots
of little extras people have left.  I am leaving a big
blue pillow chairtop thing.  When you get to the apt.
it is great to turn it upside down and use it to keep
you at an angle.  It was too painful to lie all the
way down at first.  I also thankfully brought a light
sweater/jacket it gets cool in the evenings.  My
husband was fine but I think with the surgery your
body temp tends to get cooler.  Be prepared, due to all of the antibiotics, I got a yeast infection.  Try and get your body stored up with acidophelous now.  Also, be sure to bring light weight t-shirts, tank tops or camisoles to go under your binder.  You need them!  
I hope you enjoy your stay as much as we did.  I know it sounds gross but
whoever comes with you must try a fish taco.  I don't
care for seafood but these are delicious!  Here are
some of the messages I sent home. 
LETTERS TO FRIENDS:
#1
Had water no problem and today is my first day to eat.
I've had a 1/2 mashed banna and 1/2 an avacado on
toast.  I got up at 4 and just had to eat.!  I didn't
have all of that then though!  I also for lunch got a
potato and boiled it with a carrot in chicken broth
and mashed it all up.  It was soooooooo good.  I had
about 1/2 a cup of that.  At dinner I had a bowl of
chicken broth with carrots and celery in it.  I could
only eat about 1/2 of it and it was a regular size
bowl. Russ had a fish taco today.  I know it sounds
gross but it was delicious.  I just had to try it so I
took and little bite, chewed it up, savored the flavor
and then spit it out and swished my mouth out with
water!  I am not a seafood person but I do like cod
and that is what it tasted like.
#2
We walked downtown today and were gone for about 2/12
hours.  I rested a lot and took it very slow but we went about 3 miles in total.
When we got back Bambi was here.  He might come back
tonight and take us to the ocean.  We were only 1
block from it when we were downtown but didn't realize
it!  We turned back too soon.!  I know it sounds like
I am doing a lot but I am also resting a lot.  I came
back and took a 2 hour nap and then I usually go to
sleep about 8 but I am waking up around 5 am!  I am
amazed at how well I am doing.  That first day, the
pain wasn't as intense as I had prepared for but I was
still thinking, "what the hell did you do!  did it
really have to come to this?!!!!"  But now I am so
glad.
While writing Bambi came and took us down by the
Ocean.  We just had him leave us there and then we
took a ride around town.  Walked around, took in the
sites and went to dinner.  We went to a place called El Charro.  The chicken broth was delicious!  It was a great day. 
love to you and yours!  Neisha

#3
  Russ is doing great and really amazed at how
well I'm doing.  I know it's because you keep sending
prayers up for me.  It really is amazing how well I am
doing.  I love you and write again soon!  We will be
doing lots of laying around at your place when I get
home!  Its cheap and fun!  Just like you!


#4
Loved the margarita question!  I can't right now.
Eventually if I want I will be able to have just a
little.  The sugar content is so high.  I read
somewhere that people who had this surgery done would
get shitfaced just off of 4oz of wine.  So if you had
a problem with alchol before, this surgery isn't a
good idea!
The weather is beautiful.  Only about 75 degrees.  It
gets cool in the evenings and it only rains during a
particular season.  Usually in winter.  They have only
had 3.4 inches in this year.  They generally get about
20 inches a year  Crossing the border to come in was
nothing we weren't even stopped.  Leaving will be a
different story.  Bambi says they very seldom stop him
but what will take time is we are leaving in the
morning and many are leaving out to go into the US to
work @ that time.  I really do want to come back here next year!  The
flight was only like 225 each!  It is a very resonable
vacation.  Okay, now I am going to paste and earlier
message.  So if i repeat myself that is why!
This is a great area  though.  I was just telling Russ I really liked it
because it is not overrun with tourist.  Tomorrow I am
going to go and check out this resort hotel here.
That way if we want we can come back and go there.
Most of the tourist here are others from Mexico.  So
due to that the entertainment is very reasonable.  We
almost took a 45 minute boat ride today and it would
have only been 3 dollars each.  But we decided to look
around at other stuff instead.  We did ride in a
car/jeep type thing around for about 20 minutes and it
was only $1 a person.  Bambi came and picked us up and
took us downtown, we bought some meds, hammocks and
had dinner.  We were down there 4 hours.  But I take
it very slow and sit and watch people alot.  This is
definately a lot cheaper than NYC!  I'll give you lots
of details when we get home.     I am doing so
fantastico!  I am amazed. But I am taking care of
myself!  Russ looks at me crazy when I say what a
great vacation this is.  But now that I am doing so
well he is able to enjoy it too.

#5
****Got my tube out!!!!!!  Another milestone reached!  Tomorrow we will leave about 6 a.m.  and get home tomorrow night around 6:30.  Don't stop the prayers.  Thank you everyone for all of your love and support.  You have made this journey less stressful, less lonely and less painful.
Neisha and Russ


Funny story  I sent to friends about Ensenada:
Did I tell you I have a new word for vagina?  It is
baheena.  How did I come up with this you might
ask.........well from all of the antibiotics I got a
yeast infection.  One of the Dr.'s came to our apt.
took Russ to the pharmacy to get me medicine for this.
When he came back he was telling me to put this in my
baheena that night, wait a night and then the next
night again.  At first I wondered what he was talking
about and then I relized...........v's are pronounced
b, g are h's and i's are e's which makes up BAHEENA!
when he left I kept talking about my baheena and Russ
had no idea what I was talking about.  When I clued
him in we/he had a big laugh.  Laugh hurts to much for
me.  But it still happens.  Coughing is also a killer
and I've done that pretty frequently, getting the
lungs cleared out and functioning again after surgery.
For some reason I don't sleep a lot here.  I guess I'm
kinda on a natural high.  It probably also has
something to do with getting all of the sugars out of
my system.

Tomorrow morning is the big day!!!!!  I just want to thank all of you for your support.  Your words of encouragement mean so much.  I have a real peace about this.  I appreciate all of your prayers and positive energy being sent to my family and me.

I am so ready to have this surgery done.  I must admit, I am facing some anxiety.  But Dr. Aguirre is wonderful at calming my nerves.  He has emailed me numerous times and called me twice.  But everytime he calls, I go speechless.
My biggest fear is that I will have complications once I return home.  But I'm sure that is a fear everyone has.
My husband is becoming more accepting.  He told me a couple of days ago that he sure hoped I wasn't doing this for him.  I couldn't help but laugh!  I haven't done this for 10 years because of him!  It's all about me baby!  Actually it is about quality of life and sharing that with others.
I'm ready to get my progress underway and start my new lifestyle. 

I can't believe I am finally posting a blog!  This is a very emotional big step for me.  I am a very open and outgoing person but this side of me is very personal.  It is time to open this vein and let it flow.  Therapy.

I remember taking my first diet pill at age 8.  Taking my lunch to school while being on the chicken soup diet.  Making shakes for the Cambridge plan.  Going to Weight Watchers with my mom.  My mom wanted the best for me and a life of being overweight would not allow this.  I went through "chunky" phases but never real overweight.  I was always fighting it.

In high school I was quite the looker.  But that too came with a price.  Binge eating, throwing up, laxatives, fluid pills, diet pills, starvation.......but dang it!  I looked good.  I did the pageant scene.  I remember judges telling me I just needed to get more weight off of the hips.  I was 5'7" and would flucuate between 128 and 145.  At this particular time I was about 130.  I am just a curvaceous gal!  I only wish I were this "fat" again!

My weight started creeping up with college, depression and the fear of failure.  I then got into an awful marriage and then the weight became out of control.  The more I tried the more out of control I became.  Luckily, God saw me through that horrible time in my life and I am now married to  a wonderful man. We have a beautiful family and I am truely blessed. But with life so good, I still can not get control of this weight issue.
After my first marriage, while dating my current husband, I had Vertical Gastric Banding done.  My current husband was so against me doing anything like this.  So....................while he was out of state at a family reunion I had the surgery.  Needless to say it was not successful.  I lost about 50 lbs. but within the 10years of having this done, I have gained all of that back...................plus some at times.
My husband still does not want me to have this done.  He has a big fear of surgery, loves me and finds me attractive no matter what the size.  But he is coming around.  I AM DOING THIS!  My date is set for June 20th with Dr. Aguirre.
I am so tired of not physically or emotionally feeling good.  My body is telling me I've got to do something and soon!  My feet, knees and back hurt more every day.  I also might possibly have to have back surgery.  Hopefully losing this excess weight will take care of this.
I guess the reason it is so hard for me to disclose about my weight problem is because it makes me feel like such a failure.  So few people truly understand.  I'm embarrassed and ashamed that I can't get control of this and let food issues dominate my life.