nickelgirl22

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Okay...So I want to know why a guy thinks its okay to make a girl drive to see him instead of him driving to see her? I just don't get it. I'm one of those girls whose dad "dated" her so she would know how to be treated by a guy and know just exactly what is unacceptable. Not in a weird way. Just the whole picking you up at your house, opening your doors and treating you like you should be treated. I didn't listen to their advice for a long time, but the older I get and the more I realize what my dad taught me was what every girl in the world should expect from a guy...and nothing less.

In case you're wondering where this came from, I met a guy this weekend that seems to be fantastic...a sweetheart that thinks I'm amazing (who wouldn't want that? lol). He wants to take me out this evening...and that's a bit exciting...except for one thing....when he says "take me out" he means, "Drive down here (45 minutes) and we'll go out to dinner." I suggested him coming up to get me...not going to happen. I suggested meeting half way...he wasn't interested in that either. SO...I do believe I'm to the point that I just want to tell him that unless he is going to pick ME up and take ME out, we're just not going out. The last relationship I was in, I did all the driving...and we were over an hour apart. Just can't do it anymore. If I'm single for the rest of my life because I think I need to be picked up and taken out, so be it. I'm just not driving anymore.

Men...you can't live with them...and I'm pretty sure I can live without them. :)

I don't even know where to begin. My mom has been a size (or 2) smaller than me for several years now. I told her not long ago she would have to let me shop in her closet while I'm losing and going through her size because I don't want to buy a ton of clothes. So...this afternoon, I was sitting with my lil boy watching his "shows," as he calls them, and decided I would try on some of my momma's things. Wow...some stuff is too big! Mostly tops, but holy cow! I fit into a few of her pairs of pants too!!! And some not-so-lovely-never-going-to-wear-them dresses that I just decided to try on for the heck of it! :) I'm truly amazed. I lost 39 lbs pre-op and as of yesterday, had lost another 4 since surgery on Wednesday. I honestly look in the mirror now and go, "Really? Have I really lost weight?" I think before the surgery, I was so scared something would go wrong (like I would completely turn against myself and gorge out on some pizza and chips), and I would end up never having surgery. I think because of that, I really didn't see what everyone around me was seeing over the last 4 months of pre-opping. I have gotten compliment after compliment and appreciated EVERY ONE...but never saw what they did...until this weekend. :) It's been really cool...and a little overwhelming, to say the least. My mom has an outfit that when I lose 5 more lbs, it will fit perfectly. So...I told her I was wearing it to work next Monday. :) haha

Alright...I'll stop for now. Just excited about this journey!!! :)

Wow...It is SO difficult for me to believe I had my surgery already. Yes, I have the incisions and a little pain to prove it ,but I don't really feel different...with the exception of not wanting ANYTHING to eat for days. lol I sit while my family eats and could absolutely care less! I look at their dinner and because I'm so used to eating, I think "wow...I want a bite." Then...this feeling of, "Wow...I don't think I could eat a bite of that even if I really wanted to!" It's crazy. When everyone said I wouldn't feel hungry anymore, I wanted to say, "You don't know me. I will still be hungry!" But...it's true. They take out that one part of the tummy that tells me I want food, and I seriously could care less about it. I'm doing really good with my drinking. I'm thirsty quite a bit and I've really craved iced tea. I drank so much decaff tea sweetened with splenda yesterday it is unreal! lol

I am really just in awe of this whole thing. I know there will be times that get difficult for me...but I'm kind  of just on cloud 9 right now. :) Kim said the 3rd day was the worst and the 4th day I would wake up with a whole new attitude because the pain would be significantly better. Well...that was true. I went to bed in a lot of pain last night and jumped right out of bed this morning like it was no big deal. I do still have a few sore spots, but I don't feel like my insides are going to fall out! lol

I'm just so amazed at this whole entire thing. Can't believe I've done it and my life will be SO different in no time!!!

Okay...in one of my posts on the message board, I mentioned that I would put this song on my blog and what it means to me through this whole journey. I am quite an emotional eater and this song has helped me TREMENDOUSLY over the last 4 months of this amazing journey that is changing my life forever! I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me!!! Love you guys!

Moving On by Rascal Flatts

(The part in parenthesis is what the phrase means to me)
 
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
(Dealt with the things from my life that were extremely difficult and painful
and finally content with eating to ease my pains, but still regret it)
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
(Through this process, I get stronger when I fail because I'm more determined than ever to be successful)
For once I'm at peace with myself (exactly what it says;)
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
(I've blamed everyone around me my entire life because of the stuff I've been
through)
I'm movin' on (exactly what it says ;)

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
(I have done this so long, I know all the tricks in the book)
Each one is different but they're always the same
(Fast food, sweets, junk food...all the same)
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
(They aren't out to get me, but I can never change as long as I keep going for these things)
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
("Home" is where I feel most comfortable...eating...and I just don't belong there anymore...)
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
(I finally realized there IS a life out there...and I have to take steps to live it)
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
(This whole thing doesn't come with a guarantee, but there are so many people supporting me and walking beside me and others that I'm meeting during this whole thing...I'm going to make it)
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
(Exactly what those last 3 lines mean...)

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
(I've sacrificed a lot of things that I love)
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
(Took one more glance at what I'm leaving behind)
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
(I've been a good person, but haven't lived my life to its fullest)
I had to lose everything to find out
(I haven't lost anything because of my weight, but I could if I keep going down this same road)
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
(I think I'll be able to forgive myself for doing this to myself at some point...but it may take a while)
I'm movin' on
 
Hope this helps you...
 
Liz

So I'm extremely excited about my mom. She has been beside me the whole time I've been working at losing my pre-op weight. On Monday, she called and said, "Okay...I'm standing in the diet aisle staring at the bars and shakes and I need direction." :) First of all, let me just say...for her to even call for any kind of "diet" advice from someone else, is kind of a big thing. She does know that the diet I've been on is one that an actual dietician gave me and that it has been working (37 lbs of working, to be exact!). I've been doing the ketonic (sp) diet, which is 4 supplements and 2 small meals a day...eating every 2 to 2 1/2 hours, and of course....drinking 64+ oz. of water daily. :)

Mom started this diet on Tuesday. When we went to Oklahoma City yesterday for my pre-op, she took a little jug of water, a protein bar and a protein shake because we were going to be gone for several hours. Then...when we went to eat, she got meat and veggies...she said, "No bread, please." :) WOOHOO!!! Go, Momma! Then...after dinner, she goes, "Elizabeth, I didn't get off my diet!" :) I'm so proud of her. This is the 4th day, and she's still going strong!!! Big step for my mom to take. She even has goals....SEVERAL of them!!!!! ;) I love it, I love it, I love it!!!

What am I doing?!?! I decided since it was Memorial Day weekend and I still have 2 1/2 weeks to my surgery, I would let myself eat a few of my favorite family recipes. Not a lot...just a few bites of a couple of things. BAD IDEA! Now, I can't get my brain back where it needs to be! I haven't done that for 3 months!!! I've done amazingly well...and now I'm going to let some caserole and strawberry shortcake take it all back? Don't think so...I just need to get my mind lined up again. I need to focus. I can't compromise anymore. I've so got this.....

So...Today is one of those days where I want to go rock climbing, but I can't for any number of reasons...#1 being that I'm still WAY to overweight and out of shape to do so, and #2 because there are no rocks to climb around here!!! :) lol I feel so ridiculous sometimes. I want to do some of the most random things and then I just laugh at myself because I can never just go do whatever it is I WANT to do. The other day, it was a somersault. Yes...I said it...a somersault. I just have so much energy and such a desire to do it! I haven't done one since I was like 6, but sometimes, I just want to run and see if I can. Of course, I always refrain for fear that I will break something...or everything! BUT...one day...not too terribly long from now...guess who's going rock climing and somersaulting??? Yeah...you got it! This chick is gonna somersault down the aisles at the grocery store!!! ;)

See ya on the FLIP side! LOL