Nicole C.
Little Behind on this...
Jul 07, 2008
Well I have really slacked off on posting on here. I waited another week and then thought "I'm not going another week without knowing my date," so I started making phone calls and spoke to Cindy at Barix. She was wonderful. She told me exactly where I was in the process and that I should have a date by the end of the week. She also informed me that I didn't have to pay a dime for my surgery, that my insurance was covering 100% with no co-pay or out of pocket for me! That was so awesome to hear. Makes me appreciate my employer a little more. So then later that same day I heard from Janessa, the scheduler and she said the earliest date was August 27th. Now I was not happy with that but I understood that was what was available and asked her to put me on a cancellation list, which she did. Two days later she called and put me on for August 5th! That is much better, and only a month away! Yeah! My husband and I are taking our daughters to Disneyworld in November and I really wanted to have a handle on what I can and can't eat before then, plus I wanted to have lost more before then, too. So now I can!!! I'm so excited, nervous, scared, happy...all at once! My PAT's are 7/23 at 8:15. That is the beginning...just hope everything comes out fine there.
The wait...
Jun 18, 2008
I called Tracey yesterday who works in group practice for Dr. Poplawski and she said she was getting my chart together for Dr. P to review and sign off and then it would go to scheduling. She said they are scheduling for August now. That bums me out. I really wanted to have it done by mid-July. But I will take what I can get. Just waiting....and I HATE WAITING!!!!
Just so excited to start my new life! There are so many things that I don't do now because of my weight and I can't wait to not think twice about every single thing I do. I want to participate in my own life and in the lives of my husband and children. I feel like I don't spend enough fun time with my kids because I am so tired most of the time.
My family (that knows) is very supportive (less my dad who doesn't know how to be) so that is nice. I know they want what is best for me. I want to do them all proud!
Still waiting....but happy nonetheless.
Very Soon Now
Jun 17, 2008
Well my psychological FINALLY got to Barix on Friday and I talked to Vicki this morning at Barix and I have insurance approval! Yahoo! So now I wait for Dr. P to sign off on my chart and I should be scheduled. I really hope it's in the beginning of July but I will be happy with end of July or early August if I have to. My mom and husband will help out a lot so I'm not too worried about aftercare. I'm pretty tough, too, I handled two c-sections with ease so I'm hoping the pain from this surgery won't be too bad.
Went to a support group on Saturday and was a bit disappointed. There was only one other person there who was pre-op and everyone else was post. The majority of the discussion revolved around the after and the food. I understand that is an important aspect of things, but there was no structure and I didn't get any of my questions answered. Oh well. I'm loving the Barix website message boards. They are wonderful and full of wonderful people. I tried to get into the Michigan forum on here but people just don't respond much to posts and you start feeling alienated....so I will stick with where I'm happy.
I am so happy that this is going to happen. I can't wait to start my new life. To be the me I always wanted to be. I can't wait to walk into a room with my husband and have someone think "Wow, isn't he lucky?" instead of "How'd she get him?" I LOVE my husband...so much it hurts sometimes. More than anything, I just want to make him proud of me. I know he already is but this will be nice to show him what I'm really made of.
Told my dad about having the surgery and his comment was "I'll be glad when you're skinny and beautiful again." I thought that was an odd statement because honestly, I've never thought of myself as unattractive, just heavy. I'm sure he didn't mean it that way but it still stung a little bit.
Ok, that's it for today. I will post when I have a date!
Went to a support group on Saturday and was a bit disappointed. There was only one other person there who was pre-op and everyone else was post. The majority of the discussion revolved around the after and the food. I understand that is an important aspect of things, but there was no structure and I didn't get any of my questions answered. Oh well. I'm loving the Barix website message boards. They are wonderful and full of wonderful people. I tried to get into the Michigan forum on here but people just don't respond much to posts and you start feeling alienated....so I will stick with where I'm happy.
I am so happy that this is going to happen. I can't wait to start my new life. To be the me I always wanted to be. I can't wait to walk into a room with my husband and have someone think "Wow, isn't he lucky?" instead of "How'd she get him?" I LOVE my husband...so much it hurts sometimes. More than anything, I just want to make him proud of me. I know he already is but this will be nice to show him what I'm really made of.
Told my dad about having the surgery and his comment was "I'll be glad when you're skinny and beautiful again." I thought that was an odd statement because honestly, I've never thought of myself as unattractive, just heavy. I'm sure he didn't mean it that way but it still stung a little bit.
Ok, that's it for today. I will post when I have a date!
Yippee!!!
May 29, 2008
Well, it's Friday! I had my consult yesterday and it went great! I really, really liked Dr. Poplawski. He was very frank and up front but also warm and genuinely concerned about us making the right choice. He didn't sugar coat anything but isn't that what we need? It's what I needed anway. He looked over my medical history, asked me a few questions and said "you're ready. Get your psych eval done and we'll set a date." I got tears in my eyes! This is REALLY going to happen. Oh, and I had already made my psych eval appointment and it is today at 2 p.m. So theoretically, I could have a date on Monday. I am SO excited, I can't even begin to tell you how excited. So then I leave there and call my husband and he was not as excited. He says he supports me but then when I talk to him about it he seems so disinterested. That really hurt my feelings. He says that he doesn't think I know what I am getting myself in to. I think I do. For me, NOTHING will ever taste as good as being thin will FEEL!!! I can't make him be excited, I guess I can just show him that I made the right choice for myself, our kids and our marriage once the surgery is done and I am losing and healthier.
Anyway...I will post more tomorrow after my psych eval. I am so excited!
Anyway...I will post more tomorrow after my psych eval. I am so excited!
Tomorrow is Consult at Barix!!!
May 27, 2008
Well I have enjoyed reading other's blogs so I decided to start my own. Some people's blogs have REALLY helped me so maybe I can help someone with my own.
Well, for background purposes, I have been overweight since about the age of 9. I haven't always been obese, but I have always been overweight. I don't know what it's like to be a thin adult. I can't even picture it in my head. I have let others' impressions of me create a picture in my mind of someone that is disgusting to look at and just plain gross. I can remember the first time someone made fun of me for my weight, it was my paternal grandmother. I was about 9 or 10 and I was sitting on her couch with a pillow on my lap and she asked me if I was trying to hide all my fat. I remember that clearly. It really hurt my feelings. Then in 4th grade a girl in my class (Tina Foor - if you're reading this, do you know how much that hurt?) made up a song about me being fat and was singing it on the playground. That kind of stuff scars your soul, I think. Well, obviously it does something if I can remember it clearly 25 years later. Anyway, that is where it began. I was in Weight Watchers at the age of 12, was bribed by my dad with a pool if I lost 20 pounds, didn't lose the weight but got the pool anyway. Then came high school. I thought I was heavy but turns out I wasn't really (I'd give anything to weigh that now!) so I did the Acutrim, Atkins, even tried throwing up for a bit but I hate to throw up so that didn't last. I didn't have an awful life, I wasn't an outcast, in fact I had a lot of friends, but I was always the "fat one" in the group. Along with that I was also the funny one so I think that helped.
So fast forward 15 years....I am now 33, married to my wonderful husband for almost 8 years and I have two darling daughters. I work in the court system and most of the time I like my job. I have a pretty good life. There's just one problem, I hate the way I feel and the way I look. I feel like I'm not living in my body, like this fat body belongs to someone else and I've spent the last 30 years of my life trying to claw my way out of it. That is the only thing I don't like about my life - my weight and my inability to control myself when it comes to food. If I added up all the money I've spent on diets/fads/pills, etc. it would probably surpass the amount that my insurance company will spend on the surgery. It's time. I'm done fighting it alone, I need help and I need a tool that will enable me to be the me I've always been on the inside.
So tomorrow is the consult at Barix. There is a group consultation at 9 a.m. and then I meet with Dr. Poplowski after that. Thankfully the insurance I have makes this process pretty easy and hopefully quick for me. The only thing BCBS requires (due to my BMI being over 50) is a psych evaluation and I will be making my appointment for that tomorrow while I am at Barix. My hope and prayer is that I can get through this process quickly and as painlessly as possible. So far so good....
Thanks for listening and I will post more Friday!
Well, for background purposes, I have been overweight since about the age of 9. I haven't always been obese, but I have always been overweight. I don't know what it's like to be a thin adult. I can't even picture it in my head. I have let others' impressions of me create a picture in my mind of someone that is disgusting to look at and just plain gross. I can remember the first time someone made fun of me for my weight, it was my paternal grandmother. I was about 9 or 10 and I was sitting on her couch with a pillow on my lap and she asked me if I was trying to hide all my fat. I remember that clearly. It really hurt my feelings. Then in 4th grade a girl in my class (Tina Foor - if you're reading this, do you know how much that hurt?) made up a song about me being fat and was singing it on the playground. That kind of stuff scars your soul, I think. Well, obviously it does something if I can remember it clearly 25 years later. Anyway, that is where it began. I was in Weight Watchers at the age of 12, was bribed by my dad with a pool if I lost 20 pounds, didn't lose the weight but got the pool anyway. Then came high school. I thought I was heavy but turns out I wasn't really (I'd give anything to weigh that now!) so I did the Acutrim, Atkins, even tried throwing up for a bit but I hate to throw up so that didn't last. I didn't have an awful life, I wasn't an outcast, in fact I had a lot of friends, but I was always the "fat one" in the group. Along with that I was also the funny one so I think that helped.
So fast forward 15 years....I am now 33, married to my wonderful husband for almost 8 years and I have two darling daughters. I work in the court system and most of the time I like my job. I have a pretty good life. There's just one problem, I hate the way I feel and the way I look. I feel like I'm not living in my body, like this fat body belongs to someone else and I've spent the last 30 years of my life trying to claw my way out of it. That is the only thing I don't like about my life - my weight and my inability to control myself when it comes to food. If I added up all the money I've spent on diets/fads/pills, etc. it would probably surpass the amount that my insurance company will spend on the surgery. It's time. I'm done fighting it alone, I need help and I need a tool that will enable me to be the me I've always been on the inside.
So tomorrow is the consult at Barix. There is a group consultation at 9 a.m. and then I meet with Dr. Poplowski after that. Thankfully the insurance I have makes this process pretty easy and hopefully quick for me. The only thing BCBS requires (due to my BMI being over 50) is a psych evaluation and I will be making my appointment for that tomorrow while I am at Barix. My hope and prayer is that I can get through this process quickly and as painlessly as possible. So far so good....
Thanks for listening and I will post more Friday!
