Nuttin2no1
The idea of being smaller is sinking in
Oct 22, 2008
OK so yes the weight loss has slowed down but it's still coming off. Just about everyone that sees me tells me how much smaller I am but I just didn't feel it for myself. That is until recently, now when I put my hands on my hips, I actually feel hip!! not fat and pudge and then hip when pushed in but bone right there. When i sit down I can tell I don't have as much "cushioning on my behind any more. I find myself being able to "fit" in smaller spaces. It STILL amazes me that I can now go into the "normal"size restroom stall and be comfortable!! I have lost 7 more pounds and I am going to go back to the gym tomorrow to try to tone my body a little bit. Unfortunately I found out that not only do I have 3 degenerate discs I also have 2 bulging discs with one of them having a small tear and one herniated disc, So even though I have more energy to do things I still hurt while I'm doing them and after. I am still so glad that I went through with this decision to change my life for the better. Life is good today. 
Slowing Down
Aug 21, 2008
So the weight loss has started to slow down a bit. I'm so ok with that. I am now at 272lbs and for my personal goal have 72 more to lose. Im almost 9 months out so I feel Im doing pretty good. As long as I keep doing what Im doing and don't go back to old habits I know I will do fine. Its funny, I used to eat whatever my daughter couldn't finish and now I make either her or my friend eat it. I have even gotten to the point that if noone will/can eat it, and its not ok to feed to the animals then it gets trashed!! This is such a big step, because I was ALWAYS told not to waste food and to eat everything on my plate. I still don't believe in wasting food but I'm not about to force myself to eat something and take even a remote chance on streching out my pouch. I have been thinking a lot about the skin removale. I know I shouldnt stress about it but I am. I had the gastric bypass done laperscopicly and the skin removal can not be done that way. I hear the stories of people having tubes hanging out of them for any where from 1 to 3 weeks. This kinda freaks me out. I also remember how freaked I was about the tube being down my throaght for the gastric and being woken up while it was still in.... wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Also I got through it. So I need to keep my head from wandering so much about it. besides the fact that its another 9 to 11 months away from even happening.
update on weight loss
Jun 21, 2008
June 20, 2008
I have been on a platue for almost a month. I got on the scale again today and I now lost eight more pounds!! I am at 286. now it may actually be less due to the fact that I weighed myself in the evening instead of the morning. But thats still a good thing. I just need to get back to going to the gym and Im sure I will lose even more. My size 26 pants that I have recently bought are getting rather loose. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. Good because of course the whole point of having the surgery was to loose weight. Bad bacause I don't have money to keep buying smaller clothes. Oh well!! Thats what belts are for!!
I have been on a platue for almost a month. I got on the scale again today and I now lost eight more pounds!! I am at 286. now it may actually be less due to the fact that I weighed myself in the evening instead of the morning. But thats still a good thing. I just need to get back to going to the gym and Im sure I will lose even more. My size 26 pants that I have recently bought are getting rather loose. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. Good because of course the whole point of having the surgery was to loose weight. Bad bacause I don't have money to keep buying smaller clothes. Oh well!! Thats what belts are for!!
My Journey
May 27, 2008
This is a copy of my Journey/Journal that I have been keeping for myself on my computer. I feel that I should be fair and share with others my trials and tribulations as they have been doing for me.
Tammie
My Journey
I guess it all started in 2004 or 2005. A friend of mine had Gastric bypass done.
She had suggested it to me on a few occations.
My psychiatrist also started suggesting the surgery, almost every appointment I had with him. so I started to ask around and look into the surgery.
It took me until mid year of 2006 to decide to just go for it.
I went to Temple Hospital to see Dr. Meilahn. The great Dr. and his side kick Laurie saw me and said that I would be a great canidate for the surgery. At that time I weighed 394 pounds. I was also told to try to lose 15 to 20 pounds if I could. I then had to go threw a series of tests and evaluations before I could go threw with the surgery, and I had to come up with 600 dollars out of pocket to pay for what my ins. wouldn't pay for. A friend of mine took up a colection for me, with the help of my friends I soon had 400 dollars. I was making payments on a washing machine and decided to get the last 200 dollars from that. I could always wash clothes by hand. so now I was ready for all the tests and evaluations. I had to see one of their psychiatrists for evaluation, I had to meet with the nutritionalist, have my stomache checked, heart checked and a sleep evaluation. all came back clear and I was ready to go in july of 2006. However, My ins. had other plans. somthing about Temple Hospital becoming a member of excellence. so over a year after all my testing was done my ins. finally decided that Temple was now a member of excellence. I also changed my ins. same day I found out, just to try and get the surgery to go threw faster. I was going nuts waiting... people constantly asking when I am going to have the surgery, if I had it yet. I had a new appointment with Dr. M, I was now 374, this being over a year later. Yes I only lost 20 pounds in over a year. my surgery date was made for Nov. 27. I had to go on a liquid diet 2 weeks before, clear liquid diet the day before. while on the clear liquid diet I got a phone call from Nyeesha, my surgery will be cancelled and a new appointment for Dec. 4th was made. I was at 355 from the liquid diet. But I was aloud to eat some food for the following week. I chose some foods that I was craving while on the liquid diet, stromboli was the first one. It tasted so good to. So after I ate a couple things for the last time that I was craving I went back on the liquid diet. The day before my suregery I did a clear liquid diet.
Day of surgery:
Dec, 4, 2007
I was to be in the hospital at 5:45am. My mom came over around 4:00am. My friends husband Jeff also came over around 4:05am. We left out and got to the hospital around 4:30am. The doors were locked and the gaurd wouldn't let us in until 5am
we enter at 5am. do what little paper work had to be done and they take us up to short procedure unit. I get a cup to pee in, yeah.
they take my mother and myself up to another room. I change into a hospital gown, foot booties and a hair cap. I give my mom a hug and kiss and tell her I'll see her in a few hours. They transport me to a room full of people getting ready for surgery, its the prep~room, go figure. I sit in there for about an hour when the anisteialogist came in asked me how much I weighed. I told him about 360. he was very nice he actually said he thought I was more in the 200s. I just laughed and said thank you. about half an hour later Dr. M and Laurie came in. Asked me some questions. everything was fine and I just had to wait for them to get the operating room ready. around 8:15am they transported me to the operating room. I met with some of the people that were in there. I don't remember their names but they seemed nice. I guess that was a good thing since they were about to see me in a my glory. I moved onto the operating table, which was actually padded and warm, however not very wide. I really didn't think that I would fit on it. but I slid onto it anyway. the last few things I remeber was them placing my arms on side boars and strapping them down.
As they woke me up all I could think was "What the fuck did I do to myself?" I could feel the tube that was still down my throat. All of a sudden it started to feel real uncomfortable and I started gagging, even though it was only down one side of my throat. They removed the tube right away. and all was well again, except for the horrible pain.
I think I was taken to my hospital room after that, its not completely clear. I saw my mom and Jeff waiting there for me. My mom called my daughter Charlie to let her know I was doing good.
I got to talk to her to tell her myself that I was good. I was so happy to hear her voice. I was at this time on a morphine pump that I could hit every 5 minutes if I wanted to. If I'm correct it was only 1ml at a time. I told my mom and Jeff to head out it was about noon by then. I just couldn't see them sitting there any longer. I layed in the bed for maybe a few hours, then it was time to try and get out of bed and into a chair. No problems so far, I didn't even get sick when I moved. Very good thing. I was bored already. It turned out that to watch T.V. cost 6 bucks a day and I just refused to pay that. So no T.V. or anything, well I did have my cell phone at least. I started making my phone calls to people to let them know all was well. so I sat there prtty bored. I still had a cathider in, and a tube hanging out of my stomach with a bulb at the end collecting a bloody fluid into it. That was kinda weird but under the gown so I didn't have to think about it. Later that evening I got up and started to walk. A nurse walked around the halls with me. I was in so much pain but I made it. I had a lot of upper back pain along with the stomach pain. The morphine didn't work that well so they gave me a shot of Toradal, non narcotic pain medicine. That worked a lot better.
I was so tired by 9:30pm I decided to try to get to sleep. around 12am I was wide awake from the nurses talking right at my door. Lucky me, my room was right infront of the nuses station. (nurses do not care if you are sleeping or not they do not talk quietly during the night shift)
Day 2:
Dec.5, 2007
A nurse came in around 5:30 am to check my vitals. I got out of bed around 6am. I still had nothing to drink. I was only aloud to swab my lips and mouth. All I wanted was a friggin drink. I was finally given a drink, 1oz of water, around 7am. I had to sip it very slowly. It all went down fine and I was able to "drink" from then on. I got up and walked around the halls again in the morning. when I was done I couldn't wait to sit back down. As I sit in the chair I'm am bored out of my mind. In the afternoon the nurse comes in and removed the cathider, then drained my bulb of bloody juice. I was so ready to go home already. I kept asking when I would be able to get going. Every minute seemed like forever. They told me I had to pee to leave. I got washed up with some soapy wash rags. I sat in the chair some more and was still bored!! Then Dr. M finally came in to see me around 4pm. He gave me the ok to go home!!!
around 6pm I finally got to leave the hospital. Got home around 7:30 after getting the medicine.
At home:
Dec.6, 2007
I met with my in home nurse and she gave me my first injection of blood thinner. Got a shower and had to rest.
Dec 7,2007
I was shown how to give myself the injection. walked up the steps twice. I was on clear liquid diet since I came home. It was Sunday or Monday when I decided to step on the scale. I was at 340. I couldn't believe it. I could actually go to my family Dr. and have them weigh me now, and fit on the scale. I started on full liquid diet on Tuesday, 1 week after my surgery. Wednesday I had an appointment with Dr. M to see how I was doing. Turns out I am doing great!! I still have a little bit of pain in my left side where they stitched my old stomach to my mucles. Every now and again I have very sharp pain with burning in that spot. I have been able to move better since I first got home. I can get in and out of bed a lot easier.
Dec. 15, 2007
Went to cusin Kathy's for the holiday party. I couldn't eat anything there. But it was nice to go anyway. By the end I was in a lot of pain. Got home and went right to bed.
Dec. 17, 2007
I weighed myself again. I'm at 337.4 pounds now. Still having some pain.
Dec. 18, 2007
In a bit of pain but trying my best not to take any pain medicine. I only have 2 left and I only want to use them when in severe pain. I'm mostly very uncomfortable.
Dec. 20, 2007
I went to see the family Dr. yesterday. He says that everything looks good. He does seem worried about my intake of vitamins. He gave me some more pain meds. Thankfully, because this morning I woke up in major pain. I was in pain all day. I ended up taking a pill in the afternoon and one in the evening.
Dec.21, 2007
I slept almost normal last night. I was on my side almost all night. I woke up with my back hurting and I realized I need a new bed. As far as my side and stomach are concerned I'm feeling pretty good. very mininmal pain. I have a lot to do today so I will have to see how much pain I'm in after I'm done everything.
Dec.29, 2007
The past week hasn't had too many differences. I went to the gym yesterday and the day before. I personally feel that I'm doing pretty good. I walk on the tredmill and sometimes even work on my chest and upper arms. I'm trying not to take the pain pills at all any more. but I can do so much more if I take one before going into the gym. I also weighed myself there, I'm 324 now. I have been able to eat pretty much anything, so I know I have to be careful with what I'm eating. Plus it has been said that just because it agrees with me now doesnt mean it will another time. I went over a week without having a B.M. and I finally passed it yesterday. I'm buying some prune juice today so that I don't go threw that again. Besides waking up in the O.R. in all that pain with the tube still down my throat yesterday was the worse part of this whole thing so far. I'm sleeping on my stomach/ side again. I'm as comfortable as I can be. At the same time I'm waking up in pain again. I can't afford a new bed. I will be going to the chiro on Jan. 8th. I'm hopeing that he can help me. I just feel like I'm doing really well. My next appt with Dr. M is set for Jan.11. I really can't wait. I have been taking my multi vitamins and the tums and the b12.
Jan.19, 2008
I feel like a failure again. I havent lost much of anything since the last time I typed on here. I am having pain again in my side, where the Dr. says that they sewed my old stomach to my muscle.
I feel like I had this surgery for nothing!!
This SUCKS!!
Jan.22, 2008
Um, yea I decided not to weigh myself each week. I really don't feel like this surgery worked for me. I know my mother always told me that I had an iron stomache, but come on. This is not the time to have one. I have been able to eat anything at this point. I mean yes I have to chew until the food is liquidfied first. No I can't eat as much at one sitting as I was able to before, But I just feel like nothing is happening at this point. I really hope that I didn't go threw all that pain and suffering for nothing. Oh wait not nothing.... 35 pounds.
Big friggin deal!!!
Big disappointment here!!
Feb.4, 2008
Just one huge failing after another. I'm really tired of it. I have people constantly asking me...."so how much have you lost??" I have started wanting to just hit everyone. I mean like WHAT THE HELL??? I have enough on my mind as it is. But then I have to worry about what everyone else is thinking along with it. Im tired of living my life for everyone else. Yes I wanted to have this surgery, I felt that I needed it. But right now I regret ever having gone threw with it. Or maybe I just wish that I kept it all to myself. If I never told anyone that I was going threw with it then I wouldn't have to answer to people about it. I'm really glad that this surgery works for so many people, it just isn't working for me. I don't know what else to do. Hell there is nothing else I can do. That was my last resort.
March 25, 2008
Well I went back and read what I typed the last two times. Altho thats is how I felt at the time, I do not feel that way now. Last time I weighed myself I was at 309, meaning that I only have 10 more pounds to lose to be under 300 pounds!! That IS a big deal!! I have been more then 300 pounds for so many years I can't remember how long its been. Today I went out to a diner with my friend Christina. It was a very small place. She picked a both to sit at and right away I stated that I wouldnt fit there, The table and bench were pretty close to each other, as she said well then lets sit at a table I was just like well let me see. I sat down. I fit!! not only did I fit but I even had some room to breath!! We ate and I still fit. When we went to get up, guess what?? I didnt get stuck!!
Next step is to go to the clothes store and find out what size Im in now. I found some clothes that I put away years ago because they were too small. I put them on and not only do they fit but they are even a little loose. So to make this shorter. I am feeling better about the surgery now. On a sad note, I ran into Diane, someone I knew years ago, her and her sister Andrea had the surgery when Drs. were just starting to do it. I remember Andrea lived two doors down from me, she lost so much weight, but every time she ate she got sick. She told me that I should get the surgery and I was so afraid to. I didnt do any research on it back then, we are talking about 10 years ago, She looked sick. She had lost most of her hair, and her excess skin was really bad. I also remember that she was happy though. Well when I ran into Diane she told me the sad news that Andrea had died, as a result of the surgery. Her intestines had gotten twisted or something and rotted inside of her. It took too long for Drs. to find out what was the matter and she passed. Diane also had the surgery and she said that she had no complecations from it. She has had two children since and altho she gained some weight back she looks really good.
May 20, 2008
I havent typed any new information in here for way too long. I last checked my weight about 2 weeks ago. At that time I was 298. YES!! I am actually under 300 pounds. I went to see Dr. Adlen on April 23, when he went to take my blood pressure he started to use a regular cuff, so I told him I needed the big one, he told me he will try anyway. It actually fit!! I also have checked my clothes size and Im down at least 4 sizes. I was bigger then a 32, now Im down to a size 26.
May 23, 2008
O.K. so I got on a scale again tonight and I am now 294.
That is 100 pounds since I started this journey two years ago. Actually it wasnt even two full years ago. I have two more months until its a full two years.
Tammie
My Journey
I guess it all started in 2004 or 2005. A friend of mine had Gastric bypass done.
She had suggested it to me on a few occations.
My psychiatrist also started suggesting the surgery, almost every appointment I had with him. so I started to ask around and look into the surgery.
It took me until mid year of 2006 to decide to just go for it.
I went to Temple Hospital to see Dr. Meilahn. The great Dr. and his side kick Laurie saw me and said that I would be a great canidate for the surgery. At that time I weighed 394 pounds. I was also told to try to lose 15 to 20 pounds if I could. I then had to go threw a series of tests and evaluations before I could go threw with the surgery, and I had to come up with 600 dollars out of pocket to pay for what my ins. wouldn't pay for. A friend of mine took up a colection for me, with the help of my friends I soon had 400 dollars. I was making payments on a washing machine and decided to get the last 200 dollars from that. I could always wash clothes by hand. so now I was ready for all the tests and evaluations. I had to see one of their psychiatrists for evaluation, I had to meet with the nutritionalist, have my stomache checked, heart checked and a sleep evaluation. all came back clear and I was ready to go in july of 2006. However, My ins. had other plans. somthing about Temple Hospital becoming a member of excellence. so over a year after all my testing was done my ins. finally decided that Temple was now a member of excellence. I also changed my ins. same day I found out, just to try and get the surgery to go threw faster. I was going nuts waiting... people constantly asking when I am going to have the surgery, if I had it yet. I had a new appointment with Dr. M, I was now 374, this being over a year later. Yes I only lost 20 pounds in over a year. my surgery date was made for Nov. 27. I had to go on a liquid diet 2 weeks before, clear liquid diet the day before. while on the clear liquid diet I got a phone call from Nyeesha, my surgery will be cancelled and a new appointment for Dec. 4th was made. I was at 355 from the liquid diet. But I was aloud to eat some food for the following week. I chose some foods that I was craving while on the liquid diet, stromboli was the first one. It tasted so good to. So after I ate a couple things for the last time that I was craving I went back on the liquid diet. The day before my suregery I did a clear liquid diet.
Day of surgery:
Dec, 4, 2007
I was to be in the hospital at 5:45am. My mom came over around 4:00am. My friends husband Jeff also came over around 4:05am. We left out and got to the hospital around 4:30am. The doors were locked and the gaurd wouldn't let us in until 5am
we enter at 5am. do what little paper work had to be done and they take us up to short procedure unit. I get a cup to pee in, yeah.
they take my mother and myself up to another room. I change into a hospital gown, foot booties and a hair cap. I give my mom a hug and kiss and tell her I'll see her in a few hours. They transport me to a room full of people getting ready for surgery, its the prep~room, go figure. I sit in there for about an hour when the anisteialogist came in asked me how much I weighed. I told him about 360. he was very nice he actually said he thought I was more in the 200s. I just laughed and said thank you. about half an hour later Dr. M and Laurie came in. Asked me some questions. everything was fine and I just had to wait for them to get the operating room ready. around 8:15am they transported me to the operating room. I met with some of the people that were in there. I don't remember their names but they seemed nice. I guess that was a good thing since they were about to see me in a my glory. I moved onto the operating table, which was actually padded and warm, however not very wide. I really didn't think that I would fit on it. but I slid onto it anyway. the last few things I remeber was them placing my arms on side boars and strapping them down.
As they woke me up all I could think was "What the fuck did I do to myself?" I could feel the tube that was still down my throat. All of a sudden it started to feel real uncomfortable and I started gagging, even though it was only down one side of my throat. They removed the tube right away. and all was well again, except for the horrible pain.
I think I was taken to my hospital room after that, its not completely clear. I saw my mom and Jeff waiting there for me. My mom called my daughter Charlie to let her know I was doing good.
I got to talk to her to tell her myself that I was good. I was so happy to hear her voice. I was at this time on a morphine pump that I could hit every 5 minutes if I wanted to. If I'm correct it was only 1ml at a time. I told my mom and Jeff to head out it was about noon by then. I just couldn't see them sitting there any longer. I layed in the bed for maybe a few hours, then it was time to try and get out of bed and into a chair. No problems so far, I didn't even get sick when I moved. Very good thing. I was bored already. It turned out that to watch T.V. cost 6 bucks a day and I just refused to pay that. So no T.V. or anything, well I did have my cell phone at least. I started making my phone calls to people to let them know all was well. so I sat there prtty bored. I still had a cathider in, and a tube hanging out of my stomach with a bulb at the end collecting a bloody fluid into it. That was kinda weird but under the gown so I didn't have to think about it. Later that evening I got up and started to walk. A nurse walked around the halls with me. I was in so much pain but I made it. I had a lot of upper back pain along with the stomach pain. The morphine didn't work that well so they gave me a shot of Toradal, non narcotic pain medicine. That worked a lot better.
I was so tired by 9:30pm I decided to try to get to sleep. around 12am I was wide awake from the nurses talking right at my door. Lucky me, my room was right infront of the nuses station. (nurses do not care if you are sleeping or not they do not talk quietly during the night shift)
Day 2:
Dec.5, 2007
A nurse came in around 5:30 am to check my vitals. I got out of bed around 6am. I still had nothing to drink. I was only aloud to swab my lips and mouth. All I wanted was a friggin drink. I was finally given a drink, 1oz of water, around 7am. I had to sip it very slowly. It all went down fine and I was able to "drink" from then on. I got up and walked around the halls again in the morning. when I was done I couldn't wait to sit back down. As I sit in the chair I'm am bored out of my mind. In the afternoon the nurse comes in and removed the cathider, then drained my bulb of bloody juice. I was so ready to go home already. I kept asking when I would be able to get going. Every minute seemed like forever. They told me I had to pee to leave. I got washed up with some soapy wash rags. I sat in the chair some more and was still bored!! Then Dr. M finally came in to see me around 4pm. He gave me the ok to go home!!!
around 6pm I finally got to leave the hospital. Got home around 7:30 after getting the medicine.
At home:
Dec.6, 2007
I met with my in home nurse and she gave me my first injection of blood thinner. Got a shower and had to rest.
Dec 7,2007
I was shown how to give myself the injection. walked up the steps twice. I was on clear liquid diet since I came home. It was Sunday or Monday when I decided to step on the scale. I was at 340. I couldn't believe it. I could actually go to my family Dr. and have them weigh me now, and fit on the scale. I started on full liquid diet on Tuesday, 1 week after my surgery. Wednesday I had an appointment with Dr. M to see how I was doing. Turns out I am doing great!! I still have a little bit of pain in my left side where they stitched my old stomach to my mucles. Every now and again I have very sharp pain with burning in that spot. I have been able to move better since I first got home. I can get in and out of bed a lot easier.
Dec. 15, 2007
Went to cusin Kathy's for the holiday party. I couldn't eat anything there. But it was nice to go anyway. By the end I was in a lot of pain. Got home and went right to bed.
Dec. 17, 2007
I weighed myself again. I'm at 337.4 pounds now. Still having some pain.
Dec. 18, 2007
In a bit of pain but trying my best not to take any pain medicine. I only have 2 left and I only want to use them when in severe pain. I'm mostly very uncomfortable.
Dec. 20, 2007
I went to see the family Dr. yesterday. He says that everything looks good. He does seem worried about my intake of vitamins. He gave me some more pain meds. Thankfully, because this morning I woke up in major pain. I was in pain all day. I ended up taking a pill in the afternoon and one in the evening.
Dec.21, 2007
I slept almost normal last night. I was on my side almost all night. I woke up with my back hurting and I realized I need a new bed. As far as my side and stomach are concerned I'm feeling pretty good. very mininmal pain. I have a lot to do today so I will have to see how much pain I'm in after I'm done everything.
Dec.29, 2007
The past week hasn't had too many differences. I went to the gym yesterday and the day before. I personally feel that I'm doing pretty good. I walk on the tredmill and sometimes even work on my chest and upper arms. I'm trying not to take the pain pills at all any more. but I can do so much more if I take one before going into the gym. I also weighed myself there, I'm 324 now. I have been able to eat pretty much anything, so I know I have to be careful with what I'm eating. Plus it has been said that just because it agrees with me now doesnt mean it will another time. I went over a week without having a B.M. and I finally passed it yesterday. I'm buying some prune juice today so that I don't go threw that again. Besides waking up in the O.R. in all that pain with the tube still down my throat yesterday was the worse part of this whole thing so far. I'm sleeping on my stomach/ side again. I'm as comfortable as I can be. At the same time I'm waking up in pain again. I can't afford a new bed. I will be going to the chiro on Jan. 8th. I'm hopeing that he can help me. I just feel like I'm doing really well. My next appt with Dr. M is set for Jan.11. I really can't wait. I have been taking my multi vitamins and the tums and the b12.
Jan.19, 2008
I feel like a failure again. I havent lost much of anything since the last time I typed on here. I am having pain again in my side, where the Dr. says that they sewed my old stomach to my muscle.
I feel like I had this surgery for nothing!!
This SUCKS!!
Jan.22, 2008
Um, yea I decided not to weigh myself each week. I really don't feel like this surgery worked for me. I know my mother always told me that I had an iron stomache, but come on. This is not the time to have one. I have been able to eat anything at this point. I mean yes I have to chew until the food is liquidfied first. No I can't eat as much at one sitting as I was able to before, But I just feel like nothing is happening at this point. I really hope that I didn't go threw all that pain and suffering for nothing. Oh wait not nothing.... 35 pounds.
Big friggin deal!!!
Big disappointment here!!
Feb.4, 2008
Just one huge failing after another. I'm really tired of it. I have people constantly asking me...."so how much have you lost??" I have started wanting to just hit everyone. I mean like WHAT THE HELL??? I have enough on my mind as it is. But then I have to worry about what everyone else is thinking along with it. Im tired of living my life for everyone else. Yes I wanted to have this surgery, I felt that I needed it. But right now I regret ever having gone threw with it. Or maybe I just wish that I kept it all to myself. If I never told anyone that I was going threw with it then I wouldn't have to answer to people about it. I'm really glad that this surgery works for so many people, it just isn't working for me. I don't know what else to do. Hell there is nothing else I can do. That was my last resort.
March 25, 2008
Well I went back and read what I typed the last two times. Altho thats is how I felt at the time, I do not feel that way now. Last time I weighed myself I was at 309, meaning that I only have 10 more pounds to lose to be under 300 pounds!! That IS a big deal!! I have been more then 300 pounds for so many years I can't remember how long its been. Today I went out to a diner with my friend Christina. It was a very small place. She picked a both to sit at and right away I stated that I wouldnt fit there, The table and bench were pretty close to each other, as she said well then lets sit at a table I was just like well let me see. I sat down. I fit!! not only did I fit but I even had some room to breath!! We ate and I still fit. When we went to get up, guess what?? I didnt get stuck!!
Next step is to go to the clothes store and find out what size Im in now. I found some clothes that I put away years ago because they were too small. I put them on and not only do they fit but they are even a little loose. So to make this shorter. I am feeling better about the surgery now. On a sad note, I ran into Diane, someone I knew years ago, her and her sister Andrea had the surgery when Drs. were just starting to do it. I remember Andrea lived two doors down from me, she lost so much weight, but every time she ate she got sick. She told me that I should get the surgery and I was so afraid to. I didnt do any research on it back then, we are talking about 10 years ago, She looked sick. She had lost most of her hair, and her excess skin was really bad. I also remember that she was happy though. Well when I ran into Diane she told me the sad news that Andrea had died, as a result of the surgery. Her intestines had gotten twisted or something and rotted inside of her. It took too long for Drs. to find out what was the matter and she passed. Diane also had the surgery and she said that she had no complecations from it. She has had two children since and altho she gained some weight back she looks really good.
May 20, 2008
I havent typed any new information in here for way too long. I last checked my weight about 2 weeks ago. At that time I was 298. YES!! I am actually under 300 pounds. I went to see Dr. Adlen on April 23, when he went to take my blood pressure he started to use a regular cuff, so I told him I needed the big one, he told me he will try anyway. It actually fit!! I also have checked my clothes size and Im down at least 4 sizes. I was bigger then a 32, now Im down to a size 26.
May 23, 2008
O.K. so I got on a scale again tonight and I am now 294.
That is 100 pounds since I started this journey two years ago. Actually it wasnt even two full years ago. I have two more months until its a full two years.
