patti68

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I have always known that I sort of, kinda have some  eating  disorder, because I can eat something just because I like the taste, no matter how full I am;but to have a shrink saying, yep, you have a binge eating disorder, you need help with meds, makes it sound so so scary!...
So my Doc refers me to this shrink that puts me on meds(Prozac) so I can control my eating partly because I am obsessed with food, honestly, since surgery, the only thing I can think of is food, and since I can not eat it, I cook it. I have been in millions of food site, discovered some new ones, like the blogs about food..really neat..even called my mum back home to send me some new latin recipes...hope the Prozac kicks in soon because other wise I'll go crazy.
My stomach has starte to hurt, last night I woke up with pain, hopefully is nothing, called the doc and gave me an appointment for monday, maybe I have been drinkung to much too fast..

I can believe that it has been a whole week since I had surgery, I really thought it was going to be awful, but, Thanks GOD, I am really really good...and so far  I  my sleeve, cuz it has allowed me to loose 9 big ugly pounds in a week.

I do have some thoughts on my stomach, I think that I must have the most elastic stomach anyone can have, so far, just this morning I had a glass of milk with two scoops of protein powder(50 gr protein) and went down with no problems at all.. about 30 minutes later I was thirsty so I filled my camelbak bottle (750 ml) with plain water and about and hour later that was done... waited a couple of hours and filled again with water and one 45 gr protein bullet and I'm already down about 1/3 of the bottle....I love this handy water bottles, you can drink with out noticing.lol, and I'm just waiting for lunch to be ready so the kids and I Can have lunch together, I'll be having my invented soup from yesterday which is not even a low fat thing, hey if i am gonna eat only little it might as well be good, it even has wine...I think is about time I started doing some serious walking on the treadmill...

I also discovered that I have a food problem,Duh! not seriously, I have spent so much time(all day yesterday) on line and looking through my cookbooks for what to cook ..its insane, or AM I INSANE? i will definitely be making an appointment with a shrink soon, because if right now I can really take a lot of liquids, later on i will probably be able to eat like "regular" people..scary...

I have to acknowledge something  in here, so that I won't ever forget it, that two nights before my surgery I had a dream that told me to pray to the Virgin Mary , specifically The Virgin of Lourdes, now, I don't even go to church, so i google it, and I was amazed, so I pray to the Immaculate Conception to heal me, and while at the hospital, every time I had pain I did the same, just basically asking please let me heal fast! and I think I got a miracle because I can even go back to work with no problems, not that I will lol, hey I need my rest ... I will go to church to lite a candle and pray a rosary( Can I use my Ipod in church?) I don't know how to pray it unless I listen to it...well I figure it out.

In two days from today i will be heading to the hospital to have surgery and I am a bit...hummmm worried? no I'm not,  scared, not scared either..I don't know how to label what I'm feeling, is a mixture of hope, that everything will be fine and I will lose ALL the extra weight, and calmness its weird, I know I will be in pain, and I hate pain, I know its gonna be hard(that is why I am writing to come back and read it every time I get blue) and in spite of all that i still want to do it. Go figure, I am officially crazy.