peachy48161

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Woot Woot!!! Weighed in this morning at 199.8!!!!!  Even took a picture of it I was so excited.  Things are moving along nicely, I have NEVER been this thin, other when I passed this weight to the 130+ more I used to be.

So, I make some beef tips tonite for dinner and as i'm eating them, I come across a chunk that looks like it has a valve attached.  It seriously looked like a heart valve.  At that point, i've decided i'm done! I was going vegetarian anyway again once I saw my nutritionist but it's only a week away so Im done.  That just grossed me and made me sick to my stomach.

I feel i'm doing something wrong, I've lost 30 lbs which dr says is great but my pants haven't budged.  My shirts fit looser but my pants still fit exactly the same way, it makes me feel kind of discouraged.  I've just been released to workout since last thursday and I have gone 2x's now and did really good weights and cardio, I just kinda wish my pants would move down more.  I've always judged my weight by how my clothes fit, so when they haven't moved it kinda feels like I haven't done something right.  I know upping my fluids and protein help, just needed to vent for a minute!

So yesterday was surgery day and etoday, goodnight yall!verything went well.  I got home this evening and feeling good.  It was a little rough in the hospital a lot of pain and pressure, but the pain meds helped with the pain.  I have my mom with me at my apt to help me out and she's been a great help.  So far no regrets, looking forward to working hard and seeing results, no pain no gain right?  Well I think i've done enough, time for rest!

Surgery date is Jan 5 woo hoo!!!! Im super excited, now its time to scrape togehter all the money they need by next tuesday.  That's where i'll need the luck lol

I'M APPROVED!!!! Woo hoo!!! Now I just have to wait on the call to set up the surgery date....Yay!

So I completed my psych consult last Wednesday and everything went great.  So now all I have to do is  wait for the Barix to send the info for my insurance approval, but I don't think that should be a problem.

I was asked a question from the psych about, what food would I regret giving up?  It made me think, what would I really miss, then I thought well whatever that item is it helped me get to this point.  So I said, If I have to give something up for the rest of my life, then so be it.  I need to make this change for my health and if I weren't able to eat something again, I'm OK with that.  I've read a lot of message boards and it seems there are a ton of people who can't wait to eat the bad stuff that helped them get to the point of WLS to begin with.  Why work so hard to get WLS and lose the weight to go back to old eating habits?  WLS is not a cure and if the habits are not broken then eventually the weight will be gained back.  So yes, if I have to give up pizza for the rest of my life to be healthy and live a healthy life then so be it, where do I sign?  Just have had a lot of time to think about things lately.

So I've started to see a new guy.  I was talking with him before I made the choice to do WLS and I was going to not date at all because this was going to be such a change in my life, I wasn't ready to do both.  But I thought it would be unfair to him if I didn't at least go out with him once to see if there were some chemistry there and go from there.  I didn't expect it to go anywhere, but of course it came out of nowhere.  I really like him and we've gone out multiple times and he's someone I can see myself with long term.  Only issue, I don't exactly know how to just bring up the fact I'm having WLS within the next month or so.  He likes me the way I am, which that doesn't affect the fact that I need to do this for  myself as well as my health.  Just hard to just come up with a time to say hey guess what in about a year I'm going to be x-amount thinner and can't guarantee I'm going to be the same person you met.....UUUGGGGHHHH!  This part sucks.

Well i'm off to bed....

So the hospital called me with the requirements from my insurance company to get the surgery, here they are

Nutritional Evaluation-Check
Letter from PCP-Check
Psych Consult-On wed!!!

Those are the only things my insurance is requiring then the hospital can send it in for approval.  I'm kinda excited and scared at the same time.  I finally told my 2 closest friends and I received  reaction I thought I wouldn't.  They were very supportive and said they're happy for me, that i've decided to do something to get me to a healthier me.  I guess I should have given them more credit.  My one friend can very critical and opinionated and she was way more supporting then I expected, I underestimated her and realize I have great friends.

My surgeon is having me get an EGD done to check for ulcers that I was diagnosed with about 9 years ago, I very rarely have issues with it, but I understand why he needs me to have that done. I'm kinda nervous about it, I have to be asleep for it says the GI doc....

But everything is moving fast and I can't believe that in no time I will get to join the loser's club!!!

So today is my first day on this website and I've really enjoyed the posts and what the site has to offer.  I had my consult on Monday Nov, 9,2009.  I have scheduled my psych consult as well as an EGD with a gastro(something)ologist lol....I was diagnosed with an ulcer about 8 years ago, and even though I haven't had any symptoms in a few years my surgeon wants to make sure everything is kosher for the surgery.  I really nervous about the surgery, it's a lifestyle change that is much needed but is scary none the less.  Hopefully it doesn't take much time for everything to happen before I think too much about it.  I tend to over think sometimes and just get anxiety.  I'm excited for this change but scarred at the same time.  You know thinking about this surgery kinda makes me think about how you feel during a divorce, like I've failed at something.  I've failed to keep myself healthy so now I have to make a decision to help get my life on track.  My family has been a great support system so far.  But I haven't told my close friends yet.  Like many people I'm the "fat" friend and they don't understand sometimes what it feels like and if I ever say something anywhere near weight related (which is rare), they're like "no you're not, shutup" but 10 minutes later they are complaining they are, when they are normal size.  So how is that supposed to make me feel?  They're the types to say, oh just eat right and exercise, well yeah in all reality that's a great idea and I've done it and it worked...for awhile.  But eventually you get to a point where it doesn't work alone anymore.  So I've decided to wait until I have surgery scheduled so they don't try to talk me out of it.  I'm sure eventually they'll get over the idea of it and A) either support and get over it or B) turn out to not be the good friends they signed up to be.  But anyway I'm excited for this new chapter in my life to begin and I can't wait to start working hard to get to where I want to be.