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Wow! It will be 3 months on Jan.5th, 2010. Some days it feels like I just had this surgery and other days it feels like I've lived my whole life this way.  A LOT has happened in these three months. I have had a rough start but in the long run it has gone very well.

I developed a stricture and had to have a scope in November and December to resolve that issue. It was also discovered that I have two ulcers that I am battling as well. I am looking forward to being able to reduce the meds down to just my vitamins again but it will still be a few months before I can do that.

During the time of my stricture I could barely eat or drink anything. I was on liquids pretty much from two weeks before surgery until the second week of December. I am thankful I can begin to try other foods now. The downside is my brain needs to catch up and realize that I have to go slow at this. I keep thinking I want this or that and know I am not ready to try those things but darn it if I don't want to anyway. Perfect example is sushi. I desperately want sushi. So I bought some the other day. I discovered rice is not my friend (and believe me I reduced it to hardly anything to try it) so I at the salmon of the top and I ate the insides to California rolls. It tasted amazing but I am definitely not ready yet.

I am the struggling phase of...I know I can eat but I have no idea what to make. I need to get on some kind of schedule. I am not eating nearly enough and am still struggling with my protein. I don't feel I am using this gift to the fullest potential. I am working on getting exercise (besides walking) in but I feel so weak from being low on protein and for having eaten very little over the last few months.

My totals as of this point.......my highest weight was 252 lbs. My current weight (according to Wii) is 176 for a grand total of 76 lbs lost. On the day of surgery (after a 2 week liquid diet in which i lost 12 lbs) I weighed in at 225 so I have lost 49 lbs in 3 months. I have gone from a tight size 20 to a very loose 14.....from 2x tops to women's large. I am thrilled. Even if I were to not loose any more weight I would be thrilled with where I am. I am sure I will lose some more so we'll see where I end up!

Well that is the update for now. It still is a learning process every day but I am grateful for this amazing gift.

And the journey continues.......


Shannon

Well I can hardly believe it. I am now 24 days post-op. Where did that time go?

I am pretty much feeling "normal" again now. I still get light headed at times but I think that is more of a dehydration issue than anything else. I had a little down time where I didn't seem to really be losing much (if any) for about a week. I assume that was my body trying to catch up with what happened. This week though it as if I am dropping pounds every day! I'm sure I will go back and forth with losing and not losing.

At work yesterday I had people tell me I need to go pants shopping. They were so baggy I had to keep hoisting them up every time I stood up. Was quite embarrassing. I remember last night that I had saved a favorite pair of jeans that I used to wear that I was unable to fit into anymore. I went on the hunt to find those jeans. I found them after much searching and debated whether to try them on. If they didn't fit I didn't want to be bummed out that I couldn't wear them yet. Finally I got up the courage and tried them on. THEY FIT!!!! These are jeans I have not worn for 5 years!!!  Needless to say......guess what jeans I'm wearing to work today! :D

As i got ready this morning I put on another one of my normal shirts and noticed that it was hanging pretty severely.....meaning don't lean over or you'll give everyone a show kind of hanging. I remembered I had purchased a shirt a few months back that figured I would fit into at that time but didn't. Of course I never got around to returning it so I dug it out this morning and....it fits! I feel like I'm wearing a brand new outfit!

I stepped on my scale this morning and about fell over. I don't know if my scale is the same as the clinics but I'm liking what it says! 205! I am going to go over to my parents house after work today and step on theirs and see how close the two are. lol What a ride this has been.

I'm still easing into food and no where near my protein goals yet. I did just order a sampler of nectar so hopefully that will assist in getting some of my protein in. For the most part I am making great food choices and doing my best to eat the "right way" I still have so much to learn. Its odd, you think that you are so food focused before surgery and that is one of the reasons you weigh but you weigh but boy.....after surgery....you become even more food focused to make sure you're eating enough and of the right stuff! Go figure!

And the journey continues......

Well, I think I've finally turned a corner. I was feeling pretty cruddy my first week. I went back to work one week after surgery. I see why they recommend taking 2 weeks off. I was miserable. But each day I have been getting a little better.

On Oct. 19th I had my 2 week check up. When I started this whole process my highest weight was 252. At my check up I am down to 218. Which means I am down 34 lbs.  Only 7 of which are after surgery. I do think I'm probably not losing as fast as I haven't had much nutrition.I have struggled getting anything into my system for 2 weeks. I felt like I would get sick off of everything, even water. At the week and a half mark I called my NUT to let her know my struggles and she moved me up to the creamy soup phase. This helped quite a bit as I was able to add my unflavored protein powder into it. I just can't stomach those shakes! After 4 weeks on them they tend to lose their yummy-ness.

At the 2 week visit we graduated me to pureed foods! This has been quite the adventure. I decided to have some cottage cheese and got the worst stomach ache! Then I got to go through the lovely back end issues while my system freaked out it was actually getting food again and not just liquids.

I am happy to say as of yesterday I am feel a bit more "normal" I was able to actually eat "meals" and didn't feel horrible! I was thirsty and able to drink without the feeling of throwing up! I feel like I'm actually on a good path now. I am going to stay on this for a while and then work on adding in the protein more and more to get me up the the proper amounts. I'm not anywhere near my 60 grams but i am able to keep things in so that is a blessing.

I also need to incorporate a walking program soon as I am feeling better. I am anxious to do stomach exercises but I am not sure how long I have to wait. I best post that question on the OH boards! :) At my appointment they kept asking, "Any regrets?" I just kept thinking, wow, to many regret this? I don't regret it. I knew it would take a while to adjust and that it would be a huge learning process. I'm up for that challenge and doing quite well with it I think. 

And the journey continues........

Well I have come to a couple of conclusions. It is nearly impossible to get all my fluid in within the day. My Nut said to work back up to 5 shakes a day. I managed to get in 1 today. Tomorrow I will work harder at getting it in. I discovered warmer is better than cold for liquid. I get full incredibly fast even with tiny sips.

I also have learned I am not ready to take back on my full responsibilities. I attempted to make my two year old lunch yesterday and got hot and light headed very quickly. I did manage to go to the store today and get things for dinner. I made the kids dinner but I had to do it sitting down. I'm so blessed my kiddos are so willing to help me. My 9 yr old has been by my side for everything.

Even my two year old today looked at my protein shake today and said, "mama, that's medicine for you...up, up, up" as he was trying to tip the bottom of the cup up so I would drink! They are such blessings.

Well, I think I'll take my meds and head for bed. I realized tonight I didn't get any before pics so I am going to need to get that done ASAP before I start changing too quickly. As it is I was surprised to learn I lost 12 pounds from my liquid diet!

And the journey continues....

Well, I am officially home. I had surgery on Monday 10/5 and I was released this morning. I am actually feeling quite good! I did do a bit too much today so I am now plopped into my chair at home and plan on resting for the evening.

I am moving quite well. Better each day. My surgeon was leery at first to let me go this morning (he wanted this afternoon but I had court this morning so I need out by 7:30 am) but I reached every goal and requirement necessary for me to go. I had an upper GI on Tuesday afternoon which thankfully showed no leaks and I was allowed to begin to drink liquids.

So far I have just had water, and a jello cup, and I tried to have a little bit of a shake today but felt a bit yucky so I am backing back down to just jello and water and maybe some broth. I'll try the shake again in a couple days. I'm on my second jello cup as I type! I have discovered I have to take tiny little sips for it to go down. This is going to be quite a learning adjustment for me. I am excited though to begin.

I was pleased to discover I lost 12 pounds just from the liquid diet! Which brings my total lost before surgery to 27 lbs!  It's a great start to my new beginning.

Well my eyes are getting pretty sleepy so I am going to go for tonight and rest. I am pleased with my progress so far and I can't wait to continue and make this as successful as possible.

And the journey continues....

Well, in 5 hours I leave for the hospital. I have all the clothes for the kids washed, I have my stuff ready, for the most part and I now just have to work on as much homework as I can. So, the plan for the evening, sip water (which I can have until 4 am) and do homework until I pass out from exhaustion.

My mom will be coming to the house around 4:30 am to stay with the kids and get them off to school. She has offered to keep the little one for the day which is a huge help! My fiance will bring me to the hospital which is an hour and a half away and I need to be there at 6:45 am.

So far I am doing ok. A little nervous but ok. I know I won't sleep tonight so I'm not going to even try. I figure nothing puts you to sleep better than doing homework so maybe I'll actually catch a few ZZZZ's by doing that. I have two assignments due on the 5th and on the 6th. I don't know how the heck I'm going to get it all done but I'll do my best.

Well, I guess this is it for now.....I'll see you all later.....on the other side :)

And the journey continues......

Well, I am coming to the end of my 3rd day of liquid diet and I have to say I am doing much better than I thought I would. It is amazing to see what you learn about yourself through this though. Did you know it is so very difficult to cook dinner and NOT lick your fingers or sample as you go? I had no idea I did that as much as I did! I made roast the other night for the kids with onions, carrots, and potatoes and some yummy spices. As I'm plating the food I kept catching myself about to bring fingers to my mouth and then I'd remember....nope, can't do that! I have not cooked much since then lol I have taken the easy way out the last two night and just did easy dinners for the kids. In fact, my oldest made sandwiches for dinner tonight so I didn't even have to touch food which was nice!

I am currently on my last shake of the day, in addition I've had two bottles of water, a cup of beef broth, and a jello. I am meeting my fluid requirements everyday so far. whew! Time is going by fast. I can't believe tomorrow is Thursday and before you know it the 5th will be here! Wow! I can't wait.

Well, time to turn my focus back to my schooling. It is so nice to have that distraction. I don't have time to think about food when I'm working full time, have 4 kids, and taking 4 law classes all at the same time! Now I have to fit in time to let my family know I have a surgery date!

And the journey continues.....

So, I'm sitting here on the couch with my laptop waiting for my 2 1/2 year old to fall asleep and take his nap and I begin to think.......tomorrow is my last day of food. I didn't really realize how attached to food I was. I mean, at first I was kind of joking about it saying I need to get all my favs in before I can't have them again but now it really hits me that I am really connected to food. It's been very enlightening for me actually. This shows me that I still have a lot  of me I need to work on. I've done so well with forming good habits and getting my liquid in, but I still need work on the head aspect of this process. I was told of a book, "The Emotional First Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery" I think I need to get that book! I want to make sure that I do not sabotage myself in this process. I have great support at home and from co-workers and friends but in reality, I need to support myself too. I need to be my own cheerleader. I still will have a great dinner tomorrow but I am going into this with an "I can and I will!" attitude. I am committed to changing my life for the better. Not only for me and my health but for my family. They deserve this as well.

Well, on Wednesday this week I went in to the clinic for my pre-op teaching. I had finished all the requirements on Aug. 19th and hadn't been in since then. I have since gone back to college and am taking a full load of classes as well as working full time and being a mom to 4 kiddos. Life is full :) I thought for sure with all of the stress and changes in the last month that I would have for sure gained a few pounds over the month. To my shock and surprise I lost 5 pounds! That brings my total down to 15 pounds since I started the 6 month insurance required stuff.

I had my fiance and my 2 1/2 year old at the pre-op appointment. The nurse was super sweet and so excited for me. She showed me the on Q pain pump I will have afterward. Scary part there is she says the tubing goes into my belly and administers pain meds for 4 days and then she says......."when it's empty, just take the bandage off and pull out the tubing!" Ugh!! Are you kidding me! I've already decided my honey can do that part for me. I was encouraged to hear I will be going in on Monday and i will be the 3rd case of the day and she said I could be released as early as Tuesday afternoon. This is my goal as I actually have a commitment for Wednesday at 9am that I need to attend. I'm sure I'll feel like crap but thankfully it will be fairly short.

The nurse already had my 2 week appointments scheduled for me and gave all the instructions on fluids before and after surgery. She was so sweet. I was also pleased as my honey asked questions too which makes me feel more at ease about this as well. It helps knowing that he wants to know what is going on and how best to help me.

After the appointment with the nurse I had an appointment with my NUT. I love her. She has been so encouraging through this whole thing and always cheers me on. She gave me the instructions for the 2 week liquid diet and it starts.......Monday!  Can you believe it starts already!  The NUT said I am in that 1% that she is 100% confident about and knows will succeed. I have fulfilled every requirement she has asked of me.

Once we finished there we went and ran errands. I picked up my first weeks worth of supplies for the liquid diet and my protein powder. I haven't picked up my vitamins yet but she said i can wait until my 2 week post-op appointment before starting those.  I just keep thinking....I can't believe this is actually happening. My stomach just turns everytime I think of it!

I am blessed as well as I have a co-worker who had lap-band 3 years ago. She has also been my sons daycare for the last  1 1/2 years and is the one who got me looking into doing this. She has been so supportive as well and is actually going to do the 2 week liquid diet with me! It will be so nice to have someone else here with me knowing exactly what I'm going through. I can do this!!

Next up.......Physical with Primary Doctor on Sept. 29th!

I was at work today, chuggin' along through my day as usual, when my lovey and little stopped by on their way out of town. I went out and chatted with them for a few min and my cell phone rang. I looked at the number and immediately knew it was my clinic calling. Possibly the scheduler. With a pit in my stomach I answer the phone and she says, "hi, I would like to schedule your surgery" Whoo hoo!!!!! When I had inquired last they had told me that most likely it would be late Oct. or early Nov. I was preparing myself to hear Nov. when she said, "How does Oct. 5th sound?" Are you kidding me? It sounds fantastic!!

So, in a mere 24 days I will be having surgery! I can hardly believe it! I start my liquid diet on the 21st or so. I have my pre-op appointment on Wednesday and my physical on the 29th and then I'm good to go! I can't believe this journey I have been on in hopes of having surgery is coming to reality for me.

My new life is about to begin!