Brenda Anderson

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11/30/07 Well I made my goal weight.  I am at 170 and Doc says I have about 20 lbs of skin that needs to be removed.  I hate typing cause I hen peck. not to mention my spelling! Ugh! .
I will try to keep you more updated.  its been a year and OMG! what a year. I never stayed in the same size of pants for more than three weeks. I have been so blessed to have had such a great support system.  They all have steped up and donated clothes, support and shoulders. Glo, you are the BEST of my support! Jeanne, thanks for loving me! I am still not at a place where I feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel a bit out of body, if that makes any sence?  I know I am thin if you have me think about it, on the other hand I am still thank fat girl that I have been for over 25 years. I even ask my partner the other day what are these hard places? she told me hips and ribs you nut!.. And if my talebone hits the back rim of the toiet seat one more time,  Learning how not to plob, down on the toilet.  Before I was so heavy by the time I made it up the stairs, huffing and puffing.  I would fall onto the toilet. Now I run up the stairs and need to learn to gently, ladylike sit on the toilet. There are so many little things that I had forgot all about. What a hug feels like, and the other party can hug your whole body.  When I get a hug now I feel huged. I love that. what it feels like to get so much attention. Store clerks, people walking by, looking at you smilling, and SEEing you. Now on the other hand.  I have learned "being THIN" doesn't make me happy. I say if I was thinner I would be happy.  If I had this I would be happy.   I have had so many changes and emotions free flowing that I am stuggling to stay emotional balanced. This has been the hardest part of this jourany I am so glad I took. Whats next?..... Well I am haveing a bit of a mid life crisis so I will try to keep you posted. Whould I do this again?  In a heart beat. 

10/07/06 Well i have been home for 2 days now and i am getting better every day. i am good if i stay ahead of the pain. yesterday was bad, pain 10 on the scale. I am still liking the Isopure. I am not good at long stories.  i just am a really ad typiest. and speller. hehehehe
I will try to write more soon.

09/12/2006
I got my date.  I am going through so much my head is spinning.  so I am going to calm down then I will be back.  10/02/2003 The Date of my new journay!

09/11/2006
I go tomorrow and set the date.  I got approval from the insurance company. i will right more soon.

  Well I thought I would sit a bit and fill you in on the saga of my newest weight loss journey.  I have hooked up with Mercy Medical and their Gastric-Bypass program.  My first encounter with them was a lecture on the process and what the surgeons will be doing. We were instructed to go to the Cafeteria of the clinic. Ok, I am a funny type of gal, love humor and all, but come on.  Do you know what it is like to have a meeting for Fat people in a food establishment? Ugh! Jeanne and I sit amusingly, for the discussion to start. The Doctor starts by telling the room full of souls that are looking for a cure-all, I am about to take away something from you that you have clung to for you support. I personally felt a large vice on my heart and my air was being cut off in my throat. Yes, I have used food my entire life for my survival. The obsession I have of the smells, the textures, the tastes, the rhythm of chewing and swallowing, the feeling as it sits in the large, stretched, sack called my stomach. Food has always been my drug. Food has always fixed, whatever troubles I have created. They want me to willingly give them permission to take it from me. 
The first step after the lecture was to fill out a 20-page history questioner.  I also needed to find out if my insurance would cover the many different appointments, tests and the surgery itself.  Ok, well they ask everything including if I went to the bathroom.  I was so pumped about the possibility of making a complete change for myself I had the questioner completed and in the mail to the clinic before the sun went down.  I had also put a call into the insurance.  When they returned my call it was the most heart stopping news I could have gotten.  The company I had chosen, for the surgery did not cover the things I needed.  I was in shock, I was numb, and I was done.  By done, I mean, I had been in the front seat of this big roller coaster I handled the first couple of hills and now I was at the top of the largest drop I had ever seen.  I was not going to be able to do this my life was over, I was going to be FAT, and unhealthy all the rest of my life. I was going to eat my way to my death. 
I called the HR person in charge of the Insurances offered here at work. She was on vacation and not due back for 2 weeks.  In my own demented head I thought 2 weeks I would be dead by then, I am not dramatic or anything.  When she did get back to me the news was not good.  There had been a mistake.  JD had put the information in our new employee packets and HR had not proofread the information.  So it was true I was not covered for this surgery or any of the testing.
 I then from the suggestion of a friend at work, e-mailed my HR and explained my predicament and my desperate need to have insurance that covered this procedure. This was the only reason I went with JD.  To my great surprise it worked, they granted me an exception to policy and let me change insurance companies before the open enrollment.  I was able to switch to a company that did pay for morbid obesity surgery. 
I was going to get the surgery. 
I called the mercy clinic and told them the good news I would be able to move forward with the process. The first thing they did was set me up with their psychiatrist.  The evaluation was one of the insurance requirements to get approved.  I went and talked with her (Dr. Koele) she asked my views, perceptions, and knowledge of what I was thinking about doing.  We sat and talked about all the pros and cons of this life changing and dramatic endeavor.  We also talked about me seeing a counselor on a regular basis so I could have a resource when I needed to talk or deal with issues that may come up.  After the 2-hour session I left went home and I waited to hear back from Mercy. Three weeks later still no word on the evaluation.  I could not stand the wait any longer I called mercy to see where we were in the process of my case.  They were still waiting to here from my psych evaluation. I could not understand why this was not in their office, what could possibly be taking so long.  I knew this was a bad sign.  Maybe I was crazy and they just were prolonging the bad news.  I called Dr. Koeles office and to my surprise they said they mailed the evaluation weeks ago.  Now, I am a bit put off.  Where is it?  Does anyone realize I am sitting in limbo? I am dieing, again I am not too dramatic am I? I requested that they send it again.  Another two weeks went by no word from anyone.  I call Mercy yet again. They told me that now a resident Dr. needed to look at the evaluation and see what his thoughts were on my mindset.  I could have told them myself.  I want to go forward.  I am stomping my feet and putting on the biggest show of pouting I could muster.  So again I wait.  Only to see another 2 weeks go by with not a word. I called Mercy again.  By this point I am wondering is anyone working on my life-changing journey besides me? Mercy told me, the Dr. had been out of the office on emergencies and had not looked at my file. After another 2 weeks I called again.  This time to here that the Dr. had read my file and He fills that I need to have better coping skills in place before I proceed. His recommendations were 8 to 10 visits with a counselor before I have the initial phone interview into the program.  I was livid.  I had wasted so much time only to hear that I now needed to see a counselor for another 2 mo. before they would talk to me about the surgery.  I was devastated once again. Was God really putting roadblocks in my way? Are all these obstacles in my way for a reason?  My dad said that maybe God didnt want me to die yet. I am going to die. Someday.
A friend in the office is also looking into the gastric bypass and she happen to go to a lecture with a major competitor of Mercy this was Methodist.  A well-known Dr. from Grinnell Dr. Eibes that has done several surgeries took over the program for Methodist, Lutheran, and Des Moines General. My friend came to work and was telling me about it.  She gave me the book she got from the Eibess lecture Wow; I didnt even know what to say.  Reading that book gave me step-by-step information about all the steps and the process.  It had everything in there. Questions and Answers, recipes, what is going to happen the day before the surgery, the day of, and the days after?  They explained everything in details. There were pictures, support systems, buddy list, and information on a monthly support group where they exchange clothes as the weight falls off. I learned more about the process, the mindset of the WL team.  They have a team. I found out that with this program you meat every month with your team to see how you are doing. I was getting so excited I could hardly contain myself the next week I scheduled an appointment with him. This one on one appointment with him will be the June 23rd at 11:00 am.  We will go over any questions and he will check me out and if he feels fit then I can schedule the surgery with him that day.   I am looking at November 6th 2006.  Not sure that will fit into his time frames I guess I will see tomorrow. Well now we are up to date. I guess we will have to see what tomorrow brings will talk at you then. 

I request a quick talk with the anesthesiologist, Dr. John was happy to come by and talk with me and he reassured me that he would watch very carefully that I would stay under. One last kiss goodbye and off I go to the operating room. Again I have a audience of medical personnel, this time they were not even fazed about me entering the room. It was like a Sci-Fi movie, they were all talking to each other and I was laying there looking at the big lights above my head. As I lay there, all the green gowns were running around busy putting tables of metal instruments in nice neat rows, pushing tall machines next to my bed, and I was alone. My head was free floating with images and questions that I was unable to organize. Dr. John came in and explained that he was going to put a monitoring device on my forehead that would keep him posted of how deep I was under. It felt like the sharp side of a velcro strip, and he kept pressing it into my skin. Soon after someone came in and said Brenda, we are going to put you to sleep now. OMG I wanted to say STOP, I wanted to get up and run down the halls, I wanted to find someone that could tell me ok, this is OK .

The next thing I knew, I felt like someone took a pitch fork to my back and pressed it through my body. I saw my Mom, the pain was so bad all I could do was moan. After a bit they had put me up to this pump. UHHHHHHHHHh! Pain medication is a wonderful thing. I was pressing it like a kid in an arcade. I knew it was only giving me a regulated amount but I was trying to confuse the machine and put it into overdrive. The rest of the day was only clear to me days later, after hearing everyone tell me what happened. I do remembered that they had me up and walking that first night. I wake up Tuesday to see Jeanne sitting beside me, her mouth wide open and snoring. It made me smile. She had put three small chairs together to make a bed. She looked so uncomfortable, I pressed the nurses button, and requested a recliner or something different. I was filed with a warm glow that she had been there for me and I didn't want her to be uncomfortable. The rest of the day is still a blur I do remember my food trays, 2 teaspoons of broth and 2 teaspoons of jell o. I will be on a 2 0z diet three times a day for the next month. I had one bad day in the hospital. Every time I drank something I got the hiccups, the nurses had me try everything to get them to go away. Nothing worked. When I saw my Dr. I told him, he said this was not a good thing and could be a sign of a leak. I was rushed down to x-ray. It turned out to be very cool. They made me drink the nasty barium, and I watched it go down my esophagus, hit my pouch, and boy is it small, then start emptying into my intestines. The other events at the hospital was more walking, a shower, and getting my iv's out. Thursday was the day I got to go home, the ride was a bit painful. I felt every bump and swerve of the truck. I get home and I was delighted. My own chair my own bed. My own routine. I did have one melt down where I didn't stay ahead of the pain and I couldn't get the pills down, due to pain. I was a blubbering blob, I could speak, all I could do is cry. Jeanne looked at me it total fear. Can I say I have the best partner in the world, she has been here for my every movement. I have been getting stronger everyday, and yesterday I went to the Dr. and got my staples out. My weight loss dairy looks like this. Thursday=5 lbs gone

Friday=5 lbs gone

Saturday=2 lbs gone

Sunday=none

Monday=7 lbs gone

Tuesday=none

Wednesday=none

Thursday=3 lbs gone

Down 22 lbs, and loving it.

Dr. Says 2 more weeks of purred food and then the last week of October I can start soft foods, deli meats, peanut butter,etc... It looks like I will be going back to work November, 6^th 2006.