psuangel
Just writing to pass time
Nov 05, 2007
I cannot believe that it is November already. Only 2 months till Christmas. Time flies. Well I am leaning more towards surgery. I just look at myself and I am so upset by how I look. I used to hate when I was 240 and now I am 100 pounds plus that. I have never looked like this in my life. Also, my mom may have an anerism (spelling) and this has opened my eyes. Yes, if I have the surgery I could die but if I do not I can die as well. I need to have it done so I can raise my son to the best of my potential. I want to be able to run with him. I want to be able to go on rides at the amusement parks with him. I want him to have the best life and the way I am now he is losing out. It is not fair to him to have the biggest mommy. My son is 2 1/2 and already knows that he is skinny and mommy is fat and it makes me sad. I love life too much to keep going on like this.
Ever since I had my son I have not been the same person. I used to be this happy, go lucky person. I was the life of the party. Now, I hate being with people unless it is family or very close friends. I really don't like being with a man anymore. Before, that was never an issue. I just hate myself and the way I look so much I think why would a man want this. I guess that is enough for now because I could keep writing all day.
Ever since I had my son I have not been the same person. I used to be this happy, go lucky person. I was the life of the party. Now, I hate being with people unless it is family or very close friends. I really don't like being with a man anymore. Before, that was never an issue. I just hate myself and the way I look so much I think why would a man want this. I guess that is enough for now because I could keep writing all day.
10/30/07
Oct 29, 2007
Well I actually checked my mail last night because I am waiting for my avon order to come and to my suprise there is a letter from my insurance company. I got approved. I am not positive if I am going to have it done but I am closer to it. I am still unsure about having it done because I want to see my son grow up. I have a lot of thinking and praying to do.
