Lois C.

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Yes, unbelievable and so tragic...and I am NOT speaking about Kim Kar-TRASH-ian getting flour bombed.  Honestly, though, I am highly concerned about something that I heard on TV late last night.  While watching "Entertainment Tonight Weekend," they did a story on a woman who went from an anorexic model to a size 14 "Plus-Sized" model [sick, in itself to call size 14 "plus size"].  Because she had lost about 35 pounds again, it was "rumored" that she had relapsed into her anorexia.  The woman said that people said she was SWALLOWING COTTON BALLS soaked in water or orange juice TO LOSE WEIGHT!!! She then went on to tell how women DO do this because the cotton balls EXPAND in your stomach and fill it so you are not hungry and do not have to eat.  I was just stunned.  First of all that she would then, if she was so concerned about stopping anorexia, proceed to tell HOW to do this and second, that females - and maybe males - are actually doing this!  To me, it screams of the sickness pervading our society yet to this day about not being able to accept who we really are and what we are all really supposed to look like rather than these sick, crazy images we get in our heads because some fashion editor or designer thinks that the skinnier people look, the better their size 00 clothes will look on them.  Honestly, who in the hell is really a grown-up SIZE 00!!!!???  How many of us would think of maybe trying this, knowing how desperate we were to lose our excessive weight and have maybe experienced some weight gain since our surgeries?!?  Be honest, especially when the compliments stop and the "little" clothes stop fitting again.  It is a hard, harsh reality that even the best of us emotionally have to tackle.  Wow.  I am still stunned...

Just some things to ponder as 2012 begins...

          1.  Why do you have to check the chat room agreement box each and every time you ever enter that chat room?!?!
          2.  What does it take to get your blog on the Main Blog page for members to see?!?!  I try to use proper syntax, etc.
               yet I see bloggers on there who blog like my teenage students text and spell!!!
          3.  Will realistic shoes make a comeback in 2012?  I mean, who can wear the stripper platform stilletttos if you weigh
               over 97 pounds?!?  Who, I ask, who?!?  Not real women, that's for sure.
          4.  Will marriage and its sanctity continue to be mocked? How old are the next bunch of Kardashian Kids? Please,
               spare us all...
          5.  How much fun will continuing on our paths of successful life change keep being?!?!?  Yippee.  Rejoice every day!

So, what are YOU pondering as the New Year begins?

Here's to a fabulous 2012,
Lo

 

Christmas is over and the New Year is on the horizon...Who doesn't look forward to a new year as a fresh start and a time that will bring better times!

I have spoken to some acquaintances over the Christmas season and it has been sad because so many, many people are struggling.  They are struggling financially, even if solidly employed, but people are also struggling emotionally.  Many, many people are alone at this time of year and because of the limelight shining on the Norman Rockwell, Hollywood image, Christmas Carol and Christmas card ideals of Christmas, those feelings become amplified.  People can get to feel very alone, very forgotten and be made very aware of what they do not have in their lives, not materially, but emotionally.  When commercialism blares at you, it is hard to turn down the volume.  That is why it is so important to not lose sight of what Christmas really does mean.  If we focus on the fact that Jesus's birth was really the birth of purpose, hope, faith, joy and love personified, those are all gifts that we are given and all gifts that we can give, freely.  Can you imagine life without purpose, hope, faith, joy and/or love?!?  Now that would be a very sad state of existence. Psalm 118:8 is said to be the center verse of the Holy Bible.  Check it out. I am thinking that this is really the whole meaning and message that our God intends for us.  It is a lesson we seem to have to keep learning over and over because we will continually face disappointment if we put all of our trust and faith in a human, who is, after all, human.

Happy 2012, everyone...and remember, "The greatest of these is LOVE."

I have been looking at those darn B & A pictures again.  I am wondering how far back some of them go because so many people look like they are caught in the 1980's!  I realize that a sense of fashion or style does not come naturally to everyone, nor does everyone care how they look, but seriously, some people do need a little help with dressing in ways that reveal the new them in classy and more modern ways.  Having wore up to size 6 and 7X in my pre-op life, I still always managed to find nice clothes and had hairstyles that were of the moment.  I always got complemented.  When I was at my post-op stages, I just easily transitioned into clothes that flattered my new sizes and my body.  I had to get a gentle kick in the butt from my best friend, though.  One day, while out shopping, I was walking ahead of her.  She stopped me and she said, "I am only telling you this for your own good.  Stop wearing clothes like that.  Do not let me see you in "safe" clothes anymore, clothes like you used to wear because you had no choice.  What you are wearing makes you still look too big and you are not even close to that size."  I realized she was right.  I'm thankful now for a mom who used to also gently guide me into wearing clothes that enhanced and flattered me and was also honest enough to tell me if something looked unflattering. As a teacher, my students always compliment me on my hair, make-up, accessories and outfits.  Now, please do not take this as I am superficial.  Far from it.  Some of it, the hair, make-up and nails, comes from my obese days when I wanted people to notice everything but my body!  Who can't relate to that?!  But I began to find my style as soon as I got back to 3X and lower.  And I notice how many of us "Post-Ops" sport those jeans!!!  I owned my first pair at 44 years of age and, believe me, I strutted them with all my stuff!  I am not trying to be rude, but then I also see some Post-Op pics that really belong on a whole other site.  Sad that some think slutty is sexy and that they could hardly wait to take sleazy pictures.  As a woman, I will say that "sexy" and "sex appeal" are so much more than putting it all out there.  Insecurity is behind that, lack of confidence that a man will like, want, desire you for anything else other than your body.  A real woman has so much more to offer than cleavage and buns hanging out.  Truly, it is hard to figure out how to dress in "normal" clothes after probably years of being grateful for finding much of anything with style to fit.  And it is also hard to admit that you just might really be pretty or handsome and it is okay to spend time on your grooming and hair and make-up.  I have cleaned out my closet 9 times since my GB surgery.  Some things were brand new.  Let it all go!!! Hold on to nothing.  And it is feasible to buy great, quality clothing at the off-price stores.  Ross, Burlington Coat Factory, and all of those places have great looks at very reasonable prices.  Study magazines and catalogs.  Try things on.  Find YOUR look, YOUR style and be okay that you, too, can look great and get complimented.  Maybe "Fashion Make-Over" sessions/seminars should be included in the whole WLS process, as it really is a total life change and a physical transformation. Maybe some of the surgical centers, doctors, etc. will consider adding something like that to their post-op plans.  Happy Shopping, fellow transformations!

Has your weight loss caused your "center of gravity" to shift? When I was huge, granted I probably waddled, but I rarely ever fell down!  However, with my dramatic weight loss, I found myself falling!!!  I think it may be because the whole center of the body shifts and has to realign itself when all that weight around the mid-section and elsewhere is no longer there!  At first I thought, "What the heck is wrong with me?!?! How did I become such a clumsy klutz?!"  Then, I began to realize just what was probably happening...I had been carrying myself in such a way for so long that now that I was lighter and moving differently, my brain and body were kind of weirded out!  I had to laugh at my own awkwardness, that's for sure.  It really does throw off your sense of balance a bit and it is a matter of adjusting to carrying yourself in a whole different manner.  So, chin and head up, shoulders back, back straight, swing those hips, Baby, and watch your step! 

I don't know about anyone else with sense out there, but I am just, first of all, baffled how this bunch all of the sudden became what they have in our culture, and secondly, keep wondering when they will just go away.  Does anyone else out there remember way back to one of the first reality shows ever on MTV or VHI that was called something like "Celebrity Cattle Drive" or something westernish?  Well, I do.  It was not long after the OJ trial, which is why, I guess, Kim herself was asked to participate on this show.  After all, it was the OJ trial that catapulted her father into "celebrity status" at that time.  Anyway, the show took a bunch of teen children of so-called Hollywood celebrities that were considered "spoiled and privileged" and took them on a cattle drive, doing all of the tasks and chores of a cowboy on a real, honest-to-goodness cattle drive!  The concept was to have them "rough it" and experience how people with less than them had to live.  I only remember Kim the most because she was absolutely the worst, most spoiled, most nasty and hateful person among those cast.  She was also the least attractive and her voice was WHINEY to the point of aggravation.  She refused to do just about everything asked of her, she was mean to the others, especially the other females. and she thought who she was would get her out of everything.  She had no sweetness, softness, kindness, compassion or empathy!  She also had none of the physical looks that she has today (if anyone doubts that, find a picture of her on the internet from 20 years or so ago - IF you can!),  The nose has definitely been changed, as have a few other body parts!  What amazes me is that I cannot be the only one who remembers this show and her being a part of it.  But better question yet, why has footage of this never surfaced since she became this new image on E!?!?!?  Where has it all gone? Granted, people can change and be transformed easily, thanks to modern surgical techniques, but transforming a person internally is not so easy.  Surgeons can change physical things about us, but they can't fix some things, that's for sure.  Most of us on this web site know the power of physical transformation and we are beautiful!  However, honestly, we also know that it is not so easy to have the mental transformation that must also occur happen as rapidly as the physical transformation.  I can't watch anything to do with these folks on this series anymore - and have not for a while - because I just know what I saw all those years ago and so it makes it very hard for me to believe that anything about this young lady is genuine and sincere.  I even doubt the sugary sweet voice is genuine, as I can still here the nasally whine of Kim before.  Hey, I am all about second chances.  I even believe in a million chances, but, honey, "You is what you is."  The bad thing about plastic is that it takes forever to depose in the landfills.  What's your take on this stuff? 

I have a hard time looking at the "Before and After" pictures on this site. Why? Because I feel cheated, yes cheated, when I see people who now weigh in the mid-to-lower 100's!!! Then I look at their "before" pic and I realize that they were 100 or more pounds lighter than me in the first place, but still!!!! Not fair! Even with all of my hard work, at my lowest post-op weight, I never got that low! It makes me scream in frustration! Then, I also look at some of those before pics and, having been there, I know some of those weights given are not true. It's like Oprah Almighty (and I say that with sarcasm, people) saying she weighed 280 or so at her heaviest, when those of us who have been there can look at her "fattest period" pictures and know she weighed at least 350 pounds! Get real. Some people weighed a lot more than they want to painfully admit, or might not have even known because we all know that once the scale reaches that point where it can no longer weigh you, we all say we weigh[ed] 250, 290, 300 or 350 pounds, depending on how high the scale we weighed on goes up to, or if we have/had even weighed ourselves since we were teens! Anyway, it makes me want to go through the whole life-risking procedure again to finally weigh that all-elusive 110 pounds!!! I feel like I still weigh 450+ pounds when I see those, and I do not like when those feelings start to boil up in me again. Hey, folks...Just keepin' it REAL.

So, I am a returnee to this site and I am reading a lot of people's different experiences after having "revisions" to their original weight loss surgeries.  My questions are centering around things like what are the reasons to have to have a revision, why are they needed, what is putting people back in that position to put it all "on the line" one more time, and what do you do if you feel that you have not quite gotten to the place you want to be and want your surgeon to do a "revision" because you feel you need that little extra one more time to take off those last 50 pounds that just won't seem to go away even if you remain as faithful to the program as you humanly can...yet he/she will not even consider it?!  How do you get the insurance to pay for a revision? And again, why would a surgeon who has seen you through all you have done not want to do the revision? Is it because he/she might take it as a personal insult or that they might have "failed" with that person's case? I hope people reply because I really want to hear from people who have been through or are trying to have a "revision."  Are you out there? Share your experiences with me, please!

I am surprised at the different pre-and-post-op plans that people are put on with WLS.  It is amazing because some people have greater success than others and I am really believing it is due to the habits that they are introduced to or are still sanctioned by their surgeons or the weight loss surgery "clinics" they opt for.  I am one who has a program that based itself on three nutritional, properly-proportioned meals a day, tons of water and some other "freebies" like sugar-free Jell-o and popsicles and Crystal Light.  I was never allowed the liquid protien drinks and I am glad.  I was not told to eat six small meals a day.  I guess it may work for others, but does that really constitute a LIFESTYLE change, if you really still get to "graze", in essence, all day still?  I don't know.  Going through WLS is such a personal thing.  It is hard to know what causes people to succeed - or fail - more than others. I am almost 9 years out and I have had a few ups and downs, but I believe my reason for more success than failure is that I still try to eat as I was redirected and do things like not eat and drink at the same time, but wait 30-45 minutes before or after whichever I have done.  I also try to remain physically active, choosing the free exercise activities of dancing and walking.  Don't get me wrong...I gained some back but because of the training and counseling I have received and still have at my disposal, I was able to get it together and get back on track.  Not only that, but remembering where I was keeps me motivated to never go back there and feel that physically horrible again!

Well, I have recently rediscovered this web site.  So far, I am not sure how I feel about what I see and hear here.  Nine years ago I underwent my transformation and received my blessing of a second chance in life.  Every day I am reminded of the miracle I am, thanks only to God.  Yet, I struggle.  I gained back some of the weight, but thankfully, got that back under control.  The things that became difficult to deal with, to name a few, have been: 1] When all the positive strokes, comments and attention began to wane. I say this became difficult not because of my ego, but because it was good for the spirit and the motivation to hear people say and express positive words.  They are encouraging.  When people get used to you again, it takes a bit of getting used to.  2] The excess skin.  If you do not have the financial leeway and means to get this taken care of, you are stuck.  For me, it has meant not really completing the journey mentally, to some degree, because I still have all of that hanging on me - always physically and, speaking honestly, often emotionally.  It is hard to really grasp the "new you" when you still see a body that doesn't quite match the one you know you can have, if you could afford it or insurance companies would get real about the true aftercare of this procedure.  I mean, women really have no boobs left after this...just hanging skin.  Again, I am being real.  God bless Oprah, Carny, Al and all other celebrities who can afford to get it sucked out, cut off, reconstructed, etc. after these surgical procedures, but what about those of us who work for a living and do not have that luxury?! Do you really think that a single, public high school teacher can afford the complete remodel?!  And that is another thing...when you literally put your life on the line for this and you do everything right, you follow the plan and you maintain the change for the rest of your life, why do I still sit home most weekends? A dear friend said to me, "Lo, you are so beautiful you do not even know it.  You have no idea how your outer beauty now matches your inner beauty that you always had.  Did you know that Miss America also sits home alone many nights? Men are afraid to approach beautiful women." And this from a male best friend.  Wow.  I am always going to be that hopeless romantic and I am never going to give up believing in love!