Jeanine S.
Hello all
My name is Jeanine, I'm 38 years old, I now weigh 433 pounds (OMG!!!) I have lived in Compton, Ar. now for 8 years. I am originally from Albany, Ga.
I am the youngest of 4 girls, I also have a younger, step sister and brother as well. I come from BIG happy Irish bunch of feeders. I was sick a LOT as a child, LOTS and LOTS of breathing issues, asthma, pneumonia etc, took my share of steroids, allergy shots and all kinda junk LOL. I have yoyed up and down weight wise off and on all my life thanks to the feeders and illness however wasn't totally out of control until after high school. I graduated from high school at 16, lol I know scary they used to think I was smart, dunno what happened to that. Started collage was gonna be a PT (physical therapist) and minor in respiratory therapy ( figured i could truly have empathy for patients in this field LOL). all seemed to be going according to plan until just before I turned 19, I got really sick with double pneumonia, collapsed lung couple other fun things and wound up in the hospital.
I figured no biggie was doing a break and at most i may miss one quarter as I would not be cleared to go back in time for the up coming registration, this also was not meant to be.
My grandmother was told she had lung cancer (during the time I was out of school) she would need round the clock care or need to be placed in a nursing home. Granny (my dad's mother) had told me HORROR stories all my life of when she worked in a nursing home when she was a young woman, she had always been TERRIFIED she would end up in one herself, I always promised her that would never happen and thank God it never did!!! I decided school could wait heck i would get another scholarship riiiight hahaha still haven't!! I do NOT regret one day of the 2 years I took care of granny, i was blessed to know her in a way I never would have gotten to otherwise. She remains one of the strongest woman I have ever known, with a faith NOTHING could shake (she was a pastors wife almost 50 years) I still miss her GREATLY!!! My granny and my best childhood friend died within two days of each other was a very hard time in my life. So not having the money to get back in school at that time, I worked multiple jobs 2 and 3 at a time, most times, this helped me block out my grief and pain plus save for school I hoped to go back soon!
While working at a group home for the mentally handicapped I met a woman who would become my roommate and best friend. She remains my closest and dearest friend to this day, even if she is a size 4 California health food freak haha. I lost a little weight during this time with all the working and living with the healthy freak. However it would only be a year or so until we met the men we would marry, best friends, we married and bought houses side by side was wonderful and more than we had dreamed of for about 2 years. ( LOL seems 2 years is all I ever got to be happy at a stretch hehe never noticed that before)
The man i married, the man I loved more than the air i breathed just as my mom always told me true love should be woke up one day and became someone I didn't know or want to know. Mike became VERY angry all the time, well with me and only in our house, usually to our walls, to the outside world he was still same sweet guy. Forgot to mention here my step brothers two kids had been living with us about a year when this started, thank god tho it broke my heart to give them up they were gone before it got as bad as it did. The anger grew and soon it was more than the walls he hit, I told no one, I just kept praying it would get better, he would get help. Then my next to the oldest sister came to stay with me, she was going thru a divorce and was about to have a hysterectomy due to early stages of cancer. things seemed to get a little better, Mike tho he had tried to isolate me from my family knew they all cared for him and wanted their respect, finally agreed to see a councilor, he was diagnosed as bipolar. I thought Thank god now we know what it is and it will get better.... wrong. Mike refused to take the medications, he didn't like how they made him feel. Much to my horror the abuse picked up again and got worse, soon my sister was seeing small things I could not hide as well and my best friend next door. By this time I was very isolated from friends and family and he had long since I thought sweetly so at the time convinced me to stop working and spend time at home with him and build our lives together.It got so bad that with my sister and friend to lean on I made him move out, only to have him come over the night before my sisters surgery and tell me he was having suicidal thoughts so I spent all night at the hospital with him one second he would cry, beg me to forgive him, say he loved me and the next say some of the most horrible things imaginable from how he wanted to hurt me physically to just mentally abusive things was a nightmare. I finally got him checked into the hospital ran home and picked up sis to head back to get her surgery done. My whole family gather during sister surgery and saw mike call, call , call from the ward they had him on, I had to answer all the calls as I was the contact for her doctor to update on her condition. My dad after finding out my sis was ok finally went to "visit" Mike, tho he was a preachers kid I think he and mike were a lot alike when dad was young hence why he and my mom divorced. I prayed and prayed for God to send me a way to fix things or show me I needed to divorce him a thought I hated!!! After a couple of luke warm tries on his part at counseling I filed for a divorce he would not sign the papers and made my life a living HELL!!! I became a recluse afraid to see anyone friends or family alike as he would always either find a way to ruin it and or threaten who I was with.
My only real outlet became the computer, it was easier to talk to people there.I met a really special man who was such a angel, he was a comfort straight from God!!! After a year or so talking on the Pc we started to talk on the phone a bit, nothing ever out of the way as I was still legally married and fighting for freedom. Eventually he told me he loved me and wanted to meet me LOL I freaked OUT!!!! After a LOT of convincing and gathering my WHOLE family to be with me, we agreed to meet!!( what he could have been a nice axe murderer and YES I did check his trunk hehe) I had told him I was huge and sent him pictures and he still said I was beautiful to him the poor blind man!! I just knew when we met he would RUN for the hills but he didn't he did just what he said he would do, he ran over to me looked me in the eyes with tears in his own, told me he loved me and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him, he assured me he would wait as long as it took to settle things with Mike and would help me thru it. We visited back and forth for while and this of course just made matters worse with mike I got to the point I figured he would either sign the papers because he felt I had betrayed him or kill me either way I would be free!! I eventually left everything behind and moved to Arkansas, of course he followed but my angel, my Steve was there as he promised he would be. Steve has practially NO temper, he is very calm, steady and strong make no mistake in that, he stood face to face and toe to toe with mike ( who I forgot to mention was special forces in the navy several years and quite frightening in more ways than one) He told him, I had made my choice face it and move on, eventually he did, so after 3 years from the first time i filed for divorce he gave in and set me free. It would take 3 more years for Steve to convince me to marry him after that ordeal however haha. i have put him thru so much poor man but this past June we will have been married 5 years now!!!! I still love him with all that I am and see us as a happy old couple some day, he is one of the main reasons I wanna be healthy so I can be there to hold his hand for years and years to come. He has stood by me thru so much, including the death of my father which caring for him resulted in a avalanche of heath issues accelerating or popping up for the first time like cellulitis.
Poor Steve has gotten the old and broken version of me, I have had many health problems these last few years, low thyroid (after years of being told it was fine sigh why couldn't they tell me that 200 pounds ago!!) high blood pressure, cellulitis that came with weeks in the hospital and a year in wound care to name but a few. My doctor convinced me to try for disability to work toward WLS. I really didn't want to do that but hated to feel like i was working poor Steve to death and not doing my part. so I did. Because of all my health issues they back dated my benefits that included medicare, 2 years which helped a ton and put me on track for WLS!! the journey has been long to get the surgery approved, but so has the journey that got me in the condition I am in, I just want to be healthy and finally enjoy my life and what God has given me. It is so hard to do for myself, i am the one every one in our family calls when they need, encouragement or care, my hubby tells me I need a shingle to hang out HAHA as friends and his family do me the same way as my own. Caring for others is easy putting me first is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am a work in progress but now have a hot date with doctor Horbostal November 14th that I hope will change my life forever and give me back the ability to be who I am and care for others, especially my hero hubby!! I am so grateful to have found all of you WONDERFUL people to travel this road with, I thank you for all the prayers, encouragement and love you have all shown me, i will endeavor to be worthy of them and make you all proud and be the best LOOSER I can be. I pray with all my heart I will be able to give back in some small way at least some of what you have given to me, PLEASE, PLEASE know I am here for you all should you need ANYTHING I may be able to help with, I pray for you all daily and appreciate you more than I can ever express!!! HUGS!! May god watch over you all on your journeys and bless you all ALWAYS!!
Jeanine
