QT2Be

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I've been lurking on the boards for quite some time.  Once I decided I was  desperate enough to actually do weight loss surgery I began the process.   "Desparate enough"  is not to be offensive, it just shows I haven't been able to  do this alone, enough wasting my money on every diet out there.  Anyway... my  first step was to secure the money (I knew I wouldn't meet my insurance  criteria); then off to the consultation.   I had my consultation on 8/24/06, everything went uneventful except I felt like  the staff looked at me like "what are you doing here?"  I am considered a lower  bmi, but just because I'm not a 35 or above doesn't mean I don't have the same  desires and needs to be near my ideal weight.  Anyway, consult was  uneventful....  then all the tests.  My timeframe -   8/24/06          Consultation and lab work -   Met with Dr., physiologist, nutritionist, etc.  Testing, testing, and more  testing.  8/30/06           Bloodwork reveals a urinary tract infection (so that is the  pain in my back). Of course I'm panicking because I'm worried it will postpone getting a surgery  date.  I have been so darn emotional!  This is ridiculous, I am very excited to  actually do this then I'm crying and dreaming bad things.   I have two beautiful  daughters and I don't want to think I would risk dying because of my  weight....this is the scariest thought.   Side note - I have decided not to tell anyone except my hubby.  He is supportive  of my decision, although I know he thinks I should be able to do this without  surgery.  I think he is concerned about the risk of surgery, but he too would  like me to be back to my old size again.  8/29/06            Sleep study test The technician ticked me off... When I arrived the technician asked my name,  once I told her she said "I didn't think you were my patient because you are too  skinny".  I wish!!!  I wanted to say so bad, maybe you too should consider the  band, but I didn't hey if she is happy and healthy with herself than great.  For  me, I am neither so I've decided to do something about it.  In the morning, she said it appears I have some apnea,  but didn't think it was severe  enough to require a cpap machine. Overall, it  was uneventful.   9/1/06              I HAVE A DATE!  September 20, 2006 5:30 am     Yippee!  9/4/06              I went to visit family for the weekend.  I just wanted to  tell my sister my news, but I'm keeping this to myself.  I couldn't shake the  feeling, I needed to visit them just in case I didn't make it! This thinking is  crazy because I know God is the     author of my life, he knew before I was even  born the date, time and how my life will end... so I put my life in HIS hands!   9/5/06             Psychological Evaluation This was very frustrating, primarily because the dr. was the dr. I was suppose  to see....okay no problem I can deal with this.  Then Dr. post- adolescent was  much more interested in my migraines and trying to get me as client to try  psychotherapy for migraines.  He wasn't knowledgeable at all regarding lap-band,  referring to eating food from packets i.e. optifast.  argh!  I told him I had support  from my hubby and forum then he went down this tangent about "telling my mother  and father".  Okay, here I am a 39 year old, wife and mother of two children, I  run an efficent household and CEO of a large company.  You've got to be joking!   I think I can decide who I want to tell about my own @$## health and wls.   Overall, I passed but I sure want to thump him in the head.  I won't bore you  will all the "assumptions"  he admitted to making.  He was a hoop to jump thru  to get the show on the road.  Tomorrow my pulmonary functioning test.  Stay tuned!  9/8/06      All tests are done! Yippee!  Pre-op appointment is 9/12, I can't  wait to get this thing moving.  I am eating so much I know I will not have  weight loss by Tuesday.  Stay tuned...  9/12/06    Today was totally nuts !  I was at work and decided to read over my  1st appointment stuff and making sure I had everything ready for my appointment  at 1:00.  I read that I was suppose to start pre-op diet 10 days before surgery!  Okay, today I am 8 days away  from surgery!  I guess I just put in my mind I could eat up to my pre-op  appointment.  You know I wasn't prepared for that!  So my "last supper" was  stinkin' vegetable beef soup (from the can).  I would have done something much  better.  Pre-op appointment was crazy! It seemed like I would never get to this day.  My  husband went with me, so I was pretty eager and anxious, because this is finally  happening.   I weight in.... I've gained 4 pounds!  This is the darn story of my  life!    We watched another powerpoint that explained everything from surgery,  risks, etc.  My doctor comes in and stops the presentation.  He informs me that  the hospital just informed him they were closing down the center.  WHAT!   Basically, he said he isn't leaving the area, but he doesn't know if the  follow-up care will be what he told me in my first appointment.  I'M SCHEDULED  FOR SURGERY NEXT WEDS!!!  He wasn't sure if my surgery would still occur on the 20th , or if he would need to reschedule in another facility or help me find  a doctor that could perform my surgery in the timeframe that would work for me  (Okay, I already have worked squared away.... my busy time at work begins in  November until the end of January).  Okay, I need to breath.....  He instructs me NOT to pay any money today (I was suppose to pay $5,000 today  and the balance prior to surgery).  He gave me the option to finish the pre-op  appointment, although he couldn't confirm my surgery yet.  Well, we already have  taken the time off of work and of course, I remain hopeful, I'll be in surgery  Wednesday morning.  Of course, I don't want this to delay me anymore. It was  obvious my surgeon was rattled.  He said he will call me as soon as he knows, he  is predicting by Thursday.  I see all the necessary staff and yes I'm all set  (at least medically) for surgery.  This is my panic thought:  If I have this at "another hospital" of which isn't  even in the works yet; surgery will not happen in the very near future. Worst yet, the cost of surgery might be cheaper but it  could also be more.  You need to know, I AM SELF PAY.  I don't have more money  to come up with!  When I started looking at WLS I was told $12,000, okay I  worked to get that amount.  Once I had it I called to schedule an appointment,  the price had gone up to $15,000 (because they were taken over by this hospital,  that is now closing them).  There is no way I can come up with more cash!!!   There is no way insurance will cover me for WLS, so if I can't get this done for  the price quoted or less, I'm on my way to Mexico.  I am very leary to go to  Mexico for WLS, but my husband is dead-set against it!  I don't mind paying more  since it is my health, but I simply can't afford more money. Argh!!    So here I sit, trying to comply with this liquid-only diet, fighting my  withdrawal-from-food-and-caffeine headache, and hoping this will not delay  surgery.  I know and pray that God's will be done, if that is for surgery 9/20  great, if not, I pray for the patience to accept that it isn't my way but HIS!    While I'm at  it, please pray for me to have the strength to stick with this pre-op diet.  I  don't feel like I'm going to bite anybody's head off just yet, but I know that  is coming and so is Aunt Flo.... argh!  It is a good thing I will be out of town  the next few days maybe this will save my family.  I can do my withdrawal and  pms away from home.    I'll let you know the outcome... until then.... 8 days until surgery!   9/15/06  I have had nothing but drama!  Two days ago, Dr.Rosen calls me and  tells me my surgery has been cancelled by the hospital, Provena Mercy.  I'm am  so devasted!  I called the quality assurance director and hospital administration, I was livid!   Yesterday,  Dr. Rosen called and gave me a referral to another surgeon (if I  wanted to go elsewhere), but stated he was appealing to the hospital and he  would continue my follow up even after they close the wish center.  I believe  what God has for me is for me, so I decided to wait for a response.  This morning Dr. Rosen  called and told me he will do  the surgery as scheduled. THANK YOU JESUS!   Dr.Rosen really went to bat for me!   I'm comforted that he will be the surgeon and committed to providing the  follow-up care.  I wasn't so concerned with the physiologist and nutritionist  because I have access to them even outside of the WISH Center.   Hopefully the  drama is done!  I'm 5 days from joining the band!  I can't wait until I can look  myself in the mirror and really like what I see looking back!   Now its just  this darn liquid diet!  9/19/06 Well... 1 more day.  I feel pretty good today, somewhat sereal. I was  pretty prickly last night - moody, irritable, and tearful.  I'll be ready to get  this over and changing my lifestyle.  I've been on this liquid diet for 8  stinkin' days, I did eat Wednesday night when they cancelled my surgery, but I  went back on Thursday.  So yesterday, I was STARVING!  Did I mention I could  have eaten my car seats on the way home.  For the most part, after the first few days, it wasn't as bad, but yesterday my head hunger kicked  in with a vengenance!  Today I feel normal again. Did I mention I've lost at  least 8 pounds since I've been in the land of the liquid.  Yeahh!!  That has  been a motivating factor!!!!  This weekend, I finally told my sister I was having surgery.  I didn't tell her  wls, but having a procedure done on my stomach.  Anyway, I knew if something  happened she would KILL my husband for not telling her.  I felt bad because I do  tell her everything.   So now I can have a clear mind.  Tomorrow this time  (12:33pm) I should be on the losing side.  Be blessed.  9/24/06 Yes, I made it!  I'm now 4 days post-op.  I had surgery on Wednesday 9/20, I was  at the hospital at 8 am, surgery wasn't until 11:30am.  Apparently they want you  there early to get you filled with IV fluids etc.  I became very tearful when it  was time for the surgery.  I still can't believe I was crying as I'm being  wheeled to the OR room.  Once I got there I was okay.  The anestiologist knew I was anxious, so she gave me drugs in IV and the next thing  I remember was waking up in OR.  I felt like I couldn't breath, but recovery was  okay.  I was told I had to stay over night, Dr. repaired a hiatal hernia (who  knew???) and apparently slightly poked my lung (what???)... long story short -  everything worked out fine.  Then the tears came again, I was tripping out I don't think I've ever been that  darn emotional.  Anyway, my husband went and got my girls so they could visit  me.  The rest of the stay is pretty blah, blah.  My biggest frustration is the  reaction of many of the staff saying things like "you really aren't THAT big for  wls".... Don't you think if I was still asking opinions I wouldn't be here in  the hospital?  I walked so much in the hospital, I swear they must have thought  I ants in my bed.    Once I got home, I swear, I think my bed is trying to kill me.  I hurt all over.   Gas was so bad, pent up inside and I couldn't get it out.  Finally I found  papaya enzyme ---literally what a relief!  Yesterday (my first day out), Hubby and I walked.  The distance before surgery  would have been a piece of cake, now, boy am I proud I made it home.  Came home  and rested up for the evening.  Took my girls to the Universoul circus, then off  to their basketball game.  I felt pretty beat up, so hubby brought some egg drop  soup (Yummy!) and off to bed I went.    The first few days were rough, but I'm feeling a lot better!  Stay tuned.  11/6/06 It has been a while since I've been here, and you can believe alot has changed.   First of all, I turned the big 40 yesterday!  I am feeling fabulous, fine, and  foxy at 40!  Happy Birthday to me!     Quick update - No fill yet but...I've lost 21 pounds so far, weigh in at 175.  I  know I as a low BMI'r the weight will come off slower but trust me when I say 21  pounds looks alot different on me.  I am really pleased I'm down 2 (almost 3)  sizes.  I look younger than I have in quite a while.  I am really loving all the  compliments from everyone, especially my hubby and even my girls.    Last night, my 12 year old showed me a video of myself last Christmas... I can't  believe that is what I looked like, it is crazy but I swear I look 10 years  younger.      I think I'm ready for my first fill... I'm trying to lose 15 pounds by  Christmas.  Life is good... Live, Love and Laugh.  Stay tuned.

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