Rochella B.

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I had my DS in May of 2006, and my lowest weight was 159 after having plastics in 2009. I recently went to the doctor, and I nearly threw up in my mouth a little bit when I stepped on the scale and saw 192!!! Oh God. Hardly any of my pants/jeans fit any longer. I am struggling with vitamins and figuring out mental health issues. I have A LOT going on health-wise, and I'm not sure how much of it is related to my weight. I have been begging for a hysterectomy (My last OB/GYN who has since retired put me on high-dose pills to help stop bleeding due to anemia, but now I have SEVERE break-through bleeding at least once a year. The scar tissue from all of my surgeries has my current OB/GYN scared to open me up for another surgery). I feel like I have reached an impasse. I am back to trying to comfort myself with carbs and stop the pain with alcohol. I know I am only hurting myself, but I honestly don't know where else to turn. I was hospitalized one year ago this week due to a suicide attempt. Ironically enough, even in the hospital, I was not given a low-carb/high-protein diet as requested, and I had none of my vitamins. I feel so unsupported by most, if not all, of my healthcare providers. I tried to go to my local tanning salon today, hoping to get another membership for the winter since I tend to have vitamin D deficiency. The salon closed in August. I read the sign on the door and wanted to cry. I feel like every time I try to do something to get better or feel better, I am shut down. I called several psychiatrists' offices a couple of weeks ago, looking for help. The soonest I could get into see anyone is the 25th of this month. It's like no one even cares about how bad I feel. It makes me want to give up. I can't afford another hospitalization. That came with a $2500 co-pay that I couldn't afford. It's now in collections and I'm in bankruptcy, so it's not even like emergency mental health will help me. It will only make my financial situation worse, and that has a lot to do with why I feel so horrid in the first place. I'm not looking for sympathy. I don't even care if anyone reads this. I just need to vent. I'm lost and alone. I feel like anything I've done up to this point to help my health has failed. All of it. 

March is right around the corner, and even though I know my Surgiversary isn't until May, if I know myself, I will forget to put in an update then. :) I can't believe it's been nearly 8 years since I had my DS. Do I still struggle with certain issues? Absolutely. Should I make better choices sometimes? Yes. However, has the DS continued to provide me with an improved quality of life? Absolutely. Since last year, I have some positive news! I had a 20 pound rebound after plastics, but now, I have somehow miraculously dropped that weight, and I live in the low 160's for the most part! I have no idea what my body/the DS is doing sometimes, but it must know how to work! I have started getting iron infusions. I received InFed last May and one infusion last week. If I have to go once (maybe twice) a year, that's not bad. My body seems to be holding on to the intravenous iron rather well! On the personal front, I have lived with my boyfriend for nearly two years now! My kids are doing well in school, and work is fine. I would like more money, but who wouldn't? I just thought it was awesome that after all this time, my DS is doing its job and keeping me at a healthy weight! I hope you are all well! Much love!

It has been a LONG time since I've posted. I need to learn that writing is a way of keeping ME accountable for my actions as well as informing others. I have regained 20 lbs. from my low of 159. I saw 180 on the scale the other day. YARGH! I freaked out and have been not eating as much. I was on a rip-rolling carb coaster when I realized that I needed to chill out and get back to basics so I could lose again and try to maintain a more healthy weight. I am only 5' 5", so it's not like 180 sits totally pretty on me. I've got the thick thighs and hips going on!!!! 

I am impressed that as of May 31st, it will be 7 years since my DS. I weighed 328 pounds that day, and I haven't looked back since. My life has TOTALLY changed. I love to have my picture taken now, and I love to show off my figure with new clothes! I'm going to add some new pics today, just to update my progress. I look SO much better now that I've had plastics. It's amazing! 

I'd love to add new friends/chat with others who share my struggle for the last 20-30 pounds to come off! 

--Dawn 

I haven't posted for a LONG time, but my journey is still ON! I divorced my husband in September after 10 years of marriage (a common side effect of weight-loss surgery, I know...). Life is good, though...dare I say even better??

I am scheduled for plastic surgery with Dr. Sauceda on May 31! I'm having a LBL, inner thigh lift, arm lift, breast lift and implants. I'm SO excited and ready to get my new body on!

I haven't lost anything since last June, but that's not entirely awful. I have had some ups and downs in trying to maintain. My OB/GYN put me on Mirena (IUD) and I gained 15 lbs.! It was horrible. I had terrible bloating and felt awful. I got rid of it after only a few months. Luckily, that weight dropped right off again, and I live in the mid 160's range. I know that if I would quit eating so many carbs and get on the wagon, I could get to goal. I am SUCH a naughty eater! Who knows? Maybe this summer. :-) It helps knowing that I do probably have at least 10 lbs of extra skin hanging around. Ha. Maybe if I win the lottery I'll be able to afford plastics! Well, that's all for this update! Everything is dandy with a DS!

Man, this slow weight loss thing is hard after seeing those pounds fly off the first several months after surgery! I keep thinking I am "done," and then a few more pounds shake them selves off of me!

I actually SAW 162 last week! I have, like usual, been bouncing up and down since then, but I'm loving the idea of creeping down into the 150s!! It's TOO exciting to be so close to goal!

I am learning to be patient and to trust the DS -- it knows what it's doing -- even though I don't! :-)

I actually SAW 172 yesterday! Whoopeee! I am afraid to get too hopeful that I will actually dip into the 160s! Wow. I can't imagine being within 20 pounds of goal...now if I can only stay away from the ice cream and cookies, then it might actually happen!

Well, it has been 2 months since I last posted. My new low is 177. I was terrified last week -- I gained 7 pounds and bounced up to 185! I was horrible! I literally had nightmares about it. Then, I lost 6 of the pounds overnight. I'm back to 179. Hopefully, another loss is on it's way. I'm afraid I will never get to goal. I mean, I am happy that I have lost about 150 pounds, but I want it all! I am hovering between a size 12 and 14 right now. Not too bad. I'd like to be a 10, and LOVE to be an 8. Maybe after plastics? I am teaching summer school this year for the first time. I am pretty excited. Newfound energy can cause me to do a lot more these days! Well, hopefully next time I update, more weight will be gone!

Here it is 9 days since my last post, and another 2 pounds finally slipped away. I'm now 193. Now I'm dying to get into the 180s so I'm not as scared of ever seeing a "2" as the first number on the scale!

My husband is at 167. He is so skinny. I really really hope he is done losing and gains some back. It feels like I will never weigh less than him! :-)

Digestion is going well. Actually, this week I've had the strange experience of eating without feeling the need to go 2 hours later. I normally have to be EXTREMELY careful about what I eat if I am out and about or I will pay the consequences a short time later.

Salad used to cause a great deal of distress, but this past week I have been able to eat chicken caesar salads with no problems. I just hope that this settling of my system doesn't mean that my DS is any less effective!

I HATE this winter! It has been SOOO cold! I know I am colder because of losing 133 pounds of insulation, but I guess I'll live. :-) I am down to 195. Eeek! I can't wait to be more "safely" down in onderland. I NEVER ever want to see 200s again! Even though I still have another 55 pounds to go, I have begun to daydream about plastics! I really want a tummy tuck and breast lift/augmentation. I have been lucky enough to not lose all of my chest, but I wonder if the saggy stuff I have left can be made into boobs I can live with! I really really hate my panni and want that sucker GONE! Well, I added a couple more pics today of myself and the hubby. Take a look at the bottom of this page in the "My Story" section to see the old pics from before! We are definitely a new couple!