reagan

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Things just arent going well for me right now.  The realtor called and the guy who owns the house is trying to back out of the deal, he says he didnt think the house would sell so fast and he really doesnt have any place to go yet.  I had a feeling this guy was going to pull something, my sister lives across the road from them and there always pulling crap, i should have known better but i wanted that house so bad.  The realtor is pissed at him she told him today that she was going to take him to small claims and sue him for her commision because she brought to him a preapproved buyer with the money and willing to pay his asking price.  I hope she sticks to it to.  This guy has had this place up for sell like 3 different times in the past and every time its almost sold he jerks it off the market.  Since i wasnt bickering over the price and i was just going to pay his asking price i asked that they leave the appliances he came back and said he would leave them if i paid 2000.  more yesterday.  I told the realtor to slick it i was paying full price and i dont need the appliances that bad.  So I think he's pissed now that is the kind of person this guy is.  Why would you list your house with a realtor if you werent really ready to sell.  It just sucks!!  Ive lost my dog, my husband may not get to come home and now i have lost the house i wanted.  Im just really bummed out right now.

I have been looking at a house and found out today my husband and I are approved for the loan we are both very happy about that.  Im still very bummed about his leave and very bummed about my little dog.

I just got done talking to my husband and he said his 2 week leave is likely to be cancelled.  They just got a mission thrown at them on June 1st and he probably wont be back in time to leave on june 3rd.  that sucks.

I went through the last interview today, and I also job shadowed and I got the Job!!  ICU, 3 twelve hour shifts every other weekend.  and since my husband will be home next week which i cant wait, they told me i could wait and start in the next orientation class which will be july 10th.
So im really excited!!  I still miss my little dog dearly, coming home is heart breaking because she was always at the door waiting on me to come in and now when i come home theres nothing there, I have been really very depressed about it.  Its amazing how closely we get attached to our pets.

This has been a very terrible weekend for me, My best friend of 13 years went into renal failure and died.  Before I go further I will say that it was my dog, but to me she was like a child to me i have had her longer than I have had my daughter.  I know some people say oh thats stupid its just a dog but this dog was really something special.  She had been there with me through many hard times.  She was always waiting for me at the door when i got home and I always knew that even if there was no one else she was always happy to see me.  She made me happy when i was sad and she was so damn cute it was almost impossible to get aggrivated at her.  But what i think i loved the most about her was the way she would look up at me and i dont know what it was but she would have such a look of trust and love for me it always made me feel good.  She always wanted to be with me if i was on the couch she wanted right next to me, in bed she would curl up right next to me, she would follow me from room to room to room. and in the yard she would usually stay right by my side.  I cant put into words how this has broken my heart and my daughters, i miss her so much i almost cant stand it.  it started friday night late very late she started passing blood large amts. i was up all night with her, saturday i took her to te vet and he said that she was a very sick pup that may not make it out of it but he said she may have a chance so i brought her home got the medicine down her and started pushing fluids, the bloody diarrhea stopped but she progressively just got worse and all of a sudden her head went straight up and almost contracted like that and she started flipping over and over, it was the most horrible thing ive ever seen.  I picked her up wrapped her in her blanket and just held her very tight till i finally felt her body go limp.  She was still breathing but she had that glazed over look and she began to cry and whimper and it was more than i could take.  I began to pray that God just take her now if she wasnt going to get better she began to have another seizure and they just kept coming.  I knew she was suffering, i knew she was hurting and i made the hardest decision i think ive ever made so far in my life i decided i had to put her to sleep, i didnt know how else to take away the pain and make the seizures stop. i couldnt take her to do it though it was ripping my heart out so my mom and step dad came over and i handed my best friend over to my mom wrapped up in her little blanket in her basket.  The vet told my mom that the siezures themselves would  have killed her   and Idid the right thing, but i cant help but feel if i would have tried harder i could have saved her somehow.  oh i wish i could have because my heart hurts so bad right now, I really really miss her.

Before surgery i had maybe 2 periods a year and that was normal for me, I loved it!!  Now though im having a period every other week and that is no exaggeration.  im already sick of that and i think that should have been explained to me as one of the side effects of surgery, so i could have went and got on the pill or something before hand so i would be regulated all ready.  My husband will be home in about 10 days and i will probably be ragging it most of the time That sucks!!!!!!!!!!
i know thats gross and graphic but I did rate it before hand!

Went to the interview, I think it went good, next monday I jobshadow for 4 hours and then I interview with the head of nursing.  The pay will be great to!!  I hope its where im supposed to be.

Monday I have a big job interview for what I hope is my dream job, I say hope because i have been around town enough times to know the stuff we think are our dreams turn out to be nightmares sometimes, I do hope I get it.  Its at a rather large hospital in the ICU, which i worked at the local small hospital ICU for the past 5 years but I know they wont even compare.  Im actually very nervous because I havent had a job interview for the last 5 years and for nursing they ask so many questions about feelings and patients and what you think about your self it is so hard on the spot like that i hate it.  My goal is to work in ICU quite awhile and get some real good juicy experience under my belt then I would like to shift to ER, but that is my goal right now, it may not be one 5 years from now you never know i guess we will see.  I wont absolutely will not start the job till my husband leaves to go back to Iraq and if they dont understand that then i dont think its a place I want to work.  I also must insist on having 2 weeks off when my husband comes home for good later at the end of the year.  I will just go in listen to what they have to offer then i will till them what i can offer and we will see what happens.  Wish me luck!!

I have posted some pictures of me preop and 1 month out.  They are not the best quality my mom took them and all the 1 month out ones didnt turn out so hot. but anyway I think there is a small diference between the two.

I actually should have wrote this yesterday but I didnt have time, Yesterday was 1 month out post-op for me.  Im down 27 pds and have lost 16 1/2 inches.  I have went from a size 26 to a size 22 and my BMI is now out of the 50's, barely but its out!!. So it is coming off pretty steady although I havent lost anything for a few days.  I do have one incision site that is looking slightly infected although it looks better today than yesterday hopefully it will heal up soon. so far so good.