reneenance28

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Well I am back and feeling much better. I hate that time which is the one true thing we cant get back has passed so fast. I am physically evolving and blossoming into a already beautiful but more beautiful young lady. It is so hard to believe that today is my 5 mnth anniversary and I am down 96 pounds. I am in a size 10 jeans and 12 regular clothes and I havent been this small since middle school. I will be adding some pictures soon. I couldnt quite remember how to do it but they will come soon. I hope all is well in oh world and just remember to stay focused, stay encouraged and be blessed.

Well I am 7 weeks out and my partner and I have seperated and Kaitlyn is still not back. But I have only two weeks until she returns so I am excited.
I am finally implementing new things into my diet and I am constantly working to get my protein and all my liquids. I have recently gotten saved and I am glad about it. Life has completely changed for me. Lost friends, releationships but I still wont complain. The leader of life has always been God but I now have more direction and more focus. On the flip side Ive got my brother back my relationship with my sister (in law but not really) is so much tighter. Work is good and I am better. When i originally came home I was so stressed. Not just with the changes that my body was experiencing but my relationship. I feel so much more free. School starts for my daughter in 2 weeks and I will be moving to a place just for my daughter and myself  in September. To date I have lost 56 pounds and going down.

If I am not here for awhile just keep me in your prayers and you all will be in mine. 

be blessed

Well hello...
It has been a hard struggle but I am here. I didnt want you all to think that I left yall. I am down from 254 starting weight to 215. ANd my month was last Wednesday. But it has not been easy though. There has been so much going on in my life but I encourage and implore all you you to keep me in your prayers. Please I need it. My daughter is still in NC and that can be a part in my lonliness. I miss her.  I dont really get a chance to talk to my sister that much. But I do talk to my brother if were not argueing.(HAHAHA) But that is family you gotta love them.

But I will be in touch soon.

Well.... When I woke up it was funny bc all I could think of was using the bathroom... And the were like you need to use the bedpan. So how about I sat on it and couldnt go. I dont know if it was mental or what. But I couldnt go. So they moved it and then one other nurse was like baby you didnt use it. But I think that I had just fallen asleep and that I forgot that I hadnt used it. Well how about then I really felt like that I had to go so I told them I really have to go now. So they put the bedpan under me and I went for like 5 minutes. HAHAHAHA.. I told them that I had to go.. I felt really droggy. My doctor doesnt use a drain tube and I had my procedure laproscopically and only had five little incisions the size of a nickel maybe and no stitches. Well right now it is just me and my partner and she at first was scared out of her mind and stayed out of work for a few days. BUT she has sice hreturned back to work and I am on my own. I live on the third floor of my complex so I dont go up and down allot while Chelle is not here. But I do walk in the breezeway. I have two bad days since Ive been home but for the most part Ive been okay. BUt i wasnt getting my protein and it is very important that you get your protein. Well Ive tried so many and dont desire any of them. So even with the milk intolerance ive chosen to drink milk. SKIM MILK>MY tummy feels weird... Just weird.

I cant believe that I am actually home and feeling ok. I really didnt know what to expect . But I made it. I am thankful for your prayers and support.
This is my journey and it is now beginning. It is my time to shine and reach the ultimate goal of healthiness. I am thankful that I have found OH and you guys have been a huge amount of support to me. Again thank you for your prayes and I am NOW ON THE LOOSING SIDE>>>>

ALICIA

It just seems like yesterday that this battle began. Oh and it was January of this year and here I am the night before surgery. There are so many thoughts and questions that are lingering in my head. Anxious to get this over with yet fearful of what to expect. Ususally when I am gong through something I have my parents and this will be my first experience that  they are not here. That alone is scary. My partner has shared her own insecurities and or concerns and right now all I want to do is CRY. Not that I am all that concerned but things didnt go as planned. As I had said before I originally thought that my sister would be here and now she is not. My partner is not the most affectionate and this the time to me when she should be that most. I know that i have to be strong. I know that my health depends on it.....
Well it is time. Surgeons instructions lead me to be taking a fleet laxative soda that is oh not so friendly and 4 oclock will be here before you know it.....
SEE YOU ON THE LOSING SIDE

Well I ventured to NC to bring my daughter for the summer and visit my lovely parents. Well the best part is that my parents had a preplanned trip which doesnt allow them to get here til Saturday at 0730 pm.

Well that sucks for me because Ive never really been here and them not be here so I am feeling akward. I mean this is HOME this is where I grew up but its so different without them being here.

Well I have received my presurgery email and it was very informative. I am nervous but yet anxious and excited. It is like happy and sad at the same time.

To blessed to be stressed but its monday.
I am billing suport at one of the local hospitals and that can be very busy. BUT.... I am feeling better. I had found out on Friday that my sister wasnt coming to my surgery. She is in law school in michigan however shes a gogetter so she also works full time. Well her job is not being very compassionate about her leaving to come be with me so thats what got me down over the weekend. I am feeling allot better. My parents are not against me having the surgery but nt neccesarily excited either... They are concerned about me and I understand. SO its me and Chelle against the world on surgery day....

Today i am having a very nervous day. It is may 19th. I was asked by my 6 year old was I going to die during the surgery. That saddens my heart. I know that I need to be healthier for her and my partner but most of all myself.
I dont know what my biggest fear is but I know that i need to do better.