Hi Everyone,
Much love to you for sending me prayers and well wishes. It is a bit of a struggle getting used to the new me. I am realizing that I am now having to battle this food addiction that I never admitted to having in the first place. Let me just say that I must've known something was wrong thats why I took it this far. : )
Everyone talked about the psychological process and I thought it would be basically routine, not realizing the emotions that surface which was the reasons of overeating. Be it relationship woes, boredom, family woes whatever. Now I see that it was pattern no one could justify for me. It is a pattern that I am now recognizing in my child who is 12 years old. I thank GOD that I have recognized that food was/is a problem and I am now dealing with it. I think I'm a little depressed because I can't get what I WANT. I could only eat what I need. I want to live and I don't want to die so I am forging into this new territory as a warrior to continue to save my life and get to know ME better. Learn how to deal with things outside of the food pleasures. I will continue to fight all negative emotions and I WILL cry but I know that I am saving my life and the life of my child by moving into this positive new lifestyle. I cant wait until I'm well enough to go out and rollerskate and walk a long walk and enjoy all my other senses. To God Be The Glory!!
I just wanted to let you all know that the surgery went well and I am alive. GAS PAINS were horrifying but I knew that if I was alive to feel the pain I knew I could make it through my faith in GOD. Man let me tell you if I didnt have those gas pains I would have felt barely any pain. Between the gas and the nausea forget about it. YUCK! Glad thats over with!! WHOO! RECUPERATION ISN'T FUN BUT I CONSIDER THIS BATTLE A BLESSING BECAUSE I AM ABLE TO GO THROUGH IT. IT'S ROUGH.... BUT I'M HOLDING ON AND I FIRM BELIEVER OF PRACTICING WHAT I PREACH : )
I had an amazing team of doctors with some SERIOUS compassion. My doctor George Ferzli, made me comfortable by giving my arms a place to rest easy. After that he spoke to me and said.. "I am going to hold your hand until you fall asleep OK. You are going to be fine." He held my hand and rubbed my hand until I fell asleep, GOD Bless this wonderful man of compassion. His entire team was so compassionate that I knew I was in the right place. I said to GOD before I went in, "Lord have your way with me because it is you that makes all things possible and it is you that will guide the hands that must heal me. Wherever I end up, back home with my immediate family or with YOU LORD my original family. I trust in your "will" because you MAKE NO MISTAKES!!
To my AMOS Family, I love you & thank you for your support. I am going to rest now because my back feels a little tight. : ) I promise to keep you updated on my progress as soon as I'm able. I'm ALIVE! I'M ALIVE! I'M ALIVE AND I'M ON MY WAY.
Rhapsody