Robin V.

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11/15/06

So is it possible that a fill could kick in like 3 weeks after the appointment?  I haven't felt any restriction, have been able to eat almost like presurgery.  Last  night we were in the mall and hit the food court.  Yeah, I know..bad bad bad.  So while my family hit yummy delicious Wendy's I opted for Japanese, thinking it would be better.  I got some bbq chicken, veggies and lo mein, no drink.  I decided to be the good bandster and follow the eating rules.  I ate a bite of the veggies and stole a fry or 5 from my boys before I made the decision of course.  Anyway....I ate all the chicken first.  When that was done I went for the veggies (cabbage, broccoli and carrots) and my little one had eaten all the broccoli.  There was maybe 3 bites of the rest, so I ate that.  Everything was going fine so why not eat the lo mein.  OMG!  It happened.  The chest pain.  The feeling of food still in my throat.  If I could just burp I would feel better.  I couldn't get the air up to burp.  I grabbed a napkin and by the time it got to my mouth it came up.  I don't know exactly what came up because I didn't look, but there was slime.  My husband just looked at me like I was a freak.  I instantly felt better.  I grabbed another fry and I thought my husband was going to break my finger.  Was so annoyed that I just brought food back up and then tried to eat again.  It's good to have his support because I didn't eat it.  I wasn't hungry the rest of the night.  This morning I got up and wasn't hungry.  That doesn't stop me, of course.  My boys had the yummiest chocolate muffins in the world for breakfast.  Well little Spencer didn't finish his, so I decided it would be better for me to finish his than to have a whole one later on.  Well, it didn't go down all that smoothly.  It wasn't as bad as last night, but there was definite discomfort there.  I am sticking to water for a while now.  Helps that I am not hungry.  So again...can the fill take this long to sink in????  On another note...I got a job! As posted earlier I was waiting to hear from a second interview I went on that I was definitely interested in.  They emailed me on Monday to let me know that they filled the position and thanked me very much.  I was disappointed but was ok because I have the other offer to fall back on.  Tuesday came and the first company still hadn't called me regarding my drug test and start date.  Guess who called on Tuesday.  The 2nd company that declined me the day before.  Seems they weren't all that impressed with their original hire, so they recinded the offer and called me.  I gladly accepted.  This is a very small company, which I like and it's more money.  Not as much as I was making, but definitely closer.  I have to let the first company know, and it's getting up the nerve to call that I am trying to muster up.  Ok...that's my update. 

11/11/06 

Ok, so I have been a baaaad bandster.  I have not been getting in the right amount of protein, haven't been getting in all my water, and I can get everything and anything down with ease.  Halloween candy is just about gone, and I had a big hand in that.  I have almost 0 restriction and I am not making good choices.  I think one of the reasons for my lapse is that I am home now during the day.  Remember I was laid off in September, so I have been home all of October and so far all of November.  So being home makes it so much easier for me to graze.  Another reason is I have been feeling very blue because no jobs have been coming my way.  I have been sending out resume after resume and have only had a handful of calls.  There was one I went on that I wanted so badly.  I did that interview on 10/30.  On 11/3 I hadn't heard from them so I called and left a message.  In the meantime I had gone on another interview that I knew I bombed, and wasn't interested in anyway.  When I didn't hear back from the first interview my mind began racing that I am too fat to get a job and no one is ever going to hire the big fat fatty.  The next week came and no call.  I had an interview on 11/6 and it was soso.  They gave me a personality test to bring home and complete.  That turned me off and I didn't want the position anyway.  I am feeling better that some calls have come in though.  I have another interview on 11/7.  Here's another one that I would really like.  It's very familiar to my previous employer and I think I would really like it.  Finally on 11/8 I call the first company back and am told that I am still a candidate but they have to finish up some more interviews.  i felt better knowing I wasn't completely eliminated.  The very next day they called to offer me the position!  I was very excited and nervous at the same time.  I still like the other job that I interviewed for.  I immediately sent them an email advising that I have been made another offer but would wait to hear back from them.  Meanwhile yesterday I went for the drug screening for the offer.  The other company emailed me back that they have 2 more interviews to complete and they will make an offer mid week next week and I am still in consideration.  If they don't make me an offer I always have the first job.  I am going to see if I can hold off starting with them until 12/4 so that way I can give the other company time to make a decision and finish out the month on unemployement.  Another eating trigger is I got an email regarding my 20 yr HS reunion next year.  OMG how much do I want to go and look fabulous...but that would require losing a minimum of 100 lbs. by next October.  Possible yes...likely probably not.  Not the best attitude or outlook but very realistic.  If I can't lose the weight I want I am not going.  I went to HS in a very hoity toity area and I am sure all the girls that I love to hate 20 yrs later are going to be rich, fabulous and full of botox.  I can't waddle in there close to 300 lbs.  So rather than kick my ass in gear I got in a funk about it and kept making bad choices.  Today I have committed to get my fat ass on the treadmill and make better choices and have portion control.  I need to do this.  I need to go to that reunion and look good.  There are people I have been talking to online that I was such good friends with and I have already blown them off on more than one occassion because I was too embarrassed to meet them.  I can't do that anymore, it hurts.  I want to be part of the living and not hiding from my past in my basement.  I need to be able to put my face in the sunshine and go without being worried about people looking at me, how do my clothes fit and hang, what the hell happened to that really cute girl I used to be.  Today is a nwe day and I am going to try my best to be the very best bandster I can be!  Oy...that was alot!

10-29-06
Well let me say I am friggin tired!  Yesterday morning I get up with the kids and go downstairs (a finished basement).  I go to turn on the computer and notice the rug is wet.  This has happened a couple times because hubby didn't clean out the gutters before a big rain.  I go up to wake his ass up and as I am coming back down I notice the carpet is wet in front of the unfinished part.  I open the door and there is like almost 2" of water cover the entire floor.  I thought I would pass out.  Seems our sump pump decided to take a dump on us in the middle of a Noreaster!  Hubby runs out to rent a super duper pump thing with a fire hose so we can pump the water out of the basement.  I shop vac'ed up all the water.  Well...we finally get everything in working order and we rest for the rest of the day.  We get ready to go to bed about midnight and he goes to check and the friggin pump (ours) isn't working again, unless you hit it.  We didn't want to hook up the rented pump because that would mean leaving the back door open all night while we were sleeping...plus the shitty weather and we just refinished that room and have brand new carpet.  On top of it all hubby has to get up at 5AM to go to a swap meet with his business partner to try and get their new business off the ground.  Soooo...someone has to stay up all night and watch the pump and hit it if it doesn't kick on.  Guess who got to stay up.  So now it's Sunday and he's gone.  I am sooo tired and every little thing my boys are doing is pissing me off.  We were supposed to go to a good friends Halloween party and had to cancel because someone has to be here to babysit the pump.  I had a meltdown on my older son and 10 seconds after it was over I felt horrible because he was in his room crying.  Not his fault I am so friggin tired.  I apologized and all is good again.  I haven't been making the best choices today needless to say.  I had some chips & salsa at like 4AM to keep me from falling over.  About 6:30 I had a chocolate muffin.  I have managed to squeeze in a few handfuls of peanut M&M's.  And I just had a big bowl of chilli and rice for lunch.  Can you say MOOOOO???  I am totally stuffed to the gills now.  I have been really good with my walking.  I have walked everynight beginning last Monday, with the exception of Friday.  Need one day of rest.  I am walking between 1/2 hr and 40 minutes.  According to my scale this morning I am down 3 lbs. since 10/19.  I'll take it.  Wish it could be a little faster, but something is waaaay better than nothing.  And that  wraps up my bitching for today.

10-23-06
So today was my first real bad eating day and it wasn't as bad as it could have been.  Had some left over grilled sausage/peppers/onions/potatoes from dinner last night.  Last night I was so good, but I had hubby there to keep a watchful eye on me.  So since he was at work today, I hit that frig and went right for the left overs.  There wasn't an obscene amount of food there, but it is certainly more than I have had since surgery.  It was probably 3 Italian sausages + about  3 medium sized red potatoes.  MOOOOO!  Then I drank some water.  Dinner was stew.  I had a bowl of it, and it was mostly veggies.  I know, should have had the meat for the protein, but it was tough and I didn't want to risk eating too much of it.  I drank some more water.  On a good note I got on the treadmill tonight.  First time ins MONTHS!  The display battery must not be working because there was no read out of time, distance or speed.  That's fine for now.  I get so uptight that I am not going fast enough, going far enough, walking long enough.  This way I can take it slow and easy to start.  If I push to soon I will hate it and find every excuse not to do it.  So slow and easy keeps me interested.  And I broke a sweat, so that's good.  Of course I had to have a snack, so I had a Jello Sugar Free Chocolate pudding with a dollap of Cool Whip.  Whoever invented Cool Whip should be president.  Anyway....that's where I am at today.  Unhappy about my food choices, but happy that I got my butt on the treadmill.  TTFN.


10-19-06
Well today I had my first fill.  I was very nervous. Driving down I kept asking hubby if I was going to get numbed, and I wondered how big the needle was going to be.  Before I left the house I called to see if I could eat anything.  My appointment wasn't until 1:45.  I was told to eat something lite.  I grabbed a sausage biscuit from Mickey's.  Not the best choice, but I knew I wouldn't be having one again for a while.  Hubby wouldn't let me eat anything else, which was fine because I really wasn't hungry anyway.  So the nurse practioner was great.  Very nice.  And she was 3 years out from her surgery.  When I asked about being numbed she told me the numbing needle would hurt more than the fill needle.  Time to get weighed.  My before surgery weight according the office notes was 307 lbs.   Today I was 295 lbs.  WOW, a 12 lb. loss in 6 weeks.  I was thrilled.  So the fill was a breeze.  She pushed down on my port area and put the needle in.  Of course when she left the room to get the doctor and left the needle hanging out of me I was a bit freaked out, but not the end of the world.  So in the end I have 3 cc's in my VG band.  Probably won't give me great restriction, but little baby steps.  I came home and had soup for dinner.  I am back to stage 2 for the next 48 hours.  I also joined a post op support group tonight.  Usually there are 6 or so people in the group but tonight it was me and one other woman, who was very nice.  She had her band done in February 2005 and has about 20 lbs left to go.  I didn't get where she started at.  Well, I had to weigh in.  Didn't like this scale.  I gave her my starting weight and according to the scale tonight I only lost 3.5 lbs since surgery.  I didn't like hearing that.  So the meeting was ok.  I got told about how to eat, 75g of protein everyday.  Nothing goes in my mouth until the protein is all in.  We talked about other stuff too.  It's good to be around others who understand and have been where I am at.  As good as Jack is, he just doesn't understand.  He is really good about keeping me in line with my eating though, I tell you that.  So that's it for now.  Gonna have to wait and see how I do with this fill.  My next fill is scheduled for 12/7.

10-17-06
So Thursday I go for my first fill....thank GOD!  I have no restriction.  I certainly can't eat the amount that I used to be able to at one sitting, but I can put more away now than I did weeks ago.  I hate it.  This morning I met hubby for breakfast and I put away some scrambled eggs, breakfast potatoes and hash.  The entire plate.  Of course I was super full when I was done, but still...I should NEVER have eaten that much.  I didn't have pain or anything...it just kept going down.  I have also lost the satisfied feeling for hours, so the idea of snacking is very appealing.  I am trying so hard to stay in line, but it's getting harder and harder.  I have actually gained back 2 of the 17 lbs I have lost.  I am so looking forward to the fill...so so so looking forward to the fill. 

10-5-06
Well here it is just about a month since my surgery and everything is going great. I have had no problems. The clear liquids stage got to be tough at the end, so mushies was very welcomed. By the end of that stage I was ready to chew. Well, since I have last posted my job came to an end. Found out in August that the company was being sold and we would all lose our jobs sometime in September. The end came 9/15. I was asked to go to Alabama for 3 weeks to help out with the transition, so I gladly jumped at the opportunity. Turns out it was a giant waste of time. Let me just say I wasn't feeling the Southern Hospitality. Being alone, in a strange state, with nothing to do at night but sit in a lonely hotel room made making good food choices very hard. I have to admit I wasn't always perfect, but I was way way way better than I would have been had I not been banded. I was supposed to go back for a 3rd week but decided that it just wasn't worth it so I quit. Now I am officially unemployed and it's weird! I have never been home with my boys, so being home with my 2 1/2 yr old and not having a schedule in place is tough going! But anyway....so far to date...if my scale is correct and the hospital scale was correct day of surgery I am down 17 lbs! I can hardly believe it myself! I am not really feeling it or seeing it, but my hubby and mother in law are telling me they can tell....guess my huge pregnant looking belly isn't so big anymore. I did have a small victory today. I had bought some jeans for my Alabama trip..size 26..and when I got home from the store I couldn't even put them on. I was so upset and wondering if the surgery was worth it. Regardless of how much I read I was still expecting to drop 30 lbs immediatly post op. Anyway....I tried on the pants last night and they fit...not just buttoned, but fit comfortably! So there is my proof that something is happening. I have to call the doctor later for my check in. I think after today he said it would be another 2-3 weeks before I go in for a fill. I am looking forward to that because my restiction has definitely let up since surgery. I still get full on significantly less than I used to eat...but it's certainly more than I could eat when I first got home. I have to be more conscience about the quantity I am eating and what I am eating that's for sure. In fact I experienced my first hockey puck in the chest the other night at the Chinese Buffet. OMG...don't want that again. So anyway....that's the latest and greatest. I have added some real beauty pictures from over the summer. Haven't changed that much....just gained a few. I am not putting another picture up until I get under 300 lbs....so as of this morning I only have 2 more to go.

10-13-06
Well last Sautrday, 10/7 was my 37th birthday and I am feeling good. I can't believe I am down 17 lbs.! I called my surgeon on Thursday 10/5 for my follow up but he wasn't in. I had a big scare on 10/7. I was having a great day, putting out all my Halloween decorations. I told hubby I wanted him to show me how to use the push mower...maybe some excersize. Well, as I got up to so he could show me I had a PAIN in my belly. It felt like someone ripped my port incision wide open. I totally expected to look down and see a shirt full of blood. Hubby came rushing over because I cried out and went sheet white. I went over to lean on my car and I felt faint. I have never felt that way before. It felt like someone had cut me. I sat back down and I kept going between hot and sweaty to cold and clamy. Felt like if I could just throw up it would all be better! I managed to get into bed and I noticed the pain wasn't at my incision at all, it was below the incision, just to the right of my belly button. I didn't know what it could be and I was freaked out. I took a nap and when I woke up I felt much better, but it was like my first day home from the hospital...I was scared to move for fear of the pain again. Anyway...hubby and boys took me out to dinner to the most incredible Mexican restaurant. I was such a good girl. I got a shrimp quesadilla with rice and refried beans on the side. I ate about 1/2 the quesadilla, a bite or two of the rice and a bite or two of the beans. I was very proud of myself for my restraint. Especially now because I don't have as much restriction, so I could have gone overboard and ate more, only to regret it later. I did indulge in Fried Ice Cream...mmmmm. It came out flaming, which was cool. Took a big heaping spoonful and thought I would die. Seems they put tequila in the bottom on the dish, which is what they lit on fire. UGH..I HATE tequila. So that put an end to my fried ice cream, which was probably a blessing in disquise. So..Monday morning I called the surgeon's office again and he called later that day. I already had an idea of what it could be because of all the wonderful responses to my posting. And shocking...they were all right. I didn't realize my port was below the incision, I thought it was above. So he said it sounds like I moved to quickly or the wrong way and I probably pulled a muscle and it would be sore for a few days. At least it was an answer. He also told me to call the office the next day to schedule my first fill! Sooo, naturally first thing the next morning I call his office to schedule my fill. I just don't like one girl in his office. She has given me problems in the past and I know of another girl who has had problems with her. Anyway, I tell her I need the fill appointment and she gets annoyed because they are booked. When I tell her the Dr. told me to call and schedule she tells me she will squeeze me in on the 12th at 12:30. Great! When I go to put it on my calander I realize that was the wrong week, he wanted me to come in the following week...the 19th. I call her back and boy did she get an attitude. Telling me that fills are schedule 6 weeks in advance and there is no way I can get in that week. I proceed to tell her that I only had surgery 6 weeks ago and that I was told by the doctor to call and schedule for that day. Again annoyed she tells me she has to check with the doctor the next day and she will call me. Boy, I was hot...but I let it go. Hahahaha...next day she calls me to tell me the doctor will see me on the 19th at 1:45. HA...told ya told ya nanny nanny poo poo. I have been holding steady at the 17 lb. weight loss for about a week now. I am disappointed it's not going down anymore, but am thrilled that it's holding and I am not gaining. I don't have real good restriction at all. I have to really moniter myself not to overeat, and it's getting harder. I still feel full on alot less, but I can push the amount now which is my biggest problem. I just have to hang on another week! Hubby is going to take the day off and go with me. We are going to make a day of it, so it should be nice. So that's about it for me, for now.

9-05-06
Well, Thursday is supposed to be my day, but I don't think it's going to happen. When I went to the cardio doctor I was supposed to have a stress test done. Stupidly on my part, since they scheduled me for surgery without asking about the cardiologist appointment, I skipped the test. Today...yes, today, 2 days before surgery at 3PM...I get a call from the surgeon's office asking about my visit to the cardiologist. They give the cardiologist's office a call and are told since I didn't go for the test they are not giving medical clearance...hence having to put off the surgery. I call the cardiologist's office and they won't fit me in any sooner than 9/15 at my local office. I can go to the office further away on 9/11 so I booked the appointment. Called hubby crying and he suggested asking the surgeon's office if they can recommend where I can get it done. I call them back and she is going to try to see if she can get me an appointment at the hospital tomorrow. If not, then I will go on the 11th and reschedule the surgery. Thing is I am going to have to put off the surgery until the 2nd week of October now because I have to travel for work for 3 weeks beginning 9/18. I am ready now, so this really really stinks! Timing was just perfect now....I have already scheduled the time off work, plus my mother in law was coming out to stay with my boys. This really is throwing a monkey wrench into everything. I mean, yes it's my fault, I should have went for the test. BUT, I also believe that the surgery should not have been scheduled until every test and every T was crossed. And why is it being reviewed 2 days before...why couldn't this have come up last week when I was there for 8 hours???? Frustrating, very frustrating. Just wanna cry. Well the surgeon's office called me back and has set up a cardiac consult tomorrow. I am so relieved. I go at 1:00. If all goes well with that doctor and he doesn't see the need for a stress test the surgery is still on. Ok, back to having my fingers crossed.

9-6-6
Ok, just got back from the cardiac consult arranged for me by my surgeon and he's given me medical clearance! I can't believe it! I am still on for tomorrow morning at 8AM. They need me at the hospital at 6:15AM so we are going to get a hotel close to the hospital.

9-10-6
Well, I had surgery on the 7th so that makes me 3 days post op. We got to the hotel late on Wednesday night. Seems like everything that could go wrong was going wrong. My "last meal" was Italian of course, but not my first choice of a place. I had spaghetti with sausgage & peppers and garlic bread. Didn't even have dessert. Wasn't quite the romantic evening I was hoping for. By the time we got settled into the room it was after 11PM and I had to get up at 5AM, so basically we cuddled a bit and I went to bed. Everything moved so quickly at the hospital that morning...boom boom boom. Before I knew it they were wheeling me into the recovery room to prep me for surgery. By the time they got me into the operating room I was pretty dopey. I must say that the nurses that actually dealt with me were nice, but damn if they didn't take their time getting to me or not come at all. I was pretty in and out of it all day so I finally told my hubby to get out of there around 5PM. Go have something to eat, rest...it was a long day for him too. Well not long after he left I had to go to the bathroom. Being hooked up to IV's and some leg thingy I couldn't just get up to go. Well I called the nurses station for almost 2 hours and no one came. Finally a girlfriend from work came in and unhooked me so I could go. That was the most frustrating part I think I would ask for ice chips and they would never come back. Then waking me up every couple hours to take my temp and blood pressure was a bit annoying. Anyway...I made it through the night and my surgeon came in first thing and took me down for the swallow xray. All was good! If I could hold down juice I would be on my way. Well, I did and we left. It was good to get home, but I have a 2 1/2 yr old and the thought of being with him scared me, so he wound up going home with my mother in law. I feel awful, like I haven't seen him in weeks. I wouldn't have been able to deal with him right away though, he's very very clingy and a big momma's boy. So today we went out and I did some shopping. It felt so good to take a shower. We stopped for lunch and I ordered soup. I was upset when it came and it wasn't a clear soup like I thought I was ordering so I just ate the gravey and dealt with it. Crazy to say, but I do get hungry. Doctor has recommended only clear liquids till Thursday, so I can't see how I can get any protein when on clear liquids. If I made it this far I hope I can make it till Thursday. Will keep you posted!

8-3-06
Well here's the latest and greatest. As of this morning I never received my surgery confirmation and I have been really bummed. I feel like unless I call the office I get no information. So naturally I called today. It was confirmed that I am scheduled for 9/7 at 8AM...woo hoo! I asked about the pre-op testing and was told that I would be called to schedule. I told the woman that I picked the date of 8/29 and she said someone would call to confirm. I asked if everything was approved and she told me I would not have been put on the schedule if I had not been approved. When I asked if there we going to be any out of pocket expenses she told me to call my insurance company. It almost felt like I was bugging her. I guess I have to sit and wait again....it's so very frustrating. The other news is I was told by my employers that they have sold the company and I have about 5-6 weeks before the new owners move the company to TN (I live in NY) and I would be given a very generous severence of 2 months salary. Ha...after being here for 10 years and the things I have been called on to do, I do not find that to be a very generous gift. Been in tears all day. Have a family, a home, a car payment. My job pays very well for this area, so to find something with the same salary range is going to be such a challange. And I have such LOW self esteem that I don't think I come off well in an interview....and I feel like my weight is going to be such a hinderence. I am scared to death right now. My husband is wonderful, supportive and reassuring. I know in the end all will be fine, that God works in mysterious ways, that when one door closes another opens, onward and upward.....but it still sucks right now.

8-21-06
Well, I went to a surgical support group and my surgeon was there. I let him know how I have been having trouble with his office and he told me who to call and who to speak with specifically. I called right away and was confirmed on 8/29 for my preop testing and surgery on 9/7. I can hardly believe it! I have finally come to peace with losing my job. Have had a couple interviews and they went horribly. I don't expect to hear from them. I have another tomorrow. I was also asked by the new owners today if I would be willing to go to AL a couple times a week for about a month to train my replacements. Of course I said yes. I was also told that if I like it there might be a permanent job waiting for me. Something to think about I suppose. My family is young, so if we were to make such a move now would be the time, but on the other hand we would have no one down there...everyone is in NY, NJ and PA. Alot for us to think about. Plus I would have to make sure there is a doctor locally who can take care of fills for me. I broke down and told a girl in my office about the surgery. She was very encouraging and jealous. In fact, last Friday she met with my surgeon and now she is starting the journey. Next week she will go for all the preinsurance approval tests and her GYN has agreed to write her a letter of medical necessity. Hopefully she will get it done not long after me and we can support each other. By the time we both have it done we will no longer be working together, so I think this will also be a help in keeping our friendship going. I guess that is about it for now....just more waiting, always waiting.

8-29-06
Today I had the preop testing...and let me tell you it left me in a baaaad mood! My day didn't start off great being I way overslept! Had to rush to get the little guy to the babysitter so I could start the hour trek to the hospital. Ughh, and I hate the drive as is so to have it pouring rain was just awful! I didn't have a long wait to get to the waiting area, but then I sat for a while waiting for the tests to begin. I had to answer a bunch of questions which was easy. She told me I would need an EKG and I told her I had one done at the cardiologist about a month ago and she said we could just have that one faxed down. Didn't want to risk the insurance putting up a stink to pay for another test since I had one so recently. Anyway then it was off to get weighed. OMG, I almost fainted. 310 lbs. I am so beyond anything I could have ever imagined I almost started to cry. She was very nice and told me she never would have thought that and reminded me why I was there and that number would be changing sooner than later. That was nice and I did feel better. Then it was off to give blood, pee and get a chest Xray. Blood girl was nice but Xray girl left alot to be desired. Anyway, the original nurse told me I had to head over to the surgeon's office to sign the final consent papers....so off I went. When I get there she tells me the surgeon is in surgery so I need to see another doctor there to get the final clearance. OY...was not expecting that. I wanted to be done and get to work. So this was about 11:30. They kept me sitting there until after 2:00! I was FURIOUS! How rude to think people have all the time in the world to sit around like that. There were other patients who had made appointments weeks/months ago sitting there for over 2 hours. I finally get into see him and he starts with the usual questions. He asks where my EKG is and I tell him I am going to have it faxed to him and he sorta got annoyed and told me he couldn't sign off till he got it. Well duh, thanks for the newflash. He also tells me I have a urinary tract infection and prescripes me some antibiotics. Anyway, with that done I get his fax number and I am free to leave. I check with the surgeon's office and she tells me as far as they are concerned I am all set for the 7th and to just call the day before to confirm the time. I get to my car and it's 2:45. I had been there since 9:30 that morning. What a long long long day. And it's still raining. And I haven't eaten all day because it was fasting bloodwork they needed, so I am starving and very crabby. I get on my way and I get to the bridge and the notorious traffic is backed up for about 1/2 mile before the bridge and it's bumper to bumper. Waaaaa. So while sitting in traffic I decide to call the cardiologists office to get the EKG faxed. Oy, another pain in the ass. I have to come in to sign a release consent. Totally annoyed I find the first McDonald's I can and get myself some food. Rain is coming down in buckets, so it's hard to see driving...I just wanted to get home so bad. I get to the babysitter's and get my little guy and we head off to the doctor's office to sign away my consent. That went easy. Then we dropped off my UTI prescription and we finally got home about 6:00. What a friggin day. Needless to say the best part of the day was hearing that my surgery is scheduled for 9/7 at 8AM!

8-31-06
So today I call the doctor's office to see if they received by EKG and they hadn't. So I call the cardiologist's office and get put on hold forever. Naturally she comes back that she will have to call me back. Shocking, she never does. I call back and am told that it was faxed a little while ealier. I call the doctor's office to confirm and they have received it. Ok...ducks are starting to be in a row. I am kinda worried because I have to go out of town on business for 3 weeks beginning 9/18. I will be gone 3-4 days a week and coming home on the weekends. I don't know when I am going to be able to schedule my follow up visit and how I am going to manage my eating, but it's just gonna have to be done is all. Stress stress stress! Got home and had the confirmation letter from BC/BS that my hospital stay has been approved. I still can hardly believe it! This is Labor Day weekend so I think I am going to knock my socks off with food and drinks because this is it folks! Can you believe it...I can't!

7-3-6
Ok, I have gone to the seminar, had the surgeon consult and today I had the psych evaluation, as well as picked up the letter from my primary. Wedneday, 7-5-6 I will have the pre-insurance medical workup and from that point I guess it is just waiting to get approval from my insurance company. From all I keep hearing, with my BMI and other comorbidities and my insurance company, I shouldn't have any problems, but until I actually hear that I am approved I am trying really hard not to get my hopes up. Keeping my fingers crossed...will keep you posted as it goes along!

7-5-6
Today I went to the hospital today for some of the preop testing. I told the pulminory doctor that I have had occassional chest pain, so he would not give me clearance until I see a cardiologist. Great, there's a delay I was not expecting. The echo, respitory therapist and nutritionist all went fine. I finally get to the doctor's office only to find the girl I need to meet with is on vacation. I gave the letter of recommendation from my primary to another girl, and turns out they had a mistake in the letter by having my age wrong. So bascially I thought I would be good to go as of today, and now I have a couple more stumbling blocks in my way. I have had the tests done, they have received my psych eval...now I have to get the cardiologist ok and have the letter refaxed with my correct age. I don't want to have the surgery until after I get back from vacation in the middle of August, but I just wanted to have everything free and clear, so when I got back I wouldn't have any worries and I would just be waiting for the scheduled date. Guess again!

7-7-6
Well last night I went to my first support group. It was good. Lots of people sharing their stories and experiences. I have already marked my calander for the next meeting in August. Since I discovered there was a mistake in the letter from my primary doctor 2 days ago I have called the doctor's office each day asking to be called and I have yet to get a call back. I am beginning to get upset and frustrated. I understand it's a huge practice, with lots going on, but if someone is calling each day, you would think that would say to someone that I need a call back. I need to get the letter corrected, as well as have a cardio dr recommended so I can get all my paperwork in line for insurance submission. I am a nervous wreck about applying for approval. I can't imagine there would be any reason I could be denied, but I don't have good luck, so I am sure there is something they could find to slam the door in my face. Just feeling a bit stressed about it today. Sitting at the meeting last night they were all announcing their anniversary dates or their surgery dates and there I sat, still in the hoping stage. Grrrr...Ok, a few hours have passed and I finally heard from my PCP's office. The nurse apologized, of course, for the mistake with my letter and is going to fax a corrected letter to my surgeon's office. Will have to all next week to follow up to make sure it was taken care of. I also made the cardio appointment for 7/14. Will make sure his report gets faxed to both the surgeon and pulminary dr that requested I see the cardio doctor. Hopefully by the end of this month all the requirements will be met and everything can be submitted to my insurance for approval. Wouldn't it be a kick in the ass if I jump through all these hoops and I get denied! Uggh!

7-12-6
Called the surgeon's office today to see if they have received the letter from my PCP and naturally they haven't. This is very frustrating! I called the PCP's office and left a message to be called, but as of 5PM I haven't received a call back.

7-13-6
Called PCP office again regarding letter and had to leave a message. The girl taking the message let it slip that he's on vacation but she would pass on the message. Guess that is why I haven't gotten a call back, figure he's out and can't do the letter, so why call. Would be nice if they would call to let me know he's on vacation and when he will be back and might get to faxing the corrected letter, but I guess I am expecting too much. Wow, I sound a bit bitchy today. I go to the cardiologist tomorrow, so hopefully that will go smoothly and I can get that duck in it's place, so then all I will be waiting on is the PCP letter before the insurance submission. Hurry up to wait, hurry up to wait. Ok...PCP office called back and told me the corrected letter had been faxed, but she would fax it again. I will call the surgeon's office tomorrow to check. I don't want to be a pest, but I wanna keep the ball rolling.

7-14-6
Ok, so I called the surgeon's office this morning to confirm receipt of the fax from my PCP. I have to leave a message. I run out to pick up lunch and I come back to a message from the surgeon's office saying they did receive the letter and they have submitted everything to insurance and will contact me once they receive an answer. Well, I am confused now...because it was my understanding that the pulminary doctor didn't sign off on anything because I told him I had occassional chest pain. I was told to see a cardiologist, which I have an appointment for today. So do I still go to the cardio dr? I have tried calling the office back, but it's there lunch so I have to wait a bit...but what if I don't get anyone on the phone???? If I don't go and insurance denies me because of his notes, then I have to make the appointment over again...but if it goes through then I will have gone today for no reason. What to do...what to do!

7-19-6
I went to the cardiologist last Friday and everything went well. My EKG and blood pressure were fine. I have an appointment to take a stress test on 8/8. Doctor doesn't believe it's necessary, but said it's better to have it done and waiting if it's requested, then to wait to be requested. If I get approved before then I can always cancel the appointment. So I guess I am just in a holding pattern...waiting to see if I get approved. I was told by the surgeon's office last Friday that everything was submitted to insurance. Not sure how long it takes or how long I should wait before I call. I guess I should at least give it a week before I give them a ring. I guess there isn't much else to post until I get word.

7-24-6
Well Saturday I got a letter in the mail from my insurance company that is a bit confusing. It says the surgery is covered, but they would like to get an estimate of the cost prior to final approval. Sound weird? It also advised for the doctor's office to get predetermination from the hospital portion of my insurance. I am very confused. Today I called the doctor's office to find out what it all means. The receptionist, nurse or whoever she was answering the phone seemed to brush me off and that aggrevated me. When I explained what was going on she put me on hold. When she came back all she told me is that I was approved and that the surgery scheduler would contact me to set up a date. I haven't met with anyone in the office, so I don't have a contact name or anything down there...but I would like some more informatoin, like is there anything that I am going to have to pay out of pocket, just more information about what to expect. I am all so confused by this and I feel like I am stumbling along in the dark alone.

7-31-06
Well, I hadn't heard anything from the surgeon's office so I decided this morning I would call to find out what's going on. Well...we picked a DATE! OMG OMG OMG OMG! I really wanted to do it right before Labor Day so I would have the long weekend to recover, but the surgeon is away so we picked September 5th for surgery with pre-op testing on August 29. She told me she would check all the dates with the OR and call me this afternoon to confirm. Well, I hung up and realized that the 5th is no good because the 6th is the first day of school and I have to be home for that. I called back immediately and rescheduled for the 7th. I can't believe it I can't believe it I can't believe it! Now I am waiting for the call back to confirm so I can put in the time at work. OMG OMG OMG. I called hubby and he's very excited for me, he knows how much I want this. OMG OMG OMG!