SamanthaM
My name is Samantha, and I don't want to die.
Sometimes, when I feel anxiety, I go to bed with my heart racing, and I worry about things that don't need worried about. But I do worry about waking up, once in a while. My heart is beating so quickly that I become concerned that I might have a heart attack overnight. With all the factors I have going against me, both of my own doing and through quirk of genetics, it doesn't seem unlikely.
I've just started a journey that I hope will make my life better. I've just entered therapy for depression, anxiety, grief and weight loss. My psychologist has recommended I contact the St. Vincent Carmel (Indiana) Bariatric Center. It is world-class, from what I understand, and less than three miles away from where I live. Today, July 25, 2008, I sent in my personal profile to the Center. I've done it once before, and then didn't follow through with the appointment. My therapist made it clear that regardless of whether or not I become a candidate for surgery, that I contact the center for help.
So I did it. For years, it has been easier for me to remain mired in hopelessness and futility.
If I want to live, and live well, I can't do that any more.
I hope I can find some friends here who can help support me. No one else in my life is in the same predicament, and my family doesn't quite understand the mental health issues that lie beneath my surface. While I know they support me, finding people in the same situation is important to me.
Thanks for reading. I hope I will be writing a long success story.
