sandtay36

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Today I decided to move forward with taking care of me. I have been stressed and upset about my life lately. I am working to take care of my mom and my own home it is very trying at times. I have found something that makes me happy which is to learn how to be positive. I learned to be grateful for each day. I have learned to not punish myself for eating something that makes me sick, it already punished me with dumping syndrome.  I feel more energy today by eating protein I only had 17 grams of carbs. 

Life sometimes takes several turns but it all depends upon you how those turns are.  Everything that has happened to me over the years are lessons learned.  Lessons of patience, forgiveness, love, and mercy.  I have had another surgery that I thought I would never have, they found a tumor on my left ovary that was causing me so much pain that I had to have immediate surgery.  The scar tissue from my GBS was wraped around my ovary and my fallopian tube and where the tumor was it was causing pressure on my kidneys and my spine.  The pain was unbearable.  The unfortunate thing is that being childless and married to my prince it is very hard for me to not cry at times because I always wanted children. I remember from the time I was 10 years old I always wanted 10 kids now I have none.  My 3 babies died before I could hold them due to miscarriages and I know it's sad sometimes I wish I could hold them or see myself in their little faces.  But my wonderful God has blessed me with my prince and he has 4 beautiful grown children that are precious to me they are all above the age or 18 and most are moved out.  Our oldest son has 4 baby girls ranging from the age of 1 to 15. I don't see them often however I love them as though they were my own grand kids and I claim them as mine also.  I am happy to know that my cancer that I had in 2006 did not come back in my ovaries and I am ok. Every thing that I face is a testimony to the strength of my God and his loving mercy.  I chose to be a victor and not a victum of my circumstances.  There are things that happen they may change our lifes direction however, if we look back at where we were to where we are some of us will say we would do it all over again because we are better than we were.  Stay strong my friends there are higher powers at work and we just need to hang on for the ride of our lives.  Keep living, keep breathing and keep loving.

Sandiepooh

I started yesterday working out and getting rid of the carb loading. I did 15 mins of work out yesterday morning and this morning I did 25 to 30 mins. I feel weak but I am going to get better. Today my goal is to drink more protein shakes for today and tomorrow. I am starting over from the beginning to get back on track. Sometimes you have to take 5 steps backward to take 1 step forward. I lost 130lbs in 8 months and now I am 2 years and 1 month out I have gained 25lbs. Now I am not going to beat myself up for the gain because i know it was my fault for letting carbs back into my life like I let my ex husband back into my life over a year ago but I got past that I can get past this. It's going to be difficult but anything worth having is worth working hard, waiting for, and sacrificing for. When I was a size 8 I was happy and healthy. When I bought a size 14 and 15 pants recently I said HECK NO!!!! AIN'T NO WAY I WENT THROUGH THIS SURGERY ALMOST DIED AND SUFFERED FOR 30 YEARS AND GAIN THIS WEIGHT BACK HECK NO, HECK NAW!!!! IT'S ON NOW!!! I am doing this for me bump everybody else they don't like it tough they aint gotta live in my body. They don't have to spend $60 a month on blood pressure meds. I refuse to go back to sleeping with an oxygen machine and cpap, I refuse to walk 2 steps and suffer with my breathing, I refuse to be unhealthy and unhappy. I was blessed with a beautiful family and a wonderful life I am not going to give up on me NO MORE EXCUSES.

Hi All, I have had my 2 year anniversary for my surgery and 1 year wedding anniversary go figure. I have gained some weight but I have the tool and I know I can lose it again. I read my blog that I wrote on 5/9/10 and it inspired me to take another look at myself and invest in myself and do more for myself. Lover your neighbor as yourself, Jesus said. How can you love your neighbor if you don't love yourself. How can you love your family and show them how much you care if you don't love and care for yourself. It's important to take care of yourself so you can be here for those you care about. I know time and unforseen occurances befall us all but we can only change and have control over what we have control over and that is ourselves. I love the fact that when you blog something you can go back re-read it get motivated and start all over. Today, I did better than yesterday but yesterday I did better than the day before. The bible says Do not be anxious over the next day for each day has it's own anxieties. If you start each day on purpose how can you have an anxiety for that day since you started that day and have control over that entire day. Your live is yours so live it. Don't let other's live it for you, if you do you will be miserable. You have control, take the wheel drive your own live. Keep your ownself in line, by following directions if you waver or start to veer to the left or to the right take control over your wheel and straighten up, don't you know you do that action in every aspect of your life at work, home in the car but you also have that same control over you. Don't worry about your mistakes, your imperfect you are suppose to make mistakes if we didn't make mistakes how can we learn and grow and become the wonderful creation that we are. You can do it. I believe you and you have to believe in you also in order for this to work. Remember Jesus said if you have faith the size of a mustard seed you can move mountains. But the thing is you have to believe in you. You have to believe that you can do it. You know the Schwartz (Spaceballs) or the Force (Star Wars) or Neo (Matrix) you are the Neo in your own world. This is your life grab it by the horns and live. It's your time, if you live for you everything else will fall in line. The law's of attraction, you ask and you shall receive. You can do it I know you can, I believe in you, all you need to do is believe in yourself and work in harmony what your belief and no matter what you are trying to accomplish it will make its way to you don't give up, just keep trying, keep doing, keep believing. The world is your oyster, you are the pearl that is generated the beautiful glow and valuable person you are everything and everything is you. You are your life so go live it.

Hi everyone, thank you for the encouragement. Today, I did ok, I ate more carbs than I wanted to but ate half of what I normally ate so I know I still did better than before. I exercised yesterday and exercising today when I get home from work. I am focusing better on when I eat and no longer drinking and eating at the same time. Tomorrow my goal is to drink 3 protein shakes and eat one protein meal. I will get 8 glasses of water in and I will exercise. I will lose 14lbs by June 24, 2010.

Today, I am as fired up as I was the day before, I have lost 3 lbs and yesterday the only thing I ate incorrectly was some garlic bread with my pulled pork bbq sandwhich. I moved my butt by cleaning my house and my kitchen I felt so good after I took a shower I thought I was on the beach with my hubby. Today I got up acheing from my clean up yesterday but I am doing it again today. I had my OH Yeah Cookies and cream my 2 cups of water and for lunch I am having my mocha latte protein frappacino woohoo. so a total of 51 grams of protein and for dinner I am having some korean soup called h*ll SOUP it is hot and goooood. Just the broth and some of the meat. Again I am tweaking my 5DPT for me because I know me and I know I need something to chew on so my dinner will have a little meat. I am going to do this for me. My hubby and I have a goal to reach we are planning to lose 14lbs by June so we can take some wedding pictures. I am so excited I am going to do it because I am getting into my dream wedding gown if it kills me the funny thing is when I tried it on I was 209lbs but now I am 192 and by the time I get back into my dream dress I will be back down to 180 or less and looking pretty hot I must say. OK, friends and family we can do this. Invest back into yourself and your rewards will be great. I will be back tomorrow to give you and update:

I CHOOSE TO BE:
I choose to be me
I choose to love me
I choose to take care of me and others
I choose to stay focused
I choose to stay motivated and motivate others
I choose to be the best me I can be
Everything good I choose for me, my friends and my family  

Hi Everyone, Here is what I learned, I went to a leadership seminar a learned a lot about myself. I didn't have this surgery for me, I had this surgery so that I can serve my God and others better. I lost my focus and lost sight of my goal to be healthy, happy, and content with my life. the 5 things that happens when a company or person starts to go bankrupt whether it be mentally, physically, emotionally and so on are as follows:
1. They become over confident
2. They start to over indulge or over do it
3. They deny that there is a problem
4. They start grasping for anything when they finally realize their in trouble
5. They go down for the count or give up and fail

To combat this problem, when you get to stage 4 you can turn around you just have to work your way back from the beginning hince the 5 DPT here is the solution to come back from bankruptcy:
1. Humble yourself: meaning state ok I am not perfect, I have a long way to go, I need help
2. Start cutting back: make list of things you want to do, need to do and things you need to stop doing; keep it in front of you all the time.
3. Each step you take is an accomplishment whether you ate well in the beginning of that day and at dinner you at some carb but guess what you did better today than yesterday so don't deny that you had that carb but realize you had more protein and did better than before.
4. Start: Meaning don't keep putting it off, so what you had a hamburger and some fries for lunch, so for dinner have steak, chicken, shrimp only with a veggie, exercise but don't feel sorry for yourself just START
5. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF: Always keep moving forward keep focus on your goal. Keep your before picture in front of yourself on your computer screen, on your cell phone, in your purse whereever you can see it to remind you, how you felt that size when you felt bad, sick, uncomfortable in your skin. Then take that picture the day you felt good in your skin, wearing that perfect outfit and felt sexy cute and oh so gooooood and keep that next to the before pic and realize you did it you can do it again so NEVER GIVE UP ON U.

If Delta and other companies can come out from being bankrupt by investing in their people, how much more so can you come out of this physical, emotional bankruptcy by investing back into yourself doing what you ought to be doing for yourself as you wanted to in the first place. You can do it; I am and will do it not only because there is a need to do it but because I want to do it and felt good when I stayed on plan. Sometimes it takes baby steps to accomplish a goal take each step and eventually you will walk tall like you did before. Here is my plan

Sunday and Monday - my goal is to take in my 2 protein shakes if I eat off plan I will make sure I eat in mid day and be happy I made my 2 goals instead of punishing myself for not sticking completely to my goal.
4am exercise 1 hour taebo
6 am protein drink 48 grams protein mixed with water
8am - 12 noon drink water
1pm 1 cup of egg drop soup
2:30 - 4:30pm drink water
5:30 pm protein drink 48 grams protein mixed with water
7pm to bedtime water

Goals Spiritual

1. Increase hours - Increasing my love for others have increased my service

2. Auxillary Pioneer in August - I Aux pioneered for 3 months

3. Prepare for all meetings - I prepare thoroughly

4. Read my bible daily - Still working on this goal

5. Study with my mom daily - Mom is studying well

6. Research more - Really getting better

7. Read all magazines once received - Working on this

8. Always refer to the scriptures - I do this all the time now really interesting

9. Be honest with all - This is my craving to be honest and caring all the time.

10. Do more in the ministry - I like to help and encourage others so this allows me to do more in the ministry.

 Personal Goals

1. Lose 66lbs by Jan 21, 2010 1 year surgiversary - I have lost over 130lbs by my 1 year anniversary

2. Be kind to myself - I am taking better care of myself

3. Do more for others - I am doing more for others and my family when I am needed

4. Clean my home - I am working on this very much so.

5. Walk more with mom - My mom has been ill and it has been cold so we are waiting for it to warm up

6. Exercise everyday for at least 30 mins - Was doing good but will do better

7. Keep my eyes and heart on Jehovah - Really so thankful to Jehovah

8. Keep my eye simple - I don't require much and I love the fact that I don't need much I am happier

9. Simplify my life - Really have narrowed down my wants and concentrating on my needs

10. Do not give up - Not giving up, I have come to far with the aid of my God to give up now.

 10 things I want to do in my life
1. Serve where the need is greater - I will sign up to do this before year end
2. Serve as a full time or Aux pioneer - I have Aux Pioneered and will again soon
3. Marry one day - I am married to the most beautiful spiritual man I can ever wish for. He is my prince my dream man.
4. Care for my mom better - We are caring for my mother and she is so happy.
5. Preach and teach more - I am working on this
6. Keep my head up - I am working on this
7. Keep myself chaste - Doing very well
8. Keep praying - Doing very well
9. Keep spiritually focused - Doing very Well
10. Don't Give Up - never give up, never surrender

Hey Everyone,
I am sorry I haven't written in a while. I got married to a wonderful man and have 4 beautiful kids and am so happy I can dance the jig. I gained 12lbs but I am back on my protein and am staying on this for the rest of my life. I started eating bad again due to stress and a new life but I am back on track starting today. I can't wait to get to my goal weight by May when I go to Las Vegas with my husband and son and his friend. I am so excited. I just wanted to let yall know how I am doing. Take care

Sandie Bear

I am so sad