Santore
My first blog entry
Sep 15, 2009
I have been working on getting Gastric Bypass for around two years now. Its been very hard journey and really lately its been at its very hardest point of those two years. I am going through a divorce which I "think" I am o.k. with.
With that said, losing three dogs, my wife, my house, my future plans, and everything I grew comfortable with has really made life a bit hard on me. I was pre-separation doing wonderful, I was keeping to my diet, and I lost quite a bit of weight. Now... After everything has changed...
I came out of the divorce I ended up smoking here and there again, drinking like a fish, etc etc. Things I hadn't touched for 6 years. The good point to all this was I lost 40 pounds! The problem, I couldn't go back to smoking and my tolerance of booze showed that I have history of abuse in my family. One shouldn't be able to drink a half a gallon of Rum in four hours after 6 years after not drinking. But I digress.
I quit drinking/smoking and I have been avoiding certain social situations that would put a smoke in one hand and a bottle in the other. Mostly, not fully because I just can't stay here alone and I know no one else to hang out with who doesn't do that stuff outside of my family.
So I am finding myself at home, alone, a lot and I don't like it. I am dying to eat now, and I am putting down the soda like mad. My meds are all screwed up for whatever reason. I am sleeping 12 to 17 hours a day. I wake up and end up back in bed in 6 hours. I don't know if that could be the depression, the meds, I don't know. I am getting nothing done in a day because I can't get no sleep! I go to bed at midnight I don't wake up to 6pm? I go to bed at 10pm, I wake up at 6pm? It makes no sense. I will be seeing my doctor on this.
So I decided to start this little blog entry, be bluntly honest in it, and see if it helps me along. I plan on trying to go to the park walking, I "Could" join the YMCA but I am too self conscious to take off my shirt and swim. Then I feel weird being that fat guy who leaves it on to swim. I don't want to get nude and change either in YMCA. I am modest what can I say? Fat guy like me, no one wants to see me naked lets be honest. I could swim though 4 or 5 hours a day. I "love" swimming.
Anyway I guess this blog will be a bit about my journey. My surgery is coming up soon soooooo gotta get fit, gotta get healthy (clockwork orange anyone?).
Plan: 2 Protein shakes (Which I detest) and a dinner at night. Dinner wise I am going to "eat smart(er)".
We shall see how it goes. Last weight in I had I weight 472 pounds. I will be returning to Grayson Ky sometime this week for update. That far as I know is only place I can weight in at I am so big :(
I figure I am back up to 485. No joke. I yo-yo that bad
Other Plan: Updating this at least every other day.
0 comments
With that said, losing three dogs, my wife, my house, my future plans, and everything I grew comfortable with has really made life a bit hard on me. I was pre-separation doing wonderful, I was keeping to my diet, and I lost quite a bit of weight. Now... After everything has changed...
I came out of the divorce I ended up smoking here and there again, drinking like a fish, etc etc. Things I hadn't touched for 6 years. The good point to all this was I lost 40 pounds! The problem, I couldn't go back to smoking and my tolerance of booze showed that I have history of abuse in my family. One shouldn't be able to drink a half a gallon of Rum in four hours after 6 years after not drinking. But I digress.
I quit drinking/smoking and I have been avoiding certain social situations that would put a smoke in one hand and a bottle in the other. Mostly, not fully because I just can't stay here alone and I know no one else to hang out with who doesn't do that stuff outside of my family.
So I am finding myself at home, alone, a lot and I don't like it. I am dying to eat now, and I am putting down the soda like mad. My meds are all screwed up for whatever reason. I am sleeping 12 to 17 hours a day. I wake up and end up back in bed in 6 hours. I don't know if that could be the depression, the meds, I don't know. I am getting nothing done in a day because I can't get no sleep! I go to bed at midnight I don't wake up to 6pm? I go to bed at 10pm, I wake up at 6pm? It makes no sense. I will be seeing my doctor on this.
So I decided to start this little blog entry, be bluntly honest in it, and see if it helps me along. I plan on trying to go to the park walking, I "Could" join the YMCA but I am too self conscious to take off my shirt and swim. Then I feel weird being that fat guy who leaves it on to swim. I don't want to get nude and change either in YMCA. I am modest what can I say? Fat guy like me, no one wants to see me naked lets be honest. I could swim though 4 or 5 hours a day. I "love" swimming.
Anyway I guess this blog will be a bit about my journey. My surgery is coming up soon soooooo gotta get fit, gotta get healthy (clockwork orange anyone?).
Plan: 2 Protein shakes (Which I detest) and a dinner at night. Dinner wise I am going to "eat smart(er)".
We shall see how it goes. Last weight in I had I weight 472 pounds. I will be returning to Grayson Ky sometime this week for update. That far as I know is only place I can weight in at I am so big :(
I figure I am back up to 485. No joke. I yo-yo that bad
Other Plan: Updating this at least every other day.
