ScottAD
I had intentionally kept this space blank at first. Telling my story is difficult because I don't share the nuances of my life and how I ended up in the place I am mentally, physicall, pychologically, etc.
Why I am filling it up now I am unsure of fully but I do know that I would like to allow people in a bit despite my desire for privacy. That desire extends from a multitude of things including how I grew up, how I have been given a good dose of reality and mortality.
I've been a large person all my life even though I was my mother's smallest child by birth weight. I was always "thicker" or "big-boned" compared to other kids. I grew up in Maryland and many peope in my family are large. I played baseball as a child and was certainly the most rotund of the bunch.
This continued into high school where I played football, wrestling and threw shotput for track and field. In each sport I was expected to be around a certain weight. 290-300 for football, I played defensive and offensive tackle.
Two weeks after football I would have to had dropped down to at least 275 which is the highest weight for the heavyweight class in wrestling. To do that I did many unhealthy things, eating less, running more. Working out in 8 layers of clothing with trash bags or sauna suits within them. It wasn't uncommon that the first two or three matches I would struggle with due to my body being wrecked or tired. After weighing in I would chow down on bread or pasta for the carbs to get a boost of energy. I would usually end the season at about 255-265.
Then there was track, I would bulk up to 285 throughout the season so I could throw shot more effectively. It worked too, I could throw at least 4-5 ft further.
After high school I went to college for a brief period of time before coming home. I was not working out as vigorously as I had in high school and so the weight just came on. I was around 340-345 when I left home and moved to Kansas for what would be my greatest mistake.
During my time in Kansas which I had moved there for a girl, I worked for a very large and well known wireless carrier. I would generally work 12-14 hours a day, stop by the gym, work out for an hour or so and come home. This was how I lived my life for about 2 years. I didn't get ay skinnier but I wasn't getting larger either.
Then I was laid off along with 650 other employees, a few weeks later the woman I had moved for also laid me off in a manner of speaking. I had no connections to that place short of my next door neighbor who I had become friends with, a wonderful older woman who I still think of today. In fact her and I share a tattoo of the same thing but in different places on our body.
Needless to say I became a very depressed individual, I found a job to make endsmeet until my lease was out on my apartment and then I moved backhome with family. After moving to North Carolina my legs began swelling up. I could not even get normal shoes on I wore sandals that were a size or two bigger than my foot. At first I ignored this thinking it was just something about the difference in sea-level as most of my life had been lived at sea-level not above it. After I had a wound on my left nakle that began leaking I realized it was not just swelling and attempted to get medicaid. Once approved I went to a physiciian and after multiple visit finally got approved for wound treatment and lymphedema therapy. To this day I still wear compression garments.
Once I got into the maintenance stage of my treatment I started looking for jobs. I posted on websites, looked up places and more. I just so happened to be contacted by a head hunter who was hired to find people to work for a local cellular company.I've been there ever since.
During all of this time my weight had steadily increased. The last time I even dared to look at a scale I weighed 550 or so. I've tried dieting many times, It's never worked. The longest diet I stuck out was the Atkins diet while in Kansas.
I believe I've reached that point where WLS will be the most effective tool in helpinh me maintain a healthy long life. My sister is doing this along with me. It's good to have someone who is supportive and experiencing the same things I am. I value my family more than anything in this world and if I can be healthier not only for me but for them I don't see any drawbacks for that.
I think I'm done for now. I think I've revealed a good bit I normally wouldn't and I am both glad and worried. Alas, the joie de vivre is more important than insecurities.
