SDmovergal
I am 5'11" tall, weight of 345 lbs. Have visited with surgeon in K.C., only does open RNY, am interested if anyone in the area does Lap RNY. Also, cannot get PCP off dead center to send letter recommending surgery. Say that they will, but still isn't done after 4 months.
09/29/00 My company is switching health care providers and I have resarched the new provider and they have a history of approving WLS. YEA!!! I'm going to wait a month and then get the ball rolling!
10/09/00 I couldn't wait, completed the paperwork for the surgery and sent it off. Now it's sit back and wait. As each day goes by I realize how little control I have over my body , my weight. I am out of control. I hate the looks that I see from people when they meet me for the first time. I used to delude myself into thinking that I "carried my weight" very well, I didn't look that bad, but I can't say that anymore. I know that my weight has hindered my professional life. I am ready for a change, I can't wait!
10/24/00 Received a call from Bonnie at Weight for Life and my new insurance UHC has denied me due to an exclusion in the policy. I understand after researching UHC these past couple of weeks that all new policies written (which ours was) no include an exclusion for the treatment of Morbid Obestiy. Even Walter Lindstrom has been unsuccessful fighting them. So, I am going to be a self-pay. I need my gallbladder removed, have been putting it off. So, I'm going to visit with the surgeon's office and see what can be worked out. The insurance will pay for the gallbladder, maybe it will be cheaper having both procedures done at one. Having WLS is important enough to me to withdraw money from my 401K to pay for this. I know that if I don't have this surgery, I won't be around to enjoy retirement. I believe that the window of opportunity is closing on this surgery. Insurance companies are closing the loopholes as fast as they can to keep from paying for this procedure, which is a sad state of affairs.
11/15/00 I am changing insurance company again to a WLS friendly carrier. My employer is allowing me to do this, and I am picking up the difference in the rates. It will end up costing me $3000.00 , which is cheaper than going self-pay. My new insurance will be effective 12/01, I have an appointment on the same date with my PCP and will get my referral letter for the Surgeon at that time and get the ball rolling one last time. Hope to have surgery sometime before Christmas.
12/11/00 Received my new group # today from Aetna, faxed it to my PCP for a referral to Dr. Yates office, and then faxed to the folks at Weight-For-Life so that they can resubmit to Aetna. Not we wait--and pray. It's all waiting and patience, there is no reason for them not to approve, it's just when. I'm on pins and needles and will be until I get the call with the approval and my date for surgery. It can't happen soon enough!!
1/1/01 Happy New Year! Was hoping to begin the new year with a letter of approval from Aetna, but it's not to be. I checked with the insurance company and it seems that everyone is one leave until after the new year. I'm spending my time learning all that I can and preparing myself mentally for what lies ahead.
1/19/01 - Spoke to pre determination dept. at Aetna and my paperwork is in line for review. I've been waiting for over a year to schedule this surgery and if things don't start moving soon, I'll have to wait until next Fall. My work schedule won't allow me to take off after the first of May, I must be fully recovered by then. Just received an email from Bonnie at WFL saying that Aetna is reviewing my file and promised an answer in 3-4 business days. Please -- help me have patience!
02/12/01 I've been approved!! Surgery is scheduled for 02/19/01. I'm running all around KC trying to get my presurgery appointments scheduled. Just a word of advise to anyone having surgery out of town from where they live, make an extra trip to the place where you're having surgery to do your pre-surgery appointments. They are able to schedule them with "WLS friendly" doctors/hospitals. I've run into lots of opposition getting these appointments and getting the clearances that are necessary, i.e., pulmonary, ekg, psychological, etc. I have my last visit with Dr. Yates, my surgeon, on the 17th in St.Louis.
02/23/01 I'm home after surgery, had it on the 19th, open RNY. He did not have to remove my gallbladder, only had a couple of small stones, doesn't think that they will cause me any problems. Surgery was a textbook case according to Dr. Yates. Every day my energy level comes up and my pain goes down. What has suprised me is the gas pain. My, it is painful. I left the hospital last night about 8:00pm for a 4 hours drive back to KC without pain meds or pepcid. Had to wait until this am when the pharmacy opened to get my meds filled. Needless to say, I didn't rest too well last night. Hope to have a good night's sleep this pm. Everything tastes too sweet - even the sugar-free stuff. Seems my taste buds have changed, and I can't get warm. So, my metamorphosis has started.
02/28/01 Well, I've had a small set-back. I developed breathing problems on Saturday and ended up in the Emergency Room. My potassium level had fallen and my oxygen level was also very low. After many xrays and tests, they admitted me , ran some more tests, ruled out blood clots, pneumonia. They just decided that my lungs had not fully recovered from the surgery and need more time. They put me on oxygen, 3 liters, and started pumping Potassium in me, and breathing treatments every four hours. I was discharged on the evening of the 27th and I've been home 24 hours. Was sent home with Home Health Care, oxygen and nebulizer. We'll see how things develop. My incision is feeling fine, no problems there, just can't seem to get my oxygen level up, any exertion, including talking wipes me out and results in a coughing jag. Actully got ill today while giving my self a breathing treatment, not fun!!
04/11/01 Well, I'm 7 weeks post-op and I'm down 41 lbs. That's not as much as I had hoped for, but ever pound counts!! After 4 weeks, I found that I could eat just about anything (haven't tried anything with sugar!) I guess that I'm one of the unlucky ones, because I feel that I'm eating too much and I don't feel full many times. I still feel hunger pains, don't get me wrong, they're nowhere near as strong as I used to feel!! The last week or so I've been concentrating more on exercising (walking) and trying to pay attention to my pouch when I eat. I'm trying to stop when my stomach starts to feel full. However, emotionally, I'm a wreck!! My husband and I are having problems. He's an alcoholic and promises and promises to quit and can't. We've gone through treatment and AA, etc and nothing seems to work for him. I used to eat for comfort and now I don't have that anymore. Last night when I got home from work, he was not there (He was in a bar somewhere). Usually, I would head to Red Lobster or the largest buffet I could find and stuff myself trying to make myself feel better. I knew that I was and emotional eater, but didn't understand the depths of my dependance on food until that moment. I think that I'll start journaling, I meant to from the first and kept postponing. I need someway to vent my feelings and that's the only thing I can think of.
04/23/01 I'm 9 weeks post-op and I'm down to 55 lbs, just 4 more pounds to go and I'll be under 300, something I haven't seen in about 5 years! The last week or so I have been experiencing bouts of nausea. They seem to come over me at strange times, not after eating. Early in the am, mid morning and afternoon. Mostly I just dry heave, and if anything comes up it's just bile. Not fun. The surgeon's office wants me to come in for an visit in a couple of weeks ( I wasn't due for a visit until July).
05/04/01 I'm below 300 llbs!! Total weight loss of 60 lbs, one goal met. Hope to be below 250 lbs. at 6 months. I got over the nausea finally and it hasn't happened again. I'm visiting with Dr. Yates on Sunday, he's going to be in KC for a seminar. That will save me a trip to St. Louis. I'm still taking the pepcid and most afternoons I feel discomfort in my intestinal/stomach area. I went shopping last Saturday for a few pairs of shorts to get me through the summer and a few tops. I bought 22/24 shorts and 26/28 tops. This was at Fashion Bug (I think their tops run a bit small). I figure I should be able to wear this for most of the summer, even if they are big at the end of the summer.
06/01/01 Well as of today, I weight 279, for a total weight loss of 79lbs. I am working out at a gym, one day a week. I would like to go more often, but I'm working 12-14 hour/day and can't fit any more time in. I've rid my closet of 4X and 3X and am mostly in 2X clothing now. I go for my 6 month surgeon visit in July and hope to be down 100 lbs, I should make it if I don't hit any nasty plateaus!! I find it difficult to make the right food choices sometimes. I'm eating too much fast food, it's quick and easy at work. My evening choices are better. However, last night I blew it. Fixed my husband's supper and I just had to have some friend potatoes. Just a bite, what a mistake. I got immediately sick and I'll never do that again, too greasy!! My pouch is working for me, I fill up after only a few bites. I know that I was eating more at 2-4 weeks post op than I am now, strange how that works!! I find it very difficult to get all of my water in, but drinking iced tea helps. I'm starting to see my body as a different shape now in the mirror and thinking about a tummy tuck. I definitely want to have one! I've always had an apron, even at 16 when I lost down to 154 lbs, so I know that it won't go away by itself no matter how much I exercise. I find myself throwing away my Lane Bryant catalogs when they arrive as well as the sales ads from Catherine's. How I could spend money there not too long ago! I love to shop for clothes , I'm restraining myself to purchasing minimal clothes (mostly from Kmart and Walmart) until I'm to goal.
06/19/01 Today, I am 4 months post-op and I'm down 90 lbs. Yipee!! I'm wear a 2X and those are getting loose. Yesterday, I left work early because of a bad cold. I stopped at the grocery store for my Dayquil and they had a big sign advertising bacon on sale. I thought, boy, a BLT sure sounds good. So I purchased what I would need to make a BLT, fixed it , and ....you know what happend next. Two bites down and up it came!! When will I get it through my head that I cannot eat like I used to? I'm a reasonably intelligent person (at least that's what I've been told) and yet I can't seem to learn this simple lesson. My hair loss has started big time. It's all over my clothes and bathroom floor!! I've got quite a thick head of hair, so it's not bothering me too much so far. I try to get my 60 grams of protein in each day and I am a total failure with my water!! I can see the results on my skin, especially my face. I've developed wrinkles because my face isn't puffed out with fat now! I actually resemble my mother now, where I thought before that I must have been left on the door step. (My mom is 5'4", 120 lbs wet). I started 5'11" and 358 lbs. 07/12/01 I just received a phone call from my family doctor's office with my blood test restults. My blood surgar is 102, and my cholesterol was excellent! I was afraid I was anemic or my potassium levels were low, but they're just fine!! Yea for me. Not quite 5 months and I'm down 103 lbs. My hair is really falling out, makes me sad see my once thick head of hair thin out. Oh well, it'll grow back! I just heard a couple of days ago that my surgeon, Dr. Wm. Yates from St. Louis was closing his practice, retiring from the medical field for a while. Can we say burn-out? I can certainly sympathize with him, he was working 6-7 days/week performing 10-12 bypass's per week. I will miss him. I was lucky enough to get in with Dr. Fabito , and have my first visit with him in mid-August. I really wanted Dr. Yates to do my tummy tuck, but will have to look elsewhere. My personal goal for weight loss is 180 lbs. That would put me down to my high school weight, let me see, about 30 years ago.
08/13/01 Almost 6 months post op and I'm down to 239 this am. That's a 118 lb. loss Yipee!! I had to go clothes shopping this weekend and purchased 1X in tops & bottoms. This Friday, the 17th I have an appointment with Dr. Fabito in St. Louis. He's taken over a lot of Dr. Yates patients for follow-up visits. Hope I like him, I'm going to discuss a tummy tuck with him. Almost wish I had done this when my RNY was done, Dr. Yates offered. I was chicken. We may be changing insurance companies for first of November so I may have to have my tummy tuck by then. I was stuck on a plateau for about 2 weeks during the past month, but I stuck it out and I've started losing aging! It's been too hot to walk, even in the evenings it's in the 90's and my job is very demanding, I work 12-14 hours/day. Just haven't had the energy. My husband calls me "skinny" even though I know that I'm far from that. I visited with my family in the last month who hadn't seen me since about a month after surgery and they were amazed at the change in my appearance. I'm still experiencing some difficulty eating, I try to eat too fast and sometimes don't chew enough. Today at lunch I went to a salad bar and got a small salad to bring back to my desk to eat. My first bite was of fresh pineapple, my second bite was an green olive. Those two do not go together and my stomach let me know!! I would go through everything I've experienced over the last 6 months again in a moment to experiene this kind of permanent weight loss and I tell anyone who wants to listen how it's changed my life!
08/20/01 Had my first visit with Dr. Fabito in St. Louis. He has taken over many of Dr. Yates patients. I think that he and I will get along just fine. His procedures are a little different than Dr. Yates and he said that if I wanted to follow up with him, I had to follow his rules!! YES SIR!! Gave me a B-12 shot and recommends them monthly. My lab results were not in my file and neither had Dr. Yates sent my surgery records to him. We talked about a tummy tuck and he stated that he wanted to wait at least a year. However, I will be with another insurance company either December 1 or January 1. I know that they will not approve a tummy tuck, I've already checked them out! So, he reluctantly agreed to do the procedure late October/ early November. This week my hubby and I are digging out the old Polaroid to take some pics of my apron and backside. Aetna has clear cut criteria for approval of tummy tucks and I meet both of them, so I don't anticipate a problem. I'm not looking forward to another surgical procedure this soon, but don't want to go around with this apron for the rest of my life if I don't have to. My weight loss as slowed down, I'm down to 236 lbs., stepping up the exercising and trying to watch the carbs. Dr. Fabito thought I needed to slow down my weight loss, but I feel fine and as of a month ago my blood work all looked good. What a gift this surgery has been!
08/30/01 As of this morning, my weight is 231 lbs. The scale is once again moving! I had an interesting experience this past weekend. I decided to go to the mall and see if I could scrounge some bargains at the end-of-season sales to carry me through the rest of summer. I'm swimming in all of my clothes and because of my job I need to look presentable. I've been wearing 1X but decided to try on some clothes in the regular women's department. I started scanning the sales racks of the 75% off clothing and I kept looking over my shoulder, wondering if anyone was staring at me, a "fat woman" trying to buy off of the regular women's wear clothing rack. Nobody gave me a second glance, and the clothes fit!! Even though I've lost this weight, I still feel like a fat person, we really are so hard on ourselves. 09/21/01 Doesn't seem like it, but it's been 3 weeks since I updated. I've lost 10 lbs. , I'm down to 221. My goal is to be under 200 by October 15th, don't know if I can do it or not. Weight loss has slowed down and I've found myself snacking inbetween means. It's very hard, I seem to constantly want to put something in my mouth while I'm at work. Our work slows down considerably after Labor Day and I have a lot more spare time on my hand, and boredom leads to eating for me! I still find myself throwing up , chicken does it every time!! My husband put his arms around me the other day and they actually reached all the way around me with room to spare!! Wow, what a feeling!! I took a friend to lunch a couple of days ago and saw some people who hadn't seen me since my surgery and a couple of them didn't recognize me. I got my first WOW!! I clothes shopped last weekend for fall/winter and bought size 16 slacks and Size 18 top. It's amazing the selection in the Misses department. They actually have several different departments to choose clothing from. Instead of just shopping in "Women's World", we can shop in Misses, Sportwear, Deisgnerwear, Careerwear.
10/09/01 I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon yesterday, Dr. Gary Baker in Kansas City, Kansas. We discussed adominoplasty and he took his pics for submission to Aetna. I believe I will have no trouble meeting their criteria. Dr. Baker comes very highly recommended and I think we'll work well together. I want the surgery late November if possible. My insurance changes to a less WLS friendly one in January, so this must be done prior to that. Wish me luck! My weight loss has started to pick up again, lost 3 lbs last week. I'm working out 3-4 times a week at a gym and walking a track at the high school. Lots of bruises on my legs and arms now! On the personal front, I'm probably going to be filing from divorce from my husband of 23 years. He has been battling alcoholism for the past 5 years and I've reached a point where I just can't deal with it anymore. He refuses to get help, been there done that (in his words). He makes promises he is incapable of keeping and I've asked for no more promises. It is a very difficult decision to make and I'm trying to examine this from all angles before filing the paperwork. 10//22/01 I'm approved for my tummy tuck!! Surgery is scheduled for 11/13. Only 3 weeks and I go under the knife one last time. My weightloss is stalled again, still working out 3 times/week. Doing too much grazing. I'd really like to be below 200 when I have the tummy tuck, but dont' think it's going to happen. This past weekend I attended a seminar/convention. Got to dress up for a dinner/dance. Sure received a lot of compliments, and by golly, I think I looked pretty good!!
11/05/01 Weight loss sure has slowed down, but I've dropped 5 lbs. in the last two weeks!! Yea. I wanted to be down to 200 lbs. when I have my tummy tuck on the 13th, but that's not going to happen. I'll have to be satisfied with 210. About once a week I eat too fast or eat something that disagrees with me and comes back up. I really seem to have my biggest problem with chicken. Baked or fried, it doesn't matter, back up it comes, and I love chicken so I keep trying!! Still going to the gym 3-4 times a week and really enjoy the work-out. This Saturday I'm driving 3-1/2 hours to pick up my mom to help out while I'm down for my tummy tuck. I'll enjoy the visit with her and she's such a great help.
11/28/01 I'm back to work after my tummy tuck!! I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon to have the staples removed and maybe the drain lines. My right side is still draining some so he'll probably keep it in for a bit longer. He told my husband that he removed 12-1/2" lbs. of skin from my abdomen. I am down to 201 lbs, still quite swollen around the abdomen. I'll be wearing the binder for another 2 months to give me added support. Sure hurts to cough or sneeze and I think I'm coming down with a cold! I spent only one night in the recovery area at the surgery center , so I spent less than 24 hours in the hospital/surgery center. Definitely needed my mom and husband's help at home. Still can't take a shower by myself because of the drains. Pain was less than WLS and I definitely bounced back quicker. I'm going to ask the surgeon the submit a request for a breast lift, it won't hurt to try. The girls have definitely gone south!!
01/16/02m I am on a plateau from hell, mostly of my own making. I have taken to grazing. Have fallen in love with popdorn, 3D Nacho Dorits and Carmel Rice Cakes. I know what my problem is, but I seem to want to eat constantly. I have decided to see a therapist about my food obsession and see if she can help me with coping with the changes I've been going through. I visit with her on the 30th of January. Haven't been to the gym regularly either. I am still eating small meals, just eating more often, small amounts, and the wrong things. It is so hard! I know that I have been given a wonderful gift with WLS, have lost 159 lbs. I would still like to lose another 25 lbs. Frankly, I'm wearing 14/16 and if I don't lose another lb., that's alright. My weight loss has far exceed my wildest dreams, but I want to be at goal. I don't want to be satisifed with less than 100% weight loss. My husband and I were at a antique mall last Saturday and I came up behind him, and he did a double take. He told me that he did a double take, because he didn't recognize me at first. He says that I take him by suprise sometimes!! Nice compliment from someone you've known for 24 years!
Down to 195 lbs this am. Maybe this plateau is finally broken!! I want to get down to 180 lbs, only 15 more lbs. to go.
03/8/02 We'll it's six weeks later, the scale is moving slowly but surely. I've stopped drinking diet Dr. Pepper and am watching the carbs . I have started taking a step aerobics class twice/week and an aquasize class on Saturday am (this week is my first class). I'd like to lose another 20 lbs., God wiling I will. On a personal note, my life is a mess. My husband has started drinking again and I've decided that I can't stand around and watch him ruin both of our lives. Yesterday I filed for divorce. My husband is totally blaming me, which is typical for him.
06/21/02 Still struggling with the last 15-20 lbs. I seem to keep gaining and losing the same 5-10 lbs. I know that it is largely due to the stress that I'm going through right now. My husband was served with divorce papers last Monday. He is still in the angry stage and I've got to stay away from him for my mental health. He totally blames and whatever happens to him is my fault! I am moving in with a close friend and will be sharing her home until I can get back on my feet. Thank God there are no children involved, just 24 years of marriage history!! I've got to get some "after" pics taken and send in soon.
08/06/02 The divorce will be final on the 15th of August. It has been an emotional roller coaster for me and my soon-to-be ex-spouse. Ended up moving him, paying his first month's rent, hooking up his utilities for him, etc. just to get him out of our place when the lease ended at the end of July. He is an emotional cripple!! I had stopped seeing my theraapist during the busy season and I returned for my first appointment in 2-1/2 months yesterday. We had lots to talk about, needless to say. I don't know where I would be, my visits with her and the insights she has led me to see have been life-changing. Sometimes, you can't see what is right in front of you until you start talking to someone, and then it becomes obvious. I was in such a one-sided relationship, and had been for so long. It took lot's of new-found courage to do something positive for myself. I was an enabler to my husband, who is an alcoholic. I was unwilling/unable to draw the line with him, to make him suffer the consequences of his drinking. He never would hit bottom, because I wanted to make everything alright. Anyway, I'm still struggling with the same 15-20 lbs., but haven't gained any. I will take off these last few pounds. I'm trying to make friends, re-contact people that I have not seen for a long time , try to re-establish relationships. It is difficult, and I still feel like "fat Barbara".
09/05/02 I've begun another phase in my life. My divorce is complete, I have taken my maiden name of Buckley back, after 24 years of marriage. We had no children, and I felt that I needed a fresh start. I'm in the process of buying my first home, with the help of my parents. It's a small bungalow style 4 br/1 bath home. Finally, I will have a place to call my own, a place for my two doxies to run, a place to decorate as I see fit. I have nothing to report on the relationship area. My therapist wants me to seek out new female friends, to rejoin my previous activies at a church and try to be more "social". I see her every three weeks, and by my next visit, I have to have gone to church, and totally cut off any contact with my ex. I can do the first, but not the 2nd. I was staying temporarily with a friend until I could get my own place; and last Friday she asked me to leave. So, I was homeless over the weekend. Luckily I had planned to visit with my family over Labor Day Weekend, so I only was out for one night without a bed. My ex told me that I was welcome to stay in his extra bedroom; and since I've paid his rent and expenses so far, I'm staying there. I close on my house on the 26th and I'm out of there then. I know that it's hard on both of us, living so close once again. Enough about that, I have spoken to several women about having weight-loss surgery. One was a 2nd cousin who has been overweight all of her life. I've recommended that they visit this website. This website has been a life-line of information and encouragement to me through this journey.
11/08/02 Still hovering around 190 lbs. Sure would like to drop another 15 lbs. I'm totally moved into my little house, lots of fix-up projects on my list!! I've designated one of my bedrooms as an exercise room. Now, all I've got to do is get the boxes moved around so I can get to my bike and treadmill. That's a project that I hope to accomplish this weekend. Then, it's 15-30 minutes a day on the machines. I can do it, and I can take off this last 15 lbs! I've met someone and am beginning a long-distance relationship. We met several years ago while I was still married, renewed our friendship 6 months ago, while in divorce stage and then I saw him last weekend when I traveled to D.C. It is interesting having someone call, be concerned about you, interested in what you are doing, etc. The past 6 months have been very stressful and I'm really not looking for a relationship, and this one might not work out, but I cannot turn my back on what feels right. My therapist says I need to seek out "normal" people and that is what I am trying to do, but it is very difficult. My dating experience is very limited, I dated none in high school, very little in college, met my husband and married him. We were together 25 years, married 24-1/2 years. I feel that I am not meant to be alone, that I am the kind of person who needs to nurture and be nurtured. My eating capacity has increased, I have to work hard to eat protein first. I am definitely doing too much snacking on popcorn and doritos. I've recently started eating protein bars again and find that this helps satisfy my cravings somewhat. I'm in 14/16 clothes or size large. Life is great!! 11/22/02 The phone calls are piling up. Thank God for nights and weekends free on cell phones. The man I'm seeing is a field engineer, and travels 75% of the time. Don't know when we'll be able to see each other face to face again, but we're definitely burning up the phone lines. I haven't had time to snack or graze, between talking on the phone and my projects around the house, I've lost another 5 lbs. I was not taking my vitamins as I should or my prozac. It's so easy after losing most of your weight to get out of the habit of daily vitamins. Sometimes I just didn't care, especially while going through th big "D". I know that I've got to take care of myself and that includes taking my vitamins and supplements, eating protein first. Ron, that's the guy I'm seeing, has made me see that I am important and I deserve to be happy and healthy. I've had such great guilt over the divorce that it's been hard to see myself in a positive light. Thanksgiving is fast approaching, this will be my first holiday post-divorce. I'm going to spend it with my Mom and Dad, coming back to my home on Friday. I can make it work, I deserve happiness! 01/30/03 A lot has happened in the past two months. I am still seeing Ron, the field engineer. Today I leave for a business trip to Italy. I am meeting Ron at the airport in Chicago, where I have a 4 hour layover. I have had a date with a man who lives in the same town as I live in. I have lost another 5 lbs. Another 10 lbs. and I am there, at my presonal goal I feel well, taking vitamins,trying to get plenty of protein. It is a daily challenge. I have my two year check up with pcp on Tuesday next week. Will have bloodwork done and see how I am doing. Would like to get rest of tummy tuck done. I will when I lose this last 10 lbs. Life is enjoyable, I feel attractive. Thanks to my surgery I look forward to each day!!
3/1/03I am still hovering around 180 lbs. I will get this last 10 lbs. off!! I am still seeing Ron and have started dating some other men also. Dating is strange. I did so little when I was younger, almost feel like I am re-living my youth. Men think I am beautiful , and I enjoy hearing that. It is empowering. My manner of dress has changed, my attitude has changed. I am a new person!! I am having laser eye surgery in two weekss, a gift I am giving to myself because I deserve it. Always wanted to be glass free, and soon I will be. After I have the surgery done, I will update my pic. Looking forward to summertime, shorts, bathing suits, etc. Life is good!!
04/21/03 I had the eye surgery and love being free of glasses. A small complication with one eye, but everything is great. I have stopped seeing Ron, saw that relationship was going nowhere, no commitment on his part; which I wanted. No weight loss to report, but no gains. Still want to lose this last 15 lbs.
05/13/03 Well another month and I'm still hovering around 180 lbs. I lose 5 and gain 5. Maybe this is where my body has found it's comfort zone. I really wanted to get down another dress size, but if I don't that's alright. Life is full of choices and I am trying to learn to make good choices in my eating habits and my personal habits. it is difficult, but I am growing emotionally stronger each day. I am working in my yard daily, enjoy wearing summer shorts/tops. I feel attractive and full of energy. Hopefully, I will be beginning a new chapter of my life soon.
07/09/03 Well, it's been a while since I updated. I am not proud of myself, I have put on approx. 25 lbs. I joined Curves two weeks ago, trying to get back into the routine of exercising. I am going through some crap with my ex and I am stress eating big time. Snacking on Cheetos, Lord why were they invented? I can eat and eat them, and never get full it seems. Anyway, I feel better since exercising, hope this helps me to refocus on my body and take my mind off of my problems.
07/30/03 I am still carrying around that extra 25 lbs. I hurt my back 2 weeks ago and had to stay away from Curves. I hope to resume that next week. A month ago I started seeing someone who lives in the same town I do. He is 54 years old, divorced. He is dieting also, and even considered having the surgery done. He has lost 40 lbs. on Atkins. I'm trying to be a good dieting buddy for him. He is a wonderful man, and I love spending time with him. He is kind, considerate, thoughtful, and so loving. He is the kind of man I always wanted to spend my life with. We'll see where the road takes us, we are both wanting something long term. You never know where life will take you, do you?
11/19/04 It is almost Christmas time again, I am sorry for taking so long to update, my life has been very full and busy. I have been busy with my professional and personal life. I have finally accepted that i am a desirable woman, and that there is a large world out there, waiting to be explored. I have also discovered that i can overeat, and have. I am currently at 217 lbs. and am working on losing this weight.I actually peaked at 230 and put myself back on a diet and have lost 13 lbs. so far. I find it much too easy to snack and my capacity for food has increased considerably. I am happy, truly happy. I am single, still; but engaged to be married. I have kissed a lot of frogs, but found my prince.
