S. Carroll
Highest Pre Op Weight 307 =BMI 49.6
Currently 165 =BMI 25.8
Just to let you know-I am 34 (almost 35 yuk) 5'6" and started this journey at 282 pounds. I wish more people would put their ages and height.
After reading a lot of comments about people losing their journal...I will keep mine in Word and paste from there. That way, I will always have it. (and hey..bonus spell checker..My spelllllling is bad. :-)
06/09/03 Oh my..I just found out that the doctor that was going to perform my surgery died last Thursday. Supposedly, his assistant is going to take over. Dr. Molina was in his 70’s. I think his assistant did more than just assist. So, I am comfortable with him doing the surgery. His family is in my thoughts and prayers.
06/11/03 Well tonight I spoke with my insurance company and after them telling me they didn’t have my paperwork. They found it and we talked…the procedure is covered and approved..Just have to get a few more documents to them and all will be done!! YEA! The insurance process has been frustrating but compared to some stories that I have read; it was not bad at all. The worst part is the waiting. Some goof ball at the insurance company told me no it wouldn’t be covered due to the preexisting clause, but then I spoke with the claims person herself..She said she is the one that pays the bills and it would be covered at 80%. I am sooooo happy happy happy happy!!! Then she told me that Dr. Molina would have been covered at 60% but the new doctor is covered at 80%!
07/10/03 Well I went to the doctor today to get my letter of medical necessity. I am up two more pounds...sheesh I am just getting bigger and bigger.
07/15/03 Everything I said about my insurance company before...wrong..They suck just like all of the other ones do. Now they want 3 to 5 years of chart notes from my primary doctor. Which is not such a big deal other than I have to pay for them (insurance said they will reimburse me-yea whatever. This insurance is through my husband's work and there was another lady who had this surgery done and the insurance paid for it and she didn’t have to do all of this. Grrrrrrrrr
08/08/03 Ok...well it is done...I am approved. I met with another surgeon and I am now going to have a Lap RNY. I am ok with it other than I am having a lot of issues with being put to sleep and what if the staples leak. My surgeon is going to be Robert Marvin in Houston. He is also a trauma surgeon. My date is 8/25/03. Everytime I think about it, my stomach gets upset. I know this is the right thing. I know I need this. I know that I am ready for this. I am just scared. I can't wait to be thin. I can't wait to be able to breath better..I am just scared. Not to mention my fear of needles. I have my next consult with my dr on the 20th. I also have my nutrition consult the same day and I get to go to the hospital and have my blood work and pre register. I had "the talk" with my daughter the other night...you know the one about how much I love her and how much I know she loves me...and if something happens..always know that I am proud of her and love her with all my heart. We cried and cried...then next day of course I looked like a train ran over my face it was so puffy..but that's ok..I needed to have this talk with her. I asked her today if she was worried any..she said nope, you're gonna be fine. For about 3 minutes today I had this wave of comfort wash over me. I felt "ok...I am really going to be ok!" then it was gone and I was back to being worried. Sometimes I just feel like I am losing it. The night that my insurance company called me and told me that I was approved..I cried and had nightmares all night..cried all the next day. I think at the time I got that call, it all became a reality and I wasnt ready for it. Don't know that I am now either but the clock is ticking..17 days..and that is it..
08/23/03 Oh what a difference a day makes. I went for my pre op appointment with my doctor. My husband went with me. Dr. Marvin walked in and once again, I was his only patient and he said "let me take you from beginning to end” and he started with Sunday (the day before) to the day I go home. He put me at ease and since then, I have been A-OK. I know it sounds unreal but it is true. Then I went to the hospital to pre register and I had to do lab work of course.
I am a hard stick and they usually have to use a butterfly IV to take blood. I told the tech that and how much I hate needles, just the thought of them makes me hyperventilate, and she said she understood, she hates them too. I thought "Great" either she will understand and she will be very good at it, or she hates them so much she does not care anymore. She was the first. She listened, she found the vein before poking and poking and poking. She got it on one try. I really think that helped me be ok with it all too. I have seen people that do not care how much pain they cause you because you are only going to be in their life for 10 minutes at the most. So far, no one at the doctor’s office or the hospital has ever ever made me feel like that. They are treating me like royalty. Of course they are still in the early stages and I could walk out any time right now...come next Tuesday they will have me and I wont be able to walk out. So we will see then how they treat me.
I am going to take my lap top with me, I don’t know if I will be able to connect from there but I will try.
I am so excited. Like the excited you get when you are going to a concert or event that you have been looking forward to.
Lets see if I am still so "excited" after I get into my room on Monday night and the drugs begin to wear off.
I woke up last Tuesday with a sore throat and freaked. Called the doctor thinking they are not going to let me have my surgery...after all this work and time and and and and I am not going to ever get it, this is a sign..blah blah blah..
Doc’s office said, as long as I was not running fever I would still have my surgery. Yea!!! Then my head was congested and I was afraid it would move to my chest. If it does, they will not do the surgery until it is cleared up. So far so good. I will be pissed off if I drive all the way to Houston on the morning of after family has come in to help take care of kids and my husband has taken the week off and all of the other thousand arrangements that I have made for them to tell me no...come back in 7 days...which to me might as well be forever.
I have been taking vitamin C like it is going out of style. 12 times the daily recommended amount.
I haven’t gotten all my stuff ready yet but I will do that this weekend. I still have to buy my post surgery food and a robe to wear while in the hospital. I hate to buy a robe that will not fit in a month or two but oh well.
I met with the nutritionist. She gave me a great idea on how to get enough protein. Designer whey and the flavor is "natural” then you add a tablespoon or so to mashed potatoes or grits or cream of wheat or oatmeal. one tablespoon is something like 25 grams of protein so that will be a great help. They told me that most patients loose the "dumping" syndrome after 18 months to 2 years. That was good news. I know everyone is different but there is hope for a bite of birthday cake or cheesecake in the future. yea!
Well I guess I will go for now. I will try to post again a little closer to Monday.
09/02/03 Well I made it through. Yesterday was a week. I am so freaking hungry! I offered to sell my children for a cheeseburger. I don’t know what I would do with it but oh how I want one. I never realized how many food commercials are on TV. Sheesh. I am surrounded by it. I finally cooked dinner last night for my family. I had my clear soup. Sigh…7 more days…then I can eat too…
My surgery-well…
I arrived at the hospital and they needed more blood. So I cried and they took 5 vials of blood. (I have huge issues with needles). They came to get me and took me to holding. My family was not allowed to go with me. Not even my husband. I was already crying and would have been calmer if he could have come. But no. I was in holding alone…nurses scurrying around me. An anesthesia assistant (Nikki) put in my IV. She did good. She put in a second (backup) IV after I was asleep. I really don’t remember much after telling her I wanted the happy drugs…she went and got them and the only other thing I remember was someone put something over my mouth and nose and told me it was oxygen and just to breath. So, I breathed. The next thing I remember was waking up not being able to breath and I felt like I was drowning. I called for Nikki to help me but I couldn’t find her and I just kept gasping. I guess at some point I feel back asleep because next I woke up in my room surrounded by my family. I hurt. I couldn’t take a deep breath without pain. I had a wonderful nurse named Robin and she really helped me get through the night by explaining things to me and getting me pain medication quickly. She put it in my IV very slow to keep it from burning. She was so wonderful. Then the most evil nurse from hell came on duty at 7am. She would hold out pain mediation and ask me “what are you going to do when you get home and have nausea?” when I asked for phenergan. She accused us of smoking in the room and made my normal blood pressure of 110/70 rise to 183/136. She was evil. I was trying so hard to be nice from the getgo. She was older than me so my manners kicked in with yes ma’am and no ma’am. When she would finally get my pain medication she would shove it in the IV and oh fu*k it would hurt. It got to the point I stopped asking for it because it hurt more than my stomach. I couldn’t get anyone to help me. Including my family. They didn’t understand what was going on and would be out of the room when she was the most evil. They would come back in and not understand why I was so unraveled. Which just pissed me off even more. Oh, I was losing it. I finally called the nursing administration, I told them to keep her out of my room, and I didn’t even want to see her again. Time passed and she came back in much later. I thought ok…she has changed her tune..and she was fine for a little while and then turned into satin again…I called nursing admin again and they put her on a completely different pod the next day. However I did see her before I left. I wanted to hit her with my shoe. Trudy was my night nurse and she was awesome. She got me on the road to recovery. I woke my husband up at 2:30 am standing over him smiling. He thought it was the nurse telling him that I was being taken back to surgery. By the time I woke him up, I had walked and talked to Trudy for a bit, cleaned the room up and just got bored. There were two nurses that I really want to thank for helping me! Robin and Nikki!
I made it though. All done. I am now 7 days out. My surgery took just under 2 hours and my first follow up is tomorrow.
I am already 17 lbs down plus the 7 I gained at the hospital that is a total of 24lbs gone...in a week. YEA YEA YEA YEA YEA!
I still have a little trouble breathing deep. But I keep forgetting I am ONLY 3, 4, 5, 7 days out of MAJOR surgery. Walking is easy. It actually makes you feel better. (how sick does that sound) but it allows everything to have space without being smushed I guess.
One thought of advise. EAT EAT and EAT some more! Eat before you have this surgery! I ate back in June when I thought I was going to have it and didn’t have it until Aug 25. I didn’t do a lot of “last meals” before my actual surgery. I should have. I really miss food right now. Of course, 3 days after my surgery, I wanted a cheeseburger. I just want food. I am still on clear liquids. No smoothies, no milk, no nothing that isn’t clear. I will make it…and just think that it will help with the initial weight loss.
I will update after my 1st follow up.
Thank you to everyone that sent emails and posts for me. You were great inspiration.
09/03/03 Follow up with the great Dr today. I AM CLEARED FOR REAL FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! one week and two days after surgery he cleared me for soft foods...just about anything I want as long as I chew it to the consistancy of applesauce. I don't care. I will chew it til there is nothing left now that I can chew something! He said I am doing excellent. Blood work needs to be done in a month and then I will see him again. All looks real good! I was so excited about real food I could have kissed him.
09/15/03
Well I am back at work today. Lot of stimulation. I was needing the structure but a lot of people are welcoming me back and that is soooooooooooo nice but just a lot of stimulation. I am doing really well. I slept in my bed last night with no problems. It did take me a little while to get ready for work this morning...guess I was out of practice a little. But I made it on time and with a smile. My office is quiet so I can retreat when to much is going on. I am a little tired because I got used to a nap right after lunch and I sure cant do it here. :-) But all in all...today was a very good day. I had a whole cheese enchilada for lunch. Such a cheap date now. It cost $1.95 and I had water. So lunch was $2.14. That is cheap and easy. Everyone says how good I look...well they havent seen me in 3 weeks and drum roll please...........28 pounds ago. Yea...28 pounds in 3 weeks to the day. This is sooooooo kewl!
Talk to you later.
09/16/03 Ok..last night was bad. I threw up for the first time. It was rather violent. I had eaten a half of a sandwich (something I have done before) and it sat there like a rock and wouldn't move. When I got home last night, the kids were in trouble for something and that is how my evening started off. It went downhill from there. I knew I wasn't ok when I was eating but I have to learn things the hard way. I have read "don't eat when you are upset" and I thought that applied to everyone but me. ha ha wrong! So now I am sore and I think I will take it easy on my baby tummy today. Nothing to hard for it to handle. The neat thing I have found so far is that my body is forgiving. In a couple of days it will be as if nothing happened. I WILL remember though. Lost another pound by the way. yeah!! that makes 29!
ttyl
09/24/03 Well great news! I went for my one-month follow up today. They were not able to draw blood because they didn’t have a butterfly thingy to use to take it and they couldn’t find any veins. BUT….Met with Dr. Marvin and he said I am doing marvelous! My color looks good and my eyes are bright. He looked at my incisions and said they are all healed up except one but it is almost gone too. He released me from light duty to full release. He said you know what you can do and what you can’t. Don’t push it and do what you want within reason. He doesn’t take after care lightly but he also believes that his patients are smart enough to know what is going on. He said most of them have researched this a lot and know about aftercare and he is there to help them through it. He said he is there to help and answer any questions and fix anything that is wrong. I like that.
I think people can turn their entire life into aftercare and that is like trading one obsession for another. I believe the goal is to get through it and not worry about it anymore. I have a smaller stomach and I have to do certain things in order to exist and be well. Besides, how much of a relationship can you have with 3 or 4 oz at a time?
I met with the nutritionist, she also said I was doing very well. She tested my metabolism with this little machine and said that I am burning 1,920 calories (a day I guess) in a sedentary state. She said that was really really good. I am cleared for beef and really whatever I want and can handle. I am already taking a prenatal vitamin and the nutritionist added B-12 and Calcium.
My weight loss…..36 lbs in 4 weeks and 2 days YEAH!
I now weight 271 from 307. IN 4 WEEKS!!!
My BMI has dropped from 49.6 to 43.7. At 247 I will no longer be considered "Morbid".
This is soooooooooooo kewl!
10/06/03 Not much going on in the weight loss department. I did lose another 6 lbs so now I am at 265. Total loss 42 lbs and today is my six week mark. I will say though...eating just isn't fun anymore. I am too worried about is this enough protein? Did I chew that up enough? Is this going make me queasy?
It isn't like it used to be when I could eat anything and as much as I wanted and never worry about anything but getting fatter.
I did a lot of walking this weekend. I went to a dog show. First for me. It was very interesting. I met a member from here (Joel) who was showing his beautiful flat coated retriever. What an great guy! (Cory-you're great too!!) I like doing new things and now I feel better and can walk and do them. I woke up Sunday sore from all the walking. Honestly, it wasn't that much walking, but for me...it was a lot. Anyway...
BMI now is 42.8. yea!
WT 265 Yea!
TTYL
10/20/03 Well Hello there! And a personal hello to Joel!!! (hahahaha) Yes I am finally updating again. Just been really busy with a new job and lots of things going on. Ok…goods and bads.. Bar-B-Que bad! Last Friday I ate some and burped that woody hickory taste for hours…it finally led to me throwing up. It wasn’t as bad as the first time but it was still bad. I just couldn’t take it anymore and it came up. Caught me off guard and I was in the car…it was a mess. Got choked by the seatbelt…blah blah blah.. But my darling husband came to the rescue and told me when I got home, just go in side, lay down, get cool and he would take care of it. And he did! He is sooooo wonderful! He cleaned up all the nasty barbeque vomit. Poor guy! That was Friday. Saturday we had to rush my son to the hospital with appendicitis. He had surgery Saturday night and is doing fine now. I drank Coke on Saturday and Sunday. It didn’t make me sick at all. As a matter of fact it settled my stomach. I had a lot of carbonation to deal with but I burped and it was great!! I think I am beginning to be able to ingest more sugar as time goes by. All in all I am doing well and I now weigh…..260 so that is 47 pounds gone forever and today makes eight weeks since my surgery. Current BMI is 42.0
YEA!!!
TTYL
11/03/03
Ok…haven’t updated in a couple of weeks…nothing really to update. I have not lost another damn pound. Grrrrrrrrrrr I think it has become time to start exercising. As much as I hate that. I have been able to eat popcorn. Just about as much as I want. Which is awesome and odd. I have tested the sugar thing over and over and it just isn’t an issue anymore. However, it surely could be the reason that I haven’t lost any weight in a couple of weeks. I have to get back on track. I really thought this was going to be more of a hands off thing. I wont have to diet or anything…well maybe I do have to a little. I know I should focus on protein protein protein. I actually gained a couple of pounds, then lost them…worries me that I did all of this for 47 damn pounds. I know I didn’t and it will begin to pick back up and the losing will start again. It is just frustrating. But…..I will survive.
Weight 260, loss 47 BMI 42.0
TTYL
ps... some of the bills are coming in for my surgery...the hospital bill alone....$40,000....thank goodness for insurance!
11/17/03
Hello to all. Well I am still losing..litte bit by little bit. I am now at 254. Which is great because of the 4 pounds I gained two weeks ago. So I lost 10 pounds but only 6 are new ones. So I am still on the right tract. I eat popcorn like it is going out of style. It is great when my mouth gets the muchies but I dont really want anything heavy. Dr. Marvin did a great job. I have no problems from my surgery and almost no side effects. Matter of fact, the only restrictions or limitations I have is the size of my stomach and having to chew chew and chew some more.....but the little baby tummy is what it is all about..and we are suppose to chew our food well aren't we?!?!?!! I eat what I want, when I want. I have noticed that it is better if I eat when there is little or no stress but that ain't always the case. Life gets in the way of my need for stress free eating. People who have not had this surgery give me greif because I think I should be losing more and they say, "sheesh, what you have lost is awesome...what do you want? to wake up one day and it all be done?" I have thought about this for a while because when they say this to me I feel guilty and greedy...but I figured it out..Yes I would love to wake up skinny, but that is not a reality..however...even though my surgery went great and I am doing well...I still have struggles everyday. I still have to be aware of everything I put in my mouth. Not to mention the surgery itself and the recovery hurt like hell. So yes, I want more weight loss. But..I put a smile on my face and say " I didn't gain it overnight, I can't lose it overnight" "slow is better" blah blah blah....
Today is a good day...hehehehe ok done complaining. (putting my little soap box up) (smiling brightly)
actually, I am always happy when it is going doooowwwwnnnn!)
Weight 254 Loss 53 BMI 41.0 Yippie!
12/01/03
Well….Thanksgiving was wonderful. I ate all day and everything was great. It wasn’t until the next day that I ate too much and threw up. But that is ok. I am still learning. It was so cool to be able to eat pumpkin pie and desserts as I choose. Even with all of that….I still lost 1 pound over the holiday week. How cool is that! This surgery has really been a lifesaver! I finally have the very thing I need with almost no side effects. I needed a limitation device. I now have limits or consequences. Throwing up is a pretty good deterrence to overeating. I hate being sick at my stomach and I hate throwing up even more, so I am careful. I have found that I have a much better time if I slow down and chew my food to a fine consistency. This of course takes a while and allows me to enjoy my meal with my family and I am finished about the same time they are. I had a great variety of food…I just had a couple of small bites of each. Anything I didn’t get on the first go around, two or three hours later I got to sample.
I have started buying better quality food and fresh herbs. Since my portion has been reduced to almost nothing, I can afford to buy better stuff. I figure that if all I can have is a few bites, I want them to be the best bites possible. The best thing is that I can still eat anything I want (just in smaller portions). I am not quilted into eating salads. I don’t eat salads anymore. Salads do not offer enough protein and they take up an awful lot of space.
A few weeks ago, I cleaned out my closet and reorganized it according to size. It is wonderful to go in and look at clothes that were too small and put them on now and they fit. I have lost about 6 sizes. I was wearing about a 28 and now I am back down into a comfortable 22.
I really really really need to start exercising! I just have not found the burning desire. Why? Because I am lazy. Yes I know it would help my weight loss…I know once I get started, I will be happy to do it…it is just “getting started” that is the problem. I have so far found about 43 reasons to date as to why I will do it tomorrow and not today. I hate to exercise, but I know I need to do it. It will make me feel better, it will help the weight loss, it will help tone the flabby skin, it will give me something to do other than sit on my behind….and the list keeps going…but one thing I heard and truly believe….
“Change will only occur when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change”.
Weight 249 Loss 58 BMI 40.2 yea!!
12/18/03 Howdy howdy howdy!
Everything is going very well. I have lost a few more pounds..now I am down to 244. Wow! 3 more pounds and I will no longer be "morbidly obese". At 241 I will be "very obese". Which doesn't sound a whole lot better but knowing that I will NEVER be MORBIDlY OBESE again is a very good thought. It really makes reality set in on the fact that this is forever! Would I do it again? In a heartbeat! My hubby is so proud of me. We have been married a little over 5 years and I was overweight when we met. I was at about 220. At one point in our relationship I got down to about 180 and he really noticed. He says he doesn't care about my size, only the health issues that go along with being overweight. He has never made "fat" comments, only that no matter big or small, tall or short, with hair or bald...he loves me more and more everyday. I feel so much better about myself now than I did 4 months ago. I look forward to getting dressed every morning. It is an adventure as to what will fit and what is too big or what is a little to small still. I look so much better and I feel wonderful. I am no longer short of breath all the time. Matter of fact...I am never short of breath. Now don't get me wrong, I am not exercising yet...but my goal is to start that with the new year. It is funny...many many people set New Year resolutions and most of the time one of them is to exercise more. I have done it in the past but not often because I KNOW that ain't gonna happen, so why set myself up for failure. I usually make my list of resolutions long...about 10 or 15 things. I then focus on two or three things and accomplish those. And if I try to work on something that I just can't accomplish, I have a list of other things to pick from or I look at the list and some of the really hard things, and that makes the thing I am trying to do seem not as hard. Anyway..gee I am rambling today.. I WILL start exercising this new year. That is the only way to kick my weight loss in the butt and really get it going. Besides, I want to be fitter come summer time. I know I will probably never be in a two piece swimsuit but I will be healthy and feel good.
Dr. Marvin did such a great job with my surgery. I have NO side effects other than quanity restriction. I eat popcorn and chips with salsa. I eat bread. I eat steak and potatoes. I eat real ice cream. I eat pecan pie and pumkin pie. I eat hamburgers. I eat rice. All the things they said I probably wouldn't eat every again. I just have to aware of quanity.
This is how it is suppose to be! I read about people having problems with dumping and I really feel for them. The first two weeks after my surgery I had that issue but now it is gone. Sure I think my body has something to do with it, but I really really think that my doctor had the most to do with it. Thank you Dr. Marvin! Thank you for giving me my life back! Thank you for helping me limit my quanity so I can enjoy seeing my children grow up and play with my grandchildren and probably see my great grandchildren as well. I know that I probably wouldnt have lived another 5 years the way things were going. I will never be able to thank you enough. How do you thank someone for not only saving your life, but giving you better one?
I have to have blood drawn this month. That always sucks!!! They can never find the vein and they usually wind up sticking me more than once. Yuk yuk.
Anyway...ok that is all for today..
Weight 244 Loss 62 BMI 39.4
Long time no write..
Well today is 3/14/07 and my weight has leveled off. I have now had a tummy tuck and it is awesome. I am at 165 with a bmi of I think 25.4. Yes still not in the "normal" range but I have come from a size 28 to a size 10/12 I think that is about as "normal" as I am going to get.
