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On April 3, 2007 I was one year post op lap rny.  Looking back over this past year, it's quite surreal at times.  I weighed 285 now I weigh 162, size 10. My goal was 160 and or to be a size 12.   So I feel like I made goal.  My weight loss has been such a blessing to me.  I feel better and I have more energy.  I look better and my self esteem is through the roof.  I always have been outgoing and always tried to take care of myself and look nice, but being smaller weight wise has really lifted me to higher heights.  But sometimes, I feel like it's a curse too.  I didn't really realize how differently people treat you once you lose a large amount of weight.  I have a very good friend that has always been small and she has in the last few years gained about 40 lbs and she says things that are somewhat hurtful.  It's like some friends and some that are not so friendly, want you to remain in place, meaning that you are the funny, fat, friend with the cute face.  It like they don't want to go places with you because you are smaller now and maybe will turn a head or two.  One friend told me just last night when I walked in the room and was looking "ultra fly and highly divalious" "I AINT GOING!!!" I never said that when I was the big girl.  I just worked what I had.  Any way, sometimes it's not meant to be hurtful, but that doesnt stop it from being hurtful.  Just had to get that off my chest.
I have been blessed thus far on this wonderful journey.  I really don't want to be any smaller than what I am, but I do want to have a tt and breast augmentation.  Those are my goals for summer 2008.  I am planning on hiring a personal trainer this summer, to help me tone and build muscle in my arms and legs.  I have been exercising well lately, and that makes me feel better.
As far as relationships go, my husband and I are doing good.  I was a little nervous that he would be jealous and crazy, but that has not happened.  We do get tired of people asking how he feels about the weight loss, that has never really been an issue in our relationship, he loves me no matter what.
For all the newbies out there, remember, your journey is your own, its what you make and take from it that makes it successful.  My advice would be take your vitamins, exercise often, drink your fluids, and follow the rules of the pouch and you will be successful.  
Until next time.........

Hey Everybody!  It's time to update again.  Whats up with me and this journey?  Well....Good days and bad days.  Right now I am doing the fat smash diet and some great friends on BAF are doing it with me!(Cookie, Ebony, Arnesia thank you!!!)  This has actually been good for me.  I started on Monday and I have lost 3 lbs already!!! That puts me 5 lbs from goal!!!  Before I started fat smash, I was not doing that great at all, exercise was a joke, eating healthy and making good choices, an even bigger joke.  But now I feel I'm back on track! I have rededicated myself to doing the RIGHT thing.  I have an appoint ment with my doctor next week and I hope that I'm at goal by then, but if not, its my own fault for not doing right for the last couple of months.  My husband doesnt want me to lose anymore weight, but I really want to get to 160 and then just maintain.  I keep telling him I'm not losing anymore, maybe he won't be able to tell about 5 lbs.  School is going well, I'm just ready for this semester to be over with.  I need a break!  I'm thinking about making a job change after the semester, but I am a little scared, I have been at my job for almost 16 years.  I'm going to just let God lead me.  
until next time.....

Wow it doesn't seem like its has been 10 mths!!!  This has been a great journey.  I am only 10 lbs away from goal!!!  I can't believe it.  I am pretty much eating what ever I want.  I still don't do carbonated beverages or drink with meals.  I do sometimes eat a few or more potatoe chips and occasionally a cookie.  I'm still not exercising like I should.  I am currently in grad school and this semester is a monster.  I have 14 hours (9 is full time) and I work full time, plus I have to do 12 clinical hours a week.  Soooooo, I'm finding it very difficult to fit in the workout.  I could do it in the morning, but I'm so tired from staying up late that I can't get up and motivated to do any thing.  I bought me an ellipitical and right now it's catching dust, but soon and I hope very soon, my time schedule will allow for some much need workouts.  

Ok, how bout I can wear some 10's WTF!!! Honestly, I have not been able to wear a size 10 since I was probably 14 or 15.  I don't get it sometimes, when I was younger and about 145 or 150 I was a size 13 or 14, now at 170 I can wear 13 in junior miss and 10-12 in misses!  I am really glad about that.  One great thing about being small is you can really find some great deals on clothes on sale.  I have really been shopping lately!!! Well, I have so much homework...Until later

Jan. 4, 2007.  
It's one day past my 9 mth anniversary and I almost forgot to post!  Well, here goes....I am up one pound at 175, but I am not upset in the least bit because I have not been exercising or doing what I should be doing.  I am starting this year off right!  I will be doing the protein train next week and I'm hoping to drop at least 5 lbs. I really want to get to 160 by my 1 year anniversary.  I don't think that's an unrealistic goal that's about 5 lbs a month and I should be able to do that.  I have been doing some major snacking.  Potatoe chips mostly and not eating a good meal at night.  That will change though.  It's time to get back to the basics!  Protein, fluids, vitamins!!!  I think I'm losing inches now more than anything.  I can wear a 12 comfortably and a 10 is tight.  I used to think that I just wanted to be a size 12, but now I really think I want to be a 10 or 8 even.  I did do some walking during the christmas break, but I really need to develop a true schedule and that's my other goal for this year.  I have got to do some type of exercise at least 3 days a week and I think I have that figured out.  We'll see how that goes next week when school starts back and I'm on that hectic schedule.  I'll be taking 14 hrs (9 hrs is full time for grad school), so I'm expecting my stress level to be off the scale.  My poor family is all I can say!  
Honestly, I can say I want to be 160, but if I don't lose another pound, I'm ok.  I feel great and I look great, no one can believe I weigh 175.  And for my 40th birthday, I'm having a tt and breast implants as a gift to myself and I can't wait!!! 
I'll be back in a month to let you know how my journey is progressing.  Until then.......

It is the day after christmas and I weigh in at 174!!! I am soooo glad that's only 14 more pounds to goal!!! I feel sure that I'll reach that by my 1 year anniversary!!! I did eat some pound cake  yesterday and some chips last night, but I'm back on the wagon to conquer these last few pounds.  My husband's family is telling me not to lose any more weight, but my question is how do you stop it!  *not that I want to* But I really don't want to be too small.  At 174 I am in a comfortable 12 and a tight 10.  We'll see what happens.  I had a really good christmas my husband bought me a coach purse and I love it.  We spent most of the day at his mom's and it was nice not to have to be far from home.  My oldest son moved out last week and has been calling me every since.  I' m glad he's moved out but I kinda felt sorry for him because he doesn't have a car and had to wait for me to bring him some dinner, which was at my convienence. Any whoo, he'll be alright.  I am kinda upset because I have not seen my doctor yet.  I didn't make my 6mth check up because of conflicting school schedules and was supposed to see him on Jan. 4, but his office has cancelled that appointment and school starts back Jan 8 so I don't know when I'll be able to see him.  
I did not exercise last week at all with the hustle and bustle of the holiday, so its on this week.......oh yeah, my new BMI is 28.1 that's overweight from morbid obesity

Today I got on the scales and I was 179 yea for me!!!! I also had to buy new scrubs for work.  Size medium.  That feels really good! This whole weekend was a WoW moment for me.  I went to a christmas party and I must say I felt like the belle of the ball!! I wore a red halter dress with a gold shawl and gold strappy shoes.  I was gorgeous.  I hope that doesn't sound conceited, but as my dad says, "its a poor dog that won't wag his own tail!"  At least 5 of my current co-workers who see me all the time and have known be for the past 15 years said they did not even recognize me!!! Plus my husband asked me if I was as hot as I looked!! I was grinning like a chess cat.  Then on Sunday I wore a suit that was a size 8! don't know how most of my clothes are size 12.  I did buy a pantsuit that was size 10 but I need to lose about 5 or 10 more pounds to look really good in that joka!!! The suit I wore to church was so pretty.  My daddy said I was looking like I did when I was in high school and my husband had better watch out!!:) I really felt skinny and pretty this weekend and I have not felt like that in a long time! Until next time....

12/03/06
Ok, how 'bout I woke up this morning went to the bathroom, then weighed, and the scales said 180.  What???That's right, 180.  I made sure the scales were adjusted and then weighed again and it said the same thing.  Then about 4 hours later, I weighed again and it still said 180.  On my 8 mth anniversary date, I am so happy!!! Only 20 more lbs to go!!!!WLS is the BOMB!! It has truly saved my life!!

12/02/06
As of tomorrow, I will be 8 mths post op.  I am weighing in at 184 and wearing size 12/14 pants and med tops.  I am happy to be 101 lbs smaller, but at the same time, I'm wanting to be at goal (160).  I have not been doing any exercising and to make matters worse, I have not been eating well.  Some days its nothing but junk and others its just not enough of anything,  I have got to get back on track.  I have really been consumed with grad. school.  Its so hard to work full time, be a full time student, and then there's the role of wife and mother.  I can't wait to finish this semester next week (12/07/06).  I have set a goal to try and lose at least 10 lbs this month.  I vow to return to exercising and get my protien in.  My 1st post op doctor's appt will be Jan. 4 and I want to lose those ten lbs by then.  Ultimately I want to be at goal on my one year anniversary date (04/03/07).  
On the other hand, I have really been getting a lot of attention.  Now, its "you're going to blow away" or damn, girl you looking good.  But although its flattering, I'm tired of the comments re: my weight.  My husband is starting to show a few signs of jealously.  He definately has nothing to worry about.  I love him and only want to be with him and I need for him to be secure in that.  Well, until next time....

It's official and now I have my card!!! 101 lbs gone forever

November 24, 2006
I was really worried about the holidays, but I have faired well.  I am offically down 100+lbs!  YEAH for me!!!  I am down to 184 lbs and feeling really good about myself these days.  I had to admit to myself that in the past few years I have not been going to any of the holiday parties because I felt fat and unattractive.  But this year I plan on making my return!!! I did ok on what I ate.  I did have a piece of cake yesterday, I paid the price.  I didn't dump, I just didn't feel good.  I really haven't been eating well lately on the weekends.  It's hard because I get busy with schoolwork or housework and before I know it, the day is half gone, and I haven't eaten.  So that's my immediate goal to try and do better on the weekends.  I have uploaded some new pics taken a couple of weeks ago, I thought I looked really pretty and I haven't felt like that in a loooonnnnnggggg time.